Someone wrote that LOVE = (LUST + COMMITMENT) x PATIENCE
Interesting equation. Simplistic, but if you think properly, it does come down to these three things.
The way I interpret it is that LUST is the physical attraction. It could be those big brown eyes or that smile that melts your hart every time or the way he blushes.
No relationship can survive without some level of physical attraction between two people. It doesn’t matter whether that spark flicker on the first meet or if it was slowly developed (like one day, you hit yourself hard for not realizing how adorable that left dimple is).
COMMITMENT is the other important ingredient. Things like personality, sense of humour, caring and compassion fades into the background if the other party can't commit whole-heartedly in a relationship. He might be the brightest person on Earth, have a fabulous fashion sense and all, but when it comes down to, it's the commitment to share your life with another person that counts.
OK, let's ignore those exceptions like open-relationships and menage-a-trois.
Last but not least, PATIENCE. A romantic relationship, heck, any relationship needs tons and tons of it. Patience to understand, patience to communicate clearly, patience to listen, patience to solve problems together, etc. Need I say more?
So a formula for love or rather, for a relationship to work and survive. Stripped to the basics.
Now, if only it was that simple in practice. There are many things that could undo formula. Throw in some stress, instant gratification, jealousy, lack of communication and boom, every goes up in smoke.
Still if one never tries, one wouldn't know. As cliche as it may be, it is true that it is better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Pan's Labyrinth
I was working late for the first time last week, on a Friday. Why oh why did I have to stay back of all days on a Friday, right before the weekend starts?
Anyway, to make up for it, a few of us went to watch the 2007 Golden Globes-nominated Best Foreign Language Film, Pan's Labyrinth. The movie was also nominated in the same category in the BAFTA awards and also for Best Screenplay.
The movie was absolutely brilliant and terrific.
Taken from IMDB,
Set during Franco's mopping up exercise after the Spanish Civil War, Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth is a wonderful, dark fairy tale that, in a metaphor for Spain itself, teeters on the edge of nightmare dreamscapes of corruption, violence and the death of innocents.
This film is definitely not for young children. Although the fantasy sequences are gorgeously realised, and are fairy tales in the truest sense (in that they are dark, fey, dangerous and violent), most of the story (about three quarters of it, in fact) exists outside of the dreamland, in the even more frightening (and sometimes shockingly violent) world of a real life struggle of ideas and ideology.
Sergi Lopez is excellent as the brutal (and possibly sadistic) Falangist Captain tasked with routing out the remaining leftists from the woods and hills of Northern Spain. Into this precarious situation come his new wife (a widow of a former marriage, who is carrying his son) and his stepdaughter Ofelia (played to absolute perfection, by the then 11 year old, Ivana Baquero).
Uncomfortable with her new surroundings, suspicious of her stepfather and desperately concerned about the worsening condition of her mother, Ofelia uncovers a strange alternative world, and the chance to escape forever the pain and uncertainty of her everyday life.
Thus the film alternates between the world of Civil War Spain and the increasingly bizarre, dark and frightening world of the Pan's Labyrinth. As the twin plots progress, they intertwine, with the tasks of Ofelia becoming the choices faced by a Spain at the crossroads. The poignancy of the film lies partly in the fact that the victories of the child are reflected so starkly by the failures of the adult world.
I am not sure where I read this description before, but someone described it as Alice in Wonderland, but much darker.
Acting was superb all round, with the evil Captain played to perfection. He received his just desserts in the end, but the people he had killed and tortured seemed to deserve more than just the Captain's death.
Alternating between the real world and Ofelia's fantasy world was done seamlessly. Her fear for her mother's health and her dislike for her stepfather were reflected in the fantasy world, where she escaped to as a way to deal with all the uncertainty of the war and puberty.
In her fantasy world, Ofelia was a princess of the underworld, who came to the open world hundreds of years ago and now has to complete three tasks before she can return to her father, the king.
I had to admit that the fantasy gave me the jitters. There were creepy crawlies in the first task she has to complete, which was pure ewww for me.
The second task was stealing an item from the creature called the Pale Man, which I think is one of the scariest monster ever imagined. His eyes are in his hands and he sees things like this.
Ok, it may look hilarious instead of scary here, but in the movie, it was definitely the other way round for me!
It's a beautifully crafted story which managed to intertwine reality with fantasy. Kudos to director Guillermo del Toro (of Hellboy fame), who also wrote the screenplay.
There were also some scenes of violence and torture, which was edited out. There was one where the doctor has to saw off a man's leg as it can't be saved.
Even Wikipedia has an article on it and details the story in full, so beware of spoilers!
Visual-wise, the settings in the magical world is breathtaking. The camera work and angle tells the story in a captivating way, just like you were being read a fairy tale when you were young.
All in all, Pan's Labyrinth has my vote for Best Non-English Film of 2006. It even made it to the Oscar's shortlist for Best Foreign Film, whereas a certain story with lots of grandeur and boobs did not.
Highly recommended film. It has been a long time since an excellent fairy tale like this came along. I hope it will be shown in Malaysian cinemas. If not, go get the DVD! It will be truly worth it.
I rate it a high 4.75 out of 5.
Anyway, to make up for it, a few of us went to watch the 2007 Golden Globes-nominated Best Foreign Language Film, Pan's Labyrinth. The movie was also nominated in the same category in the BAFTA awards and also for Best Screenplay.
The movie was absolutely brilliant and terrific.
Taken from IMDB,
Set during Franco's mopping up exercise after the Spanish Civil War, Guillermo Del Toro's Pan's Labyrinth is a wonderful, dark fairy tale that, in a metaphor for Spain itself, teeters on the edge of nightmare dreamscapes of corruption, violence and the death of innocents.
This film is definitely not for young children. Although the fantasy sequences are gorgeously realised, and are fairy tales in the truest sense (in that they are dark, fey, dangerous and violent), most of the story (about three quarters of it, in fact) exists outside of the dreamland, in the even more frightening (and sometimes shockingly violent) world of a real life struggle of ideas and ideology.
Sergi Lopez is excellent as the brutal (and possibly sadistic) Falangist Captain tasked with routing out the remaining leftists from the woods and hills of Northern Spain. Into this precarious situation come his new wife (a widow of a former marriage, who is carrying his son) and his stepdaughter Ofelia (played to absolute perfection, by the then 11 year old, Ivana Baquero).
Uncomfortable with her new surroundings, suspicious of her stepfather and desperately concerned about the worsening condition of her mother, Ofelia uncovers a strange alternative world, and the chance to escape forever the pain and uncertainty of her everyday life.
Thus the film alternates between the world of Civil War Spain and the increasingly bizarre, dark and frightening world of the Pan's Labyrinth. As the twin plots progress, they intertwine, with the tasks of Ofelia becoming the choices faced by a Spain at the crossroads. The poignancy of the film lies partly in the fact that the victories of the child are reflected so starkly by the failures of the adult world.
I am not sure where I read this description before, but someone described it as Alice in Wonderland, but much darker.
Acting was superb all round, with the evil Captain played to perfection. He received his just desserts in the end, but the people he had killed and tortured seemed to deserve more than just the Captain's death.
Alternating between the real world and Ofelia's fantasy world was done seamlessly. Her fear for her mother's health and her dislike for her stepfather were reflected in the fantasy world, where she escaped to as a way to deal with all the uncertainty of the war and puberty.
In her fantasy world, Ofelia was a princess of the underworld, who came to the open world hundreds of years ago and now has to complete three tasks before she can return to her father, the king.
I had to admit that the fantasy gave me the jitters. There were creepy crawlies in the first task she has to complete, which was pure ewww for me.
The second task was stealing an item from the creature called the Pale Man, which I think is one of the scariest monster ever imagined. His eyes are in his hands and he sees things like this.
Ok, it may look hilarious instead of scary here, but in the movie, it was definitely the other way round for me!
It's a beautifully crafted story which managed to intertwine reality with fantasy. Kudos to director Guillermo del Toro (of Hellboy fame), who also wrote the screenplay.
There were also some scenes of violence and torture, which was edited out. There was one where the doctor has to saw off a man's leg as it can't be saved.
Even Wikipedia has an article on it and details the story in full, so beware of spoilers!
Visual-wise, the settings in the magical world is breathtaking. The camera work and angle tells the story in a captivating way, just like you were being read a fairy tale when you were young.
All in all, Pan's Labyrinth has my vote for Best Non-English Film of 2006. It even made it to the Oscar's shortlist for Best Foreign Film, whereas a certain story with lots of grandeur and boobs did not.
Highly recommended film. It has been a long time since an excellent fairy tale like this came along. I hope it will be shown in Malaysian cinemas. If not, go get the DVD! It will be truly worth it.
I rate it a high 4.75 out of 5.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Time to hold hands II
Last weekend, I spent two nights at some sort of a mini resort at Pasir Ris. Singaporeans call it a chalet, but really, they are just two-storey buildings with rooms that are no different from hotels, size and facilities-wise. No wooden walls or floors or airy windows or verandahs!
Anyway, there were seven of us who spent the two nights there, including a birthday boy who turned 21 on Saturday. No, there was no repeat episode of drunken prawn, thank you very much, to those of you who asked! ;P
We spent almost the whole of Saturday at this water theme park called Wild Wild Wet. Nothing too fantastic; I only screamed on this one ride, where two of us sat on a boat-like device and slide down a 75 degree slope at a roller coaster descending speed.
The park was pretty small that we went around and tried everything at least twice! Still, I had a fabulous time. We were wet from the rides and from the rain, which was pouring non-stop right till we left the place at 3 p.m.
Something that struck me as particularly interesting was how our group walked hand in hand almost everywhere we go. I mean, I have done this with them before when it was a smaller group, like 3 or 4 of us, but not like this! Our elbows interlocked and we walked in one long line, obstructing some of the human traffic on the walkways.
We even formed a circle when we floated on giant floats along the Lazy River and needless to say blocked the river way.
Of course, we weren't that selfish to intentionally do that. We de-linked our hands whenever people want to pass us by. Then we struggled against the currents and manoeuvered with some difficulty to join to form again the circle of gay men on floats.
Ditto when we were on the streets.
Even though I have stopped being self conscious about how I act and behave in public, I still find it hard to believe that I was actually doing that in public. My other friends didn't give a damn as well.
There might be some stares from the other passersby but I don't think I noticed because I was having too much fun talking and laughing with them!
Imagine locking yourlips arms together with another guy in on the streets in KL or in one of the shopping malls. Like the two of you were walking down the aisle, arm in arm.
I actually don't mind doing it and most probably would, if the other person doesn't mind as well. ;P
But I am not sure, somehow, I feel it is quite unlikely. Strange even. Out of place, if I were to do in KL.
I am not saying that Singapore here is more open-minded or more liberal. Or maybe it is, to the straight couples. I have seen people kissing everywhere, on MRTs or even behind advertisement boards.
And of course, not forgetting this little incident I saw on the MRT.
It's just that well ... showing signs of affection in public in Malaysia seem to be frowned upon.
Many many moons ago, I have written something similar here. Which explains the title post.
What do you guys think?
