Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Loading and unloading

I have been busy moving to the new condominium over the weekend. I was even on leave yesterday, still packing and unpacking items, going back and forth, loading and unloading things from the car.

Didn’t know I have accumulated so much in my old house. A few times it pained me to have to throw away stuff, from way back in primary school (like gifts and cards) and secondary (like handiwork and scrapbooks).

I have a little hoarder in me.

Anyway, Dad, Mom and I were in the living room. Dad was going through his things, Mom was dusting something before packing it in a box while I was putting some documents into a bag.

Dad came across a copy of Penthouse, which was in an envelope.

Dad: Hey, this is a porno mag, which *name of friend* gave me ages ago.
Dad: Shall I throw this away? (looks at me) Or you wanna have a look at it first?
Dad: (thinks a moment) Nah, better throw it away.
Mom: Keep it lar. Let him have look at it. (glances at me)
Dad: How can you encourage your son to look at ham sap (dirty) and naked pictures of women? (jokingly)
Dad: Fine, take it then (passes the magazine to Mom)
Mom: He’s a big boy now. It’s ok and perfectly normal. It's only women's body.
Me : (can't believe this is happening. Feeling fearful and apprehensive)
Mom: (passes the mag to me)
Me: (Slowly reach out and take it)

It’s an old copy, a nineteen ninety something issue. Saw the main text superimposed on a naked and faceless woman: One hot stud, two women, great sex.

Or was that one stud, two hot women, great sex?

I flipped through the magazine. Quickly. Pictures of naked women everywhere, especially the nether regions. Saw a picture of a man’s body. Got turned on.

I think I held it for about 15 seconds before I handed it over back to Dad

Dad: You don’t want it? You not interested at all? You like men's picture's instead? You sure you are normal? (He likes to ask many questions one after another, but doesn't wait for answers.)
Me : (pretend to be cool and ignore him)
Dad: Make sure you don’t do those abnormal stuff. You should be able to think for yourself about what is right and wrong. (goes on to tear up the magazine)

First of all, am I expected to browse through the magazine and get turned on in the middle of packing things into boxes? Even if I were straight, I would think that that would be awkward. Getting all excited and be seen like that, in front of your parents.

Secondly, what was my Mom thinking? Openly encouraging me to keep and look at the magazine? For me to continue with my pretenses of heterosexuality or hoping that looking at naked women pictures will turn me straight?

Will have to ask her about it soon.

Perhaps I should have said this:

Me: (takes the magazine enthusiastically) Wow, look at the boobs. So big and round. And look at that tight pussy. Got lesbian sex some more. Hmm ... can give me a couple of minutes? I will be back to finish the packing after er ... unloading something.


keatix said...

hehe. why throw it? dont u know the length and trouble how much the mag has to go thru to b4 reaching u?

pass it to me ....can buy u a drink. i wanna own one.

alex said...

is this somehow staged?

savante said...

Cute. So where did the magazine go in the end?


Legolas said...

Hmm.... You sure your Dad knew nothing about you? He won't be asking those questions if he had no idea.

jayandkay said...

I find it cool that your parents acted that way. Perhaps they were hinting that they know about your sexuality, no?

wingedman said...

I didn't know you were moving! Where to?

If I were you I wouldn't have even touched the filthy thing. All those naked pussies...*shudder*

Derek said...

keatix: Haiya, there's lot's of porn on the Net. Moving pictures some more, not stills.

Aren't they better?

alex: Of course it's not staged. Dad isn't suppose to know. For now.

savante: In the trash bin. I definitely have no use for it. ;P

legolas: He suspects. But then, he has always been paranoid.

jayandkay: Hi there to both of you. Welcome to my blog. ;-)

My mom knows, but not my dad. And my dad will totally freak out if there is even a hint of homosexuality.

wingedman: I thought I told you.

Anyway, it's even closer to where you live now. I am your new stalker!

OK. That was so not funny.

Espion said...

Hahaha! Nice drama.

Your Mum: Maybe the discovery of the magazine gave her a hint of hope that you can yet be straight. Maybe she secretly blamed herself for your lack of 'education' when you were young. Should have let you see more girlie pics when young. :-)

Your Dad: Well you know him better, but he may know more than you think, eg are you sure your mum didnt say anything, verbal or otherwise, to him? After being married for so long, you know more than you say.

Lets imagine a bedtime bedroom scene:

Dad: Has our boy boy got a girlfriend yet?
Mum: [Silence]
Dad: You know something I don't?
Mum: [Silence]
Dad: [Silence]
Mum: He is still a boy. Let him take his time.
Dad: As long as he like girls he can take his time.
Mum: Let's talk another time. I'm tired. Good night.