Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Queer Eye At the Straight Guy

One of the things that straight guys hate and find disgusting is to be looked at as a sex object. Especially if the looker was a guy.

Last month, my best friend, Vince called me from the gym after he worked out. He frequents Fitness First and usually goes after eight in the evening.

He was at Fitness First John Hancock. As most of you know, it's gay central.

The first thing he said was, "Yer, I think there’s a gay sicko in the gym watching me."

Clearly, he’s not very politically-correct.

I replied, "Please, how do you even know he’s gay? Did you ask him?"

"Nope. But I know-lar. You know what happened? I was taking my shower and you know they don't have proper doors for the stalls. They have a piece of plastic and you can’t possibly close the stall completely with that. Anyway, I was shampooing, with my head looking down and guess what I saw?"

"What? That your hair is falling off? Probably you should change your shampoo or ... "

“No, no, I looked through the space between the wall and plastic and saw that someone was sitting on the bench outside looking at me."

"So what?"

"He had a hard-on, that’s what."

"You know this because ... ?"

"He was only wrapped in a towel. Obviously I can notice that."

"Well, at least he was just looking. Not that he was touching himself or tried to enter your stall."

"Yeah, but still, what a sick guy. That’s not the worse part. After I came out from the shower, I dressed and he did the same thing. I left the locker room and I saw him leaving too. I was beginning to think that he wanted to follow me."

"Where are you now?"

"Still at the gym. At the reception counter. I want to wait till he leaves before I do, to make sure he is not following me."

"Well, good thinking. Has he left yet?"

"Nope. I don't think so. By the way, do you think I look gay?"

"Silly boy, you don’t look gay at all. *laughs* There isn’t even a universal gay look. It’s just that most gym-goers are gay. I mean, how many straight guys you know who goes to the gym to keep fit? Besides you, of course."

"You sure or not? I also noticed that a lot of people looked at me when I work out."

"Because you are cute mar. Perhaps next time I should go with you. Then I will be the one receiving all those stares. Which means you will be safe and can concentrate on your routine."

"Yeah, perhaps you should."

"So basically, you are OK? You are not severely traumatised or anything?"

"I am fine, but thinking about it, eee ... that was so, so ... disgusting."

"Well, glad that you are fine. Moving on, was that guy cute? He has a nice body?"

"No-lar, he looks creepy. Sicko as I said."

"Yeah, yeah, that's because you are biased as he peeked at you. But seriously was he cute?"

"Not cute at all. Almost 30. I think you even look better than him."

"Why, thank you."

"I think I better leave now. I can’t be waiting here all night. It’s 15 minutes already."

"Ok. Call me if there’s anything."

"Sure. I will call you when I reach home."

I know that the way we talk on the phone is a little couple-like. Even another friend said the same thing, when he heard me talking to Vince.

Let me reiterate that he is straight. And that him being cute has no bearing whatsoever that he is now my best friend.

Sigh, some gay people are just giving the rest of the community a bad name. I hope all my hard work making him gay-friendly has not been wasted.

Or probably not. He still goes to John Hancock, Central Perv. Of course, after I have told him to act indifferent and not to ever return any eye-contact to anyone.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some gay people will also be very shy when they notice other people keep loking on him in the gym centre. At leas one of my friend is like that. But he is ok when i keep looking on him. He knew that i like to see him as he is my type. We are just frieng. Nothing happen on us

Chaichakri said...

Hi Derek,

Fitness First John Hancock seems to have the reputation of being the Klang Valley's gay watering hole.

But, it is also where I choose to work out, not because it is filled to the brim with gays, but it is closest to my house. Give me a choice, I would still prefer Axis, but the traffic jam along the Federal Highway is bad.

Yes, what Vince said has some truth. I have encountered these people before, especially a 30-something guy who seems to perpetually stare at me. Never once did I stared back of him.

And, when this guy is around, I will make sure, I change in the stalls, rather than the locker room.

Some weirdos also get the pleasure of you looking at them. E.g, this guy would tend to strip and change right in front of you. I once overhead this guy saying, 'Hey, forgot to bring extra underwear,' Who cares, what a weirdo!

Seriously, I don't think I am a cute guy, nor a hunk. But, to have a person make eye contact with you is TERRIBLE.

Hey, I am with Vince, why stare at me --- go and check out the gay guys!

Btw, Derek, there are no benches directly outside the shower stalls. The benches are near the lockers. Are you sure Vince said that?

Derek said...

Anonymous: Heh ... good thing your friend doesn't mind. At least you have a cute gym buddy to stare at!


Kitjar: Vince didn't actually say sitting, but in my mind when I wrote this post, that image came up.

I think he just said outside his stall.

Isn't there anyone to look at? No Lukas or Jesse lookalike? ;P

Jay said...

It also gets a bit embarrassing sometimes when I see the gay guys openly cruising each other in full view of everyone.

Some even guys come out of the gym sauna with hardons. Hardons!

Nugget said...

That's fascinating. Gay guys cruising each other openly in the gym.

I'm sure the straight crowd would notice such mating rituals.

They can't be THAT oblivious. I mean, we're talking hardons here.

What's their reaction to such behaviour? Derek? Jay?

weeshiong said...

Hmm.. was wondering about that remark on benches in front of the showers. Guess kitjar beat me to it.

Sounds like you're trying to keep your friend all to yourself. But what was he doing peeking through the curtain anyway? Tsk tsk... such behaviour from a straight guy.

Haven't experienced this but apparently a friend's friend had heard guys having sex in the next shower stall. Imagine how freaked out your Vince would be if he had to go through that!

ed said...

another close encounter with the salah(s). haven't been to john hancock, so cant vouch it's reputation here, but hey, a gym is gym. That's where all the abangs head north ! *wink* .. glad ur pal is still hitting the threadmill in the same gym ! he's indeed a trouper....


cheers,
ed

Derek said...

Jay: You, embarassed? Isn't that a first? ;P


Nugget: Straight guys can be very oblivious. Unless they were the ones being looked at, they really wouldn't know.

Heh ... to be straight and ignorant. ;P


weeshiong: I suppose he was peeking to make sure he wasn't being watched. Well, obviously his fears were not unfounded!

Oh yes, he would have freaked out if he heard two guys having sex.

He had a milder experience; another guy was beating off in the steam room and Vince was the only other person there. ;P


Ed: Yup, he is a trouper. Didn't know you are in KL at the moment.

wingedman said...

Beating off in the steam room?! Sex in the shower stalls?!

Fuck I should go during peak hours more often!!!

And yes, John Hancock is indeed gay central. Not just any gay central, CUTE hunky gay central. Being cruised there is like the ultimate affirmation.

Chaichakri said...

Hey, how come the cute guys don't do the cruising. It is always the weirdos that do the staring!

Wingedaen, we work out in he same gym too, what a coincidence ........

Actually, with all this brouhaha over FFJH, I think, I am going to work out more in Axis or BU, but shucks, FFJH is the nearest to my house.

Wingedman, all i have to do now is to look out for a cute size M pilot....... :)

Anonymous said...

Paul said:

You know what, I think it's time to go for a shower at Fitness First :) Paul


Posted 08.06.05 - 12:03 pm

Chaichakri said...

Hi folks at Derek's blog,

I just updated my blog on FFJH. Hey, drop by to see some poersonal zany antics i witnessed at FFJH

hey, I guess, FFJH should pay me to recruit gay members for them..... hee hee!