Anyway, there were seven of us who spent the two nights there, including a birthday boy who turned 21 on Saturday. No, there was no repeat episode of drunken prawn, thank you very much, to those of you who asked! ;P
We spent almost the whole of Saturday at this water theme park called Wild Wild Wet. Nothing too fantastic; I only screamed on this one ride, where two of us sat on a boat-like device and slide down a 75 degree slope at a roller coaster descending speed.
The park was pretty small that we went around and tried everything at least twice! Still, I had a fabulous time. We were wet from the rides and from the rain, which was pouring non-stop right till we left the place at 3 p.m.
Something that struck me as particularly interesting was how our group walked hand in hand almost everywhere we go. I mean, I have done this with them before when it was a smaller group, like 3 or 4 of us, but not like this! Our elbows interlocked and we walked in one long line, obstructing some of the human traffic on the walkways.
We even formed a circle when we floated on giant floats along the Lazy River and needless to say blocked the river way.
Of course, we weren't that selfish to intentionally do that. We de-linked our hands whenever people want to pass us by. Then we struggled against the currents and manoeuvered with some difficulty to join to form again the circle of gay men on floats.
Ditto when we were on the streets.
Even though I have stopped being self conscious about how I act and behave in public, I still find it hard to believe that I was actually doing that in public. My other friends didn't give a damn as well.
There might be some stares from the other passersby but I don't think I noticed because I was having too much fun talking and laughing with them!
Imagine locking your
I actually don't mind doing it and most probably would, if the other person doesn't mind as well. ;P
But I am not sure, somehow, I feel it is quite unlikely. Strange even. Out of place, if I were to do in KL.
I am not saying that Singapore here is more open-minded or more liberal. Or maybe it is, to the straight couples. I have seen people kissing everywhere, on MRTs or even behind advertisement boards.
And of course, not forgetting this little incident I saw on the MRT.
It's just that well ... showing signs of affection in public in Malaysia seem to be frowned upon.
Many many moons ago, I have written something similar here. Which explains the title post.
What do you guys think?
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Bloodshed Diamond
With some resemblance to The Constant Gardener, where it was about how multinationals test research drugs on the people of Africa, Blood Diamond is about how the illegal smuggling of diamonds or conflict diamonds helped to fuel the rebellion and wars in that continent too.
From IMDB:
Set against the backdrop of civil war and chaos in 1990's Sierra Leone, Blood Diamond is the story of Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio) - a South African mercenary - and Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) - a Mende fisherman. Both men are African, but their histories as different as any can be, until their fates become joined in a common quest to recover a rare pink diamond that can transform their lives. While in prison for smuggling, Archer learns that Solomon - who was taken from his family and forced to work in the diamond fields - has found and hidden the extraordinary rough stone. With the help of Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), an American journalist whose idealism is tempered by a deepening connection with Archer, the two men embark on a trek through rebel territory, a journey that could save Solomon's family and give Archer the second chance he thought he would never have.
Even though that is that is the main storyline, the story also depicts very much about the violence and war in Sierra Leone, where blood or conflict diamonds originate. These are diamonds smuggled out of the country and sold to diamond companies and the money is used to buy weapons to further fueled the wars.
There are many scenes of violence, shooting and how young boys were taken away from the families to be trained to be so-called revolution fighters by these rebels. How they were given drugs and material possessions like CDs and TVs to keep them contented and do what their commanders ordered. The children have to do horrible things and even if they are saved from these "training camps", it takes years for them to recover, like how war veterans suffer something similar.
All these provide the background for something a story about compassion, humanity, love and redemption.
Excellent acting by Leonardo DiCaprio (he is nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor) and he thoroughly deserve it. He plays a soldier of fortune of white African descend, Danny Archer, who would do anything for money because there's no other way. He thinks his ticket out of Africa, out of all these killings and wars, is to locate a rare pink diamond, who was found by Solomon.
Solomon, played by Djimon Hounsou (last seen in Eragon), is a father who would do anything to be reunited with his family. His son was taken away by the RFU, a rebel group and trained to kill mercilessly.
Jennifer Connelly plays a supporting role as an American journalist and provides the love interest for the Dicaprio. Her role is also important as the journalist who exposed the illegal trade of a diamond company which purchased conflict diamonds and mixed them with legal diamonds to be sold worldwide.
It's amazing how the producers managed to weave a wonderful story and yet to convey the message about conflict diamonds. The gritty realism is sometimes, well ... too real. The sufferings of the common people in any war, the merciless and senseless killings of the masses BY children to do such things ... it really is sick and yet this was and is still happening in some countries.
Go watch the movie for an enjoyable two hours plus of action, human drama and a man's love for his family. Watch it to see how senseless violence can be. A emotional roller coaster ride for me. I criedbuckets a little towards the end, no thanks to some emotional manipulation Hollywood-style, though still heart moving for its portrayal.
How could God forgive us for all the the things (violence) we do to each other. But then, God has left this place a long time ago. In a continent so rich in culture and history, where the first humans come from, it is sad that it is still a humanitarian disaster.
I rate it a 4.25 out of 5.
P/S For some information about the actual situation, please go here. It might help to provide some background information for the movie.
From IMDB:
Set against the backdrop of civil war and chaos in 1990's Sierra Leone, Blood Diamond is the story of Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio) - a South African mercenary - and Solomon Vandy (Djimon Hounsou) - a Mende fisherman. Both men are African, but their histories as different as any can be, until their fates become joined in a common quest to recover a rare pink diamond that can transform their lives. While in prison for smuggling, Archer learns that Solomon - who was taken from his family and forced to work in the diamond fields - has found and hidden the extraordinary rough stone. With the help of Maddy Bowen (Jennifer Connelly), an American journalist whose idealism is tempered by a deepening connection with Archer, the two men embark on a trek through rebel territory, a journey that could save Solomon's family and give Archer the second chance he thought he would never have.
Even though that is that is the main storyline, the story also depicts very much about the violence and war in Sierra Leone, where blood or conflict diamonds originate. These are diamonds smuggled out of the country and sold to diamond companies and the money is used to buy weapons to further fueled the wars.
There are many scenes of violence, shooting and how young boys were taken away from the families to be trained to be so-called revolution fighters by these rebels. How they were given drugs and material possessions like CDs and TVs to keep them contented and do what their commanders ordered. The children have to do horrible things and even if they are saved from these "training camps", it takes years for them to recover, like how war veterans suffer something similar.
All these provide the background for something a story about compassion, humanity, love and redemption.
Excellent acting by Leonardo DiCaprio (he is nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Actor) and he thoroughly deserve it. He plays a soldier of fortune of white African descend, Danny Archer, who would do anything for money because there's no other way. He thinks his ticket out of Africa, out of all these killings and wars, is to locate a rare pink diamond, who was found by Solomon.
Solomon, played by Djimon Hounsou (last seen in Eragon), is a father who would do anything to be reunited with his family. His son was taken away by the RFU, a rebel group and trained to kill mercilessly.
Jennifer Connelly plays a supporting role as an American journalist and provides the love interest for the Dicaprio. Her role is also important as the journalist who exposed the illegal trade of a diamond company which purchased conflict diamonds and mixed them with legal diamonds to be sold worldwide.
It's amazing how the producers managed to weave a wonderful story and yet to convey the message about conflict diamonds. The gritty realism is sometimes, well ... too real. The sufferings of the common people in any war, the merciless and senseless killings of the masses BY children to do such things ... it really is sick and yet this was and is still happening in some countries.
Go watch the movie for an enjoyable two hours plus of action, human drama and a man's love for his family. Watch it to see how senseless violence can be. A emotional roller coaster ride for me. I cried
How could God forgive us for all the the things (violence) we do to each other. But then, God has left this place a long time ago. In a continent so rich in culture and history, where the first humans come from, it is sad that it is still a humanitarian disaster.
I rate it a 4.25 out of 5.
P/S For some information about the actual situation, please go here. It might help to provide some background information for the movie.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Short recap of 2006
2006 has come and gone. It seemed to have whizzed pass just like that.
Time seemed like to have passed by faster since I came to Singapore. It felt like only yesterday that I was with family and friends back in KL.
Since I arrived, nothing of significance has happened. It has been mostly work and more work.
Of course, I have made some wonderful friends here. And I have known them for less than two months. The past two months have been the most eventful; more things have happened than the six months before that.
The times I had with CF seemed so distant, seemed so long ago. The good and bad, the sweet and sour, they are but a memory that I will always hold dear.
So basically, 2006 was marked by my new job in a foreign country and a significant other who came into and went away from my life.
I still can't shake the feeling that the year that was seemed the shortest that I ever had in my entire life.
I have stopped making new year resolutions. I mean, time period by years is a good time to take stock but why make it an annual thing only? Resolutions can be made anytime of the year. The important thing is to have a few and to make them come true.
Which is why I am keeping mine very broad.
I just want to be healthy and be able to live life to the fullest. Besides that, I think would be great that I consciously endeavour to appreciate the people around me more and to treat them better.
P/S Would love to reflect more, but haven't had the time to. Been working since last Thursday till about 11pm almost everyday. Drained. Yesterday worked till 1am. My mom screamed when she heard that! LOL
Time seemed like to have passed by faster since I came to Singapore. It felt like only yesterday that I was with family and friends back in KL.
Since I arrived, nothing of significance has happened. It has been mostly work and more work.
Of course, I have made some wonderful friends here. And I have known them for less than two months. The past two months have been the most eventful; more things have happened than the six months before that.
The times I had with CF seemed so distant, seemed so long ago. The good and bad, the sweet and sour, they are but a memory that I will always hold dear.
So basically, 2006 was marked by my new job in a foreign country and a significant other who came into and went away from my life.
I still can't shake the feeling that the year that was seemed the shortest that I ever had in my entire life.
I have stopped making new year resolutions. I mean, time period by years is a good time to take stock but why make it an annual thing only? Resolutions can be made anytime of the year. The important thing is to have a few and to make them come true.
Which is why I am keeping mine very broad.
I just want to be healthy and be able to live life to the fullest. Besides that, I think would be great that I consciously endeavour to appreciate the people around me more and to treat them better.
P/S Would love to reflect more, but haven't had the time to. Been working since last Thursday till about 11pm almost everyday. Drained. Yesterday worked till 1am. My mom screamed when she heard that! LOL
Thursday, January 04, 2007
NY in KL
I have arrived safely back in Singapore, without a need to do a No 2 at the rest stops.
It had been a great break for me. I got to meet up with old friends and get acquainted with new ones.
On New Year's Day itself, McDave organised a gathering for us to kickstart the new year. Thanks so much for calling, texting,pleading and cajoling all these people to come *muacks*
What better way to get 2007 rolling than being surrounded by good friends, delicious food, skanky companions, lots of jokes and merriment and coffee?
The usual suspects were there: McDave, Defiant, Alex, Harvey, Bunny, Clayton and last but not least, William.
Of course I was there too. We were to have lunch at Siam Square, Times Square.
I arrived a little late as I was at KLCC to buy a little belated birthday gift for Alex.
