My colleagues sometimes ask me whether I think their friends are gay or not and I will go through that guy's friends list to determine his sexuality.
Obviously this is not a foolproof way to tell but I think it is pretty accurate. Logically speaking, how many gay friends would a straight guy have? I would say none or at most zero.
Unless that guy happens to work in the creative industry like fashion or hairdressing.
So when I found this article, its findings are not surprising. To cater for someone who doesn't like reading long articles, these are the key paragraphs.
Using data from the social network Facebook, they made a striking discovery: just by looking at a person’s online friends, they could predict whether the person was gay. They did this with a software program that looked at the gender and sexuality of a person’s friends and, using statistical analysis, made a prediction.
The two students had no way of checking all of their predictions, but based on their own knowledge outside the Facebook world, their computer program appeared quite accurate for men, they said. People may be effectively “outing” themselves just by the virtual company they keep.
The idea behind the MIT work, done in 2007, is as old as the adage that birds of a feather flock together. For years, sociologists have known of the “homophily principle” - the tendency for similar people to group together. People of one race tend to have spouses, confidants, and friends of the same race, for example. Jernigan and Mistree downloaded data from the Facebook network, choosing as their sample people who had joined the MIT network and were in the classes 2007-2011 or graduate students. They were interested in three things people frequently fill in on their social network profile: their gender, a category called “interested in” that they took to denote sexuality, and their friend links.
Of course, this is not an excuse to go "unfriending" all your gay friends. It's just to let you be aware that this it is possible to be outed this way, but still it is pure speculation on their part. There's no way to be sure unless it is from the horse's mouth.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Youngest Headmaster in the World
This is one the most inspirational stories I have ever heard. Babar Ali really has my utmost admiration and respect. May he continue with his wonderful work and bring change to his community and the world.
From the BBC:
At 16 years old, Babar Ali must be the youngest headmaster in the world. He's a teenager who is in charge of teaching hundreds of students in his family's backyard, where he runs classes for poor children from his village.
The story of this young man from Murshidabad in West Bengal is a remarkable tale of the desire to learn amid the direst poverty.
Babar Ali's day starts early. He wakes, pitches in with the household chores, then jumps on an auto-rickshaw which takes him part of the 10km (six mile) ride to the Raj Govinda school. The last couple of kilometres he has to walk.
The school is the best in this part of West Bengal. There are hundreds of students, boys and girls. The classrooms are neat, if bare. But there are desks, chairs, a blackboard, and the teachers are all dedicated and well-qualified.
As the class 12 roll-call is taken, Babar Ali is seated in the middle in the front row. He's a tall, slim, gangly teenager, studious and smart in his blue and white uniform. He takes his notes carefully. He is the model student.
Babar Ali is the first member of his family ever to get a proper education.
"It's not easy for me to come to school because I live so far away," he says, "but the teachers are good and I love learning. And my parents believe I must get the best education possible that's why I am here."
Raj Govinda school is government-run so it is free, all Babar Ali has to pay for is his uniform, his books and the rickshaw ride to get there. But still that means his family has to find around 1,800 rupees a year ($40, £25) to send him to school. In this part of West Bengal that is a lot of money. Many poor families simply can't afford to send their children to school, even when it is free.
Chumki Hajra is one who has never been to school. She is 14 years old and lives in a tiny shack with her grandmother. Their home is simple A-frame supporting a thatched roof next to the rice paddies and coconut palms at the edge of the village. Inside the hut there is just room for a bed and a few possessions.
Every morning, instead of going to school, she scrubs the dishes and cleans the homes of her neighbours. She's done this ever since she was five. For her work she earns just 200 rupees a month ($5, £3). It's not much, but it's money her family desperately needs. And it means that she has to work as a servant everyday in the village.
"My father is handicapped and can't work," Chumki tells me as she scrubs a pot. "We need the money. If I don't work, we can't survive as a family. So I have no choice but to do this job."
But Chumki is now getting an education, thanks to Babar Ali. The 16-year-old has made it his mission to help Chumki and hundreds of other poor children in his village. The minute his lessons are over at Raj Govinda school, Babar Ali doesn't stop to play, he heads off to share what he's learnt with other children from his village.
At four o'clock every afternoon after Babar Ali gets back to his family home a bell summons children to his house. They flood through the gate into the yard behind his house, where Babar Ali now acts as headmaster of his own, unofficial school.
Lined up in his back yard the children sing the national anthem. Standing on a podium, Babar Ali lectures them about discipline, then study begins.
Babar Ali gives lessons just the way he has heard them from his teachers. Some children are seated in the mud, others on rickety benches under a rough, homemade shelter. The family chickens scratch around nearby. In every corner of the yard are groups of children studying hard.
Babar Ali was just nine when he began teaching a few friends as a game. They were all eager to know what he learnt in school every morning and he liked playing at being their teacher.
Now his afternoon school has 800 students, all from poor families, all taught for free. Most of the girls come here after working, like Chumki, as domestic helps in the village, and the boys after they have finished their day's work labouring in the fields.
"In the beginning I was just play-acting, teaching my friends," Babar Ali says, "but then I realised these children will never learn to read and write if they don't have proper lessons. It's my duty to educate them, to help our country build a better future."
Including Babar Ali there are now 10 teachers at the school, all, like him are students at school or college, who give their time voluntarily. Babar Ali doesn't charge for anything, even books and food are given free, funded by donations. It means even the poorest can come here.
"Our area is economically deprived," he says. "Without this school many kids wouldn't get an education, they'd never even be literate."
Seated on a rough bench squeezed in with about a dozen other girls, Chumki Hajra is busy scribbling notes.
Her dedication to learning is incredible to see. Every day she works in homes in the village from six in the morning until half past two in the afternoon, then she heads to Babar Ali's school. At seven every evening she heads back to do more cleaning work.
Chumki's dream is to one day become a nurse, and Babar Ali's classes might just make it possible.
The school has been recognised by the local authorities, it has helped increase literacy rates in the area, and Babar Ali has won awards for his work.
The youngest children are just four or five, and they are all squeezed in to a tiny veranda. There are just a couple of bare electric bulbs to give light as lessons stretch into the evening, and only if there is electricity.
And then the monsoon rain begins. Huge drops fall as the children scurry for cover, slipping in the mud. They crowd under a piece of plastic sheeting. Babar Ali shouts an order. Lessons are cancelled for the afternoon otherwise everyone will be soaked. Having no classrooms means lessons are at the mercy of the elements.
The children climb onto the porch of a nearby shop as the rain pours down. Then they hurry home through the downpour. Tomorrow they'll be back though. Eight hundred poor children, unable to afford an education, but hungry for anything they can learn at Babar Ali's school.
From the BBC:
At 16 years old, Babar Ali must be the youngest headmaster in the world. He's a teenager who is in charge of teaching hundreds of students in his family's backyard, where he runs classes for poor children from his village.
The story of this young man from Murshidabad in West Bengal is a remarkable tale of the desire to learn amid the direst poverty.
Babar Ali's day starts early. He wakes, pitches in with the household chores, then jumps on an auto-rickshaw which takes him part of the 10km (six mile) ride to the Raj Govinda school. The last couple of kilometres he has to walk.
The school is the best in this part of West Bengal. There are hundreds of students, boys and girls. The classrooms are neat, if bare. But there are desks, chairs, a blackboard, and the teachers are all dedicated and well-qualified.
