A leaf from the book of my life

I preached against homosexuality, but I was wrong

2011-03-31T00:37:00.000+08:00

If only there were more people like him.

Taken from here.

A recent poll shows a huge shift in American attitudes toward gay marriage, from a 32 percent approval in 2004 to 53 percent today.

I am one of those people who changed their minds.

In 1989 when I was ordained as a minister to serve a small church in North Carolina, homosexuality was an invisible issue. Gay rights were barely on the radar of mainstream churches. The idea of an openly gay pastor was beyond the pale.   I knew there were "gay churches," of course, but I did not believe one could be a practicing homosexual and a Christian. The Bible was straightforward on this issue. It all seemed incredibly obvious to me.

But over the next five years, homosexuality not only became an issue -- it became The Issue. Sides were drawn, and those of us in the middle were pulled to either end. I was a biblical Christian, of the "hate the sin, love the sinner" crowd. And so it seemed clear that I could not fully accept, ordain and marry gays. If I was going to be forced to choose a side, that was mine.

The truth is, I was put out that this was an issue. Feeding the hungry, preaching the gospel, comforting the afflicted, standing up to racial intolerance -- these were the struggles I signed up for, not determining the morality of what adults did in their bedrooms.

But the debate would not go away. It came up, again and again, year after year, pushed by activists on either end. Each time, I grudgingly voted to hold the traditional line and limit the role of gays in the church. But I felt increasingly uncomfortable. What I believed was biblically correct began to feel less and less right in my heart.

While the church was fighting it out, I was going through my own battle. I moved to Alaska in 1996, but the debate followed me. And three major things happened which started to crack the wall of my complacency.

First, I had a long, online conversation with a gay Christian man who had wrestled with his sexuality and finally decided, as he put it, that God was more concerned with his pride than his sexuality. He was hesitant to talk about the subject when I first broached it, partially because every other pastor he'd talked to wanted to convert him. But in the end, he's the one who taught me. He surprised me by saying he did not know he was gay until he was in his early 20s. (He just thought he had an extraordinary respect for women.)

Next, a parishioner asked me to do an exorcism for him because he was gay. He had tried everything else he could think of -- therapy, prayer, will power, alcohol, support groups, marriage -- and nothing worked. It was a heartbreaking situation. As a minister I may have questioned the sinfulness of his actions, but I absolutely knew he was not demon-possessed.   

Then I met a woman whose husband had left her for another man. They were a clergy couple, serving a small-town church. She had every right to be angry and hurt, but I was awed by her grace. She told me he was the best minister she had ever known. (From his work record, I would agree.) He simply got to the point where he could no longer live the lie of his sexuality. Of course he had to leave the ministry once he came out. It must have been a hideous choice: Pretend to be something he was not, or leave his calling because of the person he loved.  

These experiences shook my worldview. It became clear to me that none of these men had chosen to be gay, just as I had never chosen to be heterosexual. How could I condemn someone for something that was really not their fault? Meanwhile, I was experiencing the slow disintegration of my own marriage. Needless to say, it was hard for me to condemn anyone else for their relationships when mine was in such bad shape. I began moving closer to the center. If homosexuality was a "sin," I wanted to add an asterisk to it.

Toward the end of my parish ministry, I was approached by five individuals who demanded that I do a sermon to come out strong against any acceptance of gays and lesbians in the church. They wanted to hear what the Bible said on the issue. The funny thing was, all five of them were divorced and remarried. Had I done a sermon on what the Bible said about divorce, every one of them would have left the church in a huff.

I did that sermon, however, and it was not my best hour as a Minister of Word and Sacrament. In my research, I found that the Bible was more nuanced about the issue than I previously believed, and I tried to convey that, but ultimately I still came out against acceptance of homosexuality. Now, I wish I'd been more upfront about how my own views were transforming, but I took a back-door approach to the subject. I talked about all the sins according to the Bible, and said if we were going to start throwing out sinners from our church, I wanted to start with the gossips.

Looking back, I see how much my own opinions had been formed by the fact that I was representing a split congregation. Our church, like so many, was divided. And while the people who believed it should be accepted were not going to leave if we maintained a position of non-acceptance, those who felt it was a sin would bolt in a heartbeat if we ever allowed gay clergy or gay marriage. If they bolted, half our budget would go out the door. I knew the issue could tear the church apart. What I didn't realize was how it could tear apart the people in the church as well.

Every year we send young people to our national meeting as youth delegates. In a year when gay ordination was going to be discussed (again), I sat down with our selected delegate to share some of my own thoughts on the topic. Later, the person declined the position. I was given reasons, but none of them made any real sense until I learned, many years later, that the person had come out of the closet. What had I said back then? I couldn't remember exactly, but I am pretty sure it boiled down to the idea that there was no place for homosexuals in our church.

In 2005 I left the parish ministry to work as a hospital chaplain. Part of the reason for leaving was my separation. But also, I was tired of trying to live up to standards that I did not fully agree with.

With distance, I could see the mean-spirited nature of the anti-gay movement, and the naked way large Christian organizations used the "gay threat" to raise money. Free from the constraints of a congregation, I could spend more time actually looking at the biblical texts that deal with homosexuality, and I was surprised to find they were not as clear as I had supposed they were. At this point, I have done a 180 on the topic. And I believe it's a change for the good.

So why had we singled out homosexuality as a litmus test for True Christianity in the first place? Why had it become such a lightning rod for self-righteousness?

One reason, I think, is that it's easy to condemn homosexuality if you are not gay. It is much harder than condemning pride, or lust or greed, things that most practicing Christians have struggled with. It is all too easy to make homosexuality about "those people," and not me. If I were to judge someone for their inflated sense of pride, or their tendency to worship various cultural idols, I would feel some personal stake, some cringe of self-judgment. Not so with homosexuality.   

Now I am wondering why, if two gay people want to commit their lives to one another, they should ever be denied that chance. No church or pastor should be forced to perform those ceremonies, and they can choose not to recognize gay marriage for their adherents. But the constitution of the Presbyterian Church does not explicitly forbid a pastor from being a thief, a murderer, or an egotistical jerk. It is not designed to do these things. It does prohibit a gay person from becoming a pastor. All I can ask is: Why?

Are you ready for a relationship?

2010-11-15T00:02:00.004+08:00

A lot of people want to be in a relationship. They desire and dream about it. It seems nice to have somebody to be there for you, to love and take good care of you. To cuddle and hold hands in the park. All very sweet and dandy.

But a relationship is not just about enjoying all those. There is more to it and there is hard work involved. There is also giving, not just taking.

As such, some people are just not ready for a relationship. And you can't blame them.

I just finished reading a book called Will Grayson, Will Grayson which was also reviewed in last week's The Star. It is about two teenagers with the same name of Will Grayson. One is straight and the other is not. The gay one has depression and doesn't believe that he deserves to be loved and have good things happen to him.

Of course, when you have such thoughts in your head and have a boyfriend who is very optimistic and sees the good in everybody, it is a recipe for disaster and much drama. Will Grayson doesn't understand what the boyfriend sees in him and the boyfriend has to constantly remind him that he is a wonderful person who can't see that in himself.

The point that I am trying to say is just that some people are not ready for a relationship and the other party have to accept it. The other party could also choose to ignore that fact and be patient with this issue or somehow work together towards resolving it.

Worse is that person does not know he is not ready and keeps on looking for a partner but it only leads to doomed affairs and breakups.

I suppose this happens more often when one is younger and doesn't know what he wants yet. There might still be issues with self identity, confidence, maturity, lack of understanding, depression etc. I believe this could be one reason why relationships when we are younger doesn't last very long.

Once you have overcome whatever obstacle that prevents you from forming a relationship, you are all set and ready for one!

Japanese dinner

2010-11-08T21:39:00.000+08:00

My parents have been frequenting this Japanese restaurant at Centrepoint for the past month or so. The place is called U-Yen. It's buffet style, but they have ala-carte too.

I thought the buffet was not too bad for the price they charge. It's RM50 per person and they have oysters, sushi, tempura and other cooked food.

What I had on Sunday were ala-carte.

Oysters in lemon juice with fish flakes on top

Prawn salad. All the prawns are underneath the greens

Salmon and butterfish salad. The butterfish were very sweet.

Grilled duck. These were delicious too.

Home sweet home

2010-11-07T22:49:00.000+08:00

Almost six months since I last updated. Guess I was too lazy and didn't have any inspiration to write.

This year really passed by quick. It's less than 2 months to 2011 and the big 3-0 for me. I really don't know where all the days and weeks went. Mostly work, study, watch movies.

But I think this year I spent most of my time at work. Seems more than the previous years. I was distracted at work for 2-3 months and my work performance suffered. Probably that explained the additional effort to do the same amount of work.

Also, I skipped my Phuket trip and only went to Yogyakarta in September.

Major changes for the past few months was my moving to a new place. I'm in Bishan now as JJ is happily enjoying retirement LOL

I'm glad that my exam is finally over. I haven't watched a movie in two months and I just have to break the drought. I watched Red at 1115pm on Thursday. It was funny, implausible and yet totally enjoyable. Highly recommended.

On a more serious note, I had feelings of missing home. Miss the warmth and closeness of family, friends and the bf. I miss the home-cooked food. Perhaps the idea of going home for good has grown stronger and deeper as I realized that I have been devoting more time to work.

Ultimately, life is all about people and relationships, not work.

Granted, I enjoy working with my colleagues. Some have become really good friends and I will definitely miss them when I go back to KL.

Home will always be home.

Home sweet home - May

2010-05-23T21:16:00.003+08:00

I was back in KL last weekend after a three month absence. Home is still home, no matter how bad the things are.

Somehow I managed to meet Nyk everyday. First, it was a friend's birthday dinner at Fukuharu. The food is quite good for the kind of price they charge. The excellent service and great ambiance that really enhanced the whole dinner experience. Definitely recommended and we will definitely go back again next time!

The next day was swimming at my condo's pool, followed by siew pau. I taught him how to swim properly with his legs and some unintentional touching ensued.

I also watched Ip Man 2 for the second time. This time was with my family, as I had already watched it in Singapore with my god brother. Still enjoyable, but a third time will be overkill.

This trip back was pretty short and I didn't have the chance to meet anyone else. Oh well. But I am planning to come back a little more frequent than every 3 months! I miss my family, the food and most of all, my dearest boyfie!

9 Reasons Straight Men Should Be Gay

2010-03-17T23:28:00.003+08:00

Found this article here. Quite funny, but at the same time very true from a straight guy's point of view. Some points are pretty lame though e.g. no 2 and 5.

Enjoy!

9 Good Reasons Straight Men Should Explore Homosexuality
Fellow frustrated heterosexual males: are you tired of being alone? Sick of hearing "there are plenty of fish in the sea"? Well, up to now, we’ve only ever considered half the fish that are even out there, haven't we? What about the other half? What about the fish that are gay?

If there's a little gay in all of us, then here are nine good reasons why letting that flag fly could work if your hetero single life is in the dumps. Get ready to open your mind, among other things, to new horizons.

1. Attract More Women
This may seem counter intuitive given that we’ll now be having sex with men, but hear me out: it’s a scientific fact that women like gay guys.

Women love that whole “hard to get” attitude and what’s harder to get than a gay guy?

Oh, and there’s the whole "since we're gay, we'll understand women". Not because we’ll be more like women but because we’ll actually be listening to them rather than trying to figure out how to get in their pants.

So “hard to get” plus being more understanding will equal more women if we decide to swing back. Back-up plans, my friend, is the name of this game.

2. Run Hollywood
We all know it's hard to make it down in Hollywood because it’s difficult to find an "in".

Well, according to this old guy I met while in the swamps of Georgia “Jews and gays run Hollywood.”

Well we might not be Jewish, but we could possibly be gay if we tried it and liked it - and that transition takes a LOT less reading. Plus, those of us who are Jewish will suddenly have TWO avenues to pursue in our pop culture domination. Think about it.

3. Double Your Wardrobe
When we move in with our new lover we’ll immediately have access to a whole new closet full of clothes (and according to Queer Eye it'll all be trendy and fashionable).

So if you’ve been putting off buying a new pack of underwear, just consider what kind of money you could save by going gay and moving in with a dude you share more than just a bathroom with.

4. Be Funnier
Gay guys are naturally funnier. What might get YOU slapped will just make everyone think a gay guy's "sassy".

If we become gay, then we can be guaranteed an increase of at least two humor points (which would help this particular column) as well as a FIFTY percent increase in invites to cocktail parties. That’s just simple math, folks.

5. Make New Friends
Being gay is going to throw us into a whole new social network. The great thing about being gay right now is that the LGBT community is being persecuted by right-wingers over the marriage and military issues.

“But that’s not great at all!” - You, just now.

Wrong! Uniting against persecution has always formed the strongest bonds between people. Becoming gay will provide us with friendships that just might be the strongest we’ll ever know.

6. No Unwanted Pregnancies
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. We can have all the sex we want and never have to worry about the dreaded unwanted child down the line. Ok, sometimes you'll have some other serious shit to worry about in regards to sex, but screaming babies won't be one of 'em.

When we’re finally ready for children, we’ll just adopt like those guys on “Modern Family.”

7. Get in Better Shape
Let’s face it, gay dudes are in much better shape than we are. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I had a friend who came out and had rock hard abs only six weeks later. Dudes just have really high standards and it's really hard to please us. Just ask any girl that reads Cosmo.

The pressure of having to please dudes is WAY better than any workout system you'll find on TV.

8. Have More Fun at Concerts
There’s something about being a proud gay man that strips down social barriers far more than being a repressed straight man does.

Being gay will mean we can get way more excited when our favorite band takes the stage, so much that we can belt out that scream we want to yell instead of just cheering, clapping over our heads and looking around for the nearest girl to "protect".