After a quick round of introduction by our real names and not my blog names (as someone said, blogging is soooo 2006!), we got around to catching up with what's going on in our lives. For the somewhat newcomers, more introduction followed (What?!! You're 26? You don't even look 20!)
Everyone got along just fine. A few people couldn't turn up last minute, but it was alright. The number of people was just nice (eight). Good sign, right?
It did take some time for the ice to break a little. Some of us were pretty quiet, either from the previous night's partying (or equivalent) or too shy. I do hope it was the former!
But by the time we finished our meals, everyone seemed to be in a chattier mood. Maybe it was the energy-replenishing food. Or the Thai coffee, which was the restaurant's specialty.
At the time I wasn't feeling so well already. I ordered fried flat noodles with prawns and it came in such huge proportions. I felt bloated, thus I didn't finished everything though. It tasted quite good and would have been more delightful if I was
feeling better.
Bunny was the target of most of our jokes (sorry, dear!) because of his partner-in-crime, which coincidentally wasn't there. Strapping Shane was strapped at home, no? He needs lessons in .... OK, I think I better stop before Bunny starts chomping me!
After lunch, we didn't know have anything planned. We wanted to watch a movie, but of course tak jadi if we didn't make reservations earlier because one, it was a public holiday and two, it was a public holiday.
What do a bunch of gay men do then?
We headed to Borders and then dropped by at the Underwear Shop for a bit. Alex and Defiant complained that the shop doesn't bring in new designs fast enough. It's the same old same old. Where's the 2007 designs?
By this time, Bunny had to make a hop as he needed to go to Melaka for dinner with grandparents.
The next best thing to do was to head for Starbucks. Naturally, all the ones in Times Square are packed, which of course would cramp our very loud and fabulous selves.
So we crossed the street and went to the one there instead. Which was practically empty save two other people.
We talked more about everything under the sun - movies, travel, breast cancer, penis size, etc.
Oh wait, I just realised we didn't talk about a popular favourite topic - cute guys. How strange is that?
I left at six with William. Harvey left too. The rest went on to do some shopping and movies, which you can read from their blogs.
It was all great fun. Even though nothing concrete came out of it, but that's not the point. It's all about catching up, chatting, enjoying ourselves and most of all, drawing us closer together as friends.
And we can't have too many friends, can we?
It had been a great break for me. I got to meet up with old friends and get acquainted with new ones.
On New Year's Day itself, McDave organised a gathering for us to kickstart the new year. Thanks so much for calling, texting,
What better way to get 2007 rolling than being surrounded by good friends, delicious food, skanky companions, lots of jokes and merriment and coffee?
The usual suspects were there: McDave, Defiant, Alex, Harvey, Bunny, Clayton and last but not least, William.
Of course I was there too. We were to have lunch at Siam Square, Times Square.
I arrived a little late as I was at KLCC to buy a little belated birthday gift for Alex.
After a quick round of introduction by our real names and not my blog names (as someone said, blogging is soooo 2006!), we got around to catching up with what's going on in our lives. For the somewhat newcomers, more introduction followed (What?!! You're 26? You don't even look 20!)
Everyone got along just fine. A few people couldn't turn up last minute, but it was alright. The number of people was just nice (eight). Good sign, right?
It did take some time for the ice to break a little. Some of us were pretty quiet, either from the previous night's partying (or equivalent) or too shy. I do hope it was the former!
But by the time we finished our meals, everyone seemed to be in a chattier mood. Maybe it was the energy-replenishing food. Or the Thai coffee, which was the restaurant's specialty.
At the time I wasn't feeling so well already. I ordered fried flat noodles with prawns and it came in such huge proportions. I felt bloated, thus I didn't finished everything though. It tasted quite good and would have been more delightful if I was
feeling better.
Bunny was the target of most of our jokes (sorry, dear!) because of his partner-in-crime, which coincidentally wasn't there. Strapping Shane was strapped at home, no? He needs lessons in .... OK, I think I better stop before Bunny starts chomping me!
After lunch, we didn't know have anything planned. We wanted to watch a movie, but of course tak jadi if we didn't make reservations earlier because one, it was a public holiday and two, it was a public holiday.
What do a bunch of gay men do then?
We headed to Borders and then dropped by at the Underwear Shop for a bit. Alex and Defiant complained that the shop doesn't bring in new designs fast enough. It's the same old same old. Where's the 2007 designs?
By this time, Bunny had to make a hop as he needed to go to Melaka for dinner with grandparents.
The next best thing to do was to head for Starbucks. Naturally, all the ones in Times Square are packed, which of course would cramp our very loud and fabulous selves.
So we crossed the street and went to the one there instead. Which was practically empty save two other people.
We talked more about everything under the sun - movies, travel, breast cancer, penis size, etc.
Oh wait, I just realised we didn't talk about a popular favourite topic - cute guys. How strange is that?
I left at six with William. Harvey left too. The rest went on to do some shopping and movies, which you can read from their blogs.
It was all great fun. Even though nothing concrete came out of it, but that's not the point. It's all about catching up, chatting, enjoying ourselves and most of all, drawing us closer together as friends.
And we can't have too many friends, can we?
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year 2007
I am blogging from home, in KL.
I usually spend New Year's eve away from the crowd, away from the countdown. Not a fan of crowds and sweaty bodies and body odour. And don't you say clubs because that doesn't count; I don't think anyone stands within inches of your face in clubs, unless that guy is your boyfriend!
Someone was kind and generous enough to take me out to watch fireworks at KLCC, but the location to look at them was from Bangsar. It was a nice and quiet way to usher in the new year; watching fireworks from afar, with an Oreo McFlurry in hand!
Thanks!
Wishing everyone a blessed 2007. May everything that is good come your way!
P/S Not sure whether I am getting more used to Singapore food or what (I hope not!) but I seem to visit the bathroom more often since I came back! :(
I usually spend New Year's eve away from the crowd, away from the countdown. Not a fan of crowds and sweaty bodies and body odour. And don't you say clubs because that doesn't count; I don't think anyone stands within inches of your face in clubs, unless that guy is your boyfriend!
Someone was kind and generous enough to take me out to watch fireworks at KLCC, but the location to look at them was from Bangsar. It was a nice and quiet way to usher in the new year; watching fireworks from afar, with an Oreo McFlurry in hand!
Thanks!
Wishing everyone a blessed 2007. May everything that is good come your way!
P/S Not sure whether I am getting more used to Singapore food or what (I hope not!) but I seem to visit the bathroom more often since I came back! :(
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Gifts and more gifts
I know, it's like the hundredth time I am saying this, but work is really too much at this time of year!
When most people are winding down with Christmas and New Year's and shopping, I am stuck at work till 9.
Anyway, yesterday was a colleague's birthday and we only celebrated it today, with a cake and a present.
I have never bought such an expensive gift before for anyone, except for myself of course.
You see, this colleague of mine lost his mobile phone last month, a Nokia 6233, after having it for a grand total of 2 days!
His previous phone was a really old one, with monochrome screen, also a Nokia.
We believed it was swiped of his work desk when the trash lady came to empty the waste basket.
Immediately, a colleague and I decided to get him the exact same phone for his birthday. We asked around and managed to get the whole department to chip in.
I was assigned the task of buying the phone, which I did on Christmas eve morning.
I got it for $400 (without a mobile plan) and shared among 7 of us. I think with a 2-year contract mobile plan, it is about $100. This website says it sells for AU$499, so not too bad lar.
Initially, I was a bit worried that his family or friends might have the same brilliant idea and got him a phone too as a gift, but thankfully they did not.
When he unwrapped the present, he was truly shocked and stunned. I could tell from his expression that he was really touched and didn't expect it at all.
I think for that alone, it's worth the money. These kind of things, as Mastercard says, are priceless.
Actually, it was more of impulsive buying. I wasn't really planning to buy anything, but then I have been looking for a bag for some time and there was this shop at Vivocity which had a 20% store-opening discount .... which means it is only $28 ...
So, this is what I bought:
By the way, I don't really like Vivocity. It's too crowded (and even more so during the current school holidays), the floor plan is confusing and it doesn't feel very spacious, even though it's the largest mall here in Singapore.
Though that didn't stop me from walking around some more and buying this pair of shoes:
So, that's that.
Anyway, I will be coming back to KL this weekend. Yay!
I could really use with the long weekend break, coz I have been told I need to work on the first weekend of January. Not just one day, but both Saturday and Sunday! Sigh ...
The flood doesn't affect the North-South highway, does it?
Happy New Year everyone! Let's look forward to a better and more exciting 2007.
When most people are winding down with Christmas and New Year's and shopping, I am stuck at work till 9.
Anyway, yesterday was a colleague's birthday and we only celebrated it today, with a cake and a present.
I have never bought such an expensive gift before for anyone, except for myself of course.
You see, this colleague of mine lost his mobile phone last month, a Nokia 6233, after having it for a grand total of 2 days!
His previous phone was a really old one, with monochrome screen, also a Nokia.
We believed it was swiped of his work desk when the trash lady came to empty the waste basket.
Immediately, a colleague and I decided to get him the exact same phone for his birthday. We asked around and managed to get the whole department to chip in.
I was assigned the task of buying the phone, which I did on Christmas eve morning.
I got it for $400 (without a mobile plan) and shared among 7 of us. I think with a 2-year contract mobile plan, it is about $100. This website says it sells for AU$499, so not too bad lar.
Initially, I was a bit worried that his family or friends might have the same brilliant idea and got him a phone too as a gift, but thankfully they did not.
When he unwrapped the present, he was truly shocked and stunned. I could tell from his expression that he was really touched and didn't expect it at all.
I think for that alone, it's worth the money. These kind of things, as Mastercard says, are priceless.
**************************
Anyway, I did my own shopping one week before Christmas.Actually, it was more of impulsive buying. I wasn't really planning to buy anything, but then I have been looking for a bag for some time and there was this shop at Vivocity which had a 20% store-opening discount .... which means it is only $28 ...
So, this is what I bought:
By the way, I don't really like Vivocity. It's too crowded (and even more so during the current school holidays), the floor plan is confusing and it doesn't feel very spacious, even though it's the largest mall here in Singapore.
Though that didn't stop me from walking around some more and buying this pair of shoes:
So, that's that.
Anyway, I will be coming back to KL this weekend. Yay!
I could really use with the long weekend break, coz I have been told I need to work on the first weekend of January. Not just one day, but both Saturday and Sunday! Sigh ...
The flood doesn't affect the North-South highway, does it?
Happy New Year everyone! Let's look forward to a better and more exciting 2007.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Christmas on the beach
I spent Christmas eve at Sentosa, on the beach, listening to the waves, talking, laughing, drinking ....
Was afraid the rain would spoil the plans, but luckily it stopped just in time.
Arrived at the beach close to midnight, with nary a visitor in sight. Actually, there were, but it was too dark to see. Sentosa looks totally different in the dark.
Found a nice little hut cum shelter to put down our stuff and food - turkey and log cake and drinks.
A few invitees didn't turn up and coincidentally, I asked someone to come along. Should have ask more people as we have lots of unfinished food when we left this morning.
