Thursday, September 25, 2008

Tien ba ba

Clay Aiken is gay. Like it's damn big news, as most of us would have known since he became famous on American Idol.

Simon Cowell said it best.
The "American Idol" judge reacted in typically sarcastic form, telling the entertainment news show "Extra": "Wow. That's a shock. It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real. Unbelievable."

Taken from Newsweek:
Aiken's coming out was met with widespread applause—GLAAD was among the first to congratulate him this morning.

But why should Aiken deserve to be praised for coming out at the age of 29? You could say that a person's sexuality is nobody's business. But unlike other gay celebrities who have come out recently, like Neil Patrick Harris or Lance Bass, Aiken denied that he was gay long beyond the point of ridiculousness, and he did it in a way that bordered on homophobic.

When the Advocate asked him if he was gay during an "American Idol" press conference, he simply turned the other way, as if he never heard the question. In 2006, a sexually suggestive video of Aiken leaked from a gay dating Web site, but that same year, he gave a big interview to People where he implied he was straight. He even offered a cover-up for the video: it wasn't him, it was just somebody who looked exactly like him.

But to me, this is the best words ever said, written on
I wish we lived in a world where Aiken's announcement wasn't considered brave, but rather mundane. I wish we lived in a world where the only message-board debates about Mr. Aiken involved the quality (or lack thereof) of his music, rather than what pronouns he selects when he's singing a love song.

I don't know whether I should punch him for coming out only now or to applaud him for finally doing it. Though I do admit that he is doing it because of son is kind of admirable.

Other interesting news. Last Sunday, after dinner at Suntec, my friends and I saw a young guy (probably in his late teens) with someone much older, who could have been his father. The older person has a few streaks of white hair.

Nothing interesting about that, except that they were holding hands.

Nothing exceptional about that either. I mean there is nothing wrong with a father and his son holding hands, right?

Except maybe the way they held hands. Hand in hand, with fingers interlocked.

Now, that's something, isn't it?

And what's more, just as I was looking at them, the teenager let go of the other guy's hand.

Coincidence or something more?

I may be reading too much into it and I may be wrong, but who would hold their dad's hand in such a way? The most intimate is probably a clasp.

Daddy? Or sugar daddy?

P/S The title means "sweet daddy" in Mandarin, which sounds better than tang ba ba (sugar daddy). It is a literal translation. I don't know what is the correct term. Please let me know if you do.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Most cherished person

Last week, my colleague was pouring her complaints out about her husband. How he demands that she cooks, cleans, irons and does all the chores while he does not lift a finger. How his wishes and needs supersedes hers.

I could understand where she is coming from. The MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig) strikes again.

I blurted, yeah straight men and rolled my eyes.

Then she retorted and said, "What? Who knows, you might be an MCP too to your darling."

Now, as modest as I am (ahem!), I know that I am not an MCP. I treat Nyk well. Yes, there are disagreements and hurtful words spoken, but it is and will be never my intention to hurt his feelings. And he knows that too.

In fact, I do my best to make him feel loved, appreciated and taken care of.

Coincidentally, just a few days ago, he was upset because he thought I was pressuring him to spend time with me. This was actually not what I meant. I had wanted him to take a couple of days off, but he is not sure of his work schedule yet.

Of course, I understand his predicament and said well, it's fine. But if possible, do take leave so that we could spend time together.

My sweet dear felt pressured because he thought too much. On one hand he badly wants to spend time with me and on the other, there are other factors involved. He felt as if he was being pulled in different directions.

For that, I apologised to him. I really do understand his situation.

If I am an MCP, let me be the most cherished person instead.

Remember that you are never pressured to do anything, OK?

Monday, September 15, 2008

The rule of law - Section 377A Pt II

Due to the article published on Monday, the gay debate continued on Tuesday and Wednesday.

A letter from the conservatives:
What’s next? Same sex marriages?
Anton Chan
Mr Ho Kwon Ping is wrong to propose the acceptance of gays into Singapore society because accepting a gay lifestyle would have a tremendous impact on society as a whole in terms of religious beliefs, social well-being and families.

As a Christian, I oppose legalising a gay lifestyle in Singapore because it’s against my beliefs. As a father of three teenagers, I care because I don’t want my children to be affected by such a lifestyle.

Imagine if we allow the acceptance of such a lifestyle in Singapore. What next? Legalise same sex marriages? Legalise adoption of children for gays?

Where are we as a socially-conservative society heading towards?

Soon gays will claim the right for social acceptance in all areas including education, welfare et cetera. What effect will this have on the next generation of children and parents who wish that their children will grow up normally and produce children in the normal course of their being?

The only strong contention in Mr Ho’s proposal is the so-called gay leading edge in the “creative class”. Doesn’t our society have many other people to develop and nurture? Why are we so eager to promote creative class talent in Singapore? So that we can become a more tolerant society to accept whatever lifestyle these bring? Definitely no.

