As much as we would like relationships to last, there are times when it is no longer possible to sustain it. Reasons range from lost of interest, another third party involved, not being able to see themselves together in the future, drifted apart, etc.
To me, all relationships are the same, gay or straight. Couples go through many obstacles, arguments, fights, silent treatments, the whole works. But for us gays, the challenges are more numerous and the obstacles are more difficult to overcome.
Which is why more gay relationships fail.
Can one openly bring the boyfriend home and introduce him to one's parents? Can one bring the boyfriend to the company's annual dinner? Can one declare one's love for another for everyone to know?
Of course, one can all do that. But how many actually can and do? You may pooh-pooh these as small and minor things, but the influence from parents, society and friends are significant.
As such, gay relationships take more work and effort. Gays don't have things planned out and then just go through the motions of life like the straights, where marriage is the way to go.
A straight couple who has been dating for 10 years is more likely to get married than to break up, even if there is not much passion left. To them, that's the natural course of action and it is more hassle to start all over with a new partner, especially if they are past the marrying age i.e. above 30.
In addition, if a straight couple breaks up, there are friends and family who would rush in to help mend things. They want to see them get back together and do whatever they can to salvage the relationship.
What happens when a gay relationship breaks up? More often than not, we only have our other gay friends to turn to. Guys are usually more practical and would say that there are plenty of fish in the sea. I would be really surprised if the parents come on board to assist to mend things or friends chip in to help them get back together.
We seldom interfere, unless we really have to. Unlike the heteros who would cajole and beg the unfortunate couple to reconsider.
Last but not least, biology does come into play no matter how much we deny it. Discipline and commitment can be learn, but they are difficult to practice. Ultimately men are sexually driven. In these times of instant gratification, coupled with constant lust and desire, cheating options are easily available. Just like we don't bat an eyelid when a man cheats on his wife, neither do we when we find out that someone has been cheating on his boyfriend.
Obviously, that is not an acceptable excuse.
The only difference is that there is marriage certificate and/or children to make things difficult to separate, but those things aren't there for gay couples. If they are, things might be a lot different.
There are many reasons why relationships fail and the reasons I have mentioned are not exhaustive. It takes deeper reasoning and thought to understand why, as all relationships are different with their own dynamics and complexities.
It's too simplistic to assume that whenever two guys get together, they would ultimately break up. It's illogical to think that it would never last without giving it a try.
Just like it is silly to think that there's no chance in hell that a married couple would divorce. Or that the husband would have an affair with the secretary when there's an opportunity.
If one were to really think like that, all gay relationships will not work out. But we all know that there are many which do. You just have to look harder.
As such, do not be discouraged by all the nay-sayers. If you believe it can happen, it will.