It's a different way to spend Christmas eve, away from the crowds, the lights of the city, the noise of the vehicles. I never like countdowns; people stand so close to each other that they can smell what the other had for dinner.
Which explains why I have never been to one at KLCC or Bukit Bintang or wherever.
Most of them, I have only met once. But it was fun, to see them again.
We joked, we laughed, we made fun and teased each other.
And I told him, finally.
It's never easy to break the bad news. But I suppose truth hurts, untruth hurts more.
I am more used to being down, rather than doing it.
Which probably explains my hesitance.
I planned to do it some time later, after I come back from KL, but someone said that now was as good a time as any.
I was wrong to have misled him, to have given mixed signals or worse still, hope.
I am really sorry for that.
Admittedly, the attention was flattering. It was nice to be cared for. It was touching to have someone buy dinner when I was working late.
I actually did try. For the past two weeks, I did. By going out, watching movies, dinner, the book I got him .....
But these things can't be forced, can they? Deep down, I knew what to do, but it was the doing part that was difficult.
Thanks to someone, I was given a little push to just say it.
To just do it. To just let it out.
And I did.
I felt better after that. He did too.
He's a nice person. I can even say that he is caring to a fault sometimes. He deserves someone better who can appreciate him for who is.
More importantly, we are still friends.
Was afraid the rain would spoil the plans, but luckily it stopped just in time.
Arrived at the beach close to midnight, with nary a visitor in sight. Actually, there were, but it was too dark to see. Sentosa looks totally different in the dark.
Found a nice little hut cum shelter to put down our stuff and food - turkey and log cake and drinks.
A few invitees didn't turn up and coincidentally, I asked someone to come along. Should have ask more people as we have lots of unfinished food when we left this morning.
It's a different way to spend Christmas eve, away from the crowds, the lights of the city, the noise of the vehicles. I never like countdowns; people stand so close to each other that they can smell what the other had for dinner.
Which explains why I have never been to one at KLCC or Bukit Bintang or wherever.
Most of them, I have only met once. But it was fun, to see them again.
We joked, we laughed, we made fun and teased each other.
********************************
And I told him, finally.
It's never easy to break the bad news. But I suppose truth hurts, untruth hurts more.
I am more used to being down, rather than doing it.
Which probably explains my hesitance.
I planned to do it some time later, after I come back from KL, but someone said that now was as good a time as any.
I was wrong to have misled him, to have given mixed signals or worse still, hope.
I am really sorry for that.
Admittedly, the attention was flattering. It was nice to be cared for. It was touching to have someone buy dinner when I was working late.
I actually did try. For the past two weeks, I did. By going out, watching movies, dinner, the book I got him .....
But these things can't be forced, can they? Deep down, I knew what to do, but it was the doing part that was difficult.
Thanks to someone, I was given a little push to just say it.
To just do it. To just let it out.
And I did.
I felt better after that. He did too.
He's a nice person. I can even say that he is caring to a fault sometimes. He deserves someone better who can appreciate him for who is.
More importantly, we are still friends.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Death Note 2
I caught the midnight screening of Death Note 2 yesterday.
For those who did not watch the first part, I strongly suggest you do, at least find out from online resources about the manga or anime.
Death Note 2 may be slightly confusing if you did not. Also, it might appeal to fans of the manga only, because at slightly more than 2 hours, it was a bit draggy at parts and could do with tighter editing.
Let me say that the movie is really different from the manga, which it is based on and which sold 10 million copies in Japan alone.
The gist of the story is basically how a college student (high school student in the manga) found a Death Note, in which whose name is written in it will die within 40 seconds of a heart attack. If the cause of death is to be stated, it has to be written in the Death Note within 400 seconds.
Sounds really childish, doesn't it? But there are quite heavy moral discussions and issues involved.
The main character, Light Yagami, used the notebook to kill criminals worldwide. Crime rates fell everywhere, because people know that so-called justice is served by Kira, the name given to the executioner of the bad guys.
But is taking the law into your own hands and killing bad guys the right way? Is creating an utopian crime free world based on fear and punishment, ideal?
The Japanese police is hot on the heels of Kira, led by international crime solver, L or his name Ryuzaki.
The first Death Note movie wasn't strictly based on the manga, as quite a number of things were changed, like how Light and L met and Light having a girlfriend in the movie when it wasn't mentioned at all in the comic.
The pacing was slow as a lot of introduction to the characters have to be made, though it ended with quite a cliffhanger in the end.
The second movie picked up where the first left off, with Light joining the investigative time to capture Kira. It is ironic that the criminal is on the good side trying to capture himself, which is how the trailer promoted the movie as a battle of wits between two geniuses, one good and one evil.
There are many twist and turns, but they all are faithful to the manga. A new character was introduced, as in the third Kira was different from the comic.
Two thirds into the movie, I was afraid that there would be a third movie as it followed the manga faithfully, with no ending in sight.
However I was wrong.
What I am really impressed with though is the ending. I think it is better than the one in the manga, where the former has proper closure and the latter did not. In the manga, it kind of lost its steam after L died.
I shall not spoil it for you but I applaud the producers and writers who came up with the ending.
There was also more human drama and emotion towards the end of the movie, whereas the manga was more on the cat-and-mouse between L and Light.
I can't divulge more without spoiling the story.
Light, played by Tatsuya Fujiwara, isn't really cute in my opinion. Looks a bit too chubby for my liking.
L, played by Ken'ichi Matsuyama is much cuter, if he loses the make-up he has on for the movie. Also, he is more endearing in the second movie and really captured the essence of L, with his weird behaviour and intellectual superiority as in the manga.
Overall I would rate it a 4 out of 5.
For those who did not watch the first part, I strongly suggest you do, at least find out from online resources about the manga or anime.
Death Note 2 may be slightly confusing if you did not. Also, it might appeal to fans of the manga only, because at slightly more than 2 hours, it was a bit draggy at parts and could do with tighter editing.
Let me say that the movie is really different from the manga, which it is based on and which sold 10 million copies in Japan alone.
The gist of the story is basically how a college student (high school student in the manga) found a Death Note, in which whose name is written in it will die within 40 seconds of a heart attack. If the cause of death is to be stated, it has to be written in the Death Note within 400 seconds.
Sounds really childish, doesn't it? But there are quite heavy moral discussions and issues involved.
The main character, Light Yagami, used the notebook to kill criminals worldwide. Crime rates fell everywhere, because people know that so-called justice is served by Kira, the name given to the executioner of the bad guys.
But is taking the law into your own hands and killing bad guys the right way? Is creating an utopian crime free world based on fear and punishment, ideal?
The Japanese police is hot on the heels of Kira, led by international crime solver, L or his name Ryuzaki.
The first Death Note movie wasn't strictly based on the manga, as quite a number of things were changed, like how Light and L met and Light having a girlfriend in the movie when it wasn't mentioned at all in the comic.
The pacing was slow as a lot of introduction to the characters have to be made, though it ended with quite a cliffhanger in the end.
The second movie picked up where the first left off, with Light joining the investigative time to capture Kira. It is ironic that the criminal is on the good side trying to capture himself, which is how the trailer promoted the movie as a battle of wits between two geniuses, one good and one evil.
There are many twist and turns, but they all are faithful to the manga. A new character was introduced, as in the third Kira was different from the comic.
Two thirds into the movie, I was afraid that there would be a third movie as it followed the manga faithfully, with no ending in sight.
However I was wrong.
What I am really impressed with though is the ending. I think it is better than the one in the manga, where the former has proper closure and the latter did not. In the manga, it kind of lost its steam after L died.
I shall not spoil it for you but I applaud the producers and writers who came up with the ending.
There was also more human drama and emotion towards the end of the movie, whereas the manga was more on the cat-and-mouse between L and Light.
I can't divulge more without spoiling the story.
Light, played by Tatsuya Fujiwara, isn't really cute in my opinion. Looks a bit too chubby for my liking.
L, played by Ken'ichi Matsuyama is much cuter, if he loses the make-up he has on for the movie. Also, he is more endearing in the second movie and really captured the essence of L, with his weird behaviour and intellectual superiority as in the manga.
Overall I would rate it a 4 out of 5.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Erayawn
I watched a midnight movie yesterday, which was so un-terrific and average, that the only saving grace was the venue of the cinema.
I was at the Cathay, where it used to be an old cinema, like what we used to have in KL - standalone one-hall cinemas with popcorns strewn on the floor after every movie.
The Cathay at Handy Road has been transformed into a new cineplex which was only opened this year. Must be quite impressive if it is even listed in Wikipedia, no?
I actually wanted to go to the one at Cineleisure, but the movie was shown in a small cinema. Of course, me being a fan of the bigger the better (ahem!) I chose the Cathay where the midnight session was shown on a much bigger one.
Oh boy, was the cinema grand! A lot of people in Singapore have not been there either, because it is a bit out of the way from Orchard, even though it is only like 500 metres away from the main shopping area.
Since when has a cinema screen has curtains, like what you see on performance stages? Or a voice which says "Welcome to the Cathay. We wish you an enjoyable movie experience" and the red curtains slide away to the sides?
I know those olden-days cinema had them minus the voice, but new ones?
It all looked very grand. The whole hall was bathed in red lights, red carpeting and walls with golden Roman pillars and trimmings. There was a lot of leg room too.
I would most probably go there again, if the movie I am watching is going to be screened in that hall.
Now to the movie.
It started quite interestingly, with an elf being chased and got caught by bad guys, with a voice-over in the background.
Very-LOTR like.
And also, that is like the only thing they took from the book it was based on, written by Christopher Paolini.
There are many similarities with LOTR, probably because the director wanted to emulate the grandiose and epicness of the former.
The next scene after that showed Eragon and his uncle and cousin working in the farm in summer. Much like the early scene of the Shire where everything is green and alive.
But the book started in winter. As I said, the opening scene was the only thing they took from the book, besides the title.
Moreover, the whole movie felt rushed. The scenes kept alternating between Eragon and the king, which didn't come across as smooth and coherent.
Another rubbish scene was how the dragon, about 5 feet long, flew in the sky, got strike by lightning three times and become 30-feet long. A baby dragon to an adult in three blinks of the eye.
Like, hello? I know it's fantasy, but at least some credibility.
A lot of things are left unexplained, or rather have been omitted. Eragon, the young farm boy could suddenly do magic spells and fight within the first half hour of the movie, without training whatsoever save one scene where he trained swords with Brom, the ex-Dragon Rider.
I was sienz half way through the movie. Predictable and not much excitement. The bad guys only know how to say threats and growl and not even once seem menacing enough.
The only saving grace is the visual effects. The dragon looked really life-like (but it has feathers on its wings, which is like, so salah!) and the final battle scene was really good.
Character development was poor because the director seemed to be rushing everything. They seemed so stereotypical. A mentor for the hero, a power-hungry king, Durza the dark wizard and his followers who can't capture the hero, etc.
Apparently it was never the intention to make the story a trilogy. There would only be a sequel if the movie was a success, which by the looks of it, I doubt so.
Hopefully, there would be no sequel so that we'll be spared a third-grade LOTR.
I rate the movie a 5.5 out of ten. IMDB has an average rating of 5.2 from 1200 viewers.
