Gifts and more gifts

I know, it's like the hundredth time I am saying this, but work is really too much at this time of year!

When most people are winding down with Christmas and New Year's and shopping, I am stuck at work till 9.

Anyway, yesterday was a colleague's birthday and we only celebrated it today, with a cake and a present.

I have never bought such an expensive gift before for anyone, except for myself of course.

You see, this colleague of mine lost his mobile phone last month, a Nokia 6233, after having it for a grand total of 2 days!

His previous phone was a really old one, with monochrome screen, also a Nokia.

We believed it was swiped of his work desk when the trash lady came to empty the waste basket.

Immediately, a colleague and I decided to get him the exact same phone for his birthday. We asked around and managed to get the whole department to chip in.

I was assigned the task of buying the phone, which I did on Christmas eve morning.



I got it for $400 (without a mobile plan) and shared among 7 of us. I think with a 2-year contract mobile plan, it is about $100. This website says it sells for AU$499, so not too bad lar.

Initially, I was a bit worried that his family or friends might have the same brilliant idea and got him a phone too as a gift, but thankfully they did not.

When he unwrapped the present, he was truly shocked and stunned. I could tell from his expression that he was really touched and didn't expect it at all.

I think for that alone, it's worth the money. These kind of things, as Mastercard says, are priceless.

**************************

Anyway, I did my own shopping one week before Christmas.

Actually, it was more of impulsive buying. I wasn't really planning to buy anything, but then I have been looking for a bag for some time and there was this shop at Vivocity which had a 20% store-opening discount .... which means it is only $28 ...

So, this is what I bought:



By the way, I don't really like Vivocity. It's too crowded (and even more so during the current school holidays), the floor plan is confusing and it doesn't feel very spacious, even though it's the largest mall here in Singapore.

Though that didn't stop me from walking around some more and buying this pair of shoes:



So, that's that.

Anyway, I will be coming back to KL this weekend. Yay!

I could really use with the long weekend break, coz I have been told I need to work on the first weekend of January. Not just one day, but both Saturday and Sunday! Sigh ...

The flood doesn't affect the North-South highway, does it?

Happy New Year everyone! Let's look forward to a better and more exciting 2007.

Christmas on the beach

I spent Christmas eve at Sentosa, on the beach, listening to the waves, talking, laughing, drinking ....

Was afraid the rain would spoil the plans, but luckily it stopped just in time.

Arrived at the beach close to midnight, with nary a visitor in sight. Actually, there were, but it was too dark to see. Sentosa looks totally different in the dark.

Found a nice little hut cum shelter to put down our stuff and food - turkey and log cake and drinks.

A few invitees didn't turn up and coincidentally, I asked someone to come along. Should have ask more people as we have lots of unfinished food when we left this morning.

It's a different way to spend Christmas eve, away from the crowds, the lights of the city, the noise of the vehicles. I never like countdowns; people stand so close to each other that they can smell what the other had for dinner.

Which explains why I have never been to one at KLCC or Bukit Bintang or wherever.

Most of them, I have only met once. But it was fun, to see them again.

We joked, we laughed, we made fun and teased each other.

********************************

And I told him, finally.

It's never easy to break the bad news. But I suppose truth hurts, untruth hurts more.

I am more used to being down, rather than doing it.

Which probably explains my hesitance.

I planned to do it some time later, after I come back from KL, but someone said that now was as good a time as any.

I was wrong to have misled him, to have given mixed signals or worse still, hope.

I am really sorry for that.

Admittedly, the attention was flattering. It was nice to be cared for. It was touching to have someone buy dinner when I was working late.

I actually did try. For the past two weeks, I did. By going out, watching movies, dinner, the book I got him .....

But these things can't be forced, can they? Deep down, I knew what to do, but it was the doing part that was difficult.

Thanks to someone, I was given a little push to just say it.

To just do it. To just let it out.

And I did.

I felt better after that. He did too.

He's a nice person. I can even say that he is caring to a fault sometimes. He deserves someone better who can appreciate him for who is.

More importantly, we are still friends.

Death Note 2

I caught the midnight screening of Death Note 2 yesterday.

For those who did not watch the first part, I strongly suggest you do, at least find out from online resources about the manga or anime.

Death Note 2 may be slightly confusing if you did not. Also, it might appeal to fans of the manga only, because at slightly more than 2 hours, it was a bit draggy at parts and could do with tighter editing.

Let me say that the movie is really different from the manga, which it is based on and which sold 10 million copies in Japan alone.

The gist of the story is basically how a college student (high school student in the manga) found a Death Note, in which whose name is written in it will die within 40 seconds of a heart attack. If the cause of death is to be stated, it has to be written in the Death Note within 400 seconds.

Sounds really childish, doesn't it? But there are quite heavy moral discussions and issues involved.

The main character, Light Yagami, used the notebook to kill criminals worldwide. Crime rates fell everywhere, because people know that so-called justice is served by Kira, the name given to the executioner of the bad guys.

But is taking the law into your own hands and killing bad guys the right way? Is creating an utopian crime free world based on fear and punishment, ideal?

The Japanese police is hot on the heels of Kira, led by international crime solver, L or his name Ryuzaki.

The first Death Note movie wasn't strictly based on the manga, as quite a number of things were changed, like how Light and L met and Light having a girlfriend in the movie when it wasn't mentioned at all in the comic.

The pacing was slow as a lot of introduction to the characters have to be made, though it ended with quite a cliffhanger in the end.

The second movie picked up where the first left off, with Light joining the investigative time to capture Kira. It is ironic that the criminal is on the good side trying to capture himself, which is how the trailer promoted the movie as a battle of wits between two geniuses, one good and one evil.

There are many twist and turns, but they all are faithful to the manga. A new character was introduced, as in the third Kira was different from the comic.

Two thirds into the movie, I was afraid that there would be a third movie as it followed the manga faithfully, with no ending in sight.

However I was wrong.

What I am really impressed with though is the ending. I think it is better than the one in the manga, where the former has proper closure and the latter did not. In the manga, it kind of lost its steam after L died.

I shall not spoil it for you but I applaud the producers and writers who came up with the ending.

There was also more human drama and emotion towards the end of the movie, whereas the manga was more on the cat-and-mouse between L and Light.

I can't divulge more without spoiling the story.

Light, played by Tatsuya Fujiwara, isn't really cute in my opinion. Looks a bit too chubby for my liking.

L, played by Ken'ichi Matsuyama is much cuter, if he loses the make-up he has on for the movie. Also, he is more endearing in the second movie and really captured the essence of L, with his weird behaviour and intellectual superiority as in the manga.

