Monday, April 16, 2007

Love grows

Love at first sight.

When I was younger, I thought that it would be a nice way to fall in love. I would walk into a room with a party in full swing, people busy chatting and drinking. I would look around to spot someone I know and head towards him.

As I walked towards the friend, I would catch sight of someone cute. Someone across the room, chatting with his friend. Oblivious to the fact that he has caught my attention.

From where I was standing, he would be someone who looks around my age, tall, with a perfect smile and toned body. He would have a friendly demeanour, confident and has a hearty laugh.

Without warning, he would suddenly turned to my direction, our eyes would locked. Light would emanated from around him and time would feel like it stopped for a moment.

Of course, how many people actually found their partners that way? Not many, I think. I know there are, but that would be far and few between.

Sorry to disappoint those who still believe in love at first sight, but what I am about to continue is not about my own love at first sight.

From my modest relationship experiences, love has not come to me that way. Rather, I fall in love slowly and gradually.

One of them whom I know from Fridae, our relationship didn't start from first sight. Honestly, I didn't find him attractive. But somehow, I decided to give it a go. I told myself that looks isn't everything. We had chatted on the phone many times and there were qualities that I liked about him.

Slowly and gradually, I liked it him more and more. I was devastated when we broke up, even though I was partially being desperate at the time, as I thought I would never find someone who would love me again.

Obviously I was wrong.

Another started off with him liking him first. I didn't think I would date him, as we started off as friends and hanged out quite often. Thus he was more of a friend to me, than a potential partner.

However, after we officially started dating, I began to see what a wonderful person. He was sweet, he was quite mature for his age and he loves me a lot. He was someone whom I thought I would take care off and wanted to make him happy as long as I could.

I was extremely saddened when he had to leave. At the time, we have had a few downs. And I was very much into him, more than he was into me.

As such, love for me takes time to build. It gradually becomes stronger as I know the other person more. It takes a firmer footing when we spend more time together, chatting and telling each other our life stories. The roots grow deeper as I discover his good qualities, like concern for his family and friends, jovial attitude and his goal to be the best person he can be.

Frequent communication is important. Call it possessive or obsessive, but I need to know that he is fine. I will text or call, everyday. I also want the other person to know that he is in my thoughts always.

And most all, it is to show that I miss him. A lot.

11 comments:

Defiant85 said...

Awwww such a sweet post but a wise one non the less.

Will said...

"Love at first sight" is a nice romantic idea but it does not always work. You seem a little more realistic, but I also think you have kept the romance with the realism. And I think any guy would be lucky to meet you.

William said...

Falling into you...

k said...

hmm. i'm not so sure. i don't believe in relationships that start over the internet. his didn't seem to work at all, did they? i think i'll stick to my fairy tale ending.

pluboy @ takashi said...

k.. however fairy tale it is, mine has lasted over 4 years .. :)

so to speak..

Yen said...

Love changes so much in a relationship - whether or not it was love at first sight becomes irrelevant. But I suppose it is a great feeling, especially if it is mutual!

Espion said...

Love is about knowing a person.

When you truly know you'll usually see the other is beautiful. Thus beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It is certainly possible to know another in an instance, but that instance may not be the first sight.

And knowing is not simply - if at all - a matter of time nor physical contact.

The other may not reveal himself, intentionally or otherwise, and even if revealed we may not see.

For what we saw is distorted by our expectations, our hopes, dreams, fantasies, fetishes, etc etc. And often we are misled by the packaging and missed the rotten apple within or vice versa.

Derek said...

defiant: Thanks ;P


will: Awww, thanks so much Will. I try to be both practical and romantic ;P


william: And so am I *hugs*


k: Internet as a dating tool does work. It has for me. And I am sure there are many out there who did too.


pluboy: I know. Four years is considered long. All the best! ;P


yen: I agree. No matter how it started, the important thing is that it HAS started and it's best to appreciate it.


espion: Which is why I think I grow to love a person - it takes time to know that person and we adjust our expectations, if necessary.

Espion said...

you can know more than one person, and as such can love more than one too. And that is ok, for love is not sex, right?

Kit Pan said...

"Love lives in the heart,
no matter how long the time would be,
as you truly love before,
this is the answer......."

Magus_Young said...

I empathize with you, though I cant claim to have any ltr as deep as you described. Hugz Hugz Sista

Shallow Sally