Save yourself the ticket money. The book is so much better.
I was at the Cathay, where it used to be an old cinema, like what we used to have in KL - standalone one-hall cinemas with popcorns strewn on the floor after every movie.
The Cathay at Handy Road has been transformed into a new cineplex which was only opened this year. Must be quite impressive if it is even listed in Wikipedia, no?
I actually wanted to go to the one at Cineleisure, but the movie was shown in a small cinema. Of course, me being a fan of the bigger the better (ahem!) I chose the Cathay where the midnight session was shown on a much bigger one.
Oh boy, was the cinema grand! A lot of people in Singapore have not been there either, because it is a bit out of the way from Orchard, even though it is only like 500 metres away from the main shopping area.
Since when has a cinema screen has curtains, like what you see on performance stages? Or a voice which says "Welcome to the Cathay. We wish you an enjoyable movie experience" and the red curtains slide away to the sides?
I know those olden-days cinema had them minus the voice, but new ones?
It all looked very grand. The whole hall was bathed in red lights, red carpeting and walls with golden Roman pillars and trimmings. There was a lot of leg room too.
I would most probably go there again, if the movie I am watching is going to be screened in that hall.
Now to the movie.
It started quite interestingly, with an elf being chased and got caught by bad guys, with a voice-over in the background.
Very-LOTR like.
And also, that is like the only thing they took from the book it was based on, written by Christopher Paolini.
There are many similarities with LOTR, probably because the director wanted to emulate the grandiose and epicness of the former.
The next scene after that showed Eragon and his uncle and cousin working in the farm in summer. Much like the early scene of the Shire where everything is green and alive.
But the book started in winter. As I said, the opening scene was the only thing they took from the book, besides the title.
Moreover, the whole movie felt rushed. The scenes kept alternating between Eragon and the king, which didn't come across as smooth and coherent.
Another rubbish scene was how the dragon, about 5 feet long, flew in the sky, got strike by lightning three times and become 30-feet long. A baby dragon to an adult in three blinks of the eye.
Like, hello? I know it's fantasy, but at least some credibility.
A lot of things are left unexplained, or rather have been omitted. Eragon, the young farm boy could suddenly do magic spells and fight within the first half hour of the movie, without training whatsoever save one scene where he trained swords with Brom, the ex-Dragon Rider.
I was sienz half way through the movie. Predictable and not much excitement. The bad guys only know how to say threats and growl and not even once seem menacing enough.
The only saving grace is the visual effects. The dragon looked really life-like (but it has feathers on its wings, which is like, so salah!) and the final battle scene was really good.
Character development was poor because the director seemed to be rushing everything. They seemed so stereotypical. A mentor for the hero, a power-hungry king, Durza the dark wizard and his followers who can't capture the hero, etc.
Apparently it was never the intention to make the story a trilogy. There would only be a sequel if the movie was a success, which by the looks of it, I doubt so.
Hopefully, there would be no sequel so that we'll be spared a third-grade LOTR.
I rate the movie a 5.5 out of ten. IMDB has an average rating of 5.2 from 1200 viewers.
Save yourself the ticket money. The book is so much better.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Spoilt Sunday
Can't believe like that this is only the third post of the month!
I have been working quite late this past week, staying till about 11 p.m. in the office. I know that to some of you, that is like nothing. Seriously, I don't know how you guys do it.
I haven't the faintest idea how investment bankers do it either. Day in, day out, 100 hours per week. But of course, they get paid like 20 times what I earn, or more.
On the other hand, I shouldn't be complaining. Someone else is even more busy at work till the boyfriend feels neglected!
I was invited to attend Alex's (such a dear!) gathering last weekend, but unfortunately I wasn't in KL. Thanks, Alex. Will make it up to you!
Last Sunday, I was at Sungai Buloh Wetland Reserve (Singapore, not the Sungai Buloh in KL). It's basically a mangrove area gazetted as a national park, so that it can't be developed into something like, say the Integrated Resort (which Genting won the bid to the Sentosa's one last Saturday). As it is winter now in the northern hemisphere, the reserve is like a pitstop for migratory birds, similar to Tanjong Tuan in Melaka.
And now for some photos.
Stick insect
Caterpillar
Red pincer crab
Spider
Birds
More of them birds
Cicada
After that, Lloyd and I rushed to Plaza Singapura to catch Quinceañera, a gay-themed film rated M18 (Mature 18) which has received quite good reviews.
At the ticket counter, I was asked to produce a photo ID. Now, it's not a must to carry my Malaysian I/C here, which was why I didn't. I only carry my employment pass, something like a work permit card, but which doesn't have a photo, just the date of birth.
But the ticketing guy let me buy a ticket anyway.
At the entrance to the cinema halls, this old man requested for my ID too. I thought the ticketing guy allowed me to buy the tickets, surely this old man was going to give me much trouble.
But jeunowat, he did! He bloody denied me entry, in front of all the other patrons! I was too shocked and my jaw nearly dropped!
Hello, I may look young, but definitely not THAT young. I think it happened, probably because of him being a stickler for rules and not using common sense.
I was totally pissed. Even though the ticket was refunded, but I actually rushed all the way there (a 40-minute train ride) and had a quick bite ... all gone to waste.
Yeah, I know, people kept telling me that I should be happy that I was mistaken for a 18 year old, but hey, it was an old uncle ... not some cute guy! So no consolation there.
But someone was around and tried to make me feel better.
And honestly, I would rather have watched the movie instead. I mean, I am a practical person. Indirect compliments or implied ones don't make up for it.
Fortunately, I was sufficiently entertained by a hula hoop competition for kids at the shopping mall. The kids were damn cute with their concentrated expressions and desire to outdo each other. It was really funny and the MC was hilarious too!
I had a really good laugh watching them performed.
Did a little Christmas shopping after that and then headed for home.
I have been working quite late this past week, staying till about 11 p.m. in the office. I know that to some of you, that is like nothing. Seriously, I don't know how you guys do it.
I haven't the faintest idea how investment bankers do it either. Day in, day out, 100 hours per week. But of course, they get paid like 20 times what I earn, or more.
On the other hand, I shouldn't be complaining. Someone else is even more busy at work till the boyfriend feels neglected!
I was invited to attend Alex's (such a dear!) gathering last weekend, but unfortunately I wasn't in KL. Thanks, Alex. Will make it up to you!
Last Sunday, I was at Sungai Buloh Wetland Reserve (Singapore, not the Sungai Buloh in KL). It's basically a mangrove area gazetted as a national park, so that it can't be developed into something like, say the Integrated Resort (which Genting won the bid to the Sentosa's one last Saturday). As it is winter now in the northern hemisphere, the reserve is like a pitstop for migratory birds, similar to Tanjong Tuan in Melaka.
And now for some photos.
Stick insect
Caterpillar
Red pincer crab
Spider
Birds
More of them birds
CicadaAfter that, Lloyd and I rushed to Plaza Singapura to catch Quinceañera, a gay-themed film rated M18 (Mature 18) which has received quite good reviews.
At the ticket counter, I was asked to produce a photo ID. Now, it's not a must to carry my Malaysian I/C here, which was why I didn't. I only carry my employment pass, something like a work permit card, but which doesn't have a photo, just the date of birth.
But the ticketing guy let me buy a ticket anyway.
At the entrance to the cinema halls, this old man requested for my ID too. I thought the ticketing guy allowed me to buy the tickets, surely this old man was going to give me much trouble.
But jeunowat, he did! He bloody denied me entry, in front of all the other patrons! I was too shocked and my jaw nearly dropped!
Hello, I may look young, but definitely not THAT young. I think it happened, probably because of him being a stickler for rules and not using common sense.
I was totally pissed. Even though the ticket was refunded, but I actually rushed all the way there (a 40-minute train ride) and had a quick bite ... all gone to waste.
Yeah, I know, people kept telling me that I should be happy that I was mistaken for a 18 year old, but hey, it was an old uncle ... not some cute guy! So no consolation there.
But someone was around and tried to make me feel better.
And honestly, I would rather have watched the movie instead. I mean, I am a practical person. Indirect compliments or implied ones don't make up for it.
Fortunately, I was sufficiently entertained by a hula hoop competition for kids at the shopping mall. The kids were damn cute with their concentrated expressions and desire to outdo each other. It was really funny and the MC was hilarious too!
I had a really good laugh watching them performed.
Did a little Christmas shopping after that and then headed for home.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Ménage à trois II
A ménage à trois is the French term describing a relationship or domestic arrangement in which three people, often a married couple and another lover, share a sexual relationship, although the relationship might or might not involve all three persons having sexual relations with each other. The French phrase literally translates as "household of three".
Two weeks ago, a member of the Yahoogroup that I am subscribed to, posted a message regarding three persons in a relationship.
"Can a person fall in love with 2 different people at the same time? If he chooses both and gives both his very best, will that make him unfaithful to either one? :-("
The next reply to the post was someone admitting to having two boyfriends and both of them know the existence of the other.
Almost immediately, the replies came fast and furious. The type of responses given were not unexpected, like:
How can one love more than one person? If you say you love one for different needs, different personalities, thats a bit bias, isn't it? If you can do that, would you like it do be done onto you?
A sign of being "in love" with someone is that you are able to be 100% monogamous and faithful to that person and do not even give a second thought to bringing a third (or fourth or fifth) party into the equation or worse still looking outside the relationship for SO CALLED "specific needs" to be fulfilled. If the above is not the case then just please face the fact that you are not really "in love" with the person.
If you can't decide who you are most in love with, or you think you are equally in love with two persons, then, you are most in love with YOURSELF!
After that, there were views which state said that it was OK to them, as long as the people involved are fair to each other but still they cannot really accept it. There were more opposing than agreeing on this kind of arrangement.
Personally, I understand that most initial reactions would be what a selfish bastard that person is. How greedy! What a jerk!
Could it be because of our exposure to things such as a husband having a mistress with the long-suffering wife ignored or husbands taking in more than one wife? Of the latter, there are numerous Chinese serials depicting how the wives are unhappy and compete with each other for the husband's attention.
In both instances, we usually pity the wives and blame the husband. Very seldom that the household are in harmony and both wives get along well with each other with the husband showering equal care and love.
In a gay threesome, wouldn't you expect it to be different? All and each of the three persons are capable of loving the other two, unlike a one-man-two-woman arrangement. It is quite unlikely and almost unfathomable, though not impossible, that the two women would have a lesbian affair.
True, it would be difficult to maintain such an arrangement. There are TWO persons feelings and needs to take care off, thus more difficult to manage.
Though from another point of view, one could also say that one person has two other people taking care of his needs and who wouldn't like that?
Ultimately, the giving and taking would amount be the same.
Of course, there is also the concern of what if two of the three like each other more and start to ignore or worse still, ditch the third? What if the other two are spending more time with each other and the third feels neglected and even a little jealous?
But really, how is this any different from a two person relationship? Even in such a relationship, one person might still feel slighted by the other like not spending enough time together, for whatever reason such as work or hanging out with his other friends? There is also the common occurrence of one's partner cheating with another person.