Overall I would rate it a 4 out of 5.

Erayawn

I watched a midnight movie yesterday, which was so un-terrific and average, that the only saving grace was the venue of the cinema.

I was at the Cathay, where it used to be an old cinema, like what we used to have in KL - standalone one-hall cinemas with popcorns strewn on the floor after every movie.

The Cathay at Handy Road has been transformed into a new cineplex which was only opened this year. Must be quite impressive if it is even listed in Wikipedia, no?

I actually wanted to go to the one at Cineleisure, but the movie was shown in a small cinema. Of course, me being a fan of the bigger the better (ahem!) I chose the Cathay where the midnight session was shown on a much bigger one.

Oh boy, was the cinema grand! A lot of people in Singapore have not been there either, because it is a bit out of the way from Orchard, even though it is only like 500 metres away from the main shopping area.

Since when has a cinema screen has curtains, like what you see on performance stages? Or a voice which says "Welcome to the Cathay. We wish you an enjoyable movie experience" and the red curtains slide away to the sides?

I know those olden-days cinema had them minus the voice, but new ones?

It all looked very grand. The whole hall was bathed in red lights, red carpeting and walls with golden Roman pillars and trimmings. There was a lot of leg room too.

I would most probably go there again, if the movie I am watching is going to be screened in that hall.

Now to the movie.

It started quite interestingly, with an elf being chased and got caught by bad guys, with a voice-over in the background.

Very-LOTR like.

And also, that is like the only thing they took from the book it was based on, written by Christopher Paolini.

There are many similarities with LOTR, probably because the director wanted to emulate the grandiose and epicness of the former.

The next scene after that showed Eragon and his uncle and cousin working in the farm in summer. Much like the early scene of the Shire where everything is green and alive.

But the book started in winter. As I said, the opening scene was the only thing they took from the book, besides the title.

Moreover, the whole movie felt rushed. The scenes kept alternating between Eragon and the king, which didn't come across as smooth and coherent.

Another rubbish scene was how the dragon, about 5 feet long, flew in the sky, got strike by lightning three times and become 30-feet long. A baby dragon to an adult in three blinks of the eye.

Like, hello? I know it's fantasy, but at least some credibility.

A lot of things are left unexplained, or rather have been omitted. Eragon, the young farm boy could suddenly do magic spells and fight within the first half hour of the movie, without training whatsoever save one scene where he trained swords with Brom, the ex-Dragon Rider.

I was sienz half way through the movie. Predictable and not much excitement. The bad guys only know how to say threats and growl and not even once seem menacing enough.

The only saving grace is the visual effects. The dragon looked really life-like (but it has feathers on its wings, which is like, so salah!) and the final battle scene was really good.

Character development was poor because the director seemed to be rushing everything. They seemed so stereotypical. A mentor for the hero, a power-hungry king, Durza the dark wizard and his followers who can't capture the hero, etc.

Apparently it was never the intention to make the story a trilogy. There would only be a sequel if the movie was a success, which by the looks of it, I doubt so.

Hopefully, there would be no sequel so that we'll be spared a third-grade LOTR.

I rate the movie a 5.5 out of ten. IMDB has an average rating of 5.2 from 1200 viewers.

Save yourself the ticket money. The book is so much better.

Spoilt Sunday

Can't believe like that this is only the third post of the month!

I have been working quite late this past week, staying till about 11 p.m. in the office. I know that to some of you, that is like nothing. Seriously, I don't know how you guys do it.

I haven't the faintest idea how investment bankers do it either. Day in, day out, 100 hours per week. But of course, they get paid like 20 times what I earn, or more.

On the other hand, I shouldn't be complaining. Someone else is even more busy at work till the boyfriend feels neglected!

I was invited to attend Alex's (such a dear!) gathering last weekend, but unfortunately I wasn't in KL. Thanks, Alex. Will make it up to you!

Last Sunday, I was at Sungai Buloh Wetland Reserve (Singapore, not the Sungai Buloh in KL). It's basically a mangrove area gazetted as a national park, so that it can't be developed into something like, say the Integrated Resort (which Genting won the bid to the Sentosa's one last Saturday). As it is winter now in the northern hemisphere, the reserve is like a pitstop for migratory birds, similar to Tanjong Tuan in Melaka.

And now for some photos.

Stick insect

Caterpillar

Red pincer crab

Spider

Birds

More of them birds

Cicada

After that, Lloyd and I rushed to Plaza Singapura to catch Quinceañera, a gay-themed film rated M18 (Mature 18) which has received quite good reviews.

At the ticket counter, I was asked to produce a photo ID. Now, it's not a must to carry my Malaysian I/C here, which was why I didn't. I only carry my employment pass, something like a work permit card, but which doesn't have a photo, just the date of birth.

But the ticketing guy let me buy a ticket anyway.

At the entrance to the cinema halls, this old man requested for my ID too. I thought the ticketing guy allowed me to buy the tickets, surely this old man was going to give me much trouble.

But jeunowat, he did! He bloody denied me entry, in front of all the other patrons! I was too shocked and my jaw nearly dropped!

Hello, I may look young, but definitely not THAT young. I think it happened, probably because of him being a stickler for rules and not using common sense.

I was totally pissed. Even though the ticket was refunded, but I actually rushed all the way there (a 40-minute train ride) and had a quick bite ... all gone to waste.

Yeah, I know, people kept telling me that I should be happy that I was mistaken for a 18 year old, but hey, it was an old uncle ... not some cute guy! So no consolation there.

But someone was around and tried to make me feel better.

And honestly, I would rather have watched the movie instead. I mean, I am a practical person. Indirect compliments or implied ones don't make up for it.

Fortunately, I was sufficiently entertained by a hula hoop competition for kids at the shopping mall. The kids were damn cute with their concentrated expressions and desire to outdo each other. It was really funny and the MC was hilarious too!


I had a really good laugh watching them performed.

Did a little Christmas shopping after that and then headed for home.

Ménage à trois II

A ménage à trois is the French term describing a relationship or domestic arrangement in which three people, often a married couple and another lover, share a sexual relationship, although the relationship might or might not involve all three persons having sexual relations with each other. The French phrase literally translates as "household of three".

Two weeks ago, a member of the Yahoogroup that I am subscribed to, posted a message regarding three persons in a relationship.

"Can a person fall in love with 2 different people at the same time? If he chooses both and gives both his very best, will that make him unfaithful to either one? :-("

The next reply to the post was someone admitting to having two boyfriends and both of them know the existence of the other.

Almost immediately, the replies came fast and furious. The type of responses given were not unexpected, like:

How can one love more than one person? If you say you love one for different needs, different personalities, thats a bit bias, isn't it? If you can do that, would you like it do be done onto you?