This will allow us to just tune out the world, DANCE (for a change) and have way more fun than we have ever had before at our favorite concerts.

9. Even Playing Field
When you're gay, your partner will never, ever withhold sex as a punishment or use sex as a weapon.

There is no sex as a bargaining ploy to get something else. And oral sex is also never an issue. It's not for "special occasions" It is just a given.

According to my gay friend Eric: "gay men are easy. You won't need to take them on a bunch of expensive dates to get some action. For gay guys, sex is like a handshake, and the "getting to know you" part comes afterwards. As it should be...

...They just like sex as much as we do and want it just as often..." and that in of itself, friends, is the king of reasons to give switching teams a try.

Batter up!

Rings

2010-01-18T22:45:00.003+08:00

I bought a pair of rings for Nyk and myself last month. I find that it is unique as I have never come across red stainless steel rings. Usually they come in black.

Nyk was in town over the weekend and I thought I would bring him for dim sum at Crystal Jade. The previous time that I was there, my colleagues and I enjoyed the food. But he didn't quite like the taste of the siew mai, wu kok and pork ribs. I think the only thing he found decent was the chicken feet and siew loong pau.

As the waitress passed the bill back to me, she noticed our matching rings. This was what transpired in Mandarin:
Waitress: Wah, your rings very nice hor. Matching some more!
Me: Errr .... yeah, they are quite unique which was why I bought them.
Waitress: Yeah, very unique. What are those patterns on the rings? Do they mean anything?
Nyk: They are Tibetan inscriptions.
Waitress: (to another waitress standing nearby) Hey. Come and see. Aren't the rings beautiful? Matching some more.
Other waitress: Yeah, it is quite nice.
(I was getting a bit embarrassed by the attention)
Waitress: Where did you buy them?
Me: I bought it online.
Waitress: You mean from the internet? Is it expensive?
Me: About 40 dollars.
Waitress: Wah, not cheap le. What are they made of?
Nyk: Stainless steel.
Waitress: Oooh ....
Me: I think we have to go now ....
Waitress: Sure sure. Thank you. Please come again.

That was really unexpected. I wonder if it was all because I had my head on Nyk's shoulder 10 minutes before I paid for the bill LOLL

Pink feathers flock together

2009-10-24T17:29:00.003+08:00

My colleagues sometimes ask me whether I think their friends are gay or not and I will go through that guy's friends list to determine his sexuality.

Obviously this is not a foolproof way to tell but I think it is pretty accurate. Logically speaking, how many gay friends would a straight guy have? I would say none or at most zero.

Unless that guy happens to work in the creative industry like fashion or hairdressing.

So when I found this article, its findings are not surprising. To cater for someone who doesn't like reading long articles, these are the key paragraphs.

Using data from the social network Facebook, they made a striking discovery: just by looking at a person’s online friends, they could predict whether the person was gay. They did this with a software program that looked at the gender and sexuality of a person’s friends and, using statistical analysis, made a prediction.

The two students had no way of checking all of their predictions, but based on their own knowledge outside the Facebook world, their computer program appeared quite accurate for men, they said. People may be effectively “outing” themselves just by the virtual company they keep.

The idea behind the MIT work, done in 2007, is as old as the adage that birds of a feather flock together. For years, sociologists have known of the “homophily principle” - the tendency for similar people to group together. People of one race tend to have spouses, confidants, and friends of the same race, for example. Jernigan and Mistree downloaded data from the Facebook network, choosing as their sample people who had joined the MIT network and were in the classes 2007-2011 or graduate students. They were interested in three things people frequently fill in on their social network profile: their gender, a category called “interested in” that they took to denote sexuality, and their friend links.

Of course, this is not an excuse to go "unfriending" all your gay friends. It's just to let you be aware that this it is possible to be outed this way, but still it is pure speculation on their part. There's no way to be sure unless it is from the horse's mouth.

Youngest Headmaster in the World

2009-10-13T16:50:00.003+08:00

This is one the most inspirational stories I have ever heard. Babar Ali really has my utmost admiration and respect. May he continue with his wonderful work and bring change to his community and the world.

From the BBC:
At 16 years old, Babar Ali must be the youngest headmaster in the world. He's a teenager who is in charge of teaching hundreds of students in his family's backyard, where he runs classes for poor children from his village.

The story of this young man from Murshidabad in West Bengal is a remarkable tale of the desire to learn amid the direst poverty.

Babar Ali's day starts early. He wakes, pitches in with the household chores, then jumps on an auto-rickshaw which takes him part of the 10km (six mile) ride to the Raj Govinda school. The last couple of kilometres he has to walk.

The school is the best in this part of West Bengal. There are hundreds of students, boys and girls. The classrooms are neat, if bare. But there are desks, chairs, a blackboard, and the teachers are all dedicated and well-qualified.

As the class 12 roll-call is taken, Babar Ali is seated in the middle in the front row. He's a tall, slim, gangly teenager, studious and smart in his blue and white uniform. He takes his notes carefully. He is the model student.

Babar Ali is the first member of his family ever to get a proper education.

"It's not easy for me to come to school because I live so far away," he says, "but the teachers are good and I love learning. And my parents believe I must get the best education possible that's why I am here."

Raj Govinda school is government-run so it is free, all Babar Ali has to pay for is his uniform, his books and the rickshaw ride to get there. But still that means his family has to find around 1,800 rupees a year ($40, £25) to send him to school. In this part of West Bengal that is a lot of money. Many poor families simply can't afford to send their children to school, even when it is free.

Chumki Hajra is one who has never been to school. She is 14 years old and lives in a tiny shack with her grandmother. Their home is simple A-frame supporting a thatched roof next to the rice paddies and coconut palms at the edge of the village. Inside the hut there is just room for a bed and a few possessions.

Every morning, instead of going to school, she scrubs the dishes and cleans the homes of her neighbours. She's done this ever since she was five. For her work she earns just 200 rupees a month ($5, £3). It's not much, but it's money her family desperately needs. And it means that she has to work as a servant everyday in the village.

"My father is handicapped and can't work," Chumki tells me as she scrubs a pot. "We need the money. If I don't work, we can't survive as a family. So I have no choice but to do this job."

But Chumki is now getting an education, thanks to Babar Ali. The 16-year-old has made it his mission to help Chumki and hundreds of other poor children in his village. The minute his lessons are over at Raj Govinda school, Babar Ali doesn't stop to play, he heads off to share what he's learnt with other children from his village.

At four o'clock every afternoon after Babar Ali gets back to his family home a bell summons children to his house. They flood through the gate into the yard behind his house, where Babar Ali now acts as headmaster of his own, unofficial school.

Lined up in his back yard the children sing the national anthem. Standing on a podium, Babar Ali lectures them about discipline, then study begins.

Babar Ali gives lessons just the way he has heard them from his teachers. Some children are seated in the mud, others on rickety benches under a rough, homemade shelter. The family chickens scratch around nearby. In every corner of the yard are groups of children studying hard.

Babar Ali was just nine when he began teaching a few friends as a game. They were all eager to know what he learnt in school every morning and he liked playing at being their teacher.

Now his afternoon school has 800 students, all from poor families, all taught for free. Most of the girls come here after working, like Chumki, as domestic helps in the village, and the boys after they have finished their day's work labouring in the fields.

"In the beginning I was just play-acting, teaching my friends," Babar Ali says, "but then I realised these children will never learn to read and write if they don't have proper lessons. It's my duty to educate them, to help our country build a better future."

Including Babar Ali there are now 10 teachers at the school, all, like him are students at school or college, who give their time voluntarily. Babar Ali doesn't charge for anything, even books and food are given free, funded by donations. It means even the poorest can come here.

"Our area is economically deprived," he says. "Without this school many kids wouldn't get an education, they'd never even be literate."

Seated on a rough bench squeezed in with about a dozen other girls, Chumki Hajra is busy scribbling notes.

Her dedication to learning is incredible to see. Every day she works in homes in the village from six in the morning until half past two in the afternoon, then she heads to Babar Ali's school. At seven every evening she heads back to do more cleaning work.

Chumki's dream is to one day become a nurse, and Babar Ali's classes might just make it possible.

The school has been recognised by the local authorities, it has helped increase literacy rates in the area, and Babar Ali has won awards for his work.

The youngest children are just four or five, and they are all squeezed in to a tiny veranda. There are just a couple of bare electric bulbs to give light as lessons stretch into the evening, and only if there is electricity.

And then the monsoon rain begins. Huge drops fall as the children scurry for cover, slipping in the mud. They crowd under a piece of plastic sheeting. Babar Ali shouts an order. Lessons are cancelled for the afternoon otherwise everyone will be soaked. Having no classrooms means lessons are at the mercy of the elements.

The children climb onto the porch of a nearby shop as the rain pours down. Then they hurry home through the downpour. Tomorrow they'll be back though. Eight hundred poor children, unable to afford an education, but hungry for anything they can learn at Babar Ali's school.

The rabbit and the tortoise

2009-10-01T23:54:00.006+08:00

So my housemate got attached. With Bunny.

Finally.

Seriously I was thinking like it was not going to happen anytime soon. Or even proceed anywhere.

If I were him, I would be celebrating my third month anniversary by now.

But then that's just me. I can't stand it when things are moving so slowly. If I like someone I would have made my move.

Carpe diem.

Of course, I have had my fair share of rejections. But no pain no gain.

As I said, that's just me. My meat is someone's else poison.

Still, I get to claim some credit on how things have worked out. LOL.

Anyway, best of luck to the both of them. It's always good when my friends get a partner in their life. They make a great couple because they are very similar in so many ways.

P/S In case someone gets offended by the title post, it's because I think it's quite catchy. One can look at it in a positive way. Think proverbs.

Price of admission

2009-09-21T20:09:00.002+08:00

Something useful I found on a gay forum. He takes a long time to say it, but basically he's saying that we have to pay the price of admission to have a relationship. And the price of admission is his or her flaws.

September update

2009-09-06T23:55:00.000+08:00

Blogger has been acting up on my PC. Not sure whether it is their problem or mine.

Anyway, sorry for the quite long hiatus. This past month since my return from Bali has been mostly work and studying. I don't even watch that many movies anymore.

Life has been quite good. SK was down in Singapore last weekend. She cooked chicken curry and made soup for my friends and me. That was a wonderful lunch surrounded by excellent company.

The week before, I went to Nick's place for lunch. That was another delicious lunch with braised pork and Hainanese chicken. It was followed by an afternoon of card game of Taboo.

Oh, I had an experience of fish spa three weekends ago. It was my first time and frankly I wouldn't do it again. Sure, it was relaxing and kinda fun but the novelty kinda wore off after 10 minutes. Personally, the feeling from the fishes feeding from my feet was more pricklish than ticklish; more pins-and-needles like than gentle nibbles.

Nyk has been on and off sick for the past couple of weeks. That was quite worrying. For now, there is a persistent cough that remains.

So that's about it for my update. I am sure you guys have more exciting things in your life than mine at the moment. Cheers!

Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'

2009-08-16T12:45:00.000+08:00

HUNTINGTON BEACH – Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.

From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.

The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.

Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film.

With her daughter’s vigil planned for Friday, Lisa Curtin reflected about how grateful she is that Pixar – and "Up" – were a part of her only child’s last day.

“When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie,” said Curtin, 46. “I just know that word ‘Up’ and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven.”

Pixar officials declined to comment on the story or name the employees involved.

THE PREVIEWS

Colby was diagnosed with vascular cancer on Dec. 23, 2005 after doctors found a tumor in her liver. At the time of her death, her stomach was about 94 inches around, swollen with fluids the cancer wouldn’t let her body properly digest. The rest of her body probably weighed about 45 pounds, family friend Carole Lynch said.

Colby had gone to Newport Elementary School and was known for making others laugh, family friend Terrell Orum-Moore said. Colby loved to dance, sing, swim and seemed to have a more mature understanding of the world than other children her age, Orum-Moore said.

On April 28, Colby went to see the Dream Works 3-D movie "Monsters Vs. Aliens" but was impressed by the previews to "Up."

“It was from then on, she said, ‘I have to see that movie. It is so cool,’” Lynch said.

Colby was a movie fan, Lisa Curtin said, and she latched onto Pixar’s movies because she loved animals.

Two days later Colby’s health began to worsen. On June 4 her mother asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair for Colby so she could visit a theater to see "Up." However, the weekend went by and the wheelchair was not delivered, Lisa Curtin said.

By June 9, Colby could no longer be transported to a theater and her family feared she would die without having seen the movie.

At that point, Orum-Moore, who desperately wanted Colby to get her last wish, began to cold-call Pixar and Disney to see if someone could help.

Pixar has an automated telephone answering system, Orum-Moore said, and unless she had a name of a specific person she wanted to speak to, she could not get through. Orum-Moore guessed a name and the computer system transferred her to someone who could help, she said.

Pixar officials listened to Colby’s story and agreed to send someone to Colby’s house the next day with a DVD of "Up," Orum-Moore recalled.

She immediately called Lisa Curtin, who told Colby.

“Do you think you can hang on?” Colby’s mother said.

“I’m ready (to die), but I’m going to wait for the movie,” the girl replied.

THE MOVIE

At about 12:30 p.m. the Pixar employee came to the Curtins’ home with the DVD.

He had a bag of stuffed animals of characters in the movie and a movie poster. He shared some quirky background details of the movie and the group settled in to watch Up.

Colby couldn't see the screen because the pain kept her eyes closed so her mother gave her a play-by-play of the film.

At the end of the film, the mother asked if her daughter enjoyed the movie and Colby nodded yes, Lisa Curtin said.

The employee left after the movie, taking the DVD with him, Lynch said.

“He couldn’t have been nicer,” said Lynch who watched the movie with the family. “His eyes were just welled up.”