As the class 12 roll-call is taken, Babar Ali is seated in the middle in the front row. He's a tall, slim, gangly teenager, studious and smart in his blue and white uniform. He takes his notes carefully. He is the model student.
Babar Ali is the first member of his family ever to get a proper education.
"It's not easy for me to come to school because I live so far away," he says, "but the teachers are good and I love learning. And my parents believe I must get the best education possible that's why I am here."
Raj Govinda school is government-run so it is free, all Babar Ali has to pay for is his uniform, his books and the rickshaw ride to get there. But still that means his family has to find around 1,800 rupees a year ($40, £25) to send him to school. In this part of West Bengal that is a lot of money. Many poor families simply can't afford to send their children to school, even when it is free.
Chumki Hajra is one who has never been to school. She is 14 years old and lives in a tiny shack with her grandmother. Their home is simple A-frame supporting a thatched roof next to the rice paddies and coconut palms at the edge of the village. Inside the hut there is just room for a bed and a few possessions.
Every morning, instead of going to school, she scrubs the dishes and cleans the homes of her neighbours. She's done this ever since she was five. For her work she earns just 200 rupees a month ($5, £3). It's not much, but it's money her family desperately needs. And it means that she has to work as a servant everyday in the village.
"My father is handicapped and can't work," Chumki tells me as she scrubs a pot. "We need the money. If I don't work, we can't survive as a family. So I have no choice but to do this job."
But Chumki is now getting an education, thanks to Babar Ali. The 16-year-old has made it his mission to help Chumki and hundreds of other poor children in his village. The minute his lessons are over at Raj Govinda school, Babar Ali doesn't stop to play, he heads off to share what he's learnt with other children from his village.
At four o'clock every afternoon after Babar Ali gets back to his family home a bell summons children to his house. They flood through the gate into the yard behind his house, where Babar Ali now acts as headmaster of his own, unofficial school.
Lined up in his back yard the children sing the national anthem. Standing on a podium, Babar Ali lectures them about discipline, then study begins.
Babar Ali gives lessons just the way he has heard them from his teachers. Some children are seated in the mud, others on rickety benches under a rough, homemade shelter. The family chickens scratch around nearby. In every corner of the yard are groups of children studying hard.
Babar Ali was just nine when he began teaching a few friends as a game. They were all eager to know what he learnt in school every morning and he liked playing at being their teacher.
Now his afternoon school has 800 students, all from poor families, all taught for free. Most of the girls come here after working, like Chumki, as domestic helps in the village, and the boys after they have finished their day's work labouring in the fields.
"In the beginning I was just play-acting, teaching my friends," Babar Ali says, "but then I realised these children will never learn to read and write if they don't have proper lessons. It's my duty to educate them, to help our country build a better future."
Including Babar Ali there are now 10 teachers at the school, all, like him are students at school or college, who give their time voluntarily. Babar Ali doesn't charge for anything, even books and food are given free, funded by donations. It means even the poorest can come here.
"Our area is economically deprived," he says. "Without this school many kids wouldn't get an education, they'd never even be literate."
Seated on a rough bench squeezed in with about a dozen other girls, Chumki Hajra is busy scribbling notes.
Her dedication to learning is incredible to see. Every day she works in homes in the village from six in the morning until half past two in the afternoon, then she heads to Babar Ali's school. At seven every evening she heads back to do more cleaning work.
Chumki's dream is to one day become a nurse, and Babar Ali's classes might just make it possible.
The school has been recognised by the local authorities, it has helped increase literacy rates in the area, and Babar Ali has won awards for his work.
The youngest children are just four or five, and they are all squeezed in to a tiny veranda. There are just a couple of bare electric bulbs to give light as lessons stretch into the evening, and only if there is electricity.
And then the monsoon rain begins. Huge drops fall as the children scurry for cover, slipping in the mud. They crowd under a piece of plastic sheeting. Babar Ali shouts an order. Lessons are cancelled for the afternoon otherwise everyone will be soaked. Having no classrooms means lessons are at the mercy of the elements.
The children climb onto the porch of a nearby shop as the rain pours down. Then they hurry home through the downpour. Tomorrow they'll be back though. Eight hundred poor children, unable to afford an education, but hungry for anything they can learn at Babar Ali's school.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
The rabbit and the tortoise
So my housemate got attached. With Bunny.
Finally.
Seriously I was thinking like it was not going to happen anytime soon. Or even proceed anywhere.
If I were him, I would be celebrating my third month anniversary by now.
But then that's just me. I can't stand it when things are moving so slowly. If I like someone I would have made my move.
Carpe diem.
Of course, I have had my fair share of rejections. But no pain no gain.
As I said, that's just me. My meat is someone's else poison.
Still, I get to claim some credit on how things have worked out. LOL.
Anyway, best of luck to the both of them. It's always good when my friends get a partner in their life. They make a great couple because they are very similar in so many ways.
P/S In case someone gets offended by the title post, it's because I think it's quite catchy. One can look at it in a positive way. Think proverbs.
Finally.
Seriously I was thinking like it was not going to happen anytime soon. Or even proceed anywhere.
If I were him, I would be celebrating my third month anniversary by now.
But then that's just me. I can't stand it when things are moving so slowly. If I like someone I would have made my move.
Carpe diem.
Of course, I have had my fair share of rejections. But no pain no gain.
As I said, that's just me. My meat is someone's else poison.
Still, I get to claim some credit on how things have worked out. LOL.
Anyway, best of luck to the both of them. It's always good when my friends get a partner in their life. They make a great couple because they are very similar in so many ways.
P/S In case someone gets offended by the title post, it's because I think it's quite catchy. One can look at it in a positive way. Think proverbs.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Price of admission
Something useful I found on a gay forum. He takes a long time to say it, but basically he's saying that we have to pay the price of admission to have a relationship. And the price of admission is his or her flaws.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
September update
Blogger has been acting up on my PC. Not sure whether it is their problem or mine.
Anyway, sorry for the quite long hiatus. This past month since my return from Bali has been mostly work and studying. I don't even watch that many movies anymore.
Life has been quite good. SK was down in Singapore last weekend. She cooked chicken curry and made soup for my friends and me. That was a wonderful lunch surrounded by excellent company.
The week before, I went to Nick's place for lunch. That was another delicious lunch with braised pork and Hainanese chicken. It was followed by an afternoon of card game of Taboo.
Oh, I had an experience of fish spa three weekends ago. It was my first time and frankly I wouldn't do it again. Sure, it was relaxing and kinda fun but the novelty kinda wore off after 10 minutes. Personally, the feeling from the fishes feeding from my feet was more pricklish than ticklish; more pins-and-needles like than gentle nibbles.
Nyk has been on and off sick for the past couple of weeks. That was quite worrying. For now, there is a persistent cough that remains.
So that's about it for my update. I am sure you guys have more exciting things in your life than mine at the moment. Cheers!
Anyway, sorry for the quite long hiatus. This past month since my return from Bali has been mostly work and studying. I don't even watch that many movies anymore.
Life has been quite good. SK was down in Singapore last weekend. She cooked chicken curry and made soup for my friends and me. That was a wonderful lunch surrounded by excellent company.
The week before, I went to Nick's place for lunch. That was another delicious lunch with braised pork and Hainanese chicken. It was followed by an afternoon of card game of Taboo.
Oh, I had an experience of fish spa three weekends ago. It was my first time and frankly I wouldn't do it again. Sure, it was relaxing and kinda fun but the novelty kinda wore off after 10 minutes. Personally, the feeling from the fishes feeding from my feet was more pricklish than ticklish; more pins-and-needles like than gentle nibbles.