A sign of being "in love" with someone is that you are able to be 100% monogamous and faithful to that person and do not even give a second thought to bringing a third (or fourth or fifth) party into the equation or worse still looking outside the relationship for SO CALLED "specific needs" to be fulfilled. If the above is not the case then just please face the fact that you are not really "in love" with the person.

If you can't decide who you are most in love with, or you think you are equally in love with two persons, then, you are most in love with YOURSELF!

After that, there were views which state said that it was OK to them, as long as the people involved are fair to each other but still they cannot really accept it. There were more opposing than agreeing on this kind of arrangement.

Personally, I understand that most initial reactions would be what a selfish bastard that person is. How greedy! What a jerk!

Could it be because of our exposure to things such as a husband having a mistress with the long-suffering wife ignored or husbands taking in more than one wife? Of the latter, there are numerous Chinese serials depicting how the wives are unhappy and compete with each other for the husband's attention.

In both instances, we usually pity the wives and blame the husband. Very seldom that the household are in harmony and both wives get along well with each other with the husband showering equal care and love.

In a gay threesome, wouldn't you expect it to be different? All and each of the three persons are capable of loving the other two, unlike a one-man-two-woman arrangement. It is quite unlikely and almost unfathomable, though not impossible, that the two women would have a lesbian affair.

True, it would be difficult to maintain such an arrangement. There are TWO persons feelings and needs to take care off, thus more difficult to manage.

Though from another point of view, one could also say that one person has two other people taking care of his needs and who wouldn't like that?

Ultimately, the giving and taking would amount be the same.

Of course, there is also the concern of what if two of the three like each other more and start to ignore or worse still, ditch the third? What if the other two are spending more time with each other and the third feels neglected and even a little jealous?

But really, how is this any different from a two person relationship? Even in such a relationship, one person might still feel slighted by the other like not spending enough time together, for whatever reason such as work or hanging out with his other friends? There is also the common occurrence of one's partner cheating with another person.

Some have commented that such arrangements are acceptable as why be bounded by traditional norms, either through centuries of practice, religion or simply because it is "not done" and "frowned upon".

To me, it seems to imply that it is as if anything goes in the gay community; as if whatever the heterosexuals are doing and we're doing it differently, we should be accepting of it. Afterall, we are all for diversity, aren't we?

I am rather uncomfortable with such a train of thought. It is as if we're accepting something for the sake of diversity, as long as it not too overboard. Heck, even if it's too overboard, it's OK coz we're gay!

Personally, I believe it is something acceptable because hey, it works for them! If three people really love amongst themselves and can managed comfortably in a ménage à trois, well, good for them! Why not do it just because no one else you know is in a similar position?

As someone correctly pointed out, monogamous relationship aren't that great either. It is fraught with problems and issues. With three persons, the disagreements may tripled or quadrupled exponentially, by with three heads, who knows, it may be solvable.

In addition, is our capacity to love so limited and only to one person at any one time? That we can't love two different people at one time?

Someone else pointed out that we do love different people at different times in our lives i.e. from one relationship to another.

What if we love two at one time? Must the option be always choose one or the other?

Of course, not everyone can manage such a complex arrangement. I don't even know how do you start one!

Would it be like, "X, this is Z. Z, this is X. I love the both of you equally and I don't think I can choose one over the other, let's see whether the both of you can work something out."

Many are readily to admit that coping with one other half is already difficult, but with two, no thanks man!

Fair enough. I would concur too.

It is already taking up a lot of time to date, placate, support, watch movies, withstand the mood swings, understand, listen, care for, make decisions together, compromise with, etc our partner, what more partners.

But somehow, a lot of people still think of it as "main kayu tiga" (unfaithful or affair). How can something be unfaithful which implies dishonesty and cheating, when all three know about each other and everything is in the open?

The variables are more, certainly. Hence, it would take three very committed, open-minded, wonderful listeners and communicators and whatever other characters that are possibly more in supply than the rest of us, to make such an arrangement doable, feasable and manageable.

Or maybe it's simply loads and loads of luck!

As for myself, I would say that it is not something suitable for me. One person is enough, unless I have the hands of fate serve me another person who loves me a lot and who happens to love my current partner too.

That would be something to be decided if and when it happens, as it is rather unlikely and remote.

Perhaps it has nothing to do with love at all.

Perhaps the formula that makes it work is simpler and it's just three persons enjoying each other's company so much and they can have romantic feelings for each other.

Ménage à trois

Can three persons be in a relationship? As in, can a person have two boyfriends and both the boyfriends know each other and all three are in a relationship together?

Please discuss or comment. ;P

Jack and the Beansprout

The day after my little embarrassing experience, I woke up with a headache. Not a serious one, just a mild ache on the right side of my cranium but painful enough to make me not want to get out of bed.

But get up I must, as I have bought tickets to a musical / pantomime called "Jack and the Beansprout". I bought two tickets end of last month to take advantage of the early bird discount.

The musical was at the National Library. I was still feeling somewhat sick from last night and didn't feel like eating at all even though I hadn't eaten anything since the night before.

But I force myself to have a sandwich just before the show started.

Anyway, it is pretty obvious that it's a local take on the fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack's mom was played by Ivan Heng, the Artistic Director of W!ld Rice production house itself.

And damn, this guy is really good in drag. He literally brought the house down with his antics.

This was not really a gay play, but more like for children in conjunction with the school holidays and Christmas. Hence, about half the attendees were children.

In addition, there were interactions with the crowd, something like an interactive play. Jack, played by Sebastian Tan who by the way looks kinda cute in secondary school uniform with knee-length pants, would ask the crowd "Should Jack continue to climb or go down?"

Of course, the adults were not forgotten as there were some "adult" jokes which were lost on the kids. But maybe not, seeing nowadays how kids can be pretty smart.

There were a few phrases in Hokkien, which I could not understand. But I still laughed anyway, as I could vaguely guessed the correct meaning. I think.

The supporting actors were fabulous as well. The harp and the golden goose could really sing well and their voices were superb.

As for the songs, some of them are really catchy. All very up-tempo and upbeat.

One character that was really cute is Bamboo, the Giant's housekeeper. She was dressed in those cute Japanese dresses which are quite outrageous and which you would only find girls wearing them in Japan.

The thing that was really adorable about her was how she made all those exaggerated gestures when she is happy or sad. Like those you see in manga or anime.

In fact, when she cried, she actually used her hands and draw out half M's from her eyes, like she was making a McDonald's sign but starting from both her eyes.

