Saturday, May 27, 2006

My first movie in Singapore

Trip back to KL was great, albeit too short.

I didn't have much time; everything felt rushed. I left work on Friday, took a 6.30 p.m. bus, reached KL at midnight, spend the night with CF till Saturday 4 p.m., went home, spend time with family till Sunday afternoon and then I took the 4.30pm bus back to Singapore.

Wheew!

As I have promised him, we went to Crystal Jade in Sungai Wang for lunch. It has been more than a month since we went and I could tell that CF was really happy.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach ;P

Though I was quite surprised when he didn’t want to order a second helping of the steamed Shanghai buns (his favourite).

Even though I only sat for my exam last Wednesday, it feels like it has been a long time ago. Perhaps it’s the sense of finality that I am err … finally done with it. Perhaps it’s the exam momentum or euphoria or something, but I’m quite hyped to take on the next exam! Which by the way, is in January.

Yeah I know it's weird. Who would look forward to exams, right?

*******************

I just watched my first movie in Singapore yesterday – Da Vinci Code. It was not as bad as some people had made it out to be. Reviews had called it unexciting, dull, boring, too long, etc.

Perhaps it was my lowered expectation; I kind of enjoyed it. I think Ron Howard did as best a job as he could with the adaptation. All the important bits were there.

Though the colleague that I went to watch with did say that he didn’t get the whole story.

Suspense and pace were lacking a bit though.

Now, I can finally understand what the whole fuss is about that churches want to ban the movie and all. The movie does come across as blasphemous. But the point is that, it's just fiction.

We went to Lido cinema, which is huge and really nice. The only gripe I have is that we got the back seats and the screen looks quite small from there. I mean, it was the smallest I have ever experienced. Even in KL, from the last row, the screen isn’t that tiny.

Probably what made it feel that way is that the screen isn’t from wall to wall; there is a huge pillar between the wall and the screen on both sides. Which meant that the image is around 80% smaller than it would have been without the pillars obstructing.

Anyway, I really want to watch X-Men 3. Both CF and I love the movie and had planned to watch it together. As I’ll only be back again in two weeks time, I would have to be patient. Though CF had watched it yesterday with his college friends, he doesn’t mind watching it again.

In case you are wondering, it’s not he can’t wait to watch the movie; it’s just that he can’t really be saying to his friends, “Oh, I am waiting for my boyfriend to come back so that we can watch together. So sorry, I can’t join you”, can he?

It’s the summer blockbuster season and there are so many movies to watch, so little time. The current animation, Over the Hedge, has received good reviews but I couldn’t find anyone to watch it with. Another animation which I really want to catch since last year is Cars, coming out in June.

In addition, it has got the thumbs up by Suanie.

One last thing. I came across this letter and thought I would share it. It is indeed heartening to know that there are still logical and intelligent people straight males. If only there were more people who can think and arrive at similiar conclusions like the author ...

The letter has been edited for brevity. Parts in bold are my own. The original can be found here, titled Responding with Thought.

I'm not gay.

I never had any gay friends (or maybe some kept that part of themselves to themselves) or many friends for that matter.

But I have absolutely no sympathy for zealous fundamentalists who seem to forget that it is by GRACE that they are "saved"; that forgiveness and forbearance must first be proffered and not expected; that no one was, is or will ever be perfect this side of heaven. They claim to worship God, but have conveniently forgotten the message of forgiveness and love (in every sense of the word) that the life, action and words of the Messiah Jesus Christ has exemplified. In their pursuit of their interpretation of holiness, they've lost their humanity and compassion. Since you'll be judged by God, then don't judge others because there can be only one to judge the finality of all things. Indeed the bible has warned that it is by the measure you judge others that you'll be judged.

I've told my friend that in my opinion, straight males despises gays because they're terrified of the thought of being sodomised as it'll rob them of the dominant role of being a male -- one that penetrates and not one receiving penetration, which in their world, only women do. [Derek: I have said it numerous times: it's called "threatened masculinity". Why is masculinity so easily threatened? ;P] Curiously, it doesn't bother some of them that they enjoy anal sex (but only with women, please) because again, they're in their comfort zone as being the dominant partner who penetrates, though technically, they too are committing sodomy (I apologise if this choice of word caused grief & offence as it's a emotionally-loaded term).

Anyway, at this point in time, after a period of academic reflection, my conclusion is that discrimination against gays is due to fear and loathing.

If the unenlightened individual chooses to believe that "every gay's up to fuck me in the arse at every given opportunity" then by extension, every heterosexual male will be raping all available females within his reach. Just as straight males are only attracted to certain females while constantly thinking of sex, I believe that a gay male need to have certain taste, preference and standards met before he's ready to express his interest. The only heartache is when the other party does not reciprocate (either because he's "not like that" or just plain "not interested"). But hey, doesn't that occur in the non-gay sphere too?

To tar all gays as sexual predators ever-ready to shaft you in the arse at the drop of the hat means that for the sake of equity and fairness, we should label all straight males as rapists, adulterers, paedophiles and the like because they exist among them too.

