I read this in the morning and I felt all warm and fuzzy inside.
The fiance of transsexual Jessie Chung, who hit the headlines recently when she spilled the beans abut her sex change operation, has proposed to her at least six times, Sin Chew Daily reported.
Joe Ma Si Jian, an accountat in his 30s who is Chung's business partner, started dating her in 2002.
After failing to to get Chung to marry him, Ma proposed to her in a letter written in his blood last year, the daily said.
Chung was touched and finally agreed to marry him.
More than 800 friends and relatives are expected to attend their wedding in Kuching on November 12.
How sweet of the Joe. Though personally, the part where he wrote a letter in blood is a bit scary. Definitely not my idea of romance.
I know I would be apprehensive (brain shouting "Psycho!") if someone were to do that for me.
But enough about me.
Of course, Jessie has known him since 2002. Taken in a positive light, it demonstrated that he really loves her and is willing to spill blood to get into her heart.
Which tells us quite a lot about him.
For one, he is one an open-minded man. Ninety-nine percent of all men would not even give Jessie a second look once they know she's a transsexual.
The usual reaction of sniggering and making jokes would prevail. In fact, I am somewhat guilty too, not because I make those jokes but for not properly admonishing my friends when they do. All I do is not laugh and say it's not funny.
Clearly, I have made the assumption that Joe is born heterosexual. If he was not, the daily would have mentioned it.
Another thing about him is he rejects conventional practices. He gives conservative gender roles and expectations a bitch slap. A man does not necessarily must have a male brain and a female, female brain. And that person is no different from any other human being on Earth; he or she deserves as much respect, dignity and love from all.
Last but not least, he looks deeper beyond appearances. He focuses on what really matters – which is the inside. One can be open-minded about something – merely tolerating or indifferent – but to get to know a person for who he is, that’s something.
I can be nonchalant about some really thick-skulled people who say things like if someone is “naturally-inclined” to be homosexual and we have to accept homosexuality, and thus someone who is “naturally-inclined” to rape acceptable too.
If that person continues to think that way, I would not even bother to get to know him better. He might have a heart of gold and be the most generous person on Earth; unless his positive traits shine through, I wouldn’t dig deeper to know him.
Very often, we only get to know someone better if he is our “type”. A combination of that off-the-cuff, instant judgment thing called physical attraction and that difficult-to-define and hard-to-grasp thing called chemistry.
I am not saying it’s bad, but it does exclude a lot of people from being one’s friends. Hence, we might miss those who are beautiful inside but no so on the outside, to be our friends.
Though admittedly, it is tiring to know every Tom, Dick and Harry, without some mental checklist of exclusion. Not everybody can be our friends and we can’t possibly get along with everyone.
For myself, I usually don’t dismiss someone just because he’s not my type. I would probably get to know and understand him a little bit more. Then only discard him if his personality is as sparkling as sparkling juice.
Even though marriage does not equate living happily ever after, but for Jessie, getting to the altar is already a cause for celebration. Especially in a patriarchal society.
I wish them all the best and hope they do live happily ever after.