Really kawaii and funny! I was laughing like mad!

Overall, I really enjoyed the show. Though it was a bit draggy at two and a half hours, it didn't feel that long and it managed to keep me entertained for the most up.

Inebriated II

I have been swamped at work for the past week because of the auditors. In addition, my boss has just left the company.

So now, I am boss-less and manager-less. I deal straight with my MD, which is bad and good.

For the past three weeks, I have been meeting lots of people. Which is good, because I now have people to hang out whenever I need someone. The downside is that I haven't had much time for myself.

For the past four weekends except for this one, I have been out clubbing. I am already tired of it.

It's great when it's with a bunch of friends or when I am really stressed out and need to let my hair down. Otherwise, it's just going for the sake of going.

Besides, I need more than one day to recover. When I reach home in the wee of hours of the morning, I could barely sleep. I am not sure whether it's the alcohol or me taking a longer time to wind down, but I could never sleep soundly. I will probably be awake by 9 am and maybe get a couple of hours of sleep in the afternoon.

I definitely need more than 5 hours of sleep a day!

For every one hour of lost sleep, one needs two hours to compensate. So for the rest of the week, I would be half conscious and zombie-like.

Nothing of significance happened, except that I was at a party on Friday. There was another one yesterday, but I didn't go as I wanted to recuperate from my slightly excessive alcohol binge.

Actually, I do know when to stop. I know what my limits are. I was pretty OK when I left the host's house. But once I got into the car and it started moving, the motion was unbearable and I felt ill.

The alcohol effect was immediate.

I knew where I was and what I was doing. I could hear other people's voices but my eyelids were heavy.

I puked on the roadside and I was taken to a petrol station's toilet to puke some more. But actually there wasn't anything else to come out.

Getting back into the car, there was occasionally the feeling of more wanting to come out, but I think I only puked one more time.

Really, this is the first time I have had it this bad. I still think it was all because of the motion sickness that made it worse.

The other people in the car were kind enough to take good care of me and especially holding the bag for me.

Thanks, guys! Thanks too for guiding me up back to my flat and to the front door.

Anyway, I was identified as a "drunken prawn" in the mailing list the very next day. No thanks to the work of the evil friend who drove me back home.

The drunken prawn got home safely, thanks to all those who nursed him all the way back, although he attracted considerable attention from curious motorists wondering why he was topless, comatose and clutching a plastic bag.

When I left the party, I was looking alright and no way anyone would have thought I would be ill!

Thankfully, I didn't know that many people at the party. Ten, max.

And hopefully, not many remember my name! ;P

Hard love

Someone asked how come I am writing a lot of emo stuff now.

But if you look properly, it was only the last two posts!

I was going through some of the blogs on my links and found two which have a common theme - gay relationships and how it is different from straight ones and how they more often than not fail.

First of all, I understand where they are coming from. Either from their own experiences or observation of their gay friends, gay couples seems to be breaking quite often.

Or maybe, when one is unsure or insecure about their current relationships, they start to wonder. It is a very normal reaction and even I have it sometimes.

Questions like, will this last? Would he continue to love me ten years from now? Would his heart and mind start to wander?

What I personally disagree is the emphasis on differences of gay and straight relationships.

I don't see how the both are different, besides the obvious fact of the sexes. Just like a straight guy and a gay guy is only different in what turns them on sexually, the former being breasts and pussies and the latter penises.

A romantic relationship is a romantic relationship - a foundation and connection between two people to build and nurture. No two people are alike - two guys or one guy and one girl. Thus, no two relationships are alike.

In fact, a guy and a girl are waaaay more different in thinking. So logically, if a relationship were to work it should be two guys since well ... both of them are guys and should theoretically think more alike.

Okay-lar, unless you want to argue about how opposites attract, one soft and one hard, yin and yang, etc.

Or how two gays but very straight and Neantherdal-thinking guys who can't express their emotions properly and tend to pent up type cannot possibly together ....

Admittedly there are differences.

The breeders tend have a common goal - to propagate the human race by having children. If they don't have such a goal, rest assured that they will when they reach age thirty, thanks to busybody relatives or gossiping colleagues or friends.

We don't have a common goal, at least not one defined by marriage or children. We want someone for companionship, to be there when we are in need, to bitch and whine to, etc.

Of course, the society's support is important too. Notice how even people that the couple don't know, like their aunt's brother's son's cousin's friend, would suddenly turn up at their weddings and wish them congratulations.

It's like some people who are too free and only goal in life society's only role is to get every single men and women attached to someone and to attend weddings.

If one were to look at statistics, more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. And the divorce rate is increasing in Asian countries too.

So yeah, the straights don't have it better. They just break up much later.

I am sure you have heard of cheating husbands who walked out on their wives after twenty years of marriage and two children.

Which goes to show that straight relationships are just as bad. And children doesn't necessarily can make a marriage last.

The things that will make a relationship work are deeper and harder to work at. Like a common goal, shared dreams and similar interests.

I can't remember where I have read this, but an article says that for guys, doing things together (not just sex!) is important. They are better off and able keep the relationship alive longer. Guys bond by doing things, not just by communication and talking about emotional or personal stuff.

Which is very true. It doesn't matter if one likes to paint while the other likes to go clubbing, as long as there are a few things which both like to do and spend quality time together, like cooking or watching movies.

It's undeniable that gay relationships are harder to work at, simply because there is not much societal support and when many gay men and women are still in the closet.

It's very rare that one can bring the boyfriend home and say, "Mom and Dad, meet my boyfriend/husband/significant other, Channing Tatum."

No one to give you advice, no one to turn to, no one to ask how things should be done besides your other gay friends or close girl friends.

So basically, it is simply harder because the relationship has to be made stronger from within and from the both of them, rather than from the outside or from parents / friends / relatives / society.

It takes more work also harder simply because both are guys.

I am not saying men cannot be monogamous; it's a matter of willpower and discipline.

Furthermore, as there is a lack of external forces to bind a gay relationship together and usually it is only the internal parties that do most of the work, the ropes that bind two people together may break more easily.

Which goes back to the point of making the rope stronger and this needs lots of commitment and discipline from both parties.

This is not helped by the phenomenon of so-called popular gay culture - clubbing, youth-worshipping, easy sex, etc.

Not many supportive people + Temptations of instant gratification = Easier break-ups

Okay, I think I have veered off my point.

But essentially, a gay relationship needs more work. A gay relationship is not doomed just because it's a gay relationship.

Or maybe I am just an idealistic fool and refuse to face the truth. ;P

From my speaking with other people, they say that one cannot party and club and have dark-room sex forever. The time would come when they would want to settle down and desire the stability of a relationship.

