Monday, June 27, 2005

It's the people that matter

The gay ones
On this trip, I became close to LP since we shared the same room. And bed.

Anyway, LP is just coming to terms with his sexuality. He has never given much thought about it, even though he has tried to deny and ignore the fact. Fortunately, he found out about a support group in Singapore, Oogachaga (name inspired by the dancing baby in Ally McBeal), where he got to know of other people and they share their experiences.

At the risk of sounding like I love my own voice a lot (not that I don't), I shared my own coming out experience, followed by a question and answer session. Not that I know a lot, but I tried to answer his questions and told him whatever that I could based on my experience.

He confessed that this was his first time too. As in, first time in telling so much to another person he barely knew.

I was of course honoured that he was comfortable enough to do so.

One thing that I really like about him is that he is a good listener. It's very hard to find someone like that. It's not easy listening without thinking ahead of what you want to say or the mind wandering. This is due to the fact we think very much faster than we can speak.

Before we parted, he gave me a postcard. That was really sweet of him. With what he has written, I could have fallen for him.

Another person whom I found interesting is CH, the doctor. Of course, the job itself is a source of some good-natured teasing. 'Yes, doc. If you say so, doc.'

I didn't expect him to read my blog. I thought he would have just read my coming out, as I have posted the link in the LPG yahoogroups. He has read that and he praised me for my courage for coming out.

And he also said that I have a kind and sensitive soul. In addition, I write well. And other lavish praises.

Now, who wouldn’t melt with words like that? No wonder he is a doctor. After all, his job is to make people feel better. I am pretty sure there is a long queue of nurses at his door.

Also, CH is very much an activist in his own way. He is smart, funny, strong (he carried his own 11kg backpack up and down the mountain – not an easy feat that). And very pro-gay and equal rights and involved in the gay community.

Here's a thought. If I were to bring him home to meet mom, she would definitely approve.

Moreover, people generally listen to what the doctor says, don't they? If he were to say to mom, 'Your son is suffering from a critical lack of romantic love and companionship. And you are looking at the cure itself.'

I am pretty sure she would squeal with delight. LOL.

Last but not least, there is SS. As I was the youngest in the group, he was kinda like the big brother to me. Oh, and we had a lot of fun flirting and taking the mickey out of each other.

He is really helpful and generous. Why, he even send me back home from the airport. I am really grateful for all that he has done for me on this trip.

The straight ones
There were two straight guys in our group. And no, they are not closet gays or bisexuals.

Actually, I have difficulty understanding why straight people would want to join a gay group outing. Perhaps I am discriminating and generalising the straight population of being close-minded and homophobic. I mean, if I were straight, I don’t think I would do the same.

Still, I am glad that the two straight guys joined us. Or at least, one of them, KS, did. He got along well with everyone, even made jokes and laughed with us when we indulged in our colourful conservations and favourite pastime of guy-watching. Probably it helped that he has a female hairdresser friend and he knows other gay people through her.

Now, that is one rare and definitely in my good books kind of straight guy.

I am not one to usually bad-mouthed other people, but I think almost all of us were uncomfortable with the other person, who happens to be straight.

I don't think there is another way of putting this, but CW is weird. He didn’t join our card games, sat all by himself most of the time and seldom joined in our conservation.

However, when I talked to him on the flight to KK, I found him to be generally quite a nice person. We talked about many things including relationship. Though I was taken aback a little when he asked about my sex life.

As a result of the airplane conversation, I was mistaken as his friend. Not to say I am not his friend, but I only met him for the very first time the night before. My ex, YF, was the one who invited him to come along.

His er ... idiosyncrasy only showed after we arrived in KK.

On the first night in KK, I was asked what’s wrong with my friend and suggested that I go talk to him, when he locked the room door (supposedly to take his shower. But for more than half an hour?) and his room mate couldn’t get in.

Perhaps it was my mistake to have not taken YF seriously, when he mentioned that CW does not 'conform' and is 'different' for the sake of being different.

In addition, YF didn't even talked much to CW during the trip. In fact, they acted like they didn't even know each other. Shouldn't he at least get CW to join in or something?

When I asked YF that, he just shruged and said, 'He's like that lar.'



Anonymous said...

hey lad,

we not only shared the same bed, but we also shared the same blanket too, remember? in the middle of our sleep, i suddenly realised we even shared the same pillow. remember??? hahahaa... sorry, i had made up the last part.

yup, you had been a great pal to be in bed with, errr, i mean, to have a bedtime talk with. while you are young and inexperienced, you have good in-depth ideas of the things that you wanted to pursue. i'm sure i certainly ain't as matured as you when i was your age. even at this present point in time, i'm still thinking through about the path that i want to take. it certainly was a great talk with you in bed, and on the bus, and while having our private meals between you, CH and me...

yes, and that funky doc too, with his very gentlemanly mannerism. i had very engaging long talks with him when we ascended and descended the hill. he had been a great travel partner. you were busy taking pics, if not we would probably make the best threesome. ok, correction - the best trio, i mean.(shucks, what happens to my vocabulary!!)

so we shall have an open agreement that one day, we three shall travel together again yah...


p/s - hey if you were to one day bring him home to meet mom, engage me to film it down for you. haha. i like that line you used!!!

Derek said...

Likewise, LP.

Oooh, and please stop saying the wrong things and giving me ideas!

Heh .. that would be the day if I were to bring him home.


P/S Really feel like visiting Singapore; I haven't been there for ages.

Anonymous said...

oh sure, derek boy.

come look me up if you are in town. perhaps you can share with me how to behave in a gay pub. i hadn't been to one myself.