Some have commented that such arrangements are acceptable as why be bounded by traditional norms, either through centuries of practice, religion or simply because it is "not done" and "frowned upon".
To me, it seems to imply that it is as if anything goes in the gay community; as if whatever the heterosexuals are doing and we're doing it differently, we should be accepting of it. Afterall, we are all for diversity, aren't we?
I am rather uncomfortable with such a train of thought. It is as if we're accepting something for the sake of diversity, as long as it not too overboard. Heck, even if it's too overboard, it's OK coz we're gay!
Personally, I believe it is something acceptable because hey, it works for them! If three people really love amongst themselves and can managed comfortably in a ménage à trois, well, good for them! Why not do it just because no one else you know is in a similar position?
As someone correctly pointed out, monogamous relationship aren't that great either. It is fraught with problems and issues. With three persons, the disagreements may tripled or quadrupled exponentially, by with three heads, who knows, it may be solvable.
In addition, is our capacity to love so limited and only to one person at any one time? That we can't love two different people at one time?
Someone else pointed out that we do love different people at different times in our lives i.e. from one relationship to another.
What if we love two at one time? Must the option be always choose one or the other?
Of course, not everyone can manage such a complex arrangement. I don't even know how do you start one!
Would it be like, "X, this is Z. Z, this is X. I love the both of you equally and I don't think I can choose one over the other, let's see whether the both of you can work something out."
Many are readily to admit that coping with one other half is already difficult, but with two, no thanks man!
Fair enough. I would concur too.
It is already taking up a lot of time to date, placate, support, watch movies, withstand the mood swings, understand, listen, care for, make decisions together, compromise with, etc our partner, what more partners.
But somehow, a lot of people still think of it as "main kayu tiga" (unfaithful or affair). How can something be unfaithful which implies dishonesty and cheating, when all three know about each other and everything is in the open?
The variables are more, certainly. Hence, it would take three very committed, open-minded, wonderful listeners and communicators and whatever other characters that are possibly more in supply than the rest of us, to make such an arrangement doable, feasable and manageable.
Or maybe it's simply loads and loads of luck!
As for myself, I would say that it is not something suitable for me. One person is enough, unless I have the hands of fate serve me another person who loves me a lot and who happens to love my current partner too.
That would be something to be decided if and when it happens, as it is rather unlikely and remote.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with love at all.
Perhaps the formula that makes it work is simpler and it's just three persons enjoying each other's company so much and they can have romantic feelings for each other.
Two weeks ago, a member of the Yahoogroup that I am subscribed to, posted a message regarding three persons in a relationship.
"Can a person fall in love with 2 different people at the same time? If he chooses both and gives both his very best, will that make him unfaithful to either one? :-("
The next reply to the post was someone admitting to having two boyfriends and both of them know the existence of the other.
Almost immediately, the replies came fast and furious. The type of responses given were not unexpected, like:
How can one love more than one person? If you say you love one for different needs, different personalities, thats a bit bias, isn't it? If you can do that, would you like it do be done onto you?
A sign of being "in love" with someone is that you are able to be 100% monogamous and faithful to that person and do not even give a second thought to bringing a third (or fourth or fifth) party into the equation or worse still looking outside the relationship for SO CALLED "specific needs" to be fulfilled. If the above is not the case then just please face the fact that you are not really "in love" with the person.
If you can't decide who you are most in love with, or you think you are equally in love with two persons, then, you are most in love with YOURSELF!
After that, there were views which state said that it was OK to them, as long as the people involved are fair to each other but still they cannot really accept it. There were more opposing than agreeing on this kind of arrangement.
Personally, I understand that most initial reactions would be what a selfish bastard that person is. How greedy! What a jerk!
Could it be because of our exposure to things such as a husband having a mistress with the long-suffering wife ignored or husbands taking in more than one wife? Of the latter, there are numerous Chinese serials depicting how the wives are unhappy and compete with each other for the husband's attention.
In both instances, we usually pity the wives and blame the husband. Very seldom that the household are in harmony and both wives get along well with each other with the husband showering equal care and love.
In a gay threesome, wouldn't you expect it to be different? All and each of the three persons are capable of loving the other two, unlike a one-man-two-woman arrangement. It is quite unlikely and almost unfathomable, though not impossible, that the two women would have a lesbian affair.
True, it would be difficult to maintain such an arrangement. There are TWO persons feelings and needs to take care off, thus more difficult to manage.
Though from another point of view, one could also say that one person has two other people taking care of his needs and who wouldn't like that?
Ultimately, the giving and taking would amount be the same.
Of course, there is also the concern of what if two of the three like each other more and start to ignore or worse still, ditch the third? What if the other two are spending more time with each other and the third feels neglected and even a little jealous?
But really, how is this any different from a two person relationship? Even in such a relationship, one person might still feel slighted by the other like not spending enough time together, for whatever reason such as work or hanging out with his other friends? There is also the common occurrence of one's partner cheating with another person.
Some have commented that such arrangements are acceptable as why be bounded by traditional norms, either through centuries of practice, religion or simply because it is "not done" and "frowned upon".
To me, it seems to imply that it is as if anything goes in the gay community; as if whatever the heterosexuals are doing and we're doing it differently, we should be accepting of it. Afterall, we are all for diversity, aren't we?
I am rather uncomfortable with such a train of thought. It is as if we're accepting something for the sake of diversity, as long as it not too overboard. Heck, even if it's too overboard, it's OK coz we're gay!
Personally, I believe it is something acceptable because hey, it works for them! If three people really love amongst themselves and can managed comfortably in a ménage à trois, well, good for them! Why not do it just because no one else you know is in a similar position?
As someone correctly pointed out, monogamous relationship aren't that great either. It is fraught with problems and issues. With three persons, the disagreements may tripled or quadrupled exponentially, by with three heads, who knows, it may be solvable.
In addition, is our capacity to love so limited and only to one person at any one time? That we can't love two different people at one time?
Someone else pointed out that we do love different people at different times in our lives i.e. from one relationship to another.
What if we love two at one time? Must the option be always choose one or the other?
Of course, not everyone can manage such a complex arrangement. I don't even know how do you start one!
Would it be like, "X, this is Z. Z, this is X. I love the both of you equally and I don't think I can choose one over the other, let's see whether the both of you can work something out."
Many are readily to admit that coping with one other half is already difficult, but with two, no thanks man!
Fair enough. I would concur too.
It is already taking up a lot of time to date, placate, support, watch movies, withstand the mood swings, understand, listen, care for, make decisions together, compromise with, etc our partner, what more partners.
But somehow, a lot of people still think of it as "main kayu tiga" (unfaithful or affair). How can something be unfaithful which implies dishonesty and cheating, when all three know about each other and everything is in the open?
The variables are more, certainly. Hence, it would take three very committed, open-minded, wonderful listeners and communicators and whatever other characters that are possibly more in supply than the rest of us, to make such an arrangement doable, feasable and manageable.
Or maybe it's simply loads and loads of luck!
As for myself, I would say that it is not something suitable for me. One person is enough, unless I have the hands of fate serve me another person who loves me a lot and who happens to love my current partner too.
That would be something to be decided if and when it happens, as it is rather unlikely and remote.
Perhaps it has nothing to do with love at all.
Perhaps the formula that makes it work is simpler and it's just three persons enjoying each other's company so much and they can have romantic feelings for each other.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Ménage à trois
Can three persons be in a relationship? As in, can a person have two boyfriends and both the boyfriends know each other and all three are in a relationship together?
Please discuss or comment. ;P
Please discuss or comment. ;P
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Jack and the Beansprout
The day after my little embarrassing experience, I woke up with a headache. Not a serious one, just a mild ache on the right side of my cranium but painful enough to make me not want to get out of bed.
But get up I must, as I have bought tickets to a musical / pantomime called "Jack and the Beansprout". I bought two tickets end of last month to take advantage of the early bird discount.
The musical was at the National Library. I was still feeling somewhat sick from last night and didn't feel like eating at all even though I hadn't eaten anything since the night before.
But I force myself to have a sandwich just before the show started.
Anyway, it is pretty obvious that it's a local take on the fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack's mom was played by Ivan Heng, the Artistic Director of W!ld Rice production house itself.
And damn, this guy is really good in drag. He literally brought the house down with his antics.
This was not really a gay play, but more like for children in conjunction with the school holidays and Christmas. Hence, about half the attendees were children.
In addition, there were interactions with the crowd, something like an interactive play. Jack, played by Sebastian Tan who by the way looks kinda cute in secondary school uniform with knee-length pants, would ask the crowd "Should Jack continue to climb or go down?"
Of course, the adults were not forgotten as there were some "adult" jokes which were lost on the kids. But maybe not, seeing nowadays how kids can be pretty smart.
There were a few phrases in Hokkien, which I could not understand. But I still laughed anyway, as I could vaguely guessed the correct meaning. I think.
The supporting actors were fabulous as well. The harp and the golden goose could really sing well and their voices were superb.
As for the songs, some of them are really catchy. All very up-tempo and upbeat.
One character that was really cute is Bamboo, the Giant's housekeeper. She was dressed in those cute Japanese dresses which are quite outrageous and which you would only find girls wearing them in Japan.
The thing that was really adorable about her was how she made all those exaggerated gestures when she is happy or sad. Like those you see in manga or anime.
In fact, when she cried, she actually used her hands and draw out half M's from her eyes, like she was making a McDonald's sign but starting from both her eyes.
Really kawaii and funny! I was laughing like mad!
Overall, I really enjoyed the show. Though it was a bit draggy at two and a half hours, it didn't feel that long and it managed to keep me entertained for the most up.
But get up I must, as I have bought tickets to a musical / pantomime called "Jack and the Beansprout". I bought two tickets end of last month to take advantage of the early bird discount.
The musical was at the National Library. I was still feeling somewhat sick from last night and didn't feel like eating at all even though I hadn't eaten anything since the night before.
But I force myself to have a sandwich just before the show started.
Anyway, it is pretty obvious that it's a local take on the fairy tale Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack's mom was played by Ivan Heng, the Artistic Director of W!ld Rice production house itself.
And damn, this guy is really good in drag. He literally brought the house down with his antics.
This was not really a gay play, but more like for children in conjunction with the school holidays and Christmas. Hence, about half the attendees were children.
In addition, there were interactions with the crowd, something like an interactive play. Jack, played by Sebastian Tan who by the way looks kinda cute in secondary school uniform with knee-length pants, would ask the crowd "Should Jack continue to climb or go down?"
Of course, the adults were not forgotten as there were some "adult" jokes which were lost on the kids. But maybe not, seeing nowadays how kids can be pretty smart.
There were a few phrases in Hokkien, which I could not understand. But I still laughed anyway, as I could vaguely guessed the correct meaning. I think.
The supporting actors were fabulous as well. The harp and the golden goose could really sing well and their voices were superb.
As for the songs, some of them are really catchy. All very up-tempo and upbeat.
One character that was really cute is Bamboo, the Giant's housekeeper. She was dressed in those cute Japanese dresses which are quite outrageous and which you would only find girls wearing them in Japan.
The thing that was really adorable about her was how she made all those exaggerated gestures when she is happy or sad. Like those you see in manga or anime.
