It has been more than 24 hours after my coming out.
Wow, it was indeed wonderful. The feeling of liberation and the gush of exhilaration. Leaving the musty smell of the closet and breathing in the fresh air. This is just awesome.
Truthfully though, I am actually kinda disappointed.
Call me a drama-queen but I was actually expecting a lot more from my coming out experience. Oh, I don’t know. Perhaps some vase-throwing and over-dramatic shouting and screaming? Or threats of you-better-turn-straight-or-you-leave-this-house-
As you have read, my mom was decidedly calm and understanding.
For aspiring closet-leavers, let me share with you the top three most awkward questions you will encounter when you come out to family. Or at least, I did. Answers given are just suggestions. You are welcome to use them, but I shall not be held responsible for the consequences.
1) You look at cute guys on the streets and you wanna ‘do’ them?
Of course not, I am not that cheap. Besides, nowadays departmental stores and boutiques are everywhere.
2) You mean you get turn on when you look at a penis, an erect penis?
Well, a penis is a penis is a penis. Though not just any penis. Size does matter, you know.
3) How on earth do you have sex with men?
First, you undress him. Then, you play ….. Oh my god, you mean you and dad never … ? *gasp* Then, where did I come from?
I suppose coming out loses its drama and anticipation after a while. By the way, I have come out to more than ten straight people – friends from secondary school and university mostly.
Am I getting used to it all already? The fear of the other person’s rejection (Please leave now. I don’t want to ever see you again.), the unbelief (How can you be gay? You look so normal.), the certainty questions (You sure you are gay? You sure this is not just a phase?), the curiosity (How does er ... a penis taste like?).
OK, I made the last one up. I have not come across anyone who asked me that. Maybe my friends were just being polite.
On the bright side though, I am actually glad that I am out to her. I have a feeling that things would be better between us. Our relationship will definitely improve.
I don’t need to hide my conversations with guys. I can tell her who are the friends I hang out with. Why, I can even bring my boyfriend home (when I have one). ‘Mom, meet Z. He’s my boyfriend. He’s sleeping over tonight.’
Having said that, the next thing that I would need to confess to her is: ‘You know the Kota Kinabalu trip I told you about? Yeah, I am actually going with nineteen other gay guys.’