My first movie in Singapore

Trip back to KL was great, albeit too short.

I didn't have much time; everything felt rushed. I left work on Friday, took a 6.30 p.m. bus, reached KL at midnight, spend the night with CF till Saturday 4 p.m., went home, spend time with family till Sunday afternoon and then I took the 4.30pm bus back to Singapore.

Wheew!

As I have promised him, we went to Crystal Jade in Sungai Wang for lunch. It has been more than a month since we went and I could tell that CF was really happy.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach ;P

Though I was quite surprised when he didn’t want to order a second helping of the steamed Shanghai buns (his favourite).

Even though I only sat for my exam last Wednesday, it feels like it has been a long time ago. Perhaps it’s the sense of finality that I am err … finally done with it. Perhaps it’s the exam momentum or euphoria or something, but I’m quite hyped to take on the next exam! Which by the way, is in January.

Yeah I know it's weird. Who would look forward to exams, right?

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I just watched my first movie in Singapore yesterday – Da Vinci Code. It was not as bad as some people had made it out to be. Reviews had called it unexciting, dull, boring, too long, etc.

Perhaps it was my lowered expectation; I kind of enjoyed it. I think Ron Howard did as best a job as he could with the adaptation. All the important bits were there.

Though the colleague that I went to watch with did say that he didn’t get the whole story.

Suspense and pace were lacking a bit though.

Now, I can finally understand what the whole fuss is about that churches want to ban the movie and all. The movie does come across as blasphemous. But the point is that, it's just fiction.

We went to Lido cinema, which is huge and really nice. The only gripe I have is that we got the back seats and the screen looks quite small from there. I mean, it was the smallest I have ever experienced. Even in KL, from the last row, the screen isn’t that tiny.

Probably what made it feel that way is that the screen isn’t from wall to wall; there is a huge pillar between the wall and the screen on both sides. Which meant that the image is around 80% smaller than it would have been without the pillars obstructing.

Anyway, I really want to watch X-Men 3. Both CF and I love the movie and had planned to watch it together. As I’ll only be back again in two weeks time, I would have to be patient. Though CF had watched it yesterday with his college friends, he doesn’t mind watching it again.

In case you are wondering, it’s not he can’t wait to watch the movie; it’s just that he can’t really be saying to his friends, “Oh, I am waiting for my boyfriend to come back so that we can watch together. So sorry, I can’t join you”, can he?

It’s the summer blockbuster season and there are so many movies to watch, so little time. The current animation, Over the Hedge, has received good reviews but I couldn’t find anyone to watch it with. Another animation which I really want to catch since last year is Cars, coming out in June.

In addition, it has got the thumbs up by Suanie.

One last thing. I came across this letter and thought I would share it. It is indeed heartening to know that there are still logical and intelligent people straight males. If only there were more people who can think and arrive at similiar conclusions like the author ...

The letter has been edited for brevity. Parts in bold are my own. The original can be found here, titled Responding with Thought.

I'm not gay.

I never had any gay friends (or maybe some kept that part of themselves to themselves) or many friends for that matter.

But I have absolutely no sympathy for zealous fundamentalists who seem to forget that it is by GRACE that they are "saved"; that forgiveness and forbearance must first be proffered and not expected; that no one was, is or will ever be perfect this side of heaven. They claim to worship God, but have conveniently forgotten the message of forgiveness and love (in every sense of the word) that the life, action and words of the Messiah Jesus Christ has exemplified. In their pursuit of their interpretation of holiness, they've lost their humanity and compassion. Since you'll be judged by God, then don't judge others because there can be only one to judge the finality of all things. Indeed the bible has warned that it is by the measure you judge others that you'll be judged.

I've told my friend that in my opinion, straight males despises gays because they're terrified of the thought of being sodomised as it'll rob them of the dominant role of being a male -- one that penetrates and not one receiving penetration, which in their world, only women do. [Derek: I have said it numerous times: it's called "threatened masculinity". Why is masculinity so easily threatened? ;P] Curiously, it doesn't bother some of them that they enjoy anal sex (but only with women, please) because again, they're in their comfort zone as being the dominant partner who penetrates, though technically, they too are committing sodomy (I apologise if this choice of word caused grief & offence as it's a emotionally-loaded term).

Anyway, at this point in time, after a period of academic reflection, my conclusion is that discrimination against gays is due to fear and loathing.

If the unenlightened individual chooses to believe that "every gay's up to fuck me in the arse at every given opportunity" then by extension, every heterosexual male will be raping all available females within his reach. Just as straight males are only attracted to certain females while constantly thinking of sex, I believe that a gay male need to have certain taste, preference and standards met before he's ready to express his interest. The only heartache is when the other party does not reciprocate (either because he's "not like that" or just plain "not interested"). But hey, doesn't that occur in the non-gay sphere too?

To tar all gays as sexual predators ever-ready to shaft you in the arse at the drop of the hat means that for the sake of equity and fairness, we should label all straight males as rapists, adulterers, paedophiles and the like because they exist among them too.

I try to intellectualise the acceptance of gays people by comparing it to preferences each of us have towards our likes and dislikes. But I fear that you may dismiss it as a patronising attitude [Note by Yawning Bread: I most certainly don't. In fact, I thank you for your honesty and sharing.] But I haven't arrived at a better way to rationalise it. Perhaps it seems that I'm struggling hard not to fall into the clutches of irrational fear and callous prejudice. Or perhaps my approach is wrong because should I expect a gay person to rationalise my sexual orientation which he does not share? Sexual orientation and expression is but only a part of our human makeup. To some, it is small and unimportant; to others, it's the core of their existence.

So in closing, perhaps we should try to see any individual in his totality instead of zooming in on one aspect of his being which may (and usually) obscures the paradox of both beauty & ugliness that lies in each of us.

Nevertheless, I freely admit my discomfort if I'm propositioned by a gay person (like I have such attractive qualities that are so irresistible).

A carnivore must eat meat & a herbivore must eat plants. It's just the way they are. So if I'm turned on by (some) women, how do I explain or rationalise to a person who's not? The short answer is "There's no why. It's just my nature." With that, I think I can now understand and accept the very same answer to the question I pose to any gay person as to why they like what they like.

So I believe honesty, sensitivity, compassion and true love (wow this concept's just too huge) can go a long way in helping us cope with the myriad problems that assail each of us daily. Sadly, there's too little of those going around and tragically, most of us are too hard on ourselves most of the time.