I try to intellectualise the acceptance of gays people by comparing it to preferences each of us have towards our likes and dislikes. But I fear that you may dismiss it as a patronising attitude [Note by Yawning Bread: I most certainly don't. In fact, I thank you for your honesty and sharing.] But I haven't arrived at a better way to rationalise it. Perhaps it seems that I'm struggling hard not to fall into the clutches of irrational fear and callous prejudice. Or perhaps my approach is wrong because should I expect a gay person to rationalise my sexual orientation which he does not share? Sexual orientation and expression is but only a part of our human makeup. To some, it is small and unimportant; to others, it's the core of their existence.

So in closing, perhaps we should try to see any individual in his totality instead of zooming in on one aspect of his being which may (and usually) obscures the paradox of both beauty & ugliness that lies in each of us.

Nevertheless, I freely admit my discomfort if I'm propositioned by a gay person (like I have such attractive qualities that are so irresistible).

A carnivore must eat meat & a herbivore must eat plants. It's just the way they are. So if I'm turned on by (some) women, how do I explain or rationalise to a person who's not? The short answer is "There's no why. It's just my nature." With that, I think I can now understand and accept the very same answer to the question I pose to any gay person as to why they like what they like.

So I believe honesty, sensitivity, compassion and true love (wow this concept's just too huge) can go a long way in helping us cope with the myriad problems that assail each of us daily. Sadly, there's too little of those going around and tragically, most of us are too hard on ourselves most of the time.

11 comments:

Silentside said...

I can understand your situation. Trying to do everything with everyone in such a short amount of time is insane but I'm sure everyone understands what you are trying to do. I hope I can meet you when I'm back in either Malaysia or Singapore. Lolz. I wanna meet all the bloggers that read so much about. Hehe. :P Btw, good choice of reading. That letter is an eye-opener for heterosexuals (but there were so many eye-openers but all have been pushed aside) as well as homosexuals.

confusticated said...

something i've been saying to the cloistered and the selectively intelligent. then again, most of the time i find it easier and more amusing to sit back and take a good laugh once in awhile.

joshua said...

Where you find all these deep deep articles ah? Pretty liberalised school of thought. Might not go down too well with the norms, but hey, EVERYONE's DIFFERENT right?

And I am having the same problem watching X Men 3 with D. The exact same line, he doesn't mind watching X Men 3 AGAIN!

The Searcher said...

gay or not gay.... we are still people with a heart.....

Harvey said...

I myself feared of gays when I was young as I didn't know anything about homosexuals except that they're related to Aids. I think it's like being afraid of ghosts. Discrimination towards gays stems from fear, which is attributed by lack of understanding. The author of the letter managed to take an objective view on homosexuality as he understood what it is. I couldn't agree more that our sexual orientation is our nature, just like whether we are carnivor, herbivor, or omnivor.

savante said...

What?! You like exams!? Come do mine in November!

paul

famezgay said...

yes.. sadly gays always related to AIDS n in such a conservative environment, gay are treated as a mental problem instead of a human nature.. Well that is why when i always come out with a straight fren, they always come out with the same question: Why U become gay? huh.. i'm soo speechless!

Prince of Darkness said...

Ceusm - Why U become gay? If that's the question asked to me, I would answer back, why are you a boy or a gal? Same perspective. As it's unexplainable.

I just wish that I am able to watch Over the Hedge with my bf when I am there in Sg, hopefully the movie still on when the time comes...

Anonymous said...

Your relationship with God does not depend on anyone else but you. Human opinions and reasoning don't matter. Only the Word of God (Bible) does. And the bible is very clear on its position about homosexuality. It is expressly forbidden. Many times over.

Also, the concept of judging one another is different from teaching and rebuking one another in the Lord. The latter is something Christians are implored to do. The Bible is not for standing on the river bed watching someone drown.

Derek said...

silentside: Yup, not much time to do anything. Let us know when you're back. We can have a gathering or something ;P


iwao: It's difficult to enlightened others if they don't want to. I have written something about it, about how difficult to change someone's beliefs, as it affects their brain survival mechanism. As in, most beliefs are connected somehow. If one is proven wrong, it shakes their worldview and make them really uncomfortable.


joshua: Where I find there articles? Have to search deep deep lor ;P

Seriously, I am subscribed to a few forums and all. I get really interesting stuff like these sometimes.


the searcher: Good point.


harvey: Live and let live, that's what diversity is all about.


savante: Heh, if I were a doctor, I would ;P


ceusm: Then you ask them back "Why are you straight?" ;P


prince of darkness: When are you coming to Singapore? Chances are it won't be showing anymore. Maybe you can catch Cars instead.


anonymous: Sigh ... another one of these comments.

Anyway, I shall be polite. Thanks for letting us know your views. But perhaps you can let me know which verse "expressly" forbids homosexuality.

You sound like an intelligent person, which I hope you are. Keep your mind open and if you are open to a different point of view, go read my April 2005 archives. I have written about this in my first and second post in that month.

I look forward to more comments from you.

Derek said...

This is the website on beliefs and how difficult it is to change them.

This could probably explain a lot of things. http://www.csicop.org/si/2000-11/beliefs.html