Nyk has been on and off sick for the past couple of weeks. That was quite worrying. For now, there is a persistent cough that remains.
So that's about it for my update. I am sure you guys have more exciting things in your life than mine at the moment. Cheers!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'
HUNTINGTON BEACH – Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.
From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.
After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.
The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.
The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.
Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film.
With her daughter’s vigil planned for Friday, Lisa Curtin reflected about how grateful she is that Pixar – and "Up" – were a part of her only child’s last day.
“When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie,” said Curtin, 46. “I just know that word ‘Up’ and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven.”
Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.
THE PREVIEWS
Colby was diagnosed with vascular cancer on Dec. 23, 2005 after doctors found a tumor in her liver. At the time of her death, her stomach was about 94 inches around, swollen with fluids the cancer wouldn’t let her body properly digest. The rest of her body probably weighed about 45 pounds, family friend Carole Lynch said.
Colby had gone to Newport Elementary School and was known for making others laugh, family friend Terrell Orum-Moore said. Colby loved to dance, sing, swim and seemed to have a more mature understanding of the world than other children her age, Orum-Moore said.
On April 28, Colby went to see the Dream Works 3-D movie "Monsters Vs. Aliens" but was impressed by the previews to "Up."
“It was from then on, she said, ‘I have to see that movie. It is so cool,’” Lynch said.
Colby was a movie fan, Lisa Curtin said, and she latched onto Pixar’s movies because she loved animals.
Two days later Colby’s health began to worsen. On June 4 her mother asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair for Colby so she could visit a theater to see "Up." However, the weekend went by and the wheelchair was not delivered, Lisa Curtin said.
By June 9, Colby could no longer be transported to a theater and her family feared she would die without having seen the movie.
At that point, Orum-Moore, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixar and Disney to see if someone could help.
Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.
Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of "Up," Orum-Moore recalled.
She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.
“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.
“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.
THE MOVIE
At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.
He had a bag of stuffed animals of characters in the movie and a movie poster. He shared some quirky background details of the movie and the group settled in to watch Up.
Colby couldn't see the screen because the pain kept her eyes closed so her mother gave her a play-by-play of the film.
At the end of the film, the mother asked if her daughter enjoyed the movie and Colby nodded yes, Lisa Curtin said.
The employee left after the movie, taking the DVD with him, Lynch said.
“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said Lynch who watched the movie with the family. “His eyes were just welled up.”
After the movie, Colby’s dad, Michael Curtin, who is divorced from Lisa Curtin, came to visit.
Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.
Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.
“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.
From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.
After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.
The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.
The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.
Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film.
With her daughter’s vigil planned for Friday, Lisa Curtin reflected about how grateful she is that Pixar – and "Up" – were a part of her only child’s last day.
“When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie,” said Curtin, 46. “I just know that word ‘Up’ and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven.”
Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.
THE PREVIEWS
Colby was diagnosed with vascular cancer on Dec. 23, 2005 after doctors found a tumor in her liver. At the time of her death, her stomach was about 94 inches around, swollen with fluids the cancer wouldn’t let her body properly digest. The rest of her body probably weighed about 45 pounds, family friend Carole Lynch said.
Colby had gone to Newport Elementary School and was known for making others laugh, family friend Terrell Orum-Moore said. Colby loved to dance, sing, swim and seemed to have a more mature understanding of the world than other children her age, Orum-Moore said.
On April 28, Colby went to see the Dream Works 3-D movie "Monsters Vs. Aliens" but was impressed by the previews to "Up."
“It was from then on, she said, ‘I have to see that movie. It is so cool,’” Lynch said.
Colby was a movie fan, Lisa Curtin said, and she latched onto Pixar’s movies because she loved animals.
Two days later Colby’s health began to worsen. On June 4 her mother asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair for Colby so she could visit a theater to see "Up." However, the weekend went by and the wheelchair was not delivered, Lisa Curtin said.
By June 9, Colby could no longer be transported to a theater and her family feared she would die without having seen the movie.
At that point, Orum-Moore, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixar and Disney to see if someone could help.
Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.
Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of "Up," Orum-Moore recalled.
She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.
“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.
“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.
THE MOVIE
At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.
He had a bag of stuffed animals of characters in the movie and a movie poster. He shared some quirky background details of the movie and the group settled in to watch Up.
Colby couldn't see the screen because the pain kept her eyes closed so her mother gave her a play-by-play of the film.
At the end of the film, the mother asked if her daughter enjoyed the movie and Colby nodded yes, Lisa Curtin said.
The employee left after the movie, taking the DVD with him, Lynch said.
“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said Lynch who watched the movie with the family. “His eyes were just welled up.”
After the movie, Colby’s dad, Michael Curtin, who is divorced from Lisa Curtin, came to visit.
Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.
Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.
“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Interesting observations
Quite a few of my university got or are getting married this year. And I have a few observations which I find to be interesting.
1. They are not walking down the aisle with the person whom they were dating during university days, which were only 5 years ago.
2. They were with their former boyfriends / girlfriends for quite some time, at least two or three years
3. The person they are getting married to is someone they have dated for less than two years
These led me to think, are their biological clocks ticking? What's the hurry? Also I know for sure there are no "accidents".
I really don’t know.
True, the length of time of a relationship is no guarantee that it will end in marriage. But surely, it must have meant something too.
Or could it be that their university relationships somehow have taught them one of lives greatest lessons about their preferred qualities in a partner that they applied it and found the person to marry soon after?
Anyone care to share your thoughts?
1. They are not walking down the aisle with the person whom they were dating during university days, which were only 5 years ago.
2. They were with their former boyfriends / girlfriends for quite some time, at least two or three years
3. The person they are getting married to is someone they have dated for less than two years
These led me to think, are their biological clocks ticking? What's the hurry? Also I know for sure there are no "accidents".
I really don’t know.
True, the length of time of a relationship is no guarantee that it will end in marriage. But surely, it must have meant something too.
Or could it be that their university relationships somehow have taught them one of lives greatest lessons about their preferred qualities in a partner that they applied it and found the person to marry soon after?
Anyone care to share your thoughts?
Monday, August 10, 2009
August update
I just came back from Bali on Saturday. It was a really wonderful and relaxing vacation for me. I enjoyed the beautiful culture, food and the friendly people.
There were still many Caucasians there. The bombing in Jakarta recently did not seem to deter them.
I am still in holiday mood. I will post up more about the trip soon.
There were still many Caucasians there. The bombing in Jakarta recently did not seem to deter them.
I am still in holiday mood. I will post up more about the trip soon.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Barhopping
There were a few friends who were down visiting from KL, namely DH, Alexander and JL. So I met up with them and brought them to this restaurant called Hachitei which is in the CBD area to avoid the weekend dinner crowd.
DH who doesn't drink beer, practically went orgasmic when he found out that the restaurant has this Japanese beer called Suntory. This is the only beer that he drinks. Apparently, it can't be found in KL.
We ordered 3 bottles and I have to agree that it is very nice and smooth.
DH hasn't been to the clubs here and he was quite keen to check out the scene. I haven't been clubbing for a long time and I wasn't too keen on it, but I changed my mind.
We practically did the rounds all in one night, except for Play. We were at 8 Cafe for drinks, followed by Tantric. Tantric wasn't really our thing as it was way too crowded and there were a lot Caucasians. We could barely moved in that place. And I didn't realize that there is quite a number of gay expats over here.
