Friday, August 05, 2005

Two degrees of separation

As opposed to six degrees.

It shouldn't be a surprise actually, in a city of less than two million people.

When I first joined my current organisation, I didn’t expect to know anyone with the same sexual orientation. Furthermore, I work in a building that houses only four departments; the other departments are all in the headquarters.

As luck would have it, I met someone last November, whose friend KL, works in my company. Unfortunately, KL spends most of his time in HQ.

Whenever he happens to be in my workplace, we will do lunch. Needless to say, we got kinda close. Not romantically, but platonically.

It is always nice to have a gay colleague whom you can tell anything and everything.

Recently, I got to know someone from the net, AC. I asked him which university he was from. Maybe it was my own doing, but I asked him whether he knows my colleague who also graduated from the same institution.

In a university, what are the chances of someone knowing that many people, especially someone from a totally different course? I also didn’t expect AC to be of the same age as my colleague.

It turned out that they do know each other. They were even housemates.

Today, I found out that my close friend HL and I have a mutual friend in my organisation. And she works in the headquarters also.

Before this, my gay and straight friends are delineated clearly. None of my straight friends know the gay ones and vice versa.

Not that I don't want to hang out together with everyone, regardless of sexual orientation.

For one thing, most of my friends are males. Even though my straight friends are OK with me, I don’t think they would be comfortable hanging out with my rainbow-coloured friends.

On the other hand, I don’t think my gay friends mind hanging out with the typical male human species. Though it would be kinda awkward. Conversations would have to be stifled and some issues have to be avoided.

Of course, not all straight guys are like that. Some are really cool with it and no topic is out-of-bounds for them. Like Vince.

OK, maybe graphic sexual antics in bed should be excluded. That would be really pushing it.

Besides, why would a gay person hang out with them if he has a much cooler gang of fabulous gay people?

If it is not obvious by now, I do not have any fag hags. Perhaps I should get a few. Then we could all hang out together.

But I digress.

The two being previously clearly segregated and now beginning to overlap, I feel somehow uneasy. Yet, excited.

To be out in the work place is a definite no-no. My colleagues are mostly dark-skinned, rather than fair-skinned. Not that bigotry itself discriminates. For all I know, all my colleagues could be homophobic.

Perhaps I am just unsure how to handle this.

Oh wait, *deep thinking* I don’t think there is anything to worry about.

If they haven’t been hanging out before, I don’t see why now they should, right?

Silly me. ;P

Though the idea of both groups of people, chilling at a café, talking about anything under the sun with no subject being a taboo, laughing at hetero and homo jokes, is indeed an attractive prospect.

Hold on a second. That is what an open and forward-looking society should be. Equality amongst all, regardless of race, religion, sex and sexual orientation.

I wonder when that will happen. If ever.

8 comments:

Chaichakri said...

The Klang Valley is not like New York, London or Hong Kong. It is only time that we will bump into people that we know in life

Similarly, it is not easy to come clean with all the people around us! Well, all the best! I hope you can always have friends who can always lend a hand.

Today, I met my first gay person, and I must say, it has somewhat open my eyes a little. You can read my thoughts at my blog.

Take care

Anonymous said...

So, I'm AC huh? :P cool!

weeshiong said...

Hanging out with straight guys isn't that bad. But if they are going to insist on talking about football and girls, surely we can indulge in a little talk about gay sex (perhaps fantasies involving David. Or Michael. Or David AND Michael)

Ahem. Perhaps a fag hag's really a better idea. Then you can talk about guys, like, ALL THE TIME

Derek said...

I installed Haloscan but then realised (too late) that it deleted all the previous comments.

Needless to say, I removed it.

Anyway, while Haloscan was running, there were two comments. One from Jay, another from Spot.

I shall post them below this comment.

Anonymous said...

Jay said:

Being gay, you really shouldn't be surprised by this anymore. In a city of millions, practically everyone I know in London has slept with someone else that I know (if not me). It's a tight little circle jerk, this world of ours. Another point - if there's one thing blogging has shown me, it's that straight people are a lot more accepting of gay people and what we do than we can imagine. Sure, they all shriek (or hide) when I post about cum popsicles, but I've never been flamed for it.

Posted 08.06.05 - 4:35 am

Derek said...

and Spot mooed that:

yes it's true. it's not as rare as you think. there are many straight people whose circle of friends include both gay and straight. i think age has a lot to do with ...well, a lot of things. older gay people who have both gay and straight friends in the same group tend to not make as big a deal about being gay as the younger ones do. sexuality actually does become a complete non-issue. i happen to be in 2 such circles and know of at least 2 others.

yes it's true. it's not as rare as you think. there are many straight people whose circle of friends include both gay and straight. i think age has a lot to do with ...well, a lot of things. older gay people who have both gay and straight friends in the same group tend to not make as big a deal about being gay as the younger ones do. sexuality actually does become a complete non-issue. i happen to be in 2 such circles and know of at least 2 others.

Posted 08.06.05 - 5:18 am

Derek said...

Kitjar: Yup, read you post on your first meet-up. Good for you!

I have left my comments at your blog.


AC: Yes, you are known as AC now. Glad you approve ;P


weeshiong: Whoa, exactly my thoughts (about David and Michael).

I agree totally. If it's just fag hags, we can also include Kaka and Smith and Lampard and Morientes and ....

Gosh, it turns out that I do know a few things about football. ;P


Jay: You don't have to tell everyone that you slept with half the gay population in London; we know that already!

Hmm, though I do not totally agree with you about straight people are a lot more accepting of gay people and what we do than we can imagine.

Virtually, maybe they don't mind, but in person, I have my doubts about it.


Spot: You have a point there. People do tend to mellow when they get older. *grin*

savante said...

It certainly sounds like a small circle jerk - but why the heck don't I know any of you guys?

Paul