Queer Eye At the Straight Guy

One of the things that straight guys hate and find disgusting is to be looked at as a sex object. Especially if the looker was a guy.

Last month, my best friend, Vince called me from the gym after he worked out. He frequents Fitness First and usually goes after eight in the evening.

He was at Fitness First John Hancock. As most of you know, it's gay central.

The first thing he said was, "Yer, I think there’s a gay sicko in the gym watching me."

Clearly, he’s not very politically-correct.

I replied, "Please, how do you even know he’s gay? Did you ask him?"

"Nope. But I know-lar. You know what happened? I was taking my shower and you know they don't have proper doors for the stalls. They have a piece of plastic and you can’t possibly close the stall completely with that. Anyway, I was shampooing, with my head looking down and guess what I saw?"

"What? That your hair is falling off? Probably you should change your shampoo or ... "

“No, no, I looked through the space between the wall and plastic and saw that someone was sitting on the bench outside looking at me."

"So what?"

"He had a hard-on, that’s what."

"You know this because ... ?"

"He was only wrapped in a towel. Obviously I can notice that."

"Well, at least he was just looking. Not that he was touching himself or tried to enter your stall."

"Yeah, but still, what a sick guy. That’s not the worse part. After I came out from the shower, I dressed and he did the same thing. I left the locker room and I saw him leaving too. I was beginning to think that he wanted to follow me."

"Where are you now?"

"Still at the gym. At the reception counter. I want to wait till he leaves before I do, to make sure he is not following me."

"Well, good thinking. Has he left yet?"

"Nope. I don't think so. By the way, do you think I look gay?"

"Silly boy, you don’t look gay at all. *laughs* There isn’t even a universal gay look. It’s just that most gym-goers are gay. I mean, how many straight guys you know who goes to the gym to keep fit? Besides you, of course."

"You sure or not? I also noticed that a lot of people looked at me when I work out."

"Because you are cute mar. Perhaps next time I should go with you. Then I will be the one receiving all those stares. Which means you will be safe and can concentrate on your routine."

"Yeah, perhaps you should."

"So basically, you are OK? You are not severely traumatised or anything?"

"I am fine, but thinking about it, eee ... that was so, so ... disgusting."

"Well, glad that you are fine. Moving on, was that guy cute? He has a nice body?"

"No-lar, he looks creepy. Sicko as I said."

"Yeah, yeah, that's because you are biased as he peeked at you. But seriously was he cute?"

"Not cute at all. Almost 30. I think you even look better than him."

"Why, thank you."

"I think I better leave now. I can’t be waiting here all night. It’s 15 minutes already."

"Ok. Call me if there’s anything."

"Sure. I will call you when I reach home."

I know that the way we talk on the phone is a little couple-like. Even another friend said the same thing, when he heard me talking to Vince.

Let me reiterate that he is straight. And that him being cute has no bearing whatsoever that he is now my best friend.

Sigh, some gay people are just giving the rest of the community a bad name. I hope all my hard work making him gay-friendly has not been wasted.

Or probably not. He still goes to John Hancock, Central Perv. Of course, after I have told him to act indifferent and not to ever return any eye-contact to anyone.