Next up was DYMK. The place is pretty nice and cozy for drinks. My friend was gaga over the straight Laotian waiter. All of them thought that he was quite cute but I thought he was OK. I prefer the other guy behind the bar.
We headed to Taboo next where everyone was already partying. It was only my second time there. The crowd here is mostly on the older side, as in above 20 as opposed to Play. I had an enjoyable time as I had a pretty good buzz in my head. Danced a little, but the music was not really my type. Probably should go when they have their monthly Handbag Party nights (which I learn are Kylie and Madonna kind of music, instead of techno).
The way I see it, yesterday night was more for catching up with some friends and just enjoying myself. DH and I had this mutual friend, whom we probably knew at around the same time 5 years ago. This was indeed a surprising tidbit of information. It just shows how small the gay community is.
Reached home at 4 in the morning and fell into my beauty sleep.
DH who doesn't drink beer, practically went orgasmic when he found out that the restaurant has this Japanese beer called Suntory. This is the only beer that he drinks. Apparently, it can't be found in KL.
We ordered 3 bottles and I have to agree that it is very nice and smooth.
DH hasn't been to the clubs here and he was quite keen to check out the scene. I haven't been clubbing for a long time and I wasn't too keen on it, but I changed my mind.
We practically did the rounds all in one night, except for Play. We were at 8 Cafe for drinks, followed by Tantric. Tantric wasn't really our thing as it was way too crowded and there were a lot Caucasians. We could barely moved in that place. And I didn't realize that there is quite a number of gay expats over here.
Next up was DYMK. The place is pretty nice and cozy for drinks. My friend was gaga over the straight Laotian waiter. All of them thought that he was quite cute but I thought he was OK. I prefer the other guy behind the bar.
We headed to Taboo next where everyone was already partying. It was only my second time there. The crowd here is mostly on the older side, as in above 20 as opposed to Play. I had an enjoyable time as I had a pretty good buzz in my head. Danced a little, but the music was not really my type. Probably should go when they have their monthly Handbag Party nights (which I learn are Kylie and Madonna kind of music, instead of techno).
The way I see it, yesterday night was more for catching up with some friends and just enjoying myself. DH and I had this mutual friend, whom we probably knew at around the same time 5 years ago. This was indeed a surprising tidbit of information. It just shows how small the gay community is.
Reached home at 4 in the morning and fell into my beauty sleep.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Singapore Science Center
I am still alive thank you very much.
Anyway, I was busy entertaining Nyk when he was around the second week of July, amidst juggling my workload. There were a few reports due during the week he was here, but it all turned out quite well.
We didn't do much outing this timeso that he won't complain of walking too much till his feet hurt. We only went to the Singapore Science Center to see the Da Vinci exhibition.
The exhibition was quite interesting. They constructed many of his designs which spanned the fields of physics, mechanics, war machines, flying machines, etc.
There was also the photograph of the Mona Lisa. Apparently, by using current technology, some guy managed to reproduce the original Mona Lisa the moment Leonardo da Vinci finished painting it. They extracted the base paint, sans all the restoration paint work performed over the years.
The original looked so much more vibrant and there are really a lot of details which couldn't be seen in the current state. The current one has aged paint with a yellowish tint, which definitely pales in comparison to the original.
Oh, and da Vinci was most probably gay. He had a relationship with his young apprentice and he was always surrounded by men.
After that we went home and rest for a while before heading the airport. Unfortunately (or was it fortunately), his 7.40pm flight was delayed to midnight. We requested for the next day's flight instead. So we got to spend another night together.
And off he went the next morning.
Anyway, I was busy entertaining Nyk when he was around the second week of July, amidst juggling my workload. There were a few reports due during the week he was here, but it all turned out quite well.
We didn't do much outing this time
The exhibition was quite interesting. They constructed many of his designs which spanned the fields of physics, mechanics, war machines, flying machines, etc.
There was also the photograph of the Mona Lisa. Apparently, by using current technology, some guy managed to reproduce the original Mona Lisa the moment Leonardo da Vinci finished painting it. They extracted the base paint, sans all the restoration paint work performed over the years.
The original looked so much more vibrant and there are really a lot of details which couldn't be seen in the current state. The current one has aged paint with a yellowish tint, which definitely pales in comparison to the original.
Oh, and da Vinci was most probably gay. He had a relationship with his young apprentice and he was always surrounded by men.
After that we went home and rest for a while before heading the airport. Unfortunately (or was it fortunately), his 7.40pm flight was delayed to midnight. We requested for the next day's flight instead. So we got to spend another night together.
And off he went the next morning.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Homowives
I came across this article. Really quite sad what gay people have to go through to keep others happy. It is a delicate balance and difficult choice between your own happiness and that of others.
All of these are taken from Yawningbread.
For most gay men and lesbians in China, revealing their sexuality to their families is unimaginable. Parents expect their sons and daughters to produce heirs, an obligation that has become even more intense in a society where single-child families are the standard.
-- New York Times, 14 June 2009, Gay festival in China pushes official boundaries
The story also told about cover-up marriages like Huang Jiankun's:
To assuage his parents, he orchestrated a fake wedding to a lesbian friend, but eventually the truth came out. “The problem is when you lie, it becomes connected to another lie and you can’t keep it up,” he said.
There is a blog, in Chinese, about the predicament of wives of gay men.
Below is the translation in English.
All of these are taken from Yawningbread.
For most gay men and lesbians in China, revealing their sexuality to their families is unimaginable. Parents expect their sons and daughters to produce heirs, an obligation that has become even more intense in a society where single-child families are the standard.
-- New York Times, 14 June 2009, Gay festival in China pushes official boundaries
The story also told about cover-up marriages like Huang Jiankun's:
To assuage his parents, he orchestrated a fake wedding to a lesbian friend, but eventually the truth came out. “The problem is when you lie, it becomes connected to another lie and you can’t keep it up,” he said.
There is a blog, in Chinese, about the predicament of wives of gay men.
Below is the translation in English.
Caring about homowife
I attended a forum that discussed the problem of “homowife”. The so-called “Homowife” (tongqi) is the wife (qi) of a homosexual (tongzi). It has been said that China has 20 million male homosexuals, of whom 80 per cent would marry a woman. These women are the “homowives”, and there would be 16 million people.
The homowife phenomenon is a phenomenon characteristic of China, seldom witnessed in other countries. In other countries, homosexuals would remain single or live together or marry other homosexuals. Very few would contract a heterosexual marriage. This difference comes about because Chinese culture places such a great emphasis on marriage and reproduction, as to make them compulsory.
During my visit to Hungary, I found out that only 10 per cent of people of marriageable age got hitched. The rest fell into three categories: single, cohabiting (living together), LAT (lovers who live apart). In this kind of society, homosexuals do not have any need at all to enter into a heterosexual marriage. People would not gossip about them and parents do not apply pressure. Unfortunately our Chinese culture is oppressive with its dictum on men and women having to get married when they reach a certain age and naming the lack of progeny as the most serious breach of filial piety – "there are three kinds of unfilial behaviour and the greatest is have no descendant". It thus forces a community of male homosexuals to marry women to have children.
The situation of the “homowife” is extremely tragic. At the seminar, there were homowives who burst into tears as they spoke, leading all of them to hug each other for a good cry. Most days, they wash their faces with tears. I heard what I considered the most shocking testimony that from a woman who told of how she even doubted her ability to attract men -- why wouldn’t her husband even want to look at her or touch her? Am I really that unworthy as a woman? She assumed that all men would treat her like that, not knowing that this is far from the truth. She did not dream that her husband would be gay. Under the circumstances, even the most beautiful and accomplished woman would not arouse him.