After the movie, Colby’s dad, Michael Curtin, who is divorced from Lisa Curtin, came to visit.

Colby died with her mom and dad nearby at 9:20 p.m.

Among the Up memorabilia the employee gave Colby was an “adventure book” – a scrap book the main character’s wife used to chronicle her journeys.

“I’ll have to fill those adventures in for her,” Lisa Curtin said.

Interesting observations

2009-08-15T00:09:00.003+08:00

Quite a few of my university got or are getting married this year. And I have a few observations which I find to be interesting.

1. They are not walking down the aisle with the person whom they were dating during university days, which were only 5 years ago.

2. They were with their former boyfriends / girlfriends for quite some time, at least two or three years

3. The person they are getting married to is someone they have dated for less than two years

These led me to think, are their biological clocks ticking? What's the hurry? Also I know for sure there are no "accidents".

I really don’t know.

True, the length of time of a relationship is no guarantee that it will end in marriage. But surely, it must have meant something too.

Or could it be that their university relationships somehow have taught them one of lives greatest lessons about their preferred qualities in a partner that they applied it and found the person to marry soon after?

Anyone care to share your thoughts?

August update

2009-08-10T23:15:00.000+08:00

I just came back from Bali on Saturday. It was a really wonderful and relaxing vacation for me. I enjoyed the beautiful culture, food and the friendly people.

There were still many Caucasians there. The bombing in Jakarta recently did not seem to deter them.

I am still in holiday mood. I will post up more about the trip soon.

Barhopping

2009-07-26T23:18:00.000+08:00

There were a few friends who were down visiting from KL, namely DH, Alexander and JL. So I met up with them and brought them to this restaurant called Hachitei which is in the CBD area to avoid the weekend dinner crowd.

DH who doesn't drink beer, practically went orgasmic when he found out that the restaurant has this Japanese beer called Suntory. This is the only beer that he drinks. Apparently, it can't be found in KL.

We ordered 3 bottles and I have to agree that it is very nice and smooth.

DH hasn't been to the clubs here and he was quite keen to check out the scene. I haven't been clubbing for a long time and I wasn't too keen on it, but I changed my mind.

We practically did the rounds all in one night, except for Play. We were at 8 Cafe for drinks, followed by Tantric. Tantric wasn't really our thing as it was way too crowded and there were a lot Caucasians. We could barely moved in that place. And I didn't realize that there is quite a number of gay expats over here.

Next up was DYMK. The place is pretty nice and cozy for drinks. My friend was gaga over the straight Laotian waiter. All of them thought that he was quite cute but I thought he was OK. I prefer the other guy behind the bar.

We headed to Taboo next where everyone was already partying. It was only my second time there. The crowd here is mostly on the older side, as in above 20 as opposed to Play. I had an enjoyable time as I had a pretty good buzz in my head. Danced a little, but the music was not really my type. Probably should go when they have their monthly Handbag Party nights (which I learn are Kylie and Madonna kind of music, instead of techno).

The way I see it, yesterday night was more for catching up with some friends and just enjoying myself. DH and I had this mutual friend, whom we probably knew at around the same time 5 years ago. This was indeed a surprising tidbit of information. It just shows how small the gay community is.

Reached home at 4 in the morning and fell into my beauty sleep.

Singapore Science Center

2009-07-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

I am still alive thank you very much.

Anyway, I was busy entertaining Nyk when he was around the second week of July, amidst juggling my workload. There were a few reports due during the week he was here, but it all turned out quite well.

We didn't do much outing this time ~~so that he won't complain of walking too much till his feet hurt~~. We only went to the Singapore Science Center to see the Da Vinci exhibition.

The exhibition was quite interesting. They constructed many of his designs which spanned the fields of physics, mechanics, war machines, flying machines, etc.

There was also the photograph of the Mona Lisa. Apparently, by using current technology, some guy managed to reproduce the original Mona Lisa the moment Leonardo da Vinci finished painting it. They extracted the base paint, sans all the restoration paint work performed over the years.

The original looked so much more vibrant and there are really a lot of details which couldn't be seen in the current state. The current one has aged paint with a yellowish tint, which definitely pales in comparison to the original.

Oh, and da Vinci was most probably gay. He had a relationship with his young apprentice and he was always surrounded by men.

After that we went home and rest for a while before heading the airport. Unfortunately (or was it fortunately), his 7.40pm flight was delayed to midnight. We requested for the next day's flight instead. So we got to spend another night together.

And off he went the next morning.

Homowives

2009-07-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

I came across this article. Really quite sad what gay people have to go through to keep others happy. It is a delicate balance and difficult choice between your own happiness and that of others.

All of these are taken from Yawningbread.

For most gay men and lesbians in China, revealing their sexuality to their families is unimaginable. Parents expect their sons and daughters to produce heirs, an obligation that has become even more intense in a society where single-child families are the standard.
-- New York Times, 14 June 2009, Gay festival in China pushes official boundaries

The story also told about cover-up marriages like Huang Jiankun's:
To assuage his parents, he orchestrated a fake wedding to a lesbian friend, but eventually the truth came out. “The problem is when you lie, it becomes connected to another lie and you can’t keep it up,” he said.

There is a blog, in Chinese, about the predicament of wives of gay men.

Below is the translation in English.

Caring about homowife

I attended a forum that discussed the problem of “homowife”. The so-called “Homowife” (tongqi) is the wife (qi) of a homosexual (tongzi). It has been said that China has 20 million male homosexuals, of whom 80 per cent would marry a woman. These women are the “homowives”, and there would be 16 million people.

The homowife phenomenon is a phenomenon characteristic of China, seldom witnessed in other countries. In other countries, homosexuals would remain single or live together or marry other homosexuals. Very few would contract a heterosexual marriage. This difference comes about because Chinese culture places such a great emphasis on marriage and reproduction, as to make them compulsory.

During my visit to Hungary, I found out that only 10 per cent of people of marriageable age got hitched. The rest fell into three categories: single, cohabiting (living together), LAT (lovers who live apart). In this kind of society, homosexuals do not have any need at all to enter into a heterosexual marriage. People would not gossip about them and parents do not apply pressure. Unfortunately our Chinese culture is oppressive with its dictum on men and women having to get married when they reach a certain age and naming the lack of progeny as the most serious breach of filial piety – "there are three kinds of unfilial behaviour and the greatest is have no descendant". It thus forces a community of male homosexuals to marry women to have children.

The situation of the “homowife” is extremely tragic. At the seminar, there were homowives who burst into tears as they spoke, leading all of them to hug each other for a good cry. Most days, they wash their faces with tears. I heard what I considered the most shocking testimony that from a woman who told of how she even doubted her ability to attract men -- why wouldn’t her husband even want to look at her or touch her? Am I really that unworthy as a woman? She assumed that all men would treat her like that, not knowing that this is far from the truth. She did not dream that her husband would be gay. Under the circumstances, even the most beautiful and accomplished woman would not arouse him.

Homowives have started to get organized in an effort to help themselves and help others. They have started a website and a helpline to assist fellow women who have fallen into the same predicament.

Their highest priority is to prevent women from marrying homosexuals, help those who suspect the sexual orientation of their boyfriends to analyse their situation better; and in the event that the other party is a confirmed homosexual, to persuade the woman not to proceed with the marriage.

Secondly, they would like to extend a helping hand to those women who are already married to homosexuals and who would like a divorce. This includes helping them to make up their minds, relieving the pressure on them and reduce the financial and psychological damage that comes with divorce.

Thirdly, they would like to address the problems of homowives who do not want a divorce for a variety of reasons. This would include helping them to analyse the cost of keeping such a marriage going, how to communicate with their husbands and how to get along with their children.

They proposed a slogan: “Homowife ends with me”. This slogan is full of hurt and also extends concern to those who may follow in their footsteps. The slogan gives one a feeling that it is a noble cause.

I hope the majority of male homosexuals do not enter into heterosexual marriages any more and spare a thought for the feelings of the homowife.

Life, friendships and July

2009-06-20T09:56:00.000+08:00

Nyk was getting a bit wistful yesterday about friends lost and made. I suppose that is a fact of life that we have to accept - that friends come in and out of our lives all the time.

In different stages of life we would have different interests and activities and understandably, the people that we acquaint with would be different. Over time, we would have grown and move in divergent directions; we would have moved on to newer and other more exciting stuff.

But of course, this is not always the case. There would be that select few who would be with us for a very long time. Who would see us through the different stages in life and our ups and downs. Those that might even know us better than we know ourselves.

Even in this age of communications technology, its availability doesn't mean that it would be meaningfully utilised to keep in touch. The tools are all there and precisely because of that it is taken for granted. Everyone is just an email, phone call or text message away but sometimes we forget or are too lazy to use them.

There would also be others who would appear intermittently in our lives. They come in and out of lives. They reappear a few or many years later. But somehow we could still reconnect with them; there is still that bond of friendship. It’s like they have taken a break and came back from it.

I understand how he feels. I had that feeling a long time ago. Come to think of it, there are not many people whom I meet often. It is always the same group of people. They are the important people in my lives right now.

They may or may not be in the future but I guess the most important thing now is to treasure the friendship and not let it deteriorate.

Work and family takes up most of his time. Especially his mom. She has her mood swings and her mood significantly affects Nyk's mood.

Things are not balanced. One need to spend time with other groups of people too. The bonds of friendship can nurture and invigorate.

Perhaps all these negative energy points to something deeper. There could be something lying beneath it. Possibly feeling stuck in the rut? Midlife crisis which arrived much earlier?

Or maybe it is something as simple as the blues. Everyone gets it sometimes. Even I do. But this time it seems longer than usual.

There is only so much I can do cheer him up. Would like to just meet him now and make him feel better. I do feel powerless as I am not beside him now. This is one downside of long distance relationship which infuriates.

Hope you feel better soon dear. He is coming down in early July, so I am thinking I might have my work cut out for me if he is still not alright.

But of course, the sooner the clouds lift the better.

Community service

2009-06-14T22:24:00.006+08:00

My company has this annual community service thing whereby staff volunteer to spend a day or more contributing back to the community. I signed up for it last month and it happened on Friday.

The expected activities were cleaning, repairing, painting, that kinda stuff. Luckily for me, there wasn't painting involved. I know painting could be fun but really, I don't like the mess produced. And painting is less fun when you have to do a decent job of it. It is another person's house after all.

The beneficiary of these activities are underprivileged kids, defined as not doing so well in school and who come from a broken or troubled family. Mine was a 11 year old girl with a single parent. She has two older brothers. We were supposed to help make their home more conducive for studying.

Anyway out job was to help clear her stuff. They live in a one bedroom HDB. Living space is already pretty cramped but it was made worse by the countless and endless boxes of stuff stacked high from wall to ceiling. They must have at least 50 boxes of stuff.

The mom had at least 5 boxes of clothing, some of which were new but never worn before. She also had at least two dozen bags and handbags wrapped in plastic. There were more than a few sets of plates, cups, saucers and other kitchenware. She had a box full of perfume for an unknown number of years.

How she got those stuff? From years of collecting and keeping the things she received from relatives, friends, neighbours. Or even good and usable stuff which she picked up from wherever.

There we were, 10 adults helping her sort through her mess for 5 hours. We had to convince her to part with her belongings. We told her all the usable equipmend would be donated to the Salvation Army. We then had to separate the things that she wants to keep from those to be discarded.

All in all, I think we managed to achieve our target. We removed at least half of her stuff and rearrange the living room. Boxes were stacked nicely and there was more floor space. We donated a study desk and computer table to them.

There were a lot of moving and carrying of boxes and bags. We had to carry the items onto a lorry which shipped them to the Salvation Army in Bishan.

In the end, the mom was visibly happy and thankful for our help. Apparently, she had tried to clean up on her own but it wasn't as productive. That was understandable as she would certainly be hesitant to discard the stuff that she had painstakingly accumulated over the years.

She thanked us profusely for making her home more spacious and cleared up the clutter.

As for me, this wasn't what I expected when I signed up for it. Clearing up stuff didn't seem to be much of a service, but judging by their gratitude, we seemed to have contributed something meaningful into their lives.

It is not much but our little service made a difference.

Male penguins raise adopted chick

2009-06-11T22:44:00.001+08:00

Interesting news from around the world. Taken from the BBC.

Two "gay" male penguins have hatched a chick and are now rearing it as its adoptive parents, says a German zoo.

The zoo, in Bremerhaven, northern Germany, says the adult males - Z and Vielpunkt - were given an egg which was rejected by its biological parents.

It says the couple are now happily rearing the chick, said to have reached four weeks old.

The zoo made headlines in 2005 over plans to "test" the sexual orientation of penguins with homosexual traits.

Three pairs of male penguins had been seen attempting to mate with each other and trying to hatch offspring from stones.

The zoo flew in four females in a bid to get the endangered birds to reproduce - but quickly abandoned the scheme after causing outrage among gay rights activists, who accused it of interfering in the animals' behaviour.

The six "gay" penguins remain at the zoo, among them Z and Vielpunkt who are now rearing the chick together after being given the rejected egg.

"Z and Vielpunkt, both males, gladly accepted their 'Easter gift' and got straight down to raising it," said a zoo statement.

"Since the chick arrived, they have been behaving just as you would expect a heterosexual couple to do. The two happy fathers spend their days attentively protecting, caring for and feeding their adopted offspring."

Humboldt penguins are normally found in coastal Peru and Chile, but their numbers have been dwindling due to overfishing, reports the AFP news agency.

'Drive to mate'

There have been previous reports of exclusive male-to-male pairings among penguins, some of which have also included the rearing of chicks.

Homosexual behaviour is well documented in many different animals, but it is not understood in detail, says Professor Stuart West, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Oxford.