In fact, when she cried, she actually used her hands and draw out half M's from her eyes, like she was making a McDonald's sign but starting from both her eyes.
Really kawaii and funny! I was laughing like mad!
Overall, I really enjoyed the show. Though it was a bit draggy at two and a half hours, it didn't feel that long and it managed to keep me entertained for the most up.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Inebriated II
I have been swamped at work for the past week because of the auditors. In addition, my boss has just left the company.
So now, I am boss-less and manager-less. I deal straight with my MD, which is bad and good.
For the past three weeks, I have been meeting lots of people. Which is good, because I now have people to hang out whenever I need someone. The downside is that I haven't had much time for myself.
For the past four weekends except for this one, I have been out clubbing. I am already tired of it.
It's great when it's with a bunch of friends or when I am really stressed out and need to let my hair down. Otherwise, it's just going for the sake of going.
Besides, I need more than one day to recover. When I reach home in the wee of hours of the morning, I could barely sleep. I am not sure whether it's the alcohol or me taking a longer time to wind down, but I could never sleep soundly. I will probably be awake by 9 am and maybe get a couple of hours of sleep in the afternoon.
I definitely need more than 5 hours of sleep a day!
For every one hour of lost sleep, one needs two hours to compensate. So for the rest of the week, I would be half conscious and zombie-like.
Nothing of significance happened, except that I was at a party on Friday. There was another one yesterday, but I didn't go as I wanted to recuperate from my slightly excessive alcohol binge.
Actually, I do know when to stop. I know what my limits are. I was pretty OK when I left the host's house. But once I got into the car and it started moving, the motion was unbearable and I felt ill.
The alcohol effect was immediate.
I knew where I was and what I was doing. I could hear other people's voices but my eyelids were heavy.
I puked on the roadside and I was taken to a petrol station's toilet to puke some more. But actually there wasn't anything else to come out.
Getting back into the car, there was occasionally the feeling of more wanting to come out, but I think I only puked one more time.
Really, this is the first time I have had it this bad. I still think it was all because of the motion sickness that made it worse.
The other people in the car were kind enough to take good care of me and especially holding the bag for me.
Thanks, guys! Thanks too for guiding me up back to my flat and to the front door.
Anyway, I was identified as a "drunken prawn" in the mailing list the very next day. No thanks to the work of theevil friend who drove me back home.
The drunken prawn got home safely, thanks to all those who nursed him all the way back, although he attracted considerable attention from curious motorists wondering why he was topless, comatose and clutching a plastic bag.
When I left the party, I was looking alright and no way anyone would have thought I would be ill!
Thankfully, I didn't know that many people at the party. Ten, max.
And hopefully, not many remember my name! ;P
So now, I am boss-less and manager-less. I deal straight with my MD, which is bad and good.
For the past three weeks, I have been meeting lots of people. Which is good, because I now have people to hang out whenever I need someone. The downside is that I haven't had much time for myself.
For the past four weekends except for this one, I have been out clubbing. I am already tired of it.
It's great when it's with a bunch of friends or when I am really stressed out and need to let my hair down. Otherwise, it's just going for the sake of going.
Besides, I need more than one day to recover. When I reach home in the wee of hours of the morning, I could barely sleep. I am not sure whether it's the alcohol or me taking a longer time to wind down, but I could never sleep soundly. I will probably be awake by 9 am and maybe get a couple of hours of sleep in the afternoon.
I definitely need more than 5 hours of sleep a day!
For every one hour of lost sleep, one needs two hours to compensate. So for the rest of the week, I would be half conscious and zombie-like.
Nothing of significance happened, except that I was at a party on Friday. There was another one yesterday, but I didn't go as I wanted to recuperate from my slightly excessive alcohol binge.
Actually, I do know when to stop. I know what my limits are. I was pretty OK when I left the host's house. But once I got into the car and it started moving, the motion was unbearable and I felt ill.
The alcohol effect was immediate.
I knew where I was and what I was doing. I could hear other people's voices but my eyelids were heavy.
I puked on the roadside and I was taken to a petrol station's toilet to puke some more. But actually there wasn't anything else to come out.
Getting back into the car, there was occasionally the feeling of more wanting to come out, but I think I only puked one more time.
Really, this is the first time I have had it this bad. I still think it was all because of the motion sickness that made it worse.
The other people in the car were kind enough to take good care of me and especially holding the bag for me.
Thanks, guys! Thanks too for guiding me up back to my flat and to the front door.
Anyway, I was identified as a "drunken prawn" in the mailing list the very next day. No thanks to the work of the
The drunken prawn got home safely, thanks to all those who nursed him all the way back, although he attracted considerable attention from curious motorists wondering why he was topless, comatose and clutching a plastic bag.
When I left the party, I was looking alright and no way anyone would have thought I would be ill!
Thankfully, I didn't know that many people at the party. Ten, max.
And hopefully, not many remember my name! ;P
Friday, November 24, 2006
Hard love
Someone asked how come I am writing a lot of emo stuff now.
But if you look properly, it was only the last two posts!
I was going through some of the blogs on my links and found two which have a common theme - gay relationships and how it is different from straight ones and how they more often than not fail.
First of all, I understand where they are coming from. Either from their own experiences or observation of their gay friends, gay couples seems to be breaking quite often.
Or maybe, when one is unsure or insecure about their current relationships, they start to wonder. It is a very normal reaction and even I have it sometimes.
Questions like, will this last? Would he continue to love me ten years from now? Would his heart and mind start to wander?
What I personally disagree is the emphasis on differences of gay and straight relationships.
I don't see how the both are different, besides the obvious fact of the sexes. Just like a straight guy and a gay guy is only different in what turns them on sexually, the former being breasts and pussies and the latter penises.
A romantic relationship is a romantic relationship - a foundation and connection between two people to build and nurture. No two people are alike - two guys or one guy and one girl. Thus, no two relationships are alike.
In fact, a guy and a girl are waaaay more different in thinking. So logically, if a relationship were to work it should be two guys since well ... both of them are guys and should theoretically think more alike.
Okay-lar, unless you want to argue about how opposites attract, one soft and one hard, yin and yang, etc.
Or how two gays but very straight and Neantherdal-thinking guys who can't express their emotions properly and tend to pent up type cannot possibly together ....
Admittedly there are differences.
The breeders tend have a common goal - to propagate the human race by having children. If they don't have such a goal, rest assured that they will when they reach age thirty, thanks to busybody relatives or gossiping colleagues or friends.
We don't have a common goal, at least not one defined by marriage or children. We want someone for companionship, to be there when we are in need, to bitch and whine to, etc.
Of course, the society's support is important too. Notice how even people that the couple don't know, like their aunt's brother's son's cousin's friend, would suddenly turn up at their weddings and wish them congratulations.
It's likesome people who are too free and only goal in life society's only role is to get every single men and women attached to someone and to attend weddings.
If one were to look at statistics, more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. And the divorce rate is increasing in Asian countries too.
So yeah, the straights don't have it better. They just break up much later.
I am sure you have heard of cheating husbands who walked out on their wives after twenty years of marriage and two children.
Which goes to show that straight relationships are just as bad. And children doesn't necessarily can make a marriage last.
The things that will make a relationship work are deeper and harder to work at. Like a common goal, shared dreams and similar interests.
I can't remember where I have read this, but an article says that for guys, doing things together (not just sex!) is important. They are better off and able keep the relationship alive longer. Guys bond by doing things, not just by communication and talking about emotional or personal stuff.
Which is very true. It doesn't matter if one likes to paint while the other likes to go clubbing, as long as there are a few things which both like to do and spend quality time together, like cooking or watching movies.
It's undeniable that gay relationships are harder to work at, simply because there is not much societal support and when many gay men and women are still in the closet.
It's very rare that one can bring the boyfriend home and say, "Mom and Dad, meet my boyfriend/husband/significant other, Channing Tatum."
No one to give you advice, no one to turn to, no one to ask how things should be done besides your other gay friends or close girl friends.
So basically, it is simply harder because the relationship has to be made stronger from within and from the both of them, rather than from the outside or from parents / friends / relatives / society.
It takes more work also harder simply because both are guys.
I am not saying men cannot be monogamous; it's a matter of willpower and discipline.
Furthermore, as there is a lack of external forces to bind a gay relationship together and usually it is only the internal parties that do most of the work, the ropes that bind two people together may break more easily.
Which goes back to the point of making the rope stronger and this needs lots of commitment and discipline from both parties.
This is not helped by the phenomenon of so-called popular gay culture - clubbing, youth-worshipping, easy sex, etc.
Not many supportive people + Temptations of instant gratification = Easier break-ups
Okay, I think I have veered off my point.
But essentially, a gay relationship needs more work. A gay relationship is not doomed just because it's a gay relationship.
Or maybe I am just an idealistic fool and refuse to face the truth. ;P
From my speaking with other people, they say that one cannot party and club and have dark-room sex forever. The time would come when they would want to settle down and desire the stability of a relationship.
So the question is, when is that time?
Also, long-lasting relationships tend to form when one is closer to thirties. Perhaps at that stage, one is more stable financially and emotionally and has a clearer idea of his needs and wants.
Obviously, there are exceptions. There are people who want to settle down and not fool around when they are only twenty.
In fact, I think many of us grew up with fairy tales of happily ever after and movies and serials on TV that we might prefer to find someone for a long term and stable relationship and forgo the sleeping around and easy sex.
There are many people who think like that. You just have to find them.
When they are found, it doesn't mean the search is over. You haven't arrive at the destination yet.
It's only the beginning. The journey to happiness and contentment is a long and hard one.
But if you look properly, it was only the last two posts!
I was going through some of the blogs on my links and found two which have a common theme - gay relationships and how it is different from straight ones and how they more often than not fail.
First of all, I understand where they are coming from. Either from their own experiences or observation of their gay friends, gay couples seems to be breaking quite often.
Or maybe, when one is unsure or insecure about their current relationships, they start to wonder. It is a very normal reaction and even I have it sometimes.
Questions like, will this last? Would he continue to love me ten years from now? Would his heart and mind start to wander?
What I personally disagree is the emphasis on differences of gay and straight relationships.
I don't see how the both are different, besides the obvious fact of the sexes. Just like a straight guy and a gay guy is only different in what turns them on sexually, the former being breasts and pussies and the latter penises.
A romantic relationship is a romantic relationship - a foundation and connection between two people to build and nurture. No two people are alike - two guys or one guy and one girl. Thus, no two relationships are alike.
In fact, a guy and a girl are waaaay more different in thinking. So logically, if a relationship were to work it should be two guys since well ... both of them are guys and should theoretically think more alike.
Okay-lar, unless you want to argue about how opposites attract, one soft and one hard, yin and yang, etc.
Or how two gays but very straight and Neantherdal-thinking guys who can't express their emotions properly and tend to pent up type cannot possibly together ....
Admittedly there are differences.
The breeders tend have a common goal - to propagate the human race by having children. If they don't have such a goal, rest assured that they will when they reach age thirty, thanks to busybody relatives or gossiping colleagues or friends.