Homowives have started to get organized in an effort to help themselves and help others. They have started a website and a helpline to assist fellow women who have fallen into the same predicament.
Their highest priority is to prevent women from marrying homosexuals, help those who suspect the sexual orientation of their boyfriends to analyse their situation better; and in the event that the other party is a confirmed homosexual, to persuade the woman not to proceed with the marriage.
Secondly, they would like to extend a helping hand to those women who are already married to homosexuals and who would like a divorce. This includes helping them to make up their minds, relieving the pressure on them and reduce the financial and psychological damage that comes with divorce.
Thirdly, they would like to address the problems of homowives who do not want a divorce for a variety of reasons. This would include helping them to analyse the cost of keeping such a marriage going, how to communicate with their husbands and how to get along with their children.
They proposed a slogan: “Homowife ends with me”. This slogan is full of hurt and also extends concern to those who may follow in their footsteps. The slogan gives one a feeling that it is a noble cause.
I hope the majority of male homosexuals do not enter into heterosexual marriages any more and spare a thought for the feelings of the homowife.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Life, friendships and July
Nyk was getting a bit wistful yesterday about friends lost and made. I suppose that is a fact of life that we have to accept - that friends come in and out of our lives all the time.
In different stages of life we would have different interests and activities and understandably, the people that we acquaint with would be different. Over time, we would have grown and move in divergent directions; we would have moved on to newer and other more exciting stuff.
But of course, this is not always the case. There would be that select few who would be with us for a very long time. Who would see us through the different stages in life and our ups and downs. Those that might even know us better than we know ourselves.
Even in this age of communications technology, its availability doesn't mean that it would be meaningfully utilised to keep in touch. The tools are all there and precisely because of that it is taken for granted. Everyone is just an email, phone call or text message away but sometimes we forget or are too lazy to use them.
There would also be others who would appear intermittently in our lives. They come in and out of lives. They reappear a few or many years later. But somehow we could still reconnect with them; there is still that bond of friendship. It’s like they have taken a break and came back from it.
I understand how he feels. I had that feeling a long time ago. Come to think of it, there are not many people whom I meet often. It is always the same group of people. They are the important people in my lives right now.
They may or may not be in the future but I guess the most important thing now is to treasure the friendship and not let it deteriorate.
Work and family takes up most of his time. Especially his mom. She has her mood swings and her mood significantly affects Nyk's mood.
Things are not balanced. One need to spend time with other groups of people too. The bonds of friendship can nurture and invigorate.
Perhaps all these negative energy points to something deeper. There could be something lying beneath it. Possibly feeling stuck in the rut? Midlife crisis which arrived much earlier?
Or maybe it is something as simple as the blues. Everyone gets it sometimes. Even I do. But this time it seems longer than usual.
There is only so much I can do cheer him up. Would like to just meet him now and make him feel better. I do feel powerless as I am not beside him now. This is one downside of long distance relationship which infuriates.
Hope you feel better soon dear. He is coming down in early July, so I am thinking I might have my work cut out for me if he is still not alright.
But of course, the sooner the clouds lift the better.
In different stages of life we would have different interests and activities and understandably, the people that we acquaint with would be different. Over time, we would have grown and move in divergent directions; we would have moved on to newer and other more exciting stuff.
But of course, this is not always the case. There would be that select few who would be with us for a very long time. Who would see us through the different stages in life and our ups and downs. Those that might even know us better than we know ourselves.
Even in this age of communications technology, its availability doesn't mean that it would be meaningfully utilised to keep in touch. The tools are all there and precisely because of that it is taken for granted. Everyone is just an email, phone call or text message away but sometimes we forget or are too lazy to use them.
There would also be others who would appear intermittently in our lives. They come in and out of lives. They reappear a few or many years later. But somehow we could still reconnect with them; there is still that bond of friendship. It’s like they have taken a break and came back from it.
I understand how he feels. I had that feeling a long time ago. Come to think of it, there are not many people whom I meet often. It is always the same group of people. They are the important people in my lives right now.
They may or may not be in the future but I guess the most important thing now is to treasure the friendship and not let it deteriorate.
Work and family takes up most of his time. Especially his mom. She has her mood swings and her mood significantly affects Nyk's mood.
Things are not balanced. One need to spend time with other groups of people too. The bonds of friendship can nurture and invigorate.
Perhaps all these negative energy points to something deeper. There could be something lying beneath it. Possibly feeling stuck in the rut? Midlife crisis which arrived much earlier?
Or maybe it is something as simple as the blues. Everyone gets it sometimes. Even I do. But this time it seems longer than usual.
There is only so much I can do cheer him up. Would like to just meet him now and make him feel better. I do feel powerless as I am not beside him now. This is one downside of long distance relationship which infuriates.
Hope you feel better soon dear. He is coming down in early July, so I am thinking I might have my work cut out for me if he is still not alright.
But of course, the sooner the clouds lift the better.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Community service
My company has this annual community service thing whereby staff volunteer to spend a day or more contributing back to the community. I signed up for it last month and it happened on Friday.
The expected activities were cleaning, repairing, painting, that kinda stuff. Luckily for me, there wasn't painting involved. I know painting could be fun but really, I don't like the mess produced. And painting is less fun when you have to do a decent job of it. It is another person's house after all.
The beneficiary of these activities are underprivileged kids, defined as not doing so well in school and who come from a broken or troubled family. Mine was a 11 year old girl with a single parent. She has two older brothers. We were supposed to help make their home more conducive for studying.
Anyway out job was to help clear her stuff. They live in a one bedroom HDB. Living space is already pretty cramped but it was made worse by the countless and endless boxes of stuff stacked high from wall to ceiling. They must have at least 50 boxes of stuff.
The mom had at least 5 boxes of clothing, some of which were new but never worn before. She also had at least two dozen bags and handbags wrapped in plastic. There were more than a few sets of plates, cups, saucers and other kitchenware. She had a box full of perfume for an unknown number of years.
How she got those stuff? From years of collecting and keeping the things she received from relatives, friends, neighbours. Or even good and usable stuff which she picked up from wherever.
There we were, 10 adults helping her sort through her mess for 5 hours. We had to convince her to part with her belongings. We told her all the usable equipmend would be donated to the Salvation Army. We then had to separate the things that she wants to keep from those to be discarded.
All in all, I think we managed to achieve our target. We removed at least half of her stuff and rearrange the living room. Boxes were stacked nicely and there was more floor space. We donated a study desk and computer table to them.
There were a lot of moving and carrying of boxes and bags. We had to carry the items onto a lorry which shipped them to the Salvation Army in Bishan.
In the end, the mom was visibly happy and thankful for our help. Apparently, she had tried to clean up on her own but it wasn't as productive. That was understandable as she would certainly be hesitant to discard the stuff that she had painstakingly accumulated over the years.
She thanked us profusely for making her home more spacious and cleared up the clutter.
As for me, this wasn't what I expected when I signed up for it. Clearing up stuff didn't seem to be much of a service, but judging by their gratitude, we seemed to have contributed something meaningful into their lives.
It is not much but our little service made a difference.
The expected activities were cleaning, repairing, painting, that kinda stuff. Luckily for me, there wasn't painting involved. I know painting could be fun but really, I don't like the mess produced. And painting is less fun when you have to do a decent job of it. It is another person's house after all.