Professor West says it has been suggested that homosexual activity could serve various purposes - for instance, it may relate to social bonding and establishment of dominance among bonobo chimps, while in some bird species, females may come together to rear young.

Other animals may simply exhibit a "drive to mate", while others may, like humans, enjoy non-procreative sexual activity.

"Homosexuality is nothing unusual among animals," Bremerhaven zoo said on Wednesday.

"Sex and coupling up in our world do not necessarily have anything to do with reproduction."

Terminator Salvation

2009-06-09T23:16:00.002+08:00

I managed to catch Terminator Salvation on Sunday. It was better than I expected. The action scenes were great and exciting. Haven't felt this kind of adrenalin rush from a movie for quite some time.

You don't really have to know much about the earlier Terminator movies to follow the story. I would highly recommended it.

The next movie which I really want to watch is Up, Pixar's movie for this year. It's the highest rated movie I have come across on IMDB. Nine out of ten stars.

A logical voice

2009-05-23T12:52:00.003+08:00

It's amazing that even after the AWARE EGM on 2nd May, the issue still hasn't died completely. I suppose the Christian fundamentalists really stirred up a hornet's nest when they decided to steeplejack AWARE.

I can't remember who said it, but he said something about he didn't speak up when groups of people were taken away, in the end there is no one left to speak for you when it is your turn.

And if this source is to be believed, the mother-daughter team is deeply involved in a very fundamentalist organisations based in the U.S. I would think that this warrants a more detailed look than Siew Kum Hoong - Swiss connection.

A Reply to Letter by Dr Thio Su Mien dated 18th May 2009, taken from the author's Facebook.

Dear Sir,
It is with amazement that I read Dr Thio Su Miens letter "Gay activists a key constituency of Aware", published on the 18th of May 2009. As a responsible heterosexual member of the public, I feel that it is my duty to respond to her diatribe.

I find the fact that Dr Thio believes that Aware are pushing a pro-homosexual agenda terribly disturbing. To my knowledge, the homosexual lobby in Singapore have never had any political agenda, focusing instead on their right to acceptance in society for who they are, and as noted in the recent 'Pink Dot' gathering, on their right to select their own partners. It is a matter of deep concern that so distinguished a member of our society should display such intolerance towards the sexual inclinations of others. As a law student myself, I find it equally disturbing that a former dean of our law faculty, who must in her time have taught many of our current lawyers to critically appraise what they are told as facts of evidence, should now hold such bigoted and inflexible views herself.

Also, it is deeply disconcerting to note that Dr Thio believes that homosexuality be viewed as negative in the education system. The fact that Aware took a neutral stance when dealing with the issue, is highly laudable. It is with great pride that I say that as a Singaporean, one of the key social values I was taught during my school days was that of acceptance. Education is not about skimming over what some might deem as unpleasant fact, but about giving youth information and the power to make informed decisions over the course of their lives.

I do not understand how the CSE manual's description of anal sex, conditions the minds of teenage students towards acceptance of homosexuality when this is also practised by heterosexuals in the privacy of their own homes. Is Dr Thio oblivious to this fact? To immediately equate the two with one another is a direct admission of an agenda against the homosexually inclined.

The old guard received the vociferous support they did not because it was among their aims to promote a homosexual agenda, but merely because they accepted that certain people were inclined differently. As a 'discerning Singaporean' who has also examined the evidence in print and online accounts, I have come to the conclusion that the purpose of the 'ex-new exco' was to attack a group of people whose sole intention lay in obtaining acceptance of their status as people and not as societal non-grata. If we were to accept her argument that the old guard had a homosexual agenda, then we must also accept that Dr Thio and the group she claimed to have mentored, had an agenda based solely on their religious beliefs. This is eminently borne out by their pastors statement on the pulpit calling on his congregation to support the 'ex-new exco'.

I have always been under the impression that all religions were inclusive, and not exclusive, of human frailties. Given the plural nature of Singapore's society, it is unthinkable that a group consisting of people from a single racial background pushing a single religious agenda, represent the views of our racially diverse and secular populace. We have always been an accepting and tolerant society. The outcome of the whole 'Aware Saga' fills me with hope that we will remain so.

Akesh Abhilash

Leftward or upward?

2009-05-17T23:58:00.004+08:00

I was at Borders yesterday and saw this book called Bonk.

Looks interesting and I flipped through the pages. An interesting paragraph on the the erect penis caught my eye.

According to a Taiwanese doctor who specialises in penile implants, when the penis is erect the most common direction is to the left. This was followed by downwards, left and finally upwards. Sort of like anti-clockwise.

Indeed, this is a startling observation for me. It basically contradicts what I have observed.

From my limited *ahem* experience and the porn that I watched, I have the impression that facing north is the most common one. Thus far, I have only seen one that points left and the rest all point upward.

Anyone else care to share their empirical observations? ;p

The power of words and fear

2009-05-10T22:16:00.001+08:00

It is very difficult to change one's mind if you have already decided beforehand that you are right and gay people are sinful and plain wrong. You will disregard all facts that are contrary to your view.

In addition, it's not enough that you think that you are right, you want the society at large to have the same thoughts and opinions as you. The weapon of choice: fear. Stoke fear that the children are being taught about homosexuality; that anal sex is a neutral word.

Those poor innocent children! Everything and anything must be done to protect them! If not, they will turn out gay!

Obviously, that presupposes that homosexuality is spread by the word of mouth. Like how you convert people other people into your way of thinking. If only it was so.

They who have use the power of words to gather support and spread paranoia are of course wary of it. But hardened minds who think that homosexuality is a choice fail to understand that it is not. Hearing and repeating the word gay doesn't make one turn gay.

Just like how if I say the word heterosexual one thousand times make me want to place my privates into a woman's down under.

But of course you want to admit that you are wrong and irrational would be a great humiliation. Never mind logic, the book says homosexuality is wrong means it is wrong. Never mind that the cold hard evidence shows otherwise.

Because when one start doubting, the whole system of belief begins to crack. The stand on homosexuality is one small part of the belief but ultimately it still is part of it. Admitting a mistake is tantamount to doubting the whole belief, which has taken years to develop and solidify in the cerebral cortex. It would crumble their confidence as no one willingly admits they are wrong.

It is just incomprehensible that someone who is smart enough to be a doctor or a lawyer could be wrong.

But didn't someone say to err is human. Oh wait, that wasn't in the book so it must be not true. So they could not be wrong.

I can understand that they have worked hard to get up on that high moral horse of theirs, surely they are very afraid to fall from it.

That is why when they are afraid of science. Science questions everything. Ideas and hypotheses are always being tested by other scientists. You said this is true, let me try to replicate it. There is a check and balance. You said this is possible, then please show it to me.

But who checks what they do? Who do they answer to when they spread fear and tell lies?

Nobody. They can get away with it because they believe that sitting on a horse gives them the right.

And they are unhappy when the people around them throw horseshit to their faces.

Ramblings, sunny hot weather

2009-04-28T20:36:00.003+08:00

The common topic of complaint/whining for the past two weeks was the weather. I was already sweating the moment I stepped out from the shower and into my room.

Nothing much has happened over the past three weeks since I came back from KL. It was basically more work and work. Though I did manage to finish this gay novel called When You Don't See Me. It was quite good but the ending was a bit flat.

Though I quite enjoyed it, I didn't think that it was gay enough. It was mostly about Nick, a 19 year-old living in Manhattan who lost a loved from September 11. He dropped out of art school because he didn't know what he wanted to do with his life. Very real people with real problems. Probably I was expecting more drama and excitement; I don't know.

I am now reading a book on cognitive dissonance. It is an interesting aspect of human behaviour whereby we always justify one idea when two opposing ideas exist. It shows that we are more governed by emotions than logic when it happens. An obvious example would be George W Bush continuing with mobilisation of more US troops to Iraq even when it was obvious that there was no WMD.

Meanwhile, the AWARE saga over here has me really riled up when I read the news about the new guard. An example of my own cognitive dissonance.

On a side note, I haven't been watching many movies recently and there are quite a few great movies now like Revolutionary Road and Taken.

There is a long weekend coming up and I really forward to it.

Handsome suit

2009-04-21T23:26:00.000+08:00

There is a happiness which you can never have unless you're being yourself - taken from the movie Handsome Suit.

That movie was more enjoyable than I had expected. It was a friend who organised the movie outing. If it was me, I wouldn't have chosen it.

Basically it was like a Japanese version of 300 Pound Beauty, only that the protoganist is a guy instead of a girl. How an ugly guy was given the chance to try out on a suit (which looked like the Michelin Man) that could transform him into a slim and gorgeous looking guy who is popular with the ladies everywhere he goes and eventually become the hottest male model in Japan.

When Takura had to finally decide between choosing between his original self who is a great cook, loving and always cheerful and Anni, the model superstar who could have the greatest happiness surrounded by adoring fans, the audience could really sympathize with him. Being ugly means he has to put up with people making fun of him, discrimination and sometimes subjected to downright cruel treatment from the rest of society.

The truth is that sometimes beautiful people do get away with things. They seemed to live better lives. But Takuro realized that being treated nicely by people he doesn't know or adored by fans is not what makes him happy. It was his customers' satisfied smile, his friends' jokes and his assistant's infectious joy; all the little happiness in his life which he truly treasures.

It's a little reminder to wake up, look carefully and smell the roses.

Overall, a good movie with a timeless message packed with humour and comic situations. Go catch it!

Good Friday

2009-04-18T23:14:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging for some time now. I have quite a bit of things to pen down but somehow they were never written.

I was back in KL for the Good Friday weekend. Got a chance to finally meet up with a friend who was back from the U.K. for holiday. It was wonderful to see him again after four long years and thus far non-existent U.K. trip. I really want to go to U.K., probably next year, as I haven't been there before.

Mostly my time was spent with my family. On both Saturday and Sunday, my dad took us out for lunch which was almost an hour's drive away. That is one hour too long for me. My dad is a foodie so this kind of things happen quite often.

We had lunch at the foot of Bukit Tinggi on Saturday, where we had fresh river fish and cheap dishes. Sunday's lunch was in Sungai Besi, this restaurant tucked away in an industrial area but was featured before on a good food television program.

Nyk came over for a swim on Sunday. Admittedly I didn't get to see much of him this time, but we did what we could. I will only be seeing him next in 6 weeks' time.

Nyk is pretty stressed at work, so here's wishing that your work goes well dear.

A week with Nyk

2009-04-05T21:50:00.003+08:00

Nyk was here last week. It was great to have him here for a week, though I could only take 2 half days off. I think it was a little exhausting for him as we did quite a bit of walking on some of the days.

He arrived on Monday evening and we went for dinner at Eatzi. The food wasn't that great, but it was passable. The next day was a very busy day for me as it was the quarter end. So he had to spend the afternoon wandering about in Tanjong Pagar with James.

On Wednesday, we went for the Henderson Waves trail again. Think the whole trek from Harbourfront MRT to Hort Park is about 5 kilometers. Nyk was complaining that his feet ached thereafter.

Before that we had lunch at this place called Fre(n)sh which serves French food. He had a quiche and I had tartines. It was really quite good, though slightly on the expensive side. They had set meals throughout the day though and those are more worth it.

I got the chance to savour Nyk's cooking on Thursday. Even with the very limited available condiments at home, he managed to make do and came up with chicken chop, herbal soup and vegetables. It was really quite nice and satisfying to eat a meal cooked by a loved one.

On Saturday, we went to Botanic Gardens. My only time there had been two years ago. We spent the whole morning there and then proceeded to Shaw Tower for an affordable Thai meal.

His timing to visit me at the end of March couldn't be better, as it only coincided a little with my busy period. The week before was absolutely crazy as I had to stayed back for the whole week. So I believe that we did spend as much time as possible in that 5 days he was here.

It was really comforting to come back home to have Nyk waiting for me. I am sure he feels the same. It does make me yearn more for an actual home for the both of us.

I suppose the emotional and physical benefits of a relationship is more important that anything else. My god brother asked me the other day, how do you know that your partner is the one. I replied, you don't. A relationship is hard work. There has to be a lot of communication and giving. Of course the giving part is done willingly.

To me, love is supposed to make me want to become a better person. For him, for me. I think one of the qualities I have improved on is patience and to start with, I am not a very patient person by nature.

All in all, we had a very wonderful time last week. You should come down more often, dear.

Manhunt Singapore 2009

2009-03-29T23:26:00.004+08:00

I didn't have time to blog anything this week, so I will leave you guys some pictures I took from Manhunt Singapore 2009, held in Heeren for the past three weeks. The finals was just held yesterday.

I didn't manage to take pictures of all the participants; only those that were in my view as it wasn't easy to move around the crowds surrounding the stage. The pictures are also not cropped, my apologies.

If you noticed that there is one person that appears a lot in the pictures, he is the winner for this year's Manhunt. His name is Yu Hao.

And I do have the most pictures of him. Of course it wasn't intentional and I had no idea that he would emerge the winner. I do agree that he is cute in a boyish way. He looks the most scrawny amongst the other beefier and hunkier contestants. According to reports, he has been hitting the gym to beef up and there is improvement in his body since the preliminaries.

But my personal favourite is Jason Chee, the one in the final two pictures. Those yummy abs and he has this hot tattoo his right shoulder. Drool.

Different approaches to deal breakers

2009-03-19T22:28:00.001+08:00

Love has found its way into two persons I know. I am happy for both of them. One has been searching for some time now and the other is his first ever relationship.

Speaking of the former, she has a very different view on starting a relationship from mine. To me, the getting to know each other and dating stage is the most fun and exciting. Everything is new and fresh. We learn about each other slowly, probably starting from 20% on the first meet and progressing to a higher level of intimacy.