So the question is, when is that time?

Also, long-lasting relationships tend to form when one is closer to thirties. Perhaps at that stage, one is more stable financially and emotionally and has a clearer idea of his needs and wants.

Obviously, there are exceptions. There are people who want to settle down and not fool around when they are only twenty.

In fact, I think many of us grew up with fairy tales of happily ever after and movies and serials on TV that we might prefer to find someone for a long term and stable relationship and forgo the sleeping around and easy sex.

There are many people who think like that. You just have to find them.

When they are found, it doesn't mean the search is over. You haven't arrive at the destination yet.

It's only the beginning. The journey to happiness and contentment is a long and hard one.

The beginning of the end

Thank you for the words of encouragement and support. It’s amazing how barely less than 24 hours of my posting that you guys have responded with your comments.

In fact, this eventuality was not unexpected. With his less than enthusiastic response to my calls and him never calling me save once, the end was in sight.

I suppose it was never meant to be and I was too in love with him to see that. Funny how one looks at things differently went one is in love. Nothing seems impossible.

The signs were all there.

Thus, when I called him a few days before my Phuket trip next month, we cleared things up. He made his feelings, or lack of, be known after some prompting from me.

He said, “Did you find someone new?”

“No, that’s not it. It’s better to clarify things than to leave them unclear.”

“Are we still a couple then?” I asked.

“Yeah. We’ll see how when I come back next year. We’ll talk about it then.”

It didn’t really make much sense, because we didn’t do anything that resembles a couple anymore.

I have no idea why, but I acquiesced.

Initially, I was hopeful that things would improve. But after some serious thought and a clearer perspective on things, I realised things would be better this way.

It wasn’t that difficult letting go, even though I loved him a lot. I still do.

No, I am not pining for him or clutching at straws.

When feelings are not reciprocated or when one’s efforts are not appreciated sufficiently, it does make things easier.

I am human after all. I do need love and care in return. It gets tiresome and frustrating if it only goes one way.

Not that I am blaming him, of course. This sort of things happen. I was his first crush, which turned into a relationship. And as we know, crushes very seldom last unless both parties work at it.

Anyway, when we started, we said that we were supposed to see how things go. To gauge our compatibility and our feelings for each other.

Somehow, somewhere, it turned into something serious.

We had frequently joked about how incompatible we are. About how things could be different if he had graduated from university. About how different we are, like the sky and the earth.

Perhaps we are too different.

It was great while it lasted. I hoped I had made him happy and felt loved, even though there were moments of anger and hurt.

Do not cry that it is over, but smile that it happened. ;P

Cliché, but very true in my situation.

No longer am I

I was asked recently, why I haven't mention a particular someone for a very long time in my blog.

In fact, I have been asked occasionally about it by friends who know us.

My reply was "Drawing a picture does not need one to draw the intestines too". It's a Chinese proverb, meaning that some things are just obvious and doesn't need an explanation.

Come to think of it, that sounded a bit sarcastic. I am sure he meant well when he asked.

Sorry.

Anyway, the reason he has not been mentioned is because no longer am I in his thoughts in the way I should be.

No longer am I being seen with eyes that long for me.

Hearing my voice no longer makes the heart beat faster. Or bring a smile to his face.

No longer am I an important part of his life.

It is no longer.

It's all about me

I know what I should be doing, yet I am not doing it. I should be studying but I am doing everything else besides studying.

Balance is key; moderation is the solution.

Somehow, there seem to be lots of things to be done. More fun stuff. Movies, clubbing, karaoke, shopping, swimming ....

Why do people get attracted to those that seem impossible to be with or that they have very little in common?

Perhaps it's what people call physical attraction. That wink, that cheeky smile, that infectious laugh, that nonchalant attitude, etc.

The things that matter fade into the background.

Perhaps I don't know what I want yet. I thought I do.

I have always thought of myself as confident and secure. But when I am with the person that I am fond of, it's hard to be like that.

Especially if the other person is more confident and more self-assured. More spontaneous, funnier. All the mores that I am not.

On the other hand, when I am with someone a little unsure, I tend to feel taller. Bigger. Not in the sense of showing off or swelling with pride, but more like brotherly kind of attention would be showered on him.

Like I have been there and done that. And now it is your turn and this is how it is going to be like.

I can simply be myself.

When I am in the presence of someone smarter, more experienced and more self-assured, I seem to be not able to hold my own.

As someone I know would describe it, in gay and somewhat stereotypical terms, I become somewhat "bottommy" when I am with so-called "toppish" personality type people and vice versa.

If that even makes sense to you.

Another thing is I am not one trained in the art of subtlety. People would know if I am happy or unhappy by just looking at me.

Or if I like someone.

I am just like an open book.

I realise it's something I have to work on.

Because sometimes, subtlety is called for. That restraint is essential. That people change and feelings are unpredictable.

That in the end, I am me and everything comes back to me.

Work in progress.

Adios ... for now

Lest you guys think that I am a regular clubber, I am actually not. Probably I haven't been to one for a long time, which was why I really let my hair down.

Anyway, pluboy bade his farewell to the Lion City earlier in the afternoon. Even though I had met him all of three times since I knew him for the past one and half years, it was still a pleasure for to have been able to spend his final weekend here in his company.

Even though, as you said, "I saw the shit out of me", it doesn't really matter to me.

In fact, I would rather see the worst of a person, than to never see the real person at all; someone who is always at his best or who never lets his guard down or who carefully plans his words and controls his actions and where superficiality and masks are the order of the day; I would rather have the former.

You will definitely be missed. It's too bad that I didn't get a chance to hang out with him more often.

Yesterday, all of his closest friends came to Marina Square, to be with him on his final night in Singapore. I was there too and got to meet his four other wonderful friends; all of them Malaysians.

Apparently, that Hong Kong char chan teng is one of his favourite places here. I agree that the food was quite good.

I was pretty tired, so I didn't talk much at the beginning. But later I perked up and joined in the ribbing and joking and teasing.

I really hope to get to know this group of people better. For this, I have pluboy to thank.

Wishing you all the best and a fresh start in KL. You are now back in a familiar place, with the person you love. That is something more precious, that money can never buy.

Happy times at Happy

As William said - Sakit, sakit, die, die, also nak clubbing, kan?

Yeah, even though I was sick (still am) and damn tired and sleepy last night, I still went out clubbing with pluboy and his friend, JN.

The plan was to meet them for dinner at 9 p.m. And we did have dinner at nine. We chatted over dinner, chatted after dinner, had our drinks, and it was still bloody early.

Like a quarter past ten.