The beneficiary of these activities are underprivileged kids, defined as not doing so well in school and who come from a broken or troubled family. Mine was a 11 year old girl with a single parent. She has two older brothers. We were supposed to help make their home more conducive for studying.
Anyway out job was to help clear her stuff. They live in a one bedroom HDB. Living space is already pretty cramped but it was made worse by the countless and endless boxes of stuff stacked high from wall to ceiling. They must have at least 50 boxes of stuff.
The mom had at least 5 boxes of clothing, some of which were new but never worn before. She also had at least two dozen bags and handbags wrapped in plastic. There were more than a few sets of plates, cups, saucers and other kitchenware. She had a box full of perfume for an unknown number of years.
How she got those stuff? From years of collecting and keeping the things she received from relatives, friends, neighbours. Or even good and usable stuff which she picked up from wherever.
There we were, 10 adults helping her sort through her mess for 5 hours. We had to convince her to part with her belongings. We told her all the usable equipmend would be donated to the Salvation Army. We then had to separate the things that she wants to keep from those to be discarded.
All in all, I think we managed to achieve our target. We removed at least half of her stuff and rearrange the living room. Boxes were stacked nicely and there was more floor space. We donated a study desk and computer table to them.
There were a lot of moving and carrying of boxes and bags. We had to carry the items onto a lorry which shipped them to the Salvation Army in Bishan.
In the end, the mom was visibly happy and thankful for our help. Apparently, she had tried to clean up on her own but it wasn't as productive. That was understandable as she would certainly be hesitant to discard the stuff that she had painstakingly accumulated over the years.
She thanked us profusely for making her home more spacious and cleared up the clutter.
As for me, this wasn't what I expected when I signed up for it. Clearing up stuff didn't seem to be much of a service, but judging by their gratitude, we seemed to have contributed something meaningful into their lives.
It is not much but our little service made a difference.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Male penguins raise adopted chick
Interesting news from around the world. Taken from the BBC.
Two "gay" male penguins have hatched a chick and are now rearing it as its adoptive parents, says a German zoo.
The zoo, in Bremerhaven, northern Germany, says the adult males - Z and Vielpunkt - were given an egg which was rejected by its biological parents.
It says the couple are now happily rearing the chick, said to have reached four weeks old.
The zoo made headlines in 2005 over plans to "test" the sexual orientation of penguins with homosexual traits.
Three pairs of male penguins had been seen attempting to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring from stones.
The zoo flew in four females in a bid to get the endangered birds to reproduce - but quickly abandoned the scheme after causing outrage among gay rights activists, who accused it of interfering in the animals' behaviour.
The six "gay" penguins remain at the zoo, among them Z and Vielpunkt who are now rearing the chick together after being given the rejected egg.
"Z and Vielpunkt, both males, gladly accepted their 'Easter gift' and got straight down to raising it," said a zoo statement.
"Since the chick arrived, they have been behaving just as you would expect a heterosexual couple to do. The two happy fathers spend their days attentively protecting, caring for and feeding their adopted offspring."
Humboldt penguins are normally found in coastal Peru and Chile, but their numbers have been dwindling due to overfishing, reports the AFP news agency.
'Drive to mate'
There have been previous reports of exclusive male-to-male pairings among penguins, some of which have also included the rearing of chicks.
Homosexual behaviour is well documented in many different animals, but it is not understood in detail, says Professor Stuart West, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Oxford.
Professor West says it has been suggested that homosexual activity could serve various purposes - for instance, it may relate to social bonding and establishment of dominance among bonobo chimps, while in some bird species, females may come together to rear young.
Other animals may simply exhibit a "drive to mate", while others may, like humans, enjoy non-procreative sexual activity.
"Homosexuality is nothing unusual among animals," Bremerhaven zoo said on Wednesday.
"Sex and coupling up in our world do not necessarily have anything to do with reproduction."
Two "gay" male penguins have hatched a chick and are now rearing it as its adoptive parents, says a German zoo.
The zoo, in Bremerhaven, northern Germany, says the adult males - Z and Vielpunkt - were given an egg which was rejected by its biological parents.
It says the couple are now happily rearing the chick, said to have reached four weeks old.
The zoo made headlines in 2005 over plans to "test" the sexual orientation of penguins with homosexual traits.
Three pairs of male penguins had been seen attempting to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring from stones.
The zoo flew in four females in a bid to get the endangered birds to reproduce - but quickly abandoned the scheme after causing outrage among gay rights activists, who accused it of interfering in the animals' behaviour.
The six "gay" penguins remain at the zoo, among them Z and Vielpunkt who are now rearing the chick together after being given the rejected egg.
"Z and Vielpunkt, both males, gladly accepted their 'Easter gift' and got straight down to raising it," said a zoo statement.
"Since the chick arrived, they have been behaving just as you would expect a heterosexual couple to do. The two happy fathers spend their days attentively protecting, caring for and feeding their adopted offspring."
Humboldt penguins are normally found in coastal Peru and Chile, but their numbers have been dwindling due to overfishing, reports the AFP news agency.
'Drive to mate'
There have been previous reports of exclusive male-to-male pairings among penguins, some of which have also included the rearing of chicks.
Homosexual behaviour is well documented in many different animals, but it is not understood in detail, says Professor Stuart West, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Oxford.
Professor West says it has been suggested that homosexual activity could serve various purposes - for instance, it may relate to social bonding and establishment of dominance among bonobo chimps, while in some bird species, females may come together to rear young.
Other animals may simply exhibit a "drive to mate", while others may, like humans, enjoy non-procreative sexual activity.
"Homosexuality is nothing unusual among animals," Bremerhaven zoo said on Wednesday.
"Sex and coupling up in our world do not necessarily have anything to do with reproduction."
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Terminator Salvation
I managed to catch Terminator Salvation on Sunday. It was better than I expected. The action scenes were great and exciting. Haven't felt this kind of adrenalin rush from a movie for quite some time.
You don't really have to know much about the earlier Terminator movies to follow the story. I would highly recommended it.
The next movie which I really want to watch is Up, Pixar's movie for this year. It's the highest rated movie I have come across on IMDB. Nine out of ten stars.
You don't really have to know much about the earlier Terminator movies to follow the story. I would highly recommended it.
The next movie which I really want to watch is Up, Pixar's movie for this year. It's the highest rated movie I have come across on IMDB. Nine out of ten stars.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
A logical voice
It's amazing that even after the AWARE EGM on 2nd May, the issue still hasn't died completely. I suppose the Christian fundamentalists really stirred up a hornet's nest when they decided to steeplejack AWARE.
I can't remember who said it, but he said something about he didn't speak up when groups of people were taken away, in the end there is no one left to speak for you when it is your turn.
And if this source is to be believed, the mother-daughter team is deeply involved in a very fundamentalist organisations based in the U.S. I would think that this warrants a more detailed look than Siew Kum Hoong - Swiss connection.
A Reply to Letter by Dr Thio Su Mien dated 18th May 2009, taken from the author's Facebook.
Dear Sir,
It is with amazement that I read Dr Thio Su Miens letter "Gay activists a key constituency of Aware", published on the 18th of May 2009. As a responsible heterosexual member of the public, I feel that it is my duty to respond to her diatribe.