But after two failed relationships, she prefers to go straight to the point. No more starting from zero and progressing from there. It starts from 70% (the most embarrassing details / weakest character / most annoying traits) are shared right at the beginning. Then only they move on to the smaller details.

I was quite shocked that she would do that. But then I remember it is not that much different from those who prefer to have sex first, found out that wow sex was great, then only consider the other person for dating as steps 1-2-3. To some people, sex is the most important thing and that condition has to be satisfied first before moving on to other things.

So to start with the thing that is the deal breaker first is very practical. No point going further ahead who knows how long, possibly weeks and months ahead to find out that the deal breaker really breaks the relationship.

But to me, where is the fun in that? I know that the dating process could be long, it could get tiring if it doesn't work out and we have to start all over again.

There will always be people who don't make the cut for us but they could be perfect to someone else. Different people value different things. It may take twenty wrong guys before the right one is found, but that should not stop us from trying.

Maybe I am just a true believer in love. That even though it may hurt and the search could be long, but I believe that ultimately it is worth it.

I still remember when I first started to meet people from online. I had to repeat the same things about myself over and over to different people. It did feel tedious and pointless sometimes, but I liked the feeling of getting to know more about other people's lives, their likes and dislikes, personalities etc.

It is the journey that matters, not the destination. It is cliche and very Buddhist, but that is how I see it.

It is like shopping. The more you want something, the higher the anticipation. You talk about it, you dream about it, you crave for it very much. It is all part of the journey.

But once you buy the desired item, the feeling changes. You got it and the feeling of satisfaction can only last so long, probably a month at the most.

Of course I am not saying that things go downhill from there. I just feel that it is best to take things as they come; to go with the flow.

Still, to each his or her own. As long as it works. Thus, I sincerely wish both of my friends the best of luck and lots of happiness.

Weekends whereabouts

2009-03-16T23:04:00.003+08:00

I usually spend one weekend days outdoors and the other indoors. I like to spend time doing my own things like reading or watching some movies I download.

However, I have not been able to have this luxury for the past 6 weeks. On Saturdays I usually go to the gym right before noon and then meet up with William for lunch followed by a movie. Although William is back in Washington now, my Saturdays are still busy with outings with friends (my birthday celebration two weekends ago) and buffet lunches (last weekend).

On Sundays, either I would have a tuina session which will take the half an afternoon followed by board games or I would be in the office.

Not that I am complaining. I feel like I am getting to this new weekend routine. Previously I was recharging my batteries by staying at home and lounging. But now I am unwinding in a different way.

Sometimes, I feel like it wasn't even a weekend at all. Or that the weekend seems to zoom past faster when I spend time out of home.

I just feel like I am constantly doing and not enough time to just slow down. To reflect and contemplate.

Anyway, I have been hitting the gym at least twice a week. There is a noticeable difference in that I feel more energetic and not as tired even after a long day's work.

I suppose that's why some people just can't get enough of gymming; this boost of energy level actually feels good and could be addictive. Hence there are people who visit the gym almost every day.

Busy busy

2009-03-11T22:58:00.002+08:00

It has been a very busy week for me since 1st of March. My job is actually pretty routine, with some work days pretty slow especially at the beginning of the month. But if there are ad-hoc stuff that needs to be done then I get pretty busy. Especially when it rains, it pours. The ad-hoc stuff just gets more tedious and never-ending.

Luckily, the weekend wasn't taken over by work. Well, not completely. Two weekends ago, I thought I could finish my work by getting into office early. I underestimated the time needed, so I left it unfinished and went to gym. After that I had lunch and movie with William.

Movie was He's Just Not That Into You. It gave me some insight into the mysterious minds of the straight woman. Some things are so true, like how they always create drama when there was none, how they dissect every little action of a man and how they basically think too much. Perfectly fit my colleague to a T ;-)

Right after I left the cinema, it was back to the office for me. I managed to get the job done in 3 hours.

What a weekend!

Anyway I'm still doing the 25 things about myself list from Facebook. I didn't know it was that hard to come up with things not commonly. But let me clarify that it won't be as revealing as Nyk's!

Oscars 2009

2009-02-28T00:21:00.003+08:00

The Oscars are finally over. Not many surprises in most of the major acting categories.

I am extremely glad that I managed to catch Slumdog Millionaire last Saturday, just before the Oscars. I could definitely see why it is hugely popular. It is edgy, vibrant and essentially a message of hope.

But it did tug at my heartstrings that Mumbai kids are living in poverty and violence. They are begging and scrimping on food. Preying amongst themselves just to get by. It seems quite impossible for them to escape from poverty and violence in a city of 14 million people.

I had expected Slumdog to win Best Movie, as opposed to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. The latter is quite good as well, taking an interesting concept and making it into an engaging story. Brad Pitt was candy to the eyes as he became more yummilicious as he aged.

However, it did feel a little draggy at times. It also had a lot of similarity with Forrest Gump, which is not surprising since both the screenplays were written by the same person.

And Cate Blanchett wasn't even nominated for Best Actress! She was absolutely brilliant and completely outshone Brad Pitt. But Brad Pitt was the one who got nominated for Best Actor pulak.

Of course, Sean Penn fully deserves his second Oscar. Kudos to Dustin Lance Black too for his original screenplay award.

Kate Winslet performance was good in The Reader, but it wasn't that great to win an Oscar. Apparently, she was much better in Revolutionary Road which she wasn't nominated for.

All in all, I am extremely pleased to have watched most of the Oscar-nominated movies. The only two that I have yet to watch is Frost/Nixon and Departures. The latter is the winner for Best Foreign Film and it will be shown next week! Yay!

To be ourselves

2009-02-22T23:26:00.002+08:00

I suppose it is easier to live a life when you know what is expected of you. It is much harder to create your own choices and expectations. Takes effort to redefine ones roles and responsibilities.

I do realise that it is not easy to do so either. Many years of social conditioning can do that to people. Things like guys making the first move to ask girls out, girls not encouraged to show affection first; these things confound me.

Of course, if one is happy to live within these rules and boundaries, then it's alright. But when one is not, isn't it time to change?

We have only one life and I believe we should live it the best we could. We should be the captain of our own ship and not let the wind and seas dictate where we go.

Being true to oneself could be difficult especially when we feel obliged to please the people around us or to fulfill their expectations. I have realised that it is pointless to do so. Why live up to other people's standards? Why make others happy when you yourself is not?

It might sound selfish, but isn't there a saying about being liked and accepted for who you are, rather than someone you are not, is much better? Because in the end, the choices that we make or don't make that affect ourselves the most. People around us might prefer that we make another choice, but it is not them that live our lives. We do.

Be true to yourself, and be proud of it.

Valentine's Day 2009

2009-02-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

Valentine's Day was yesterday (like duh!). I don't find it to be any special compared to other days. Except of course retailers and restaurant owners and everyone else who sells something don't think so.

I seldom credit straight men for their intelligence and Valentine's Day is a huge illustration of that fact. I simply couldn't imagine spending $10 for a stalk of rose. Or pay a meal that is at least 2 to 3 times more expensive than other days.

I was out for gym at 11 in the morning. Had a really good workout and then headed out to Orchard Road. Love wasn't in the air yet; they were still in bed. There wasn't that many people out and about yet. No roses, no pink-wrapped gifts, no matching T-shirts.

I was thinking, "Wow, I could really enjoy this day being outside. No cliche display of mushy lovey dovey affection. Thank God for the economic recession."

I headed to Takashimaya and found that they were having a post-CNY sale. 2xist underwear were selling for $10-$15. There were not many sizes left, but I still managed to grab some.

Then I headed back to California Fitness to meet William. By this time, lovebirds had awaken and they were seen everywhere. The spirit of entrepreneurship (or taking advantage of suckers) was alive as there were stalls selling flowers and teddy bears on the street.

I ignored them.

We headed to Shokudo for lunch, which is like a Japanese Marche. I had the tonkatsu omu rice which was quite good. William had tonkatsu ramen. He also ordered a cold sake. It was my first time having sake. The alcohol taste was strong but it tasted smooth and slightly sweet. I quite like it.

After that I watched The Wrestler, the movie which Mickey Rourke is nominated for a Best Actor Oscar. He was pretty good playing the role of a has-been wrestler who tried to escape from his downtrodden life. I quite enjoyed it even though it didn't have a happy ending.

I was supposed to meet the gang at City Hall for dinner, but I was running a bit late. Wanted to eat at the Thai restaurant at Shaw Tower but unfortunately they had closed for the day. We ended up having Vietnamese at the Suntec Convention Center instead.

The plan for Valentine's was to spend time with my dear friends. There is not only romantic love to be thankful for on Valentine's. We had a great time playing board games. We laughed, we had fun and it was indeed a memorable Valentine's. Thanks for coming guys!

Of course, I would have preferred my Valentine to be with me but yeah, I would have to make do. He was deeply missed in my heart.

Hidden trail

2009-02-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

I took half day of work a few days ago to go trekking, right in this urban city of Singapore. I wouldn't have thought that the city has something like this to offer, what with the low Bukit Timah as the highest natural ground in Singapore.

I was with PL and her two friends. Our objective was to see the Henderson Wave. It is the tallest pedestrian bridge in Singapore and its shaped like a wave, hence the name.

We started trek started from somewhere near Vivocity, after having lunch at Superdog. As an aside, it was my first time eating at Superdog and I quite like the fish burger that they serve. Oh, their fries come with a beef-and-onion sauce, which I think is similar to the kind of sauce on A&W's coney dog. The fries were lovely when eaten with the sauce.

Anyway, we started with the Marang trail and ended up at Mt Faber. Mt Faber is where the expensive Jewel Box is, which houses a few high-end restaurants that has a wonderful view of the harbour and Sentosa.

View from Mt Faber, at the Jewel Box

The weather was just great with the sun mostly hidden behind clouds. It was a pleasant hike to Mt Faber. It is like trekking in wild forests, but with nicely paved paths. Not quite back to nature where the trail itself would be soil and not tiles or cement.

Some of the fauna which we managed to catch sight of.

The lizard above was pretty well camouflaged on the ground but one of us manage to spot it. Its shiny scales were deceiving; I thought it was a very short snake. But really, it was beautiful and utterly motionless while we were snapping pictures 3 feet away.

Finally we reached Henderson Waves. It looks like the deck of a ship with its wooden floor and sail-like wave design. There was a cool breeze blowing which enhanced the effect of being on a ship.

From Mt Faber to Henderson Wave, it took us about 2 hours as we stopped quite often to take pictures. I was pleasantly surprised by the very existence of this trail. Indeed, one of the hidden gems in Singapore.

Sweat the small stuff

2009-02-03T22:51:00.002+08:00

Relationships are hard work. Two people, with all their imperfections trying to create something fulfilling, meaningful and mutually beneficial.

No relationship is without its arguments and disagreements. It is how it is solved that matters.

Experts always warn about issues like money, children, chores and other differences in expectations of major issues as main conflict points. But sometimes and possibly quite often too, it is the small things. Little things that no one expect to be an issue become one.

There must exist the commitment to overcome them. That the relationship is more important than issues. Give and take has to occur. Patience, buckets of them, are needed.

Ultimately, communication is key. Problems cannot be solved by keeping quiet. Issues will not go away just because it is not spoken.

For me, I am glad that my relationship has been going well despite some hiccups. There are things which I do not like and do not understand, but I do or not do them because Nyk is happier that way. And he does the same.

Because of that, our relationship continues to grow and strengthen.

How now, brown cow

2009-02-01T20:32:00.004+08:00

I am back in Singapore and tomorrow it's back to work for me, while Nyk has still another day off (it's a replacement public holiday for tomorrow in KL).

My parents was quite worried about my job, what with reports of companies cutting jobs everyday. No wonder they are spooked! Still, I think I am pretty safe. No signs of bad new yet. No new is good news, I suppose.

Still, I understand that there are still vacancies available in my line of work. So it's not as bleak as other industries.

CNY this year has been pretty quiet. I didn't go out much for pai nien as most of my friends have gone back to work on Wednesday itself. It was only Nyk and SK who came for visit on the second day. That's about it.

I also got to savour my favourite pineapple tarts. The traditional ones, not those where the jam is wrapped or covered.

This trip back to KL was quite fruitful, as I got to spend quite a bit of time with Nyk. We went to this restaurant called The Cave, where the interior was designed to look like well ... a cave. It was a pretty interesting concept and it was definitely reflected in the food prices.

We ordered the set lunches. The food was decent, but nothing great.

On Saturday, there was a gathering of my high school friends in the afternoon but unfortunately I was already on the bus ride back to Singapore.

A new start to the working year. Here's wishing everyone a good start to the Year of the Brown Cow, which actually starts this Wednesday.

Happy Moo Year

2009-01-27T23:05:00.002+08:00

I am back in KL for Chinese New Year. Although it's for a week and seems long, it doesn't feel as such. It is already Tuesday and I will be going back to Singapore on Saturday.

This Chinese New Year is more quiet, as I don't have much time to visit friends. Second day is always to visit my maternal grandmother.

And this year on the fourth day, my whole family is going to Genting for a Shaolin kungfu performance. So the whole day gone.

First day of CNY is a non-visiting day and thus I was at home watching television and reading a book.

That only leaves Wednesday and Friday free for myself. But Wednesday is my anniversary with Nyk and of course it is just the two of us.

Fortunately I got to meet a friend of mine yesterday for yum cha. He brought two of his friends along, whom I met before last Chinese New Year. I invited Nyk too and everyone had a blast chatting over drinks.

Although it is a little late, I wish my readers a very happy and prosperous Year of the Cow (as there is more yin than yang, according to a feng shui master). May the year ahead bring lots of happiness, wealth, health, opportunities and love to you.

Gong xi gong xi!

When it's time, it's time

2009-01-19T23:17:00.002+08:00

I just learned a new phrase this weekend. Serial monogamy. It was mentioned by Nick and coincidentally it was also mentioned on Trevvy in their recent editorial feature.