So we went to JN's place to drink some more chill out. He lives very near to Tanjong Pagar Road, which is where the clubs are.

We watched Discovery Channel and Adventure and the Asian Amazing Race. The participants that caught my attention was one slightly feminine Indian guy with a Caucasian.

Their relationship category, as shown on TV? Best friends.

Pluboy said that the host, Allen Wu, is quite cute. Think he's a Singaporean.

Ooops, Google search states that he's American, but currently works with MediaCorp.

A little more than an hour later, we walked towards the clubs area. The choices for us queers were either Happy or Why Not.

Pluboy: Why Not lor.
JN: Why not Happy?

I had been to Happy last year. I wasn't too impressed then.

But last night, the crowds seemed to flock and gather at Happy. So Happy it was.

Cover charge was $15, with one free drink.

JN wanted to open a bottle of vodka. I was fine with it, so vodka it was.

Oh, forgot to mention that a friend of JN was with us now, JP.

The dance floor was not filled yet, as it was still early. There were quite a number of girls, more than one usually would find in a gay club. They looked like college age kids and a few of them were dancing with their guy friends.

To me, that seemed a bit odd. Just five or six of them on the dance floor.

Second thought was, did they go to the right club?

###############################

Not long later, three guys appeared on stage. In their underwear only.

Then another three came on stage, dressed in orange overalls ala construction workers.

The guys in undies stripped the guys in overalls.


This was followed by some strutting around, going backstage to change underwear and more strutting around.

The whole thing was basically about safe sex and HIV.

At the entrance earlier, we were given free condoms by AfA, under a new campaign called Think Again.

I don't think the message got through, as the eye candies got in the way ;P

The concept was good, but implementation was not as good.

Anyway, I liked the guy on the left; not too bulky and with a nice look.


Pluboy liked the one on the right.


After that, the dance floor began filling up and we joined in.

Pluboy took off his shirt, so did JN. Against my will, mine was off too.

The last time I did this was last year in Liquid, during the foam party.

Not sure whether it was because of the alcohol or simply the music was better, but the tunes seemed to be more danceable.

I might have spoken too soon, because soon after, the music deteriorated again. The music was mostly unknown (to me, at least. I might be wrong as they may be popular to the clubbing crowd).

Still, we danced the night away. The music picked up again and I danced liked I have never done before, gyrating, hip-shaking, bootying and just letting my hair down.

I had enough booze to get that buzz, so I was pretty uninhibited. And with the shirt out of the way, it felt like another level of inhibition was removed too.

Pluboy overloaded a little on the alcohol and was dancing to the tunes like someone possessed (I don't mean this in a bad way). He was really into it.

We grooved and moved to the music. I haven't done this since I came to Singapore and I was really enjoying myself.

We were drawing a little attention to ourselves because we were slightly inebriated and a little uneven in our foot steps. As a result, we took up more dance floor space than we usually would.

I could feel a few pairs of eyes on us.

Hmmm, I hope we didn't embarrass ourselves ;P

Oh well, it doesn't really matter.

We danced. And we danced some more.

After more than two hours of dancing, we left Happy and wanted to go to Why Not. But we didn't because we changed our mind and decided to head home instead.

I finally arrived home at five. Not sure why, but most probably the alcohol as my mind was in active mode and couldn't sleep much, if at all. So I decided to get out of bed at half past nine.

I had a little headache earlier, but I am OK now as I typed this.

Heh. I am so gonna pay for this lack-of-sleep at work tomorrow.

Edited: OMG! I just remembered something from last night. Someone took a picture of pluboy, JN and myself. We even posed for it. Wonder whether it would be published and where, or worse still, someone's private collection ...

Christmas came early

Went out for dinner with a friend at Orchard Road on Wednesday.

And saw that the decorations are already up.




Maybe it's just me, but isn't a little too early for Christmas? It's the year end and I think for a lot of companies, this period is packed with year end closing of accounts, audits and organising year-end promotions and events ... so where got time to feel all Christmasy?

I was definitely not in the mood.

From what I see in the papers, I believe the major shopping malls have already put up their Christmas decorations.

One credit card company has been advertising Christmas promos and sales since last month, saying that Christmas comes early this year.

Honestly, it was kind of a surprise that it is almost end of 2006. Where did all the time go? It has been more than six months since I came here but it only seem like yesterday that I was still in KL.

The day before, my manager who is leaving for Taiwan gave us a box of chocolates. He's not only a good manager who is willing to explain things to me, but really generous as well.


On one hand, I am happy for him as it is a better job opportunity for him. On the other, I would definitely miss him as he was the most happening person in my department!

The bad news is that I am down with the flu since yesterday *sniffle* And I have so many things planned this weekend!

Hope you guys have a better start to the weekend than I do.

Office pornitics 2

During lunch, my colleagues and I were teasing a female manager about her partying, even though she is married.

She denied that she parties, just going out with friends.

I chipped in by saying that I will be going out this weekend clubbing, but do not know where my friend is bringing me to. (Actually, I do know, but it is a gay club, right Takeshi?)

Female Manager: You should go on Fridays, when the crowd is more of the working group of people.
Me: I don't really mind, just go out and to have fun only mar.
Straight Boss: What kind of crowd you like? Older (women), younger, or men?

I was like "Huh? WTF?" and then wanted to say "Men" but of course I didn't.

Me: All three.

There was like, half a second silence at the table.

Me: Of course lar. I want to keep my options open.

And they all laughed. A little uncomfortably, I think.

I know I am quite reckless. Just hope this doesn't come back one day and bite me in the ass. ;P

For some context, please read here.

Phuket Day 4

Sunday, 29 October 2006

On the last day, I signed up for the Phi Phi island trip, which was made famous by Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie The Beach.

We were told that the pickup to the pier would arrive at half past eight. Breakfast is usually served at eight, so the timing was just nice.

But unfortunately, the driver arrived at eight. We wanted to have a quick one for breakfast, but he was impatient and insisted that we leave immediately.

So we didn’t have any breakfast.

That wasn’t the worst part. When we arrived at the pier, we had to wait an hour for the Singaporeans and Hong Kongers to arrive, which presumably their pickup was as scheduled at 8.30 a.m.

Anyway, we left the pier at about half past nine. The speedboat ride to Phi Phi was an hour. It wasn’t a smooth ride and we were bouncing on hour seats most of the time. Whenever we hit a wave, someone in the boat would scream.

That was fun.

As one of them said, “A bunch of screaming queens.” It was not meant as an insult.

Phi Phi island consists of two islands, one bigger than the other. The first stop was smaller one. We didn’t step foot on the beach, as we had to pay an additional 200 baht to do so. Thus we snorkeled about 500 meters from beach.