I find the fact that Dr Thio believes that Aware are pushing a pro-homosexual agenda terribly disturbing. To my knowledge, the homosexual lobby in Singapore have never had any political agenda, focusing instead on their right to acceptance in society for who they are, and as noted in the recent 'Pink Dot' gathering, on their right to select their own partners. It is a matter of deep concern that so distinguished a member of our society should display such intolerance towards the sexual inclinations of others. As a law student myself, I find it equally disturbing that a former dean of our law faculty, who must in her time have taught many of our current lawyers to critically appraise what they are told as facts of evidence, should now hold such bigoted and inflexible views herself.
Also, it is deeply disconcerting to note that Dr Thio believes that homosexuality be viewed as negative in the education system. The fact that Aware took a neutral stance when dealing with the issue, is highly laudable. It is with great pride that I say that as a Singaporean, one of the key social values I was taught during my school days was that of acceptance. Education is not about skimming over what some might deem as unpleasant fact, but about giving youth information and the power to make informed decisions over the course of their lives.
I do not understand how the CSE manual's description of anal sex, conditions the minds of teenage students towards acceptance of homosexuality when this is also practised by heterosexuals in the privacy of their own homes. Is Dr Thio oblivious to this fact? To immediately equate the two with one another is a direct admission of an agenda against the homosexually inclined.
The old guard received the vociferous support they did not because it was among their aims to promote a homosexual agenda, but merely because they accepted that certain people were inclined differently. As a 'discerning Singaporean' who has also examined the evidence in print and online accounts, I have come to the conclusion that the purpose of the 'ex-new exco' was to attack a group of people whose sole intention lay in obtaining acceptance of their status as people and not as societal non-grata. If we were to accept her argument that the old guard had a homosexual agenda, then we must also accept that Dr Thio and the group she claimed to have mentored, had an agenda based solely on their religious beliefs. This is eminently borne out by their pastors statement on the pulpit calling on his congregation to support the 'ex-new exco'.
I have always been under the impression that all religions were inclusive, and not exclusive, of human frailties. Given the plural nature of Singapore's society, it is unthinkable that a group consisting of people from a single racial background pushing a single religious agenda, represent the views of our racially diverse and secular populace. We have always been an accepting and tolerant society. The outcome of the whole 'Aware Saga' fills me with hope that we will remain so.
Akesh Abhilash
I can't remember who said it, but he said something about he didn't speak up when groups of people were taken away, in the end there is no one left to speak for you when it is your turn.
And if this source is to be believed, the mother-daughter team is deeply involved in a very fundamentalist organisations based in the U.S. I would think that this warrants a more detailed look than Siew Kum Hoong - Swiss connection.
A Reply to Letter by Dr Thio Su Mien dated 18th May 2009, taken from the author's Facebook.
Dear Sir,
It is with amazement that I read Dr Thio Su Miens letter "Gay activists a key constituency of Aware", published on the 18th of May 2009. As a responsible heterosexual member of the public, I feel that it is my duty to respond to her diatribe.
I find the fact that Dr Thio believes that Aware are pushing a pro-homosexual agenda terribly disturbing. To my knowledge, the homosexual lobby in Singapore have never had any political agenda, focusing instead on their right to acceptance in society for who they are, and as noted in the recent 'Pink Dot' gathering, on their right to select their own partners. It is a matter of deep concern that so distinguished a member of our society should display such intolerance towards the sexual inclinations of others. As a law student myself, I find it equally disturbing that a former dean of our law faculty, who must in her time have taught many of our current lawyers to critically appraise what they are told as facts of evidence, should now hold such bigoted and inflexible views herself.
Also, it is deeply disconcerting to note that Dr Thio believes that homosexuality be viewed as negative in the education system. The fact that Aware took a neutral stance when dealing with the issue, is highly laudable. It is with great pride that I say that as a Singaporean, one of the key social values I was taught during my school days was that of acceptance. Education is not about skimming over what some might deem as unpleasant fact, but about giving youth information and the power to make informed decisions over the course of their lives.
I do not understand how the CSE manual's description of anal sex, conditions the minds of teenage students towards acceptance of homosexuality when this is also practised by heterosexuals in the privacy of their own homes. Is Dr Thio oblivious to this fact? To immediately equate the two with one another is a direct admission of an agenda against the homosexually inclined.
The old guard received the vociferous support they did not because it was among their aims to promote a homosexual agenda, but merely because they accepted that certain people were inclined differently. As a 'discerning Singaporean' who has also examined the evidence in print and online accounts, I have come to the conclusion that the purpose of the 'ex-new exco' was to attack a group of people whose sole intention lay in obtaining acceptance of their status as people and not as societal non-grata. If we were to accept her argument that the old guard had a homosexual agenda, then we must also accept that Dr Thio and the group she claimed to have mentored, had an agenda based solely on their religious beliefs. This is eminently borne out by their pastors statement on the pulpit calling on his congregation to support the 'ex-new exco'.
I have always been under the impression that all religions were inclusive, and not exclusive, of human frailties. Given the plural nature of Singapore's society, it is unthinkable that a group consisting of people from a single racial background pushing a single religious agenda, represent the views of our racially diverse and secular populace. We have always been an accepting and tolerant society. The outcome of the whole 'Aware Saga' fills me with hope that we will remain so.
Akesh Abhilash
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Leftward or upward?
I was at Borders yesterday and saw this book called Bonk.
Looks interesting and I flipped through the pages. An interesting paragraph on the the erect penis caught my eye.
According to a Taiwanese doctor who specialises in penile implants, when the penis is erect the most common direction is to the left. This was followed by downwards, left and finally upwards. Sort of like anti-clockwise.
Indeed, this is a startling observation for me. It basically contradicts what I have observed.
From my limited *ahem* experience and the porn that I watched, I have the impression that facing north is the most common one. Thus far, I have only seen one that points left and the rest all point upward.
Anyone else care to share their empirical observations? ;p
Looks interesting and I flipped through the pages. An interesting paragraph on the the erect penis caught my eye.
According to a Taiwanese doctor who specialises in penile implants, when the penis is erect the most common direction is to the left. This was followed by downwards, left and finally upwards. Sort of like anti-clockwise.
Indeed, this is a startling observation for me. It basically contradicts what I have observed.
From my limited *ahem* experience and the porn that I watched, I have the impression that facing north is the most common one. Thus far, I have only seen one that points left and the rest all point upward.
Anyone else care to share their empirical observations? ;p
Sunday, May 10, 2009
The power of words and fear
It is very difficult to change one's mind if you have already decided beforehand that you are right and gay people are sinful and plain wrong. You will disregard all facts that are contrary to your view.
In addition, it's not enough that you think that you are right, you want the society at large to have the same thoughts and opinions as you. The weapon of choice: fear. Stoke fear that the children are being taught about homosexuality; that anal sex is a neutral word.
Those poor innocent children! Everything and anything must be done to protect them! If not, they will turn out gay!
Obviously, that presupposes that homosexuality is spread by the word of mouth. Like how you convert people other people into your way of thinking. If only it was so.
They who have use the power of words to gather support and spread paranoia are of course wary of it. But hardened minds who think that homosexuality is a choice fail to understand that it is not. Hearing and repeating the word gay doesn't make one turn gay.
Just like how if I say the word heterosexual one thousand times make me want to place my privates into a woman's down under.
But of course you want to admit that you are wrong and irrational would be a great humiliation. Never mind logic, the book says homosexuality is wrong means it is wrong. Never mind that the cold hard evidence shows otherwise.