We don't have a common goal, at least not one defined by marriage or children. We want someone for companionship, to be there when we are in need, to bitch and whine to, etc.
Of course, the society's support is important too. Notice how even people that the couple don't know, like their aunt's brother's son's cousin's friend, would suddenly turn up at their weddings and wish them congratulations.
It's like
If one were to look at statistics, more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. And the divorce rate is increasing in Asian countries too.
So yeah, the straights don't have it better. They just break up much later.
I am sure you have heard of cheating husbands who walked out on their wives after twenty years of marriage and two children.
Which goes to show that straight relationships are just as bad. And children doesn't necessarily can make a marriage last.
The things that will make a relationship work are deeper and harder to work at. Like a common goal, shared dreams and similar interests.
I can't remember where I have read this, but an article says that for guys, doing things together (not just sex!) is important. They are better off and able keep the relationship alive longer. Guys bond by doing things, not just by communication and talking about emotional or personal stuff.
Which is very true. It doesn't matter if one likes to paint while the other likes to go clubbing, as long as there are a few things which both like to do and spend quality time together, like cooking or watching movies.
It's undeniable that gay relationships are harder to work at, simply because there is not much societal support and when many gay men and women are still in the closet.
It's very rare that one can bring the boyfriend home and say, "Mom and Dad, meet my boyfriend/husband/significant other, Channing Tatum."
No one to give you advice, no one to turn to, no one to ask how things should be done besides your other gay friends or close girl friends.
So basically, it is simply harder because the relationship has to be made stronger from within and from the both of them, rather than from the outside or from parents / friends / relatives / society.
It takes more work also harder simply because both are guys.
I am not saying men cannot be monogamous; it's a matter of willpower and discipline.
Furthermore, as there is a lack of external forces to bind a gay relationship together and usually it is only the internal parties that do most of the work, the ropes that bind two people together may break more easily.
Which goes back to the point of making the rope stronger and this needs lots of commitment and discipline from both parties.
This is not helped by the phenomenon of so-called popular gay culture - clubbing, youth-worshipping, easy sex, etc.
Not many supportive people + Temptations of instant gratification = Easier break-ups
Okay, I think I have veered off my point.
But essentially, a gay relationship needs more work. A gay relationship is not doomed just because it's a gay relationship.
Or maybe I am just an idealistic fool and refuse to face the truth. ;P
From my speaking with other people, they say that one cannot party and club and have dark-room sex forever. The time would come when they would want to settle down and desire the stability of a relationship.
So the question is, when is that time?
Also, long-lasting relationships tend to form when one is closer to thirties. Perhaps at that stage, one is more stable financially and emotionally and has a clearer idea of his needs and wants.
Obviously, there are exceptions. There are people who want to settle down and not fool around when they are only twenty.
In fact, I think many of us grew up with fairy tales of happily ever after and movies and serials on TV that we might prefer to find someone for a long term and stable relationship and forgo the sleeping around and easy sex.
There are many people who think like that. You just have to find them.
When they are found, it doesn't mean the search is over. You haven't arrive at the destination yet.
It's only the beginning. The journey to happiness and contentment is a long and hard one.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
The beginning of the end
Thank you for the words of encouragement and support. It’s amazing how barely less than 24 hours of my posting that you guys have responded with your comments.
In fact, this eventuality was not unexpected. With his less than enthusiastic response to my calls and him never calling me save once, the end was in sight.
I suppose it was never meant to be and I was too in love with him to see that. Funny how one looks at things differently went one is in love. Nothing seems impossible.
The signs were all there.
Thus, when I called him a few days before my Phuket trip next month, we cleared things up. He made his feelings, or lack of, be known after some prompting from me.
He said, “Did you find someone new?”
“No, that’s not it. It’s better to clarify things than to leave them unclear.”
“Are we still a couple then?” I asked.
“Yeah. We’ll see how when I come back next year. We’ll talk about it then.”
It didn’t really make much sense, because we didn’t do anything that resembles a couple anymore.
I have no idea why, but I acquiesced.
Initially, I was hopeful that things would improve. But after some serious thought and a clearer perspective on things, I realised things would be better this way.
It wasn’t that difficult letting go, even though I loved him a lot. I still do.
No, I am not pining for him or clutching at straws.
When feelings are not reciprocated or when one’s efforts are not appreciated sufficiently, it does make things easier.
I am human after all. I do need love and care in return. It gets tiresome and frustrating if it only goes one way.
Not that I am blaming him, of course. This sort of things happen. I was his first crush, which turned into a relationship. And as we know, crushes very seldom last unless both parties work at it.
Anyway, when we started, we said that we were supposed to see how things go. To gauge our compatibility and our feelings for each other.
Somehow, somewhere, it turned into something serious.
We had frequently joked about how incompatible we are. About how things could be different if he had graduated from university. About how different we are, like the sky and the earth.
Perhaps we are too different.
It was great while it lasted. I hoped I had made him happy and felt loved, even though there were moments of anger and hurt.
Do not cry that it is over, but smile that it happened. ;P
Cliché, but very true in my situation.
In fact, this eventuality was not unexpected. With his less than enthusiastic response to my calls and him never calling me save once, the end was in sight.
I suppose it was never meant to be and I was too in love with him to see that. Funny how one looks at things differently went one is in love. Nothing seems impossible.
The signs were all there.
Thus, when I called him a few days before my Phuket trip next month, we cleared things up. He made his feelings, or lack of, be known after some prompting from me.
He said, “Did you find someone new?”
“No, that’s not it. It’s better to clarify things than to leave them unclear.”
“Are we still a couple then?” I asked.
“Yeah. We’ll see how when I come back next year. We’ll talk about it then.”
It didn’t really make much sense, because we didn’t do anything that resembles a couple anymore.
I have no idea why, but I acquiesced.
Initially, I was hopeful that things would improve. But after some serious thought and a clearer perspective on things, I realised things would be better this way.
It wasn’t that difficult letting go, even though I loved him a lot. I still do.
No, I am not pining for him or clutching at straws.
When feelings are not reciprocated or when one’s efforts are not appreciated sufficiently, it does make things easier.
I am human after all. I do need love and care in return. It gets tiresome and frustrating if it only goes one way.
Not that I am blaming him, of course. This sort of things happen. I was his first crush, which turned into a relationship. And as we know, crushes very seldom last unless both parties work at it.
Anyway, when we started, we said that we were supposed to see how things go. To gauge our compatibility and our feelings for each other.
Somehow, somewhere, it turned into something serious.
We had frequently joked about how incompatible we are. About how things could be different if he had graduated from university. About how different we are, like the sky and the earth.
Perhaps we are too different.
It was great while it lasted. I hoped I had made him happy and felt loved, even though there were moments of anger and hurt.
Do not cry that it is over, but smile that it happened. ;P
Cliché, but very true in my situation.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
No longer am I
I was asked recently, why I haven't mention a particular someone for a very long time in my blog.
In fact, I have been asked occasionally about it by friends who know us.
My reply was "Drawing a picture does not need one to draw the intestines too". It's a Chinese proverb, meaning that some things are just obvious and doesn't need an explanation.
Come to think of it, that sounded a bit sarcastic. I am sure he meant well when he asked.
Sorry.
Anyway, the reason he has not been mentioned is because no longer am I in his thoughts in the way I should be.
No longer am I being seen with eyes that long for me.
Hearing my voice no longer makes the heart beat faster. Or bring a smile to his face.
No longer am I an important part of his life.
It is no longer.
In fact, I have been asked occasionally about it by friends who know us.
My reply was "Drawing a picture does not need one to draw the intestines too". It's a Chinese proverb, meaning that some things are just obvious and doesn't need an explanation.
Come to think of it, that sounded a bit sarcastic. I am sure he meant well when he asked.
Sorry.
Anyway, the reason he has not been mentioned is because no longer am I in his thoughts in the way I should be.
No longer am I being seen with eyes that long for me.
Hearing my voice no longer makes the heart beat faster. Or bring a smile to his face.
No longer am I an important part of his life.
It is no longer.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
It's all about me
I know what I should be doing, yet I am not doing it. I should be studying but I am doing everything else besides studying.
Balance is key; moderation is the solution.
Somehow, there seem to be lots of things to be done. More fun stuff. Movies, clubbing, karaoke, shopping, swimming ....
Why do people get attracted to those that seem impossible to be with or that they have very little in common?
Perhaps it's what people call physical attraction. That wink, that cheeky smile, that infectious laugh, that nonchalant attitude, etc.
The things that matter fade into the background.
Perhaps I don't know what I want yet. I thought I do.
I have always thought of myself as confident and secure. But when I am with the person that I am fond of, it's hard to be like that.
Especially if the other person is more confident and more self-assured. More spontaneous, funnier. All the mores that I am not.
On the other hand, when I am with someone a little unsure, I tend to feel taller. Bigger. Not in the sense of showing off or swelling with pride, but more like brotherly kind of attention would be showered on him.
Like I have been there and done that. And now it is your turn and this is how it is going to be like.
I can simply be myself.
When I am in the presence of someone smarter, more experienced and more self-assured, I seem to be not able to hold my own.
As someone I know would describe it, in gay and somewhat stereotypical terms, I become somewhat "bottommy" when I am with so-called "toppish" personality type people and vice versa.
If that even makes sense to you.
Another thing is I am not one trained in the art of subtlety. People would know if I am happy or unhappy by just looking at me.
Or if I like someone.
I am just like an open book.
I realise it's something I have to work on.
Because sometimes, subtlety is called for. That restraint is essential. That people change and feelings are unpredictable.
That in the end, I am me and everything comes back to me.
Work in progress.
Balance is key; moderation is the solution.
Somehow, there seem to be lots of things to be done. More fun stuff. Movies, clubbing, karaoke, shopping, swimming ....
Why do people get attracted to those that seem impossible to be with or that they have very little in common?
Perhaps it's what people call physical attraction. That wink, that cheeky smile, that infectious laugh, that nonchalant attitude, etc.
The things that matter fade into the background.
Perhaps I don't know what I want yet. I thought I do.
I have always thought of myself as confident and secure. But when I am with the person that I am fond of, it's hard to be like that.
Especially if the other person is more confident and more self-assured. More spontaneous, funnier. All the mores that I am not.
On the other hand, when I am with someone a little unsure, I tend to feel taller. Bigger. Not in the sense of showing off or swelling with pride, but more like brotherly kind of attention would be showered on him.
Like I have been there and done that. And now it is your turn and this is how it is going to be like.
I can simply be myself.
When I am in the presence of someone smarter, more experienced and more self-assured, I seem to be not able to hold my own.
As someone I know would describe it, in gay and somewhat stereotypical terms, I become somewhat "bottommy" when I am with so-called "toppish" personality type people and vice versa.
If that even makes sense to you.
Another thing is I am not one trained in the art of subtlety. People would know if I am happy or unhappy by just looking at me.
Or if I like someone.
I am just like an open book.
I realise it's something I have to work on.
Because sometimes, subtlety is called for. That restraint is essential. That people change and feelings are unpredictable.
That in the end, I am me and everything comes back to me.
Work in progress.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)