Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Weekend conversations

Last Saturday afternoon.

Mom: I want to talk to you about something.
Me : What is it this time?
Mom: You shouldn’t get too attached to someone. Doesn’t matter it’s a boy or girl. When you’re not together anymore, the other person will think back of all the things he has done for you. How are you going to repay him?
Me : Huh? What are you saying?
Mom: You always telling CF all the things you do, calling him on the phone, saying I miss you and all. You don’t know what he’s thinking. Later, he might think back of all the things he has done for you and then you can’t even be friends.

I know she’s getting at something here. It’s either:
a) I shouldn’t be going out with CF
b) I shouldn’t be misleading him into thinking that I like him

I didn’t probe further or ask her to go straight to the point because I know that would only upset her. I let her do all the talking and I left the room immediately after she finished.


Sunday afternoon.

Mom: You always go out with CF, who’s much younger. Always hang around with immature people, you also become immature. What do you two talk about?
Me: Of course there is. We talked ….
Mom: Some more he’s still studying and you’re working … what topics do you talk about with him …?
Me: (rolling my eyes) We do …
Mom: What do you two have in common?
Me: So where are we going for dinner later?

I had to change the subject because she was in a ranting mood, and I was not in the mood to give reassuring or convincing answers.

In addition, I have a niggling feeling that she is supportive of me working abroad so that I would be away from CF. Though it is just a suspicion ….

Anyway, the interview went quite well. But I have yet to hear from the company. So we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed ...


Anonymous said...

Somebody should tell your mum about the scene or non scene in Singaybore.


Musang said...


mine is one big manipulator. you should be grateful you didn't got mine...


MrBunnyBan said...

Okayyy, she knows. Great.

Eyep, she's ranting, not in the disscusion mood. Good call. I wished she was actually willing to discuss with you, adult to adult. She's cutting herself off from you this way. :(

Good about the job...I think. Hmmm, long distance... But then isn't CF leaving to further his studies too, eventually? ^^

Waiiit...*looks again at blog* You're calling him Chris now. :)

Jay said...

-sigh- it looks like coming out doesn't solve ALL the problems.

It's good that you're so patient with your mom. Me, I cannot - I can't seem to stop myself from getting mad. And then my cibai mouth gets me into a lot of trouble. And then my mom sulks.

hrugaar said...

Glad the interview went okay. Am I right that it's not actually for an overseas job straight away, but it would improve your chances of working overseas in future? Or am I confused there? :o\

Hey, CF isn't *that* much younger than you, for goodness sake! It's not like you're dating a 16 year old or something! Geez.

And why is it that people assume that if one person moves away to work (another town or another country) their partner won't try to move with them? Or that relationships can't endure some periods of separation? Is everyone assumed to be totally spineless? (Sorry, feel a rant coming on here ... grrrrraaarrrr!)

Derek said...

ryan: Ryan dear, I am sure that is not necessary.

And I am there for the work, damnit!

musang: I think all moms just want to protect their children and want the best for them, at whatever cost. ;P

mrbunnyban: Yes, CF is going abroad to study as well. He realised that it's unfair for me too ... but we're both cool about it now.

jay: Unfortunately, it doesn't. How I wish it would ...

But deep down, after all the shouting and sulking, you both still love each other. That's what matters, isn't it?

hrugaar: You got it right, hrugaar dear. It's an overseas job and at the same time, improve my chances working farther abroad.

CF isn't much younger, but he sure looks that way. LOL

hrugaar said...

Well actually, I suppose both doing an overseas stint at the same time - your new job (if you get it) and CF studying - could be quite good timing. Much better than you going abroad in a couple of years time, just after he gets home again! :o)

savante said...

I could give you the romantic view of life but I can actually see your mother's practical slant. It isn't going to be easy and she knows it. There's truth in her words but it's up to you whether to take it to heart or not.


Anonymous said...

Your mom's just worried about you being gay. And rightly so

Shigeki said...

Your mom is kinda interesting. but you are not dating a three year old boy, right? There are things you could talk about and things in common. But the differences make our lives more interesting too. Go with what your heart tells ya!

bluedream said...

love reading ur blog...ur post reminds me of justing and his mom during the first seasons.....hopefully everything would turn out to be just like the series... :)

hrugaar said...

Paul, yeah, life is seldom easy, and overcoming the practicalities can be a bitch even in day-to-day living.

So Derek, yes, your mom raises some valid questions. Whether you want to discuss them with her or not, you do need to look at possible drawbacks head-on and think about how (or if) you're going to deal with them. Courage in the face of known adversity is romantic ... blind faith I wouldn't really recommend. :oD

But you probably know all this already, sorry. :o\

Derek said...

hrugaar: Well, you have a very good point. The four years that he's going to be in Canada, I can be in Singapore!

savante: So you think CF is too young for me? ;P

anonymous: I know she's worried. And with good reasons. But I think being gay is not something to be overly worried about.

shigeki: Thanks for the support, all the way from Tokyo!

bluedream: Welcome to my blog, bluedream. I am really glad that you like it.

Awww ... comparing me with Justin pulak! How sweet! And thanks.

hrugaar: Heh. Go ahead and voice what you think, it shouldn't matter whether I know it or not.

So the valid questions are: 1) difference in interest and 2) long distance relationship.

CF and I have actually talked about it and it's something that we have to really work hard at to keep the relationship going. We both know that it's not going to be easy.

hrugaar said...

Good. :o) Recognising a problem is the first step toward dealing with it. Wish you both the very best. *hugs*