Basically, serial monogamy is going from a relationship to another, whenever the current one becomes unfulfilling or unsalvageable. To me, it seems an intermediate stage between a one night stand and a relationship. It is longer than a fling but shorter than a long term relationship.

One goes into a relationship not expecting to be long term and hence when it really does end, it would be relatively easier. One enjoys the stability of a relationship which comes in the form of emotional support and physical needs. There are dates and movies and gathering with each other’s friends. It does seem like a perfectly healthy relationship.

There is a sense of familiarity but at the back of the mind, you realize that it would end one day.

I suppose this is really taking the 7 habits literally, begin with the end in mind.

To quote from Trevvy, where the author in turn quoted from Before Sunrise:
the ideal relationship was two intense years, with clean breaks, fresh starts, friends for life, something like that. It's like if you knew your relationship had to end in two years, there would be no room for fighting or wasted time. There could be more love and appreciation for one another. ... If everyone you met you knew was going to die at midnight, you would be a much more compassionate person.

Perhaps it is that relationships work best if we don't drag them on unnecessarily; if we step into them with the primary objective of getting the most out of it, emotionally, spiritually, in whichever ways, even if that means letting the relationship be short-lived. Too often we're more preoccupied with how far and long the relationship will go instead of making every second of it worthwhile and letting things run their natural course.

Indeed, if the relationship couldn’t be salvaged then really it is time to move on. No point wasting each other's time. But I do believe that breaking up should be the last option, not the first. All effort to save the relationship should be tried before finally waving the white flag.

The main thing is that you have given whatever you can into the relationship to make it work. This is totally different from dating someone and dumping him when someone better comes along.

Ultimately, I think what the author is trying to say that relationships have its own expiry date too, be it a break-up or death. Nothing is permanent; treasure every moment together and a break up could be the best, no matter how difficult, thing to do.

Shopping and ginseng

2009-01-11T22:59:00.003+08:00

Yesterday I was out with my ex-colleague. We were doing some catching up and at the same time, she wanted to get a shirt for her boyfriend. Apparently, he only has whites, blacks and greys. Not surprisngly, she wanted something to brighten up his wardrobe.

She saw this white red shirt with white stripes at Banana Republic, which is very outstanding and eye-catching. Unfortunately, they only have size 17 left, which is an XL size. I usually wear M but for their label, a 14 suits me just fine.

So she has to choose something else for her boyfriend. We continued looking but in the end, her purse was not unopened. Instead it was me who was carrying shopping bags. I bought a striped pink and purple polo T for Chinese New Year and a T-shirt from Celio for Nyk.

For today, I had to wake up early to go for tui na, which is a form of Chinese massage which works on acupressure points. PL's mom has been doing this for a long time and we decided to engage her services. The appointment was fixed at 11pm for both MJ and me.

I usually have a stiff shoulder and back due to hours sitting at the desk facing the PC. So tui na is supposed to loosen the muscles and get the blood flowing and the nerves firing again.

It was a 1 hour session and I was told it was going to be painful. Yes, it was painful at certain points, like when she pressed my butt cheeks (apparently there is this point in the center of the butt cheek which is really painful when pressed but it clears up some nerves somewhere) and behind my knee (the soft part right behind; apparently its due to walking or standing too much).

It was painful but bearable. I did let out a soft moan or two but I did feel good after that. I could feel the muscles relaxed and loosened. Still, the prognosis for me was so good; there are some blockages somewhere in my body.

She noted that my hands and legs are colder than it should be which means that blood circulation is not as it should be. These extremities are colder to the touch than the rest of my body.

The solution is return for a few more sessions of tui na and to eat "healing" food, like chicken essence and ginseng. And of course to return for a few more sessions.

Looks like I have to upgrade my life to a tai-tai from now on as I have to feast on this sort of delicacies and go for massages. Who wants to buy me ginseng and massage vouchers? ;-)

Happily gay

2009-01-07T22:49:00.001+08:00

My colleagues whom I am out to, occasionally says that I am in too deep; that I cannot be saved. In the first place, I am not in danger. Secondly, save me from what, I don't know.

Of course, I know they mean well. They meant that I am too gay to turn straight. In too deep to pull out.

But what is so great about being straight anyway? When I was still a wee teen, yeah I would. To fit in and not to be different. But now that I am perfectly comfortable with who I am, I don't really see the point.

I am certain that many will choose to be straight, if given a choice and a 100% conversion rate. I am aware that there are people whose lives would be so much better and improvement in all areas of life if they were straight and be like everyone else.

For me, even if I could, I wouldn't. Not that I chose to be gay in the first place, but since I am, I am fine with that thank you very much.

The reason is because I like being who I am. I am different (I know we are all different, but you know what I mean) and all these years I have looked at the world in a different light. I notice things that straight people usually would not. I have become who I am from years of experiencing things in a way distinct from other people.

Men claim they don't understand woman and woman claim they don't get men. I suppose it makes their lives more interesting spending a lot of time trying to figure out their partners. It is already difficult enough to understand someone as an individual, so taking away the sexual differences helps.

Besides, I don't look at a woman and think of her, "She is female and hence she is expected / probably / supposed to / going to act like this." There is gender roles defined and predetermined. We are just two guys who love each other, Nyk and I. Our roles are fluid and interchangeable.

Perhaps for some people, predefined roles and expectations are comforting. They know what to do and what is expected of them. They don't need to reinvent the wheel. They don't have to start from a blank piece of paper. The map is drawn and one just need to follow the directions.

One other pertinent issue. Sex is important to guys. I would think that it is the same for women too.

If public surveys and opinion were to be believed, three quarters of women have faked an orgasm. Obviously I can't speak for the straight males, but I always believe in reciprocity and mutual gratification.

I definitely would want my partner to feel great and achieve orgasm. And I do know for sure when he does. There's no faking it. For me, this certainty of the male reaction comforts me.

My colleague revealed that she had wanted to pair me with her best friend. This was before she knew about my sexual orientation. She jokingly said why must I turn out to be gay.

But most probably I may not be who I am if I were straight. I may not be sweet and cute, to quote someone (I am flattered). I might turn out to be some male chauvinist, wife beater and foul-mouth straight guy.

As they say, all the good guys are either taken or gay.

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging

2009-01-04T23:02:00.004+08:00

I watched this movie called Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging, by the same director of Bend It Like Beckham. I quite like the latter, so I thought I would like her latest movie too.

And I was right.

As you could probably guess from the movie title, it is a movie about all those things, from the perspective of a 14 year-old named Georgia. Or as her friends call her, G.

It is quite a hilarious movie on how tweens deal with things like crushes, boyfriends, kisses, uncool parents and organising the coolest birthday party.

Someone commented that it is like a very much younger version of Bridget Jones.

But the movie was made the more enjoyable by this cutie called Aaron Johnson, who played G's crush Robbie. He has such dreamy eyes and lopsided smile. In the movie, he's a member of a band.

Unfortunately, he is not that famous and this is the best picture I could find online. But trust me, he looked waaaay cuter in the movie.

He even has a shirtless scene.

Many would probably disagree, but I think Johnson is hotter than that guy in the Disney musical ... errr ... what's his name ... oh, you know who .....

Overall it is an excellent movie and I would recommend it if you like Bridget Jones. Even if you did not, its British humour and sarcasm made it enjoyable one for me.

A rating of 3.5 stars and an additional half star just because of Aaron Johnson ;-)

Two oh oh nine

2009-01-01T22:06:00.003+08:00

Another year, another beginning of all things good. A new hope; a new dawn.

I suppose new years force us to think back and reflect. Going through the paces of life, sometimes we forget who and what we are and where we are going. A changing of a digit makes us pause and take a breather.

As I don't really like crowds, I spent New Year's Eve at home, cuddled with a book. I really want to catch up on my reading; there are too many books which are yet to be flipped open on my shelves.

My New Year's was pretty uneventful. I would say downright boring and inappropriate start to 2009. I was behind my desk in the office for a good 5 hours. It was indeed unfortunate, but it was necessary.

After that, I went to indulge in my favourite past time. I caught Seven Pounds, starring Will Smith. The phrase was taken from the Bible, if I am not wrong; seven pounds of flesh. The story was indeed interesting, but it takes just a little too long to get to the main point.

Still, the cast all did a great job in their roles. Clocking at 2 hours, it didn't feel that long as the actors and actresses carried their roles very well. I was kept guessing till the final 30 minutes of the movie.

To all my readers, wishing you a very Happy New Year 2009. May the year bring you
Health
Wealth
Happiness
Success
Fortune
Wisdom
Experience
Love
Friendship

and hope you enjoy life in all its multitude of colours.

A Christmas dinner to remember

2008-12-29T22:59:00.003+08:00

On Christmas day itself, I finally get to meet Nyk and SK at 3.00 pm. I was a little upset that I didn't get to spend more time with him, as he arrived in Singapore on the day before. The irony, so near yet so far. I know he has to spend time with his family and all and I shouldn't be so selfish but still ....

Anyway, it was better than nothing. One should be grateful for life's little blessings, no?

We just walked around a bit in Marina Square. I showed him the jacket that I wanted from Zara, which was on sale. Sat down for coffee and then it was time to meet with Will and his boyfriend Stan for dinner.

Will brought us to this place near Outram Park MRT called 8 Cafe. It was a nice and cozy little restaurant. There was a Christmas set and all of us ordered different main courses.

The food was great and we also had a bottle of wine. The food was a fusion of Chinese and Western. I would definitely go there again.

Of course, the company for the evening was the highlight. Will was his usual charming and funny self, regaling us with stories of his hot students. Besides, it was wonderful to know more about him. Stan was a little quiet, but I suppose he is just shy.

This was the first time Will met Nyk and I together. Previously, he had only met us on separate occasions.

Thanks again for an excellent dinner, Will!

With that, I bade Nyk farewell as he has to return to KL the next day. It was short, but it was sweet.

Christmas eve miracles

2008-12-27T23:13:00.003+08:00

What little festive cheer I had this year happened on Christmas Eve and Christmas.

For Christmas Eve, I was given a half day off. Initially wanted to do some last minute shopping, but it occurred to me that everbody would have thought the same thing. No, no, no, I don't want to be shoving around with everyone else.

So what I planned to do something different, something no one else would be doing, something ..... boring but needs to be done.

I had a dental appointment at 3 p.m. and facial at 4 p.m. Both of them have been delayed long enough, with the usual reason of No Time.

On Christmas Eve morning itself, I was thinking hmmm what should I do between 1 and 3 p.m.? Aha, I shall go to the bank .... the blood bank to be precise.

It was a pretty last minute decision and I was worried that I might not be able to make it for either the dental or the facial appointment. Usually, blood donation takes almost 1 and a half hours.

But with the spirit of Christmas in the air, I was in and out of the bank in an hour! No, there wasn't less donors or they took less blood; there were more nurses that day. They probably should have done this more often.

Hence, I finished my good act for the day at 2.30 p.m., went to the dentist and came out at a quarter past three. I even have time to squeeze in a late lunch and then stroll to my beautician at 4.

Usually, my facial takes almost 2 hours. But it's Christmas eve after all, so another miracle happened. I had my black pores extracted and mask taken out in 90 minutes! I do hope the quality has not gone down. Thankfully, my face is not for the worse.

I was headed for my dinner appointment with the gang. It was at Charcoal, a restaurant run by trainees hospitality students. When I made the reservations, I was told that there would be ala carte and a Christmas set menu on the day. I was also informed that the set cost $23.

On the 23rd, I was told that there was no ala carte menu for Christmas Eve.

On Christmas Eve, I found out that the Christmas set cost $52.

Hey, enough with the miracles already!

Anyway, we ain't gonna pay so much for dinner. It's Christmas eve, not Valentine's day for Christ sake. We just wanted to have a nice dinner without paying an arm and a leg.

Hence, we decided to change our dinner venue to this place called Aerin's at Raffles City. The food was pretty decent and the portion was sufficient. The latter depends on what one orders though.

After the meal, I watched Bedtime Stories starring Adam Sandler. Pretty formulaic feel good end-of-the-year kind of movie. There were some laughs here and there. Pretty good for a couple of hours of escapism. I would rate it a 2.5 out of 5.

And so that was how my Christmas eve went.

December musings II

2008-12-20T00:25:00.002+08:00

Usually year-ends are time to slow down, unwind and take stock of the previous 12 months. A time to take leave from work and enjoy the festive season.

Unfortunately, this is not the case for me.

Year-end is like a busy period for me. Heck, it is busy from December till March. So instead of winding down, I am gearing up.

Besides the more than usual workload, I have been loading up in kilograms too. Aargh!

No time to take in the festive mood of Orchard. Or to take advantage of the Christmas sales.

Since Nyk is coming down next week for a very short trip, it will definitely help brighten things up for me. Yay to that.

December musings

2008-12-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

As the year draws to a close, I am beginning to wonder where all the time has gone to.

It is with a pang of regret to say that it feels like work has taken up most of my time. The late nights, working on weekends; they seemed to be one continuous reel of film that keeps on playing and playing.

Notable events were the Bangkok trip with Nyk and the other bloggers in July and the recent trip to Kuching. I suppose what people say is true, the farthest thing you would remember is the time you spent in the office.

My life is passing me by ....

One of my ex-colleagues said that, going on holidays is like bookmarking a year. As time passes by, the years would all be the same; they are differentiated only by the vacations you took in that particular year.

If I try to recall harder, this year was the year I learnt how to ride a bicycle. Yay me!

It has been two and a half years now that I am Singapore. It felt longer than that. I wonder if that means something ....

Anyway, Nyk will be in town during Christmas, which is something I really look forward to. It will be great to spend time with him to mark the end of 2008.

