Monday, November 15, 2010

Are you ready for a relationship?

A lot of people want to be in a relationship. They desire and dream about it. It seems nice to have somebody to be there for you, to love and take good care of you. To cuddle and hold hands in the park. All very sweet and dandy.

But a relationship is not just about enjoying all those. There is more to it and there is hard work involved. There is also giving, not just taking.

As such, some people are just not ready for a relationship. And you can't blame them.

I just finished reading a book called Will Grayson, Will Grayson which was also reviewed in last week's The Star. It is about two teenagers with the same name of Will Grayson. One is straight and the other is not. The gay one has depression and doesn't believe that he deserves to be loved and have good things happen to him.

Of course, when you have such thoughts in your head and have a boyfriend who is very optimistic and sees the good in everybody, it is a recipe for disaster and much drama. Will Grayson doesn't understand what the boyfriend sees in him and the boyfriend has to constantly remind him that he is a wonderful person who can't see that in himself.

The point that I am trying to say is just that some people are not ready for a relationship and the other party have to accept it. The other party could also choose to ignore that fact and be patient with this issue or somehow work together towards resolving it.

Worse is that person does not know he is not ready and keeps on looking for a partner but it only leads to doomed affairs and breakups.

I suppose this happens more often when one is younger and doesn't know what he wants yet. There might still be issues with self identity, confidence, maturity, lack of understanding, depression etc. I believe this could be one reason why relationships when we are younger doesn't last very long.

Once you have overcome whatever obstacle that prevents you from forming a relationship, you are all set and ready for one!


thompsonboy said...

I suppose it gets easier with age and maturity...yes its connected. There's a limit to how much maturity in a younger kid - still cannot compare to years of experience and mellowing down.

Best time and stage of life to be in a relationship...nearing your 30s or late 20s.

savante said...

Really must look for this book! Sounds like a good read.

William said...

I wasn't quite ready when I met you. But it was great on the job training. :D

Jaded Jeremy said...

True true.

Derek said...

thompsonboy: Yup, that's why relationships before that seldom last long.

savante: It is! ;P

William: Hehe you sure you were not ready? Or you have been waiting all along?

JJ: =)

Just B3cks said...

:) Hey Bro, Long time didnt have chat with you! One year seems fly so fast right?

Well, about relationship .. Hmm, catch me for drink then I'll tell you my real life story about 'relationship, commitment, trust, loyalty, lust, divorce'. Can write book!

Kit said...

That's a very good question for those still looking for the 'One'. Only two palms can make clap sound, and have to move on when the 'One' still not ready. There's still many 'The One' somewhere, maybe they just overlooked it.