I would like to borrow a similar argument by Attorney-General Walter Woon regarding the Human Organ Transplant Act (Hota). In “None above the law” (Sept 8), he said: “If Dr Lee (Wei Ling) disagrees with Hota, she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the Hota and the Oaths and Declarations Act, they remain the law of Singapore.”

If anyone disagrees with the law for gays as enacted by Parliament, he/she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the law of Singapore for gays, it remains the law of Singapore.

What irks me most is when people start of their argument with "As a Christian, I oppose ...". How come they never say "As a thinking Christian" or "As a logical and rational adult"?

Because they don't think and they're not logical. If they do, they would realise how stupid and flawed their arguments are. It is as if being of a certain religion precludes the usage of the cerebrum.

When a person claims to be a Christian, it is implicitly saying that they are just taking the Bible word for word, no questions asked. More than 10 years of education down the drain.

If someone were to follow the Bible to the word, then why doesn't he ask for laws to make an offense for adultery? Why not push for and make it a punishable offense for anyone who works on Sunday?

Why not impose one's beliefs on everyone else? Because apparently, there is no such thing as live and let live in the minds of the narrow-minded religious. It is "I am right and they are wrong" kind of mentality.

Of course, I am only referring to those so called "educated" people who can't think for themselves. There are pastors and Christians who believed that everyone is God's creation and each of us deserves happiness, freedom and love. But unfortunately the latter number less than the former.

In addition, the writer totally went off tangent and did not rebut from the rule of law perspective.

I am not sure why I keep giving blogspace to these kind of letters. Sigh.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

The rule of law - Section 377A

Here I am back in Singapore after a short weekend back in KL. It was quite a memorable one as I get to spend some time with Nyk.

We visited the KLCC Aquaria. I felt it was a bit small as compared to the Singapore one. One could go through the whole place in less than 40 minutes, including time to read the information of the various fishes and reptiles.

On the plus side, the animals look healthier and better taken care of, than those that are in the Singapore's Underwater World.

Anyway, my colleague in Singapore was pretty excited about an article on 377A (the one that criminalises gay sex). That article was written by chairman of Singapore Management University, executive chairman of Banyan Tree Holdings and chairman of MediaCorp.

So, it's not just anyone who wrote it, but someone quite important and credible. I am actually surprised that it got published.

The full article, titled Stop Making a Mockery of Rule of Law: Let's Accept Gays can be found here (thanks to TNT).

Basically, the article says that it is pointless to have something in spirit but not in practise. The Singapore government has publicly said that the law would not be enforced, but still be maintained in the Penal Code.

As the writer says, it's schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder categorised by hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thoughts/speech, disorganized or catatonic behavior, and apathy.

In other words, the rule of law is not being followed. The government is in a bind; they have no idea what to do. The government wants to appease the Christian right but at the same time wants to ensure that the gay community does not feel marginalised or leave the country.

Of course, the writer made a very good and coherent argument for the repeal of 377A. It is very true that "most Singaporeans (except, perhaps, the most fervently fundamentalist Christians or Muslims) don’t care that much about one way or the other; which the police, courts, and legal community would welcome simply to remove an archaic, Victorian-era statute; and finally, which the gay community would embrace as an important signal that their right to privacy — a fundamental human right — is considered to be more important than the right of anti-gay groups to proselytise about morality".

And of course, the fundamentalists would reply, which I would write on the next time.

Sunday, September 07, 2008


Here I am back in KL for the weekend. It has been quite a slow week for me at work, thus allowing me to leave work on time. Though busier weeks are expected end of the month, due to third quarter closing.

With me being able to get off work on time, I managed to go to a commercial gym for group exercises. Yes I know, I am in the remaining 10% of the community who do not frequent the gym.

Anyway, I had a go at pilates on Tuesday, gym ball on Wednesday and Bodystep on Thursday. The pilates class was not too bad, though I felt the instructor was a bit too quick and the whole session felt rushed.

The gym ball class was very good. I was with Lloyd and at the end of the class, I was aching all over. The good kind of post-workout pains. We worked on the abs, arms and shoulders. Even though there were no exercises targetting the legs, there were some effects felt too. I suppose it was due to the gym ball used, where the leg muscles were engaged to stabilised my body.

Bodystep was quite fun too, though there were a lot of jumping, hopping and complex choreography stepping involved. I reckon I didn't too bad on my first try.

The pace was fast and I don't think I got the right movements, in terms of how to step. As in the knee-bending, up-stepping and ankle-lifting had to be done correctly or else it would be quite bad for the knees and ankles. And I have less than strong knees and ankles.

I also attended the Bodypump and RPM classes too.

So now I have had a taste of what all the hype is all about. Some of my gym-going friends have mentioned all those group exercises in conversations and I have no idea what they were talking about.

Overall, those classes are quite fun and it does look like an enjoyable way to be healthy and shed some pounds. Definitely beats running on the treadmill at my condo's gym.

All of the classes above were made possible thanks to Nick's and Lloyd's free 1 week pass. Thanks, guys!