Happiness and unhappiness Pt III

2008-11-30T22:51:00.000+08:00

Let's say that you are going to sit for a major exam in 3 months. Obviously, you need to study hard for it. There are times when you would feel stressed or frustrated at a particular chapter. Some activities have to be given up or reduced, like watching TV, playing football, online games, etc.

It is all about balance; you can't lock yourself up in the room mugging everyday. There are other things which you would indulge in to keep yourself from going crazy. Life is not totally unbearable or miserable.

Another scenario. Let's imagine you have cancer but it is in its early stages. The doctor said that you would have to go through chemotherapy. As such, you have to go the hospital every 2 weeks for the session. Besides the inconvenience of travelling to the hospital, vomitting, wearing a cap to cover the thinning hair and feeling lethargic, you still go about, as much as you could, with other things like shopping, watching movies, hanging out with friends, chatting online, walking the dog and bullying your younger brother.

Now, it's after the exam. You feel very relieved, as if a big boulder has been lifted from you. You feel elater and can't wait to do all those things you missed doing. Still, the feeling will probably last a couple of days to maximum a week.

For the second scenario, fortunately the chemotherapy worked and you recovered after a year of chemotherapy. In a couple of months, you have regained your strength and back to doing everything you had been doing before that. It was as if you never had cancer at all.

Let's do an experiment. Assuming you are a reasonably happy person, not those who always whine and why-does-it-happen-to-me-God kind of person, your normal happiness should be more than 5, say 6 range on a scale of 0 to 10. The perpetually unhappy people would below 5.

If you, the exam-taker, were asked how happy or unhappy during his pre-exam preparation, you would probably say you were stressed, but not too bad. You still have online games and MSN when you need a break from revision. You would probably say 5.

If you were the cancer patient, you would probably complain about the tedious and painful process of chemotherapy, but those do not take up a significant part of your life. Probably another score of 5.

Now if you were asked how happy you were 1 day after your exam or after you are cancer-free, you would probably answer 8 or 9 or even 10. This makes sense, as you would be very happy with the end of the exams or conclusion of chemotherapy.

A few days later, your happiness would have fallen to your normal happiness level of 6. But if you were asked to rate your pre-exam period, you would think of the stress, no television watching, the late nights and all the negative things. You won't recall how you were reasonably at the time, but instead would now rate that period as a 4 or less.

Similarly for the chemotherapy period, you would quickly think about the pain and nausea, the trouble of going to the hospital and feeling weak and mostly all the bad stuff. You would probably rate that period as miserable as give it a 3 or 4.

The point is, you could not imagine how you could be as happy now as you were previously, when the circumstances were bad. Surely, you would think that you were so miserable then and things are much better now. Hence, my happiness should be lower than it is now.

An experiment was indeed done to demonstrate the above. Our memories are not accurate. We could never recall precisely what our feelings were. We could only remember certain things and that would override the rest of it.

Therefore, it is entirely possible for one to think that he is happier now than he was previously. Of course, it is also possible that you are actually happier than before. No one knows that for sure, not even yourself.

I believe many would not find this interesting. I know this and yet I have not find any application of its use. I used to think that I was not as happy as I am now, but now I am not too sure.

No matter, it is better to live in the present and be happy as you could be.

Happiness and unhappiness Pt II

2008-11-23T21:36:00.000+08:00

I thought of something related to what I had written in the previous post.

In yesterday's the Star newspaper, one of the articles mentioned a sighted woman who married a blind man. She read a magazine ad which said ‘blind man looking for love or companionship’.
Angela was looking for a platonic relationship, rather than a romantic one.

However, after speaking to him every day for the next few months, she realised her feelings went much deeper.

“We made plans to get married then, despite fierce opposition from all sides — family, my friends, even his family. Everyone was scared and worried sick about how we would turn out,” Angela reminisces.

But she went ahead anyway, just to prove them wrong: “After a while, my mum saw that my husband is a dignified man who manages himself and his home well. He can do so much compared to many other normal-sighted men.”

Sagayanathan, who works as a telephone operator, also happens to be the sole breadwinner of the house since Angela left her job. The lovestruck couple plan to have children as soon as they get their finances in order.

Tears well up in Angela’s eyes as she says, “Who says that I’m my husband’s caretaker? It’s the other way around. He is the love of my life. Without him, I cannot live.”

So you see, being disabled in whatever way is not a the end of the world or means a life of hardship. The disabled themselves don't view life that way. It is only us, the "normal" people who think like that.

This relates to a question which a colleague was asked: If you knew that your child will be handicapped, would you still bring it into the world?

I don't see why not. In not having the child, are we actually doing a favour to the child or ourselves? Are we making life easier for the child by ending it before it starts? Or are we making our lives easier?

Who are we decide for the child that a life of darkness or without limbs or with the HIV virus is actually a terrible thing and that they would never savour happiness?

Even if the child were to die at a young age from the disease or disability, I think it is better that he has been loved and known what is love in this world.

To know what it means to have parents who love them (assuming they are nice parents of course and not treat/abuse him badly!), to experience the sensation of the warm sunlight or cooling breeze, to play with other kids, to experience joy and sadness, elation and pain and basically live as normal a life as can be.

There will definitely be some bumps in the road for the kid, but whose life doesn't?

And that concludes my thought for the day.

Happiness and unhappiness

2008-11-22T10:49:00.001+08:00

I was reading this book which says that happiness is genetically predisposed. Not predetermined or hardwired, but has a tendency to be. This is quite clearly demonstrated by people who seem to be perpetually happy no matter what happens around them, good or bad.

On the other hand, there are people who seem to be always miserable and can look at the downside of everything, even when positive things happen.

It is due to the fact that they look at things differently. Apparently, unhappy people tend to take things personally, that somehow the bad things that happen are connected to them.

Just some food for thought. I don't know where this post is going anyway.

Another point is that external factors influence on our moods are seldom over-estimated. We always think that winning the lottery, dating that hot guy, getting a high paying job, owning that sleek car and having to-die-for body would make us much happier.

True, it will. But only for the short term. Then we would revert to the original level of our happiness (or unhappiness). And we would mistakenly think that the next better car / job / guy would make us happier and the cycle repeats itself.

Basically the point is, people generally stay at their normal level of happiness or unhappiness in the long term. Something like mean reversion (too technical, anyone?). There may be occasional spikes and dips, but sooner or later, we would go back to the previous level.

I still don't know where I am going with this.

Try to imagine how you would feel if you woke up one day without your eyes blind. Or you were to have kidney failure and need to undergo dialysis for the rest of your lives. We would think that we would be pretty miserable, won't we? Some of us might even think that it is better to die than to suffer for the rest of our lives.

However, if we talked to dialysis patients we would find that they are actually quite happy. In fact, as happy as normal people are. How can that be? It is because firstly, we only focus on one aspect of the disability, forgetting to look at the big picture. We only look at the bad and forget about the good.

You see, we would still have our friends and family. We may be inconvenienced for a few hours a week to go to the hospital, but generally the other aspects of our live wouldn't change too drastically.

Secondly is the reverting to the normal mood thing which I talked about earlier. After a while, you would somehow adapt or cope and the disability would become just another part of your life. Of course, some people never recover from their depressive moods but for most of us, we do.

The point I am driving at is that it is not the end of the world when misfortune strikes. The human spirit is far more resilient that we give it credit for.

The end.

Kuching Day 4

2008-11-20T12:03:00.000+08:00

The second last day was mostly spent in the city. We planned to do souvenir shopping. We were at the Waterfront, walked a long the river and took some pictures.

We hunted for souvenirs at the row of shops parallel to the Waterfront. I know that it is a tourist area, but the prices were not too expensive. There are many things that has a local flavour, like wood carvings of cats, monkeys, tribal masks, paintings, etc. Spent the whole morning shopping for souvenirs and spent about RM50.

Next destination was the Sarawak Museum. It is actually a few museums collectively, namely Islamic Museum, Ethnology Museum, Art Museum and (Stuffed) Animal Museum. I managed to take some pictures from Ethnology Museum.

Taken at the Ethnology Museum

A painting from the Art Museum

A model made from recyclables

It was time for lunch. We headed to this circular-shaped hawker center and ordered laksa, siu mai, some vegetables and meat soup noodles. Finally I saw one stall which sells White Lady a.k.a. Snow White in Chinese. It's basically ice kacang, but with condensed milk, sago, pineapple and lychee with a twist of lemon. Very smooth and refreshing, but the rest said it was just OK / bland.

There is a famous fish ball noodles stall within walking distance, so we decided to try it. I know this was becoming more of a food vacation than a sightseeing / R & R vacation. But really, the fish balls were excellent; very authentic fish taste and good texture. We also ordered a plate of pork satay. It was also delicious.

After all the eating, we went to the Civic Center. It is one of the taller buildings in Kuching, with a very interesting design. It looks like a spaceship to me.

From the highest floor of the Civic Center, we could see the whole city of Kuching.

View from the Civic Center

One last stop to buy some snacks before dinner. No, not for ourselves but to bring back home. Bought some pepper for an ex-colleague, some biscuits and titbits.

Dinner was good. We had steamed red talapia fish which was very fresh. Had pork knuckles and another dish of miding vegetables.

Another day well spent. The next day was our flight home.

Kuching Day 3

2008-11-18T10:53:00.000+08:00

We headed for the cultural village early in the morning. We got lost a little on the way there (there is absolutely no signage to the place!) and arrived at 10 a.m.

The place is quite huge. Entrance fee was RM60 and we got a "Passport" each, where we were supposed to get a stamp at every traditional house. There were also some notes on the different tribes, their cultures and history.

I will let the pictures do the talking.

Making "kuih bahulu". We bought them and they were good!

Inside the Malay house.

Things used in the olden days, from the Chinese House

The Melanau Tall House

The verandah of the Melanau Tall House

Tools to make blowpipes

Iban Longhouse

Inside the Iban Longhouse

There are two cultural performances daily, at 1130 and 1645. It was very interesting to watch the traditional dances, with the dancers wearing their tribal costumes. The dances were lively and the music was quite pleasing.

Two thing that irked me during the cultural performance. The MC's accent was ~~terrible~~ unidentifiable, hence what he said was impossible to understand. The other thing that I didn't like was this one dancer whom I felt was cocky. He wanted the audience to keep on applauding and applauding his spinning-on-a-wooden-pole stunt *rolls eyes*

We managed to finish the whole tour of the Cultural Village by 2 p.m. As we still had time, we visited the famous Cat Museum. There is everything and anything that are related to cats on displayed, from dolls, pictures, stories, teapots, sculptures to Doraemon, Hello Kitty and Cats the Musical. I don't remember seeing anything about the Pussy Cat Dolls though.

Quite an interesting museum actually. Some of the exhibits are really beautiful and unique. But Nyk commented that it seemed like a cat fanatic's exhibition of his vast collection of memorabilia from the interesting to the weird.

When we were about to leave, it started to rain again. We had dinner with Lloyd's mum at this restaurant called Fook Xing. The dishes there were cheap and good. One of the unique dishes which we ordered was the duck wrapped with yam. Definitely unusual but it was great.

The mom mentioned a famous "kway chap" (mixed pork innards with kway teow) and Nick's eyes lit up. So we headed to the market where the stall is right after dinner. Nyk and I shared a bowl. It was good, but nothing spectacular. Nick loved it a lot though.

Feeling satiated and sleepy, we headed back to the hotel.

Kuching Day 2

2008-11-15T13:48:00.002+08:00

The next day was fine weather, just perfect for our trip to Bako National Park. According to the websites I have read, it is a must-go.

And I agree.

We had to take a boat ride out to the island. The river bank was lined with mangroves and we even spotted a crocodile sunning itself.

There were a few tracks to choose from and we decided on Telok Pandan trail, which is not too long. It is expected to take us about 90 minutes to complete the trail. There are two trails actually, one Teluk Pandan Kecil and Teluk Pandan Besar.

Both track overlaps except for the last part of their respective trails. Our main one is actually Kecil; Besar is just a 10-minute detour from the Kecil track.

Some of the sights which I saw:

At the end of the Pandan Besar trail, the view was beautiful. We were standing on top of a cliff and this was what I saw.

We turned back to the Pandan Kecil trail. It took us another 20 minutes before we reached this wonderfully tranquil and white-sandy beach. We also saw a dead jellyfish washed on shore (picture 2 below).

A boat came to pick us up from the Pandan Kecil beach. On the ride back, it started to rain and once again, we were drenched. That's twice in 2 days.

We went for lunch at a restaurant in a Malay kampung and ordered miding (local vegetable), chicken (fragrant and yummy), steamed white pomfret and hor jian. The hor jian is a little different from the ones that I have eaten. It's dry and there is crunchy prawn crackers around it.

I quite love it. Nyk didn't; he prefers them to be wetter. There is no starch but lots of eggs.

After that, we visited a temple nearby. And then it was time to head back to the hotel.

Kuching Day 1

2008-11-14T08:55:00.006+08:00

Nyk and I arrived in Kuching on 8th November (Saturday) at about 1500 hours. The flight was pretty uneventful and there wasn't many passengers on board.

Kuching International Airport

Lloyd and Nick were at the Kuching International Airport to pick us up. First thing we did was to check in at this hotel called Hung Hung, which is right next to the General Hospital. Hmmm, so in case anything bad happened, we would be extremely safe.

Why did we choose this hotel? It was the most affordable one that I could find online, at RM70 per night.

Next up was to visit the Sunday Market. This market actually opens from Saturday afternoon till Sunday afternoon. There were some things which one doesn't usually see in a open air pasar, like cats, dogs, DIY hardware stuff like screws and hammers, plants, etc.

We were there for less than half an hour when clouds opened up and there was a heavy downpour. We were all wet under our tiny 1-person umbrellas. We spent another 20 minutes to get back to the car and we got more drenched.