Because when one start doubting, the whole system of belief begins to crack. The stand on homosexuality is one small part of the belief but ultimately it still is part of it. Admitting a mistake is tantamount to doubting the whole belief, which has taken years to develop and solidify in the cerebral cortex. It would crumble their confidence as no one willingly admits they are wrong.
It is just incomprehensible that someone who is smart enough to be a doctor or a lawyer could be wrong.
But didn't someone say to err is human. Oh wait, that wasn't in the book so it must be not true. So they could not be wrong.
I can understand that they have worked hard to get up on that high moral horse of theirs, surely they are very afraid to fall from it.
That is why when they are afraid of science. Science questions everything. Ideas and hypotheses are always being tested by other scientists. You said this is true, let me try to replicate it. There is a check and balance. You said this is possible, then please show it to me.
But who checks what they do? Who do they answer to when they spread fear and tell lies?
Nobody. They can get away with it because they believe that sitting on a horse gives them the right.
And they are unhappy when the people around them throw horseshit to their faces.
In addition, it's not enough that you think that you are right, you want the society at large to have the same thoughts and opinions as you. The weapon of choice: fear. Stoke fear that the children are being taught about homosexuality; that anal sex is a neutral word.
Those poor innocent children! Everything and anything must be done to protect them! If not, they will turn out gay!
Obviously, that presupposes that homosexuality is spread by the word of mouth. Like how you convert people other people into your way of thinking. If only it was so.
They who have use the power of words to gather support and spread paranoia are of course wary of it. But hardened minds who think that homosexuality is a choice fail to understand that it is not. Hearing and repeating the word gay doesn't make one turn gay.
Just like how if I say the word heterosexual one thousand times make me want to place my privates into a woman's down under.
But of course you want to admit that you are wrong and irrational would be a great humiliation. Never mind logic, the book says homosexuality is wrong means it is wrong. Never mind that the cold hard evidence shows otherwise.
Because when one start doubting, the whole system of belief begins to crack. The stand on homosexuality is one small part of the belief but ultimately it still is part of it. Admitting a mistake is tantamount to doubting the whole belief, which has taken years to develop and solidify in the cerebral cortex. It would crumble their confidence as no one willingly admits they are wrong.
It is just incomprehensible that someone who is smart enough to be a doctor or a lawyer could be wrong.
But didn't someone say to err is human. Oh wait, that wasn't in the book so it must be not true. So they could not be wrong.
I can understand that they have worked hard to get up on that high moral horse of theirs, surely they are very afraid to fall from it.
That is why when they are afraid of science. Science questions everything. Ideas and hypotheses are always being tested by other scientists. You said this is true, let me try to replicate it. There is a check and balance. You said this is possible, then please show it to me.
But who checks what they do? Who do they answer to when they spread fear and tell lies?
Nobody. They can get away with it because they believe that sitting on a horse gives them the right.
And they are unhappy when the people around them throw horseshit to their faces.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Ramblings, sunny hot weather
The common topic of complaint/whining for the past two weeks was the weather. I was already sweating the moment I stepped out from the shower and into my room.
Nothing much has happened over the past three weeks since I came back from KL. It was basically more work and work. Though I did manage to finish this gay novel called When You Don't See Me. It was quite good but the ending was a bit flat.
Though I quite enjoyed it, I didn't think that it was gay enough. It was mostly about Nick, a 19 year-old living in Manhattan who lost a loved from September 11. He dropped out of art school because he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Very real people with real problems. Probably I was expecting more drama and excitement; I don't know.
I am now reading a book on cognitive dissonance. It is an interesting aspect of human behaviour whereby we always justify one idea when two opposing ideas exist. It shows that we are more governed by emotions than logic when it happens. An obvious example would be George W Bush continuing with mobilisation of more US troops to Iraq even when it was obvious that there was no WMD.
Meanwhile, the AWARE saga over here has me really riled up when I read the news about the new guard. An example of my own cognitive dissonance.
On a side note, I haven't been watching many movies recently and there are quite a few great movies now like Revolutionary Road and Taken.
There is a long weekend coming up and I really forward to it.
Nothing much has happened over the past three weeks since I came back from KL. It was basically more work and work. Though I did manage to finish this gay novel called When You Don't See Me. It was quite good but the ending was a bit flat.
Though I quite enjoyed it, I didn't think that it was gay enough. It was mostly about Nick, a 19 year-old living in Manhattan who lost a loved from September 11. He dropped out of art school because he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Very real people with real problems. Probably I was expecting more drama and excitement; I don't know.
I am now reading a book on cognitive dissonance. It is an interesting aspect of human behaviour whereby we always justify one idea when two opposing ideas exist. It shows that we are more governed by emotions than logic when it happens. An obvious example would be George W Bush continuing with mobilisation of more US troops to Iraq even when it was obvious that there was no WMD.
Meanwhile, the AWARE saga over here has me really riled up when I read the news about the new guard. An example of my own cognitive dissonance.
On a side note, I haven't been watching many movies recently and there are quite a few great movies now like Revolutionary Road and Taken.
There is a long weekend coming up and I really forward to it.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Handsome suit
There is a happiness which you can never have unless you're being yourself - taken from the movie Handsome Suit.
That movie was more enjoyable than I had expected. It was a friend who organised the movie outing. If it was me, I wouldn't have chosen it.
Basically it was like a Japanese version of 300 Pound Beauty, only that the protoganist is a guy instead of a girl. How an ugly guy was given the chance to try out on a suit (which looked like the Michelin Man) that could transform him into a slim and gorgeous looking guy who is popular with the ladies everywhere he goes and eventually become the hottest male model in Japan.
When Takura had to finally decide between choosing between his original self who is a great cook, loving and always cheerful and Anni, the model superstar who could have the greatest happiness surrounded by adoring fans, the audience could really sympathize with him. Being ugly means he has to put up with people making fun of him, discrimination and sometimes subjected to downright cruel treatment from the rest of society.
The truth is that sometimes beautiful people do get away with things. They seemed to live better lives. But Takuro realized that being treated nicely by people he doesn't know or adored by fans is not what makes him happy. It was his customers' satisfied smile, his friends' jokes and his assistant's infectious joy; all the little happiness in his life which he truly treasures.
It's a little reminder to wake up, look carefully and smell the roses.
Overall, a good movie with a timeless message packed with humour and comic situations. Go catch it!
That movie was more enjoyable than I had expected. It was a friend who organised the movie outing. If it was me, I wouldn't have chosen it.
Basically it was like a Japanese version of 300 Pound Beauty, only that the protoganist is a guy instead of a girl. How an ugly guy was given the chance to try out on a suit (which looked like the Michelin Man) that could transform him into a slim and gorgeous looking guy who is popular with the ladies everywhere he goes and eventually become the hottest male model in Japan.
When Takura had to finally decide between choosing between his original self who is a great cook, loving and always cheerful and Anni, the model superstar who could have the greatest happiness surrounded by adoring fans, the audience could really sympathize with him. Being ugly means he has to put up with people making fun of him, discrimination and sometimes subjected to downright cruel treatment from the rest of society.
The truth is that sometimes beautiful people do get away with things. They seemed to live better lives. But Takuro realized that being treated nicely by people he doesn't know or adored by fans is not what makes him happy. It was his customers' satisfied smile, his friends' jokes and his assistant's infectious joy; all the little happiness in his life which he truly treasures.
It's a little reminder to wake up, look carefully and smell the roses.
Overall, a good movie with a timeless message packed with humour and comic situations. Go catch it!
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