Green hills on the first beach we went to

The water was crystal clear, with fishes so colourful they looked as though they were hand-painted with striking colours. We spent about half an hour here.

Next, we went to another beach, which was just as beautiful but there were less fishes. Probably there is not enough food, thus less fishes, which explained why some of us including myself were bitten by the fishes! It wasn’t very painful, but still, we are not fish food!

Scenic and idyllic

The subsequent stop was Monkey Island, where we had the opportunity to feed the monkeys with bananas. We didn’t need to peel the bananas for them and some of them astutely grabbed the bananas right from our hands!

I had a picture taken standing very close to one. I was a bit jittery doing so, as we were told by the guide that they could turn aggressive, especially if our backs are turned to them.

This was followed by lunch. We had international cuisine buffet. Seriously, I don’t think I had any authentic Thai food since I came here. A lot of things are catered for the Western tourists.

After lunch, we hanged around a bit, with most of the Singaporeans and HK people playing beach volleyball.

Our last stop for the day was the bigger island. I snorkeled while most of the others played beach volleyball.

The water is clear and clean, with the fishes clearly seen. The brain corals and

Random cute guy whom I noticed, with his girlfriend

Two of the HK guys actually swam around the island and had the opportunity to see more amazing fishes and corals. Apparently, the marine life on the other side of the island was even more interesting and mesmerizing.

Oh well. At least I know what to do the next time I come to Phi Phi again. Which I think I most probably will.

When we arrived back in Phuket, it was supposed to be time for the tele-matches. I was pretty tired from the island trip and decided to give it a miss.

Back at the Phuket pier

Based on a recommendation from the owner of the hotel, I headed for a massage. This time an authentic one, without the hanky-panky.

The masseuses were all sitting in front of the shop. When I said that I wanted a traditional Thai massage, they immediately pointed to one person. I asked is she good and they replied, “Number one.”

With that, I was convinced.

I was pestered into signing up for a two hour massage, as she kept insisting that an hour was not enough. I actually preferred one and a half hour, but the price was ridiculously unreasonable.

She said an hour was 250 baht, one and a half was 450 baht and two hours was 500 baht.

Finally, I agreed to a two hour massage.

It was a two hour well spent, with all the creaks and stiffness massaged away. There was some aches and pains when she pressed at some points, but I think those were the good pain. She was good; she knew I had walked a lot that day from massaging my lower legs and that I face a computer screen at work from massaging my shoulders.

Or maybe it wasn’t that difficult to arrive at those conclusions simply by looking at me. They are after all the most common profile of a tourist.

For such a good job, I tipped her 100 baht.

It was a little past seven when I went left the massage parlour. I had to rush back to the hotel for dinner at half past seven.

Took a quick shower and had a half-glass of red wine and Patrick, one of the Thais took us to a restaurant only the locals know.

It is one of those places with extremely good and cheap food where tourists wouldn’t know, unless you know a local.

We had seafood – crabs, prawns, fish – and they were very fresh. I was too hungry that I forgot to take photos of the dishes. ;P

More pictures here.

Phuket Day 3

I can't believe how hetero my colleagues are.

It's quite difficult to have to pretend to be straight and not able to share my social life with them. Which is why a group of gay friends are essential.

They are the ones who understand what it means to be gay.

Since I came back, I felt quite uncomfortable being around them. When just a couple of days ago, I can be totally open and be myself but in front of them, I can't.

Sometimes, it's feels suffocating.

Saturday, 28 October 2006

The game for the day is badminton. Before it started, there was a friendly volleyball match between Malaysia and Hong Kong.

With none of us being good volleyball players, save one, we had to form a rag-tag team. Even though we lost, they put up a good fight against the Hong Kongers.

The Hong Kongers weren't that much better, but I suppose they have been training or at the least, played the game more often than the Malaysians.

As for badminton, sad to say that even though Malaysia was the defending champion, the performance was far from excellent. I am not sure how many rounds were played, but the ones that I watched or those that I was the linesman, the Malaysia players were beaten.

Thus, Malaysia went home empty-handed this year.

The closing ceremony was to be held at the place on top of the hill called Ratri. Looks damn posh and nice. It's a restaurant and bar with live performance every night.

What all these means is basically expensive prices for drinks. A Chang beer costs 1200 baht, which although cheap in KL, is not so in Phuket.

Dinner was good, buffet-style, but there wasn't enough to go around. There was some Thai food served, one of which was noodles wrapped in leaves. That was quite yummy.

As with previous years, TSG always ends with performances from participating countries. Usually, they are drag performances and this year was not different.

I have the pictures, but I am still undecided whether I should post them up or not.

The HK drag queens performed first. It was not so much as a drag show then a hunk show. Their performance was to get someone from each country to play three games, ala those HK variety shows like Super.

Before the games began, the non-drag HK players themselves demonstrated how the games are to be played. They stripped into their underwear to play. Honestly, it wasn't really necessary but I wouldn't complain of the free eye candy.

For me though, only one of them was appealing to me, out of four.

So yeah, it became more of a hunk than drag show.

Next up was the Malaysian one. Ours was better because of it's simplicity. And I am not being biased here.

The Malaysian performers were dressed only in sarong. They pranced, danced and jiggled their way to classic Malay songs like Burung Kakaktua. Less pretentious but definitely more fun. Imagine those songs you grew up with being torn to pieces and remade into something seductive and totally salah.

I had a few pictures taken, but they aren't very clear. So there won't be any pictures posted on the drag queens.

However, I shall leave you with some pictures taken in the morning while I was strolling along Patong Beach.







Too lazy to post all of them up here, so please check out the rest at Flickr.

End of Phuket Day 2

I think what makes a trip wonderful, besides the place itself and culture, is the people you go with. I had a lot of fun just chatting about everything and nothing with the Malaysians and Singaporeans.

Especially one Singaporean ;P

I miss being openly affectionate in public, where I can lie on my friend's thigh or on his back or letting my inner queen out. I can never do that in front of my straight-laced colleagues.

Everyone felt the same too. Which partly explained why Malaysia and Singapore weren't that keen to organise next year's TSG. The openness and environment factor was one drawback. Hong Kong is out due to the cost factor.

For next year, the TSG organisers said they will try to get Australians and Kiwis to participate too.


Friday, 27 October 2006

And yeah, I did come.

Being the gentleman that I am (ahem!), I offered to return the favour. Earlier, I had asked whether the customer before me made him come or not and he said no.

