When is your turn?

On Saturday, it was LPG’s monthly coffee night. It was organized potluck style at Eric's apartment.

Anyway, I have asked CF and Legolas to come along for the coffee nitght. We bought fried rice and fried hokkien mee from Midvalley, as we were there for CF’s haircut.

There was quite a large turn out; more than 30 people in Eric’s apartment. The choice of food was excellent as well. There were pastries, roast duck, chicken, water melon and red bean for dessert, cheese cake, etc.

There were quite a number of familiar faces. A few of my hikemates were there. Someone brought his three year old kid along.

CF being a child-lover (not the Michael Jackson kind, mind you) was playing with him. A lot. Too much actually.

Until the extent that when CF tried to pull himself away, he was dragged by that kid to play some more.

And when I pulled CF towards me, away from the clutches of Chuckie the boy hit me. He actually hit me!

What an attention-whore he is. Hmmph. I suppose I should forgive him as I have CF's attention most of the time.

After everyone has eaten, we got around to discussing how to reply when asked that perennially annoying question to all gay men – when are you getting married? It is Chinese New Year this Sunday and that is when we meet the relatives, whether we like it or not. During CNY, relatives whom you don't meet for the rest of the year suddenly become very concerned about your social life.

The aunties will say this every year “Here’s your ang pau. This is the laaaast time I am giving you.” Obviously, they have to stress that word.

[Only singles and children get ang pau (red packets with money), as a sign of blessing from elders and married couples.]

Someone cheekily said “Why aunty? You won’t be around anymore?”

Of course, one should never ever say that.

Here are some other useful and witty responses, thanks to Rice Paper.

1. I have tried very hard to date a girl I like, but she turned out to be a lesbian. In fact, all the girls I am attracted to all turned out to prefer women.

2. I am still looking for a local girl who is a virgin. Tough luck, cannot find one.

3. Aunty, I am still looking for a girl that is as good as you. Too bad still cannot find one.

4. No money to get married. Can you be my financial sponsor? Perhaps RM500,000 is necessary for a married couple.

5. If I am single, I get money hong-biao (red packets) from relatives. If I am married, I have to give people hong biao. Tell me which makes more economical sense: to be single or to be married. It’s better to receive than to give.

6. Who needs a wife ? I’ve got cable TV.

7. I think of marriage as an institution. I'm not sure I'm ready to be institutionalized.

8. Sorry, I dont take “dead clams”. (I don't get this either.)

9. Singapore government has a plot to get everyone there married and produce babies. We Malaysians don't have to follow what Singaporean authorities say.

10. If our 53 year old uncle gets married, and if our divorced aunt remarries, then I will find a girl to get married.

11. No girl will want a guy that is short and fat like me.

12. Finding a partner is like looking for a parking space. All the lots are either taken or are for the handicapped.

13. (if you are lesbian): I havent met Mr. Right, but I have met Mr. Cheap, Mr. Rude and Mr. Married.

14. (if you are lesbian): All the good men are either taken or gay.

15. A lot of my friends are gay, so I don't meet many women.

16. Well, after all these years I have not met a girl that appeals to me. Do you think I could be gay?

17. I don't want a girl to be my wife, I want her to be my sister.

18. I like women and men, and dont know which to choose. If I choose a woman, my boyfriend will get angry. If I choose a man, my girlfriend will get jealous. So better be single.

19. I keep forgetting to get married. Remind me next year.

20. If you ask me “when is my turn next” (to get married), I will ask you in someone’s funeral when your turn will be next.

For more ideas, check this out.

Fortunately, I don't get asked by relatives a lot, as to them, I am still (relatively) young.

After the gathering, I felt a bit bad as Legolas wasn’t mixing around much. I did make the effort to introduce him to the other people though. After the gathering, he said that he prefers smaller groups. Is it because there is more intimacy then? ;P

Oh well. I will try to arrange for smaller groups the next time.

To my readers who celebrate Chinese New Year, Kong Hei Fatt Choy and Man Shi Yu Yi!

Have a wonderful and prosperous Year of the Fire Dog!