Anyway, he stopped me from proceeding further and said "Cannot. Must go back to sleep." (They are referring to their cocks. And it was not the first time I heard Thais said it in such a way. Pretty cute way of saying it, I think ;P)

By the way, I paid 400 baht for the massage and I tipped the masseur 100.

For my other two friends, their experience were even better as their masseurs were bolder. One of them had his hand placed on the masseur's crotch and the other guy's masseur stripped naked totally and was hard all the time.

But both of my friends had their underwear on and didn't have a "happy ending", as they rejected for reasons of their own.

After that, we had dinner as we had made bookings to watch Simon's Cabaret at 9.30 p.m. This is quite a famous cabaret show and was recommended by a friend, so we decided to check it out.

It was quite an entertaining show, very flashy and well-coordinated. It was fun, but was quite short at 70 minutes. I paid 600 baht for it.

The sets were quite good and it changed from one to another almost immediately. This caused the whole performance to seem rushed, with not much of a breather between acts. As soon as the curtain fell, it was up again with the next performance all ready.

I didn't bring my camera, as I thought one can't bring it to live performances. Unfortunately, quite a few of the audience did. I made do with my Sony Ericsson K750 camera and snapped these.

Those that seemed over-exposed is because the pictures coincided with the flashes from the other cameras.

Although the she was lip-synching to a Mandarin song, she did it so well that it really looked like she was singing it.

More dancers came on stage later. Very Chinese performance. I was impressed!

Upbeat performance and dance to the song Havana.

They were singing and dancing to a Korean song.

I liked this a lot. It was a Chinese song called Mei Hua (Beautiful Flowers) and they performed in the dark with those fluorescent umbrellas with flower shapes.

For the finale of this performance, the large petals just appeared out of nowhere! Amazing!

A Tina Turner impersonator! But she was extremely good! She's simply the best!

Indian-themed, I think.

I don't know who which singer she trying to imitate.

Egyptian theme also got!

They were singing a song about Cleopatra.

This was supposed to be Brazillian.

End of the show.

The boys weren't that cute, even though they were slightly better looking than those working at the bars.

My friend commented that the cabaret show in Chiangmai was much better. Have to keep that in mind if I go there one day.

After that, we went for a supper and then retired for the night. As it is, I swam quite a bit in the morning and was feeling tired. And I was a bit pissed that I was offered unsolicited advice on how to swim properly.

The plan for tomorrow morning was to check out the beach, which I haven't done so. It would be so embarrassing to tell people that I haven't been to the beach after two days in Phuket! They would surely be wondering what have I been up to all these while.

Before I forget, Singaporean Team B emerged as champions for the volleyball competition. The Thais got second and third places.

Almost all of the cute participants play volleyball. I would so take up volleyball just to be able to get closer to them ;P

So shameless hor?

Inebriated

I am so drunk now that I can't possibly write a proper sentence, what more a full post, as I just got back from a drinking session with my boss who is going to leave the company at the end of this week.

But I can admit to having a good time at the end of the massage ;P

More details in my next post.

Phuket Day 2

Aaargh! It's so frustrating to be NOT able to share my experiences at Phuket with my colleagues.

I was back at work today and the first thing they noticed was my new haircut. Fine.

Actually, I was hoping that they would comment about the dark tanned sexy nice tan that I have ... but oh well.

The questions asked were like who did you go with, what did you do, what did you see, etc.

And the most annoying part was that I can't answer with - I went with a bunch of gay people and some of them were such divas that it was so much fun to be around them and this was one of the best trips ever with my first visit to a gay massage while being surrounded with so many hunks and cuties from Malaysia, Hong Kong and Singapore.

Sigh ...

My brain was still on holiday mood and I was thinking as I sat in front of my PC, "Just two days ago I was snorkelling with colourful fishes and frolicking on a white sandy beaches with wonderful people and now I am back in the office."

This is my second trip outstation trip and first international one with LPG. It is so much different going with a bunch of queens and like-minded people than with straight friends. We can go crazy, act all gay (which doesn't necessarily mean soft or feminine traits), make crude gay jokes and simply let our hair down without fear.

I miss the warm and friendly Thai people. For your info, TSG 2007 is going to be held in Phuket again, as it is the ONLY place where participants can really be themselves and play with make-up on the volleyball courts and drag openly in clubs and discos!

Friday, 27 October 2006

The day's events were the volleyball matches. Malaysia didn't send a team this time as they couldn't form a team in time.

Volleyball was the sport with the most participants. I think each country sent at least two teams. With the competition format being round robin, it lasted almost an entire day and it ended about 10.30 pm.

The Malaysian delegates were there to watch, but we left at about three.

As the games were held at a country club, those who were not playing were either swimming, gymming or playing table tennis.

I only watched the games for a while and spend most of the time swimming or chatting with the other Malaysian delegates.

We arrived back at the hotel and got ready to do some sightseeing and shopping. There weren't that many stuff to buy that were reasonably priced. This was because we were at the Patong area where most of the ang mohs are inclined to stay. Thus, things are more on the expensive side.

Besides, there weren't that many stuff that was uniquely Thai. Most things were imitation T-shirts, bags, clothes, wallets, etc. There were some handicrafts, but they weren't cheap. It was obvious that they were tourists traps.

After walking around for a bit, a few of us decided to go for a massage. Okay, this is kinda embarrassing, but it was my first massage ever, gay or straight.

Anyway, I opted for the oil massage. I showered and removed all of my clothing and proceeded to the designated room.

In the room, my masseur took off his clothes. I wasn't looking at him as I was lying on my stomach and I actually thought he stripped off completely. In actual fact, Tong (that was his name) was only stripped to his black underwear.

He started massaging with left leg and moved on to my right. We were making small talk like asking him about where is he from (Bangkok), how old was he (twenty) and how long has he been working there (7 months).

When he was doing my lower back, he suddenly asked whether I was hard. I was a bit taken aback but I said no.

He found out about me being Malaysian but working in Singapore, how old I am (he thought I looked younger), about my availability, etc.

In turn, I found out he was still single, boyfriend-less and girlfriend-less.

I was told that in Phuket, it's quite OK to ask them whether they are straight or gay. In this sense, they are way ahead of us in terms of openness and acceptance!

When it was time to do my front, as in lying on my back, I got hard almost immediately! I think it was a mixture of shyness and arousal.

He smiled and continued massaging. I turned flacid again.

As he moved upwards from my legs and massaged very near my groin area, I got turned on again. I supposed that was only natural.

A while later, he was massaging my scrotum. And there were occasional touches on my penis ...

He didn't massaged much of my upper body. Just for like five minutes and then he asked, "You want to cum?"

I was like, "Huh? You are finished with the massage already?"