Dinner was at this place called Hong Kong Noodles. We ordered roasted duck, some local vegetable (I forgot the name) and toufu. The food were all great and I enjoyed it.

Kuching shops closes at about 2100, so there wasn't much to do after dinner. I didn't know that the people here have such wonderful work-life balance. But actually the sunrise and sunset here are an hour earlier than West Malaysia. That probably explains why.

And so we retired for the day.

Kuching

2008-11-08T16:23:00.003+08:00

I am blogging now from Kuching, in Sarawak. It has a very nice old world charm to it, with not many high rises. Most of the people here live in semi-detached and terrace houses in stark contrast to the HDBs and condominiums in Singapore.

I would be back in KL on Wednesday, so there will be no updates till then. Enjoy the weekend guys and gals!

The U.S. elections and Prop 8

2008-11-05T23:04:00.001+08:00

This is indeed a year of surprises. First, it was the March 8 political tsunami in Malaysia and now, a black man would be the President of the most powerful nation in the world.

To look at it another way, it could be because the people are just sick and tired of the current administration. In Malaysia, there are corruption, racism, NEP, etc. For the U.S., there are issues of the economy and Iraq war. So it could be that it was more of a push factor than a pull factor.

I think there's where the similarities end. In terms of thinking and achievement, the two countries are vastly different. A non-Malay could never achieve what Obama did.

African-Americans in the whole country celebrated. The victory could be read as achievement for civil rights. A very quotable quote which I read was this, "Rosa sat so that Martin could walk. And Martin walked so that Obama could run. And Obama ran so that our children could fly". Wonderful and inspirational words indeed.

Obama message of change brought hope and optimism to the people. His victory is well-deserved. Congratulations to him.

Now that the election is over, another issue which also hogged the limelight was Proposition 8 in California. Proposition 8 seeks to outlaw gay marriage in California . Proponents and opponents of the it raised more than $70 million from all over the country, which is more than the federal funding that McCain received for his election campaign from federal funds.

This shows how monumental and significant Proposition 8 is. It is an issue close to the hearts of Americans which they feel strongly for, besides guns and abortion. It is either you're for or against the respective issues. Generally, the liberals and Democrats are for gay marriage, against guns and for abortion. The other side would be the conservatives, evangelists and rural folks.

The results are being closely watched all around the U.S., as California is the largest state and the outcome would have influence over future legislation on gay marriage in other states.

Of course, I really hope that Proposition 8 fails. But the results are not out yet and initial polls show that the proponents are leading. The chances are slim that it would fall through. If it doesn't, it is a huge step backwards for gay rights in America.

The fight for equality was and is never going to be easy. March on, brothers and sisters!

Avenue Q

2008-11-02T21:46:00.003+08:00

Finally watched Avenue Q the musical today. I have heard about this musical for about two years. When I found out in July that it was going to be performed in Singapore, I was quite enthusiastic to go watch it. Unfortunately none of my friends were keen (Huh? What's that?).

Somehow, Nick suggested last month that we go watch it. I was like, yeah, finally!

I had downloaded the all the songs for more than a year and only listened to it last week. Yeah, nothing like a live performance to get the gears going.

I am not sure whether because I have heard the songs or I was just tired, but I found the musical ok. It was fun and the songs were great, but I didn't enjoy it as much as my friends. They have no idea what to expect (refer to paragraph one) and seemed to enjoy it more.

In the first half hour, the ever famous song Internet is for Porn was sung. Judging from the reactions from the audience, it was as if they were listening to it for the first time. Or maybe the actions by Trekkie Monster were hilarious.

I was like OK, uh-huh. Maybe my sense of humour was not with me this afternoon.

There were some spot-on lines especially in the current economic conditions:
Trekkie Monster: Here! Me give you $10,000,000!
Princeton: Trekkie! where did you get all that money??
Trekkie Monster: In volatile market, only stable investment is porn!

Another one, which is still relevant but not for long:
Only for now! (Sex!)
Is only for now! (Your hair!)
Is only for now! (George Bush!)
Is only for now!

Still, I did enjoy it. It deals with things like racism, bigotry, finding love, finding Jesus (briefly) and finding a purpose in life, all packaged in a nice and thoroughly enjoyable musical.

The songs were catchy, the mostly Filipino cast were excellent, the actor for Princeton was yummy. There was even a happy ending!

What is there not to like?

After the show, the only song that was stuck in everyone's head was The Internet is For Porn. No surprises there.

My favourite was There's a Fine, Fine Line.
There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of time.

There's a fine, fine line between a fairy tale and a lie;
And there's a fine, fine line between "You're wonderful" and "Goodbye."
I guess if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime,
But there's a fine, fine line between love
And a waste of your time.

Two movies and clubbing

2008-10-13T22:39:00.000+08:00

QR was in town for a week and he was staying at a hotel near City Hall. That would explain why I was commuting to City Hall for 3 out of the 5 weekdays after work hours. As usual, he was a hoot to be around with. Since he was posted to an oil town in East Malaysia, he has missed all the entertainment of civilisation and the bright lights of cities, so the main itinerary for him were shopping, movies and clubbing.

So yesterday, we went to watch a movie. Two movies actually. First was Burn After Reading, for its high reviews. It was quite good, but I don't think that it is my cup of tea. I had a WTF? at the end of the film, like was that all? Apparently it's a parody and a commentary of the times we live in, but on the whole it was a a little screwball for my liking.

Still, the big name cast of Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Tilda Swinton seemed to be having lots of fun. I did laugh at some parts, especially when the contraption Clooney was building turned out (spoiler!) to be a rocking chair with a dildo (end spoiler). Overall, above average but not my cup of tea.

After that we watched The House Bunny. Now, this was hilarious! Call me low brow or unsophisticated or whatever, but this had me laughing out loud. The plot was typical and nothing to shout about, but the dialogue was riproaringly funny. Anna Faris delivered her lines with such earnest and innocence that it was impossible not to like her. She practically carried the whole movie through.

Next on the list of to-do was clubbing. But before that, time for some chow. We met up with a friend of his, who drove all the way to Changi Village. We had a pleasant and delicious dinner of nasi lemak and stingray. The latter was a bit too spicy though; I couldn't taste much of stingray.

The friend was kind enough to drop us off at Tanjong Pagar. It was my first clubbing for the year. The night apparently was still young at half past 11, as the dance floor was completely empty. So we chatted with James, who introduced us to Andy and Wilson.

An hour later, we were all on the dance floor, boogeying to the beat. As usual, the music was inconsistent, as noted by QR. There were danceable ones punctuated by not so danceble ones. We shared a Bourbon Coke and vodka cranberry to lower the inhibitions.

James had some fun dancing with a cute guy towards the end, but the weird thing was the guy kept his friend dancing beside him. It was like a threesome, but James was only interested in the guy. I was like WTF?

Overall, I had a good time. No one hit on me (unfortunately?).

Happy 28th

2008-10-09T07:32:00.001+08:00

Birthday my dearest. Wishing you to be happy, healthy and handsome always.

With a year older, you are wiser, with more fine lines appearing and all, but I still love you ;-)

I love who you are now and I promise to love you for who you would become (hopefully better!), as we journey on together.

Though I am far away, I hope you could feel my presence and love by your side always.

You should have receive the gift and card today, and I hope you like them.

Again, a very happy birthday to you sweetie! I love you.

Final three months of 2008

2008-10-01T21:24:00.002+08:00

Another 3 more months and it is adieu to 2008. How time really flies.

I just realised that I need to go on leave for 2 weeks straight as part of the company's policy. This is so that anyone could not do any fraud stuff, as it is assumed that it would need someone to be continuously monitoring it and two weeks away from the office would be a hindrance.

Initially, I thought I need not comply as I just joined the company this year. Apparently, the policy applies to me as I joined in the first half of the year. Those who joined in the second half need not.

As I already planned to take a week of in November to go to Kuching, I now have another week of leave. Which I have no idea what to do with all that free time.

Well, an extra week of relaxation is always welcome. I suppose it is would be a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my family and catch up with all my KL friends. And hopefully, more time with my dear Nyk.

After that, I don't have any more off days until 2009. Furthermore, Christmas and New Year's are busy period for me, so I couldn't take leave even if I wanted to.

By the way, any suggestions on what to do or places to visit in Kuching? I have some short-listed some places to go to like Bako National Park, Cultural Village and the Sarawak Museum.

Tien ba ba

2008-09-25T23:46:00.002+08:00

Clay Aiken is gay. Like it's damn big news, as most of us would have known since he became famous on American Idol.

Simon Cowell said it best.
The "American Idol" judge reacted in typically sarcastic form, telling the entertainment news show "Extra": "Wow. That's a shock. It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real. Unbelievable."

Taken from Newsweek:
Aiken's coming out was met with widespread applause—GLAAD was among the first to congratulate him this morning.

But why should Aiken deserve to be praised for coming out at the age of 29? You could say that a person's sexuality is nobody's business. But unlike other gay celebrities who have come out recently, like Neil Patrick Harris or Lance Bass, Aiken denied that he was gay long beyond the point of ridiculousness, and he did it in a way that bordered on homophobic.

When the Advocate asked him if he was gay during an "American Idol" press conference, he simply turned the other way, as if he never heard the question. In 2006, a sexually suggestive video of Aiken leaked from a gay dating Web site, but that same year, he gave a big interview to People where he implied he was straight. He even offered a cover-up for the video: it wasn't him, it was just somebody who looked exactly like him.

But to me, this is the best words ever said, written on EW.com.
I wish we lived in a world where Aiken's announcement wasn't considered brave, but rather mundane. I wish we lived in a world where the only message-board debates about Mr. Aiken involved the quality (or lack thereof) of his music, rather than what pronouns he selects when he's singing a love song.

I don't know whether I should punch him for coming out only now or to applaud him for finally doing it. Though I do admit that he is doing it because of son is kind of admirable.

Other interesting news. Last Sunday, after dinner at Suntec, my friends and I saw a young guy (probably in his late teens) with someone much older, who could have been his father. The older person has a few streaks of white hair.

Nothing interesting about that, except that they were holding hands.

Nothing exceptional about that either. I mean there is nothing wrong with a father and his son holding hands, right?

Except maybe the way they held hands. Hand in hand, with fingers interlocked.

Now, that's something, isn't it?

And what's more, just as I was looking at them, the teenager let go of the other guy's hand.

Coincidence or something more?

I may be reading too much into it and I may be wrong, but who would hold their dad's hand in such a way? The most intimate is probably a clasp.

Daddy? Or sugar daddy?

P/S The title means "sweet daddy" in Mandarin, which sounds better than tang ba ba (sugar daddy). It is a literal translation. I don't know what is the correct term. Please let me know if you do.

Most cherished person

2008-09-18T23:02:00.000+08:00

Last week, my colleague was pouring her complaints out about her husband. How he demands that she cooks, cleans, irons and does all the chores while he does not lift a finger. How his wishes and needs supersedes hers.

I could understand where she is coming from. The MCP (Male Chauvinist Pig) strikes again.

I blurted, yeah straight men and rolled my eyes.

Then she retorted and said, "What? Who knows, you might be an MCP too to your darling."

Now, as modest as I am (ahem!), I know that I am not an MCP. I treat Nyk well. Yes, there are disagreements and hurtful words spoken, but it is and will be never my intention to hurt his feelings. And he knows that too.

In fact, I do my best to make him feel loved, appreciated and taken care of.

Coincidentally, just a few days ago, he was upset because he thought I was pressuring him to spend time with me. This was actually not what I meant. I had wanted him to take a couple of days off, but he is not sure of his work schedule yet.

Of course, I understand his predicament and said well, it's fine. But if possible, do take leave so that we could spend time together.

My sweet dear felt pressured because he thought too much. On one hand he badly wants to spend time with me and on the other, there are other factors involved. He felt as if he was being pulled in different directions.

For that, I apologised to him. I really do understand his situation.

If I am an MCP, let me be the most cherished person instead.

Remember that you are never pressured to do anything, OK?

The rule of law - Section 377A Pt II

2008-09-15T22:46:00.003+08:00

Due to the article published on Monday, the gay debate continued on Tuesday and Wednesday.

A letter from the conservatives:
What’s next? Same sex marriages?
Anton Chan
Mr Ho Kwon Ping is wrong to propose the acceptance of gays into Singapore society because accepting a gay lifestyle would have a tremendous impact on society as a whole in terms of religious beliefs, social well-being and families.

As a Christian, I oppose legalising a gay lifestyle in Singapore because it’s against my beliefs. As a father of three teenagers, I care because I don’t want my children to be affected by such a lifestyle.

Imagine if we allow the acceptance of such a lifestyle in Singapore. What next? Legalise same sex marriages? Legalise adoption of children for gays?

Where are we as a socially-conservative society heading towards?

Soon gays will claim the right for social acceptance in all areas including education, welfare et cetera. What effect will this have on the next generation of children and parents who wish that their children will grow up normally and produce children in the normal course of their being?

The only strong contention in Mr Ho’s proposal is the so-called gay leading edge in the “creative class”. Doesn’t our society have many other people to develop and nurture? Why are we so eager to promote creative class talent in Singapore? So that we can become a more tolerant society to accept whatever lifestyle these bring? Definitely no.

I would like to borrow a similar argument by Attorney-General Walter Woon regarding the Human Organ Transplant Act (Hota). In “None above the law” (Sept 8), he said: “If Dr Lee (Wei Ling) disagrees with Hota, she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the Hota and the Oaths and Declarations Act, they remain the law of Singapore.”

If anyone disagrees with the law for gays as enacted by Parliament, he/she is at perfect liberty to campaign to have it amended … But until Parliament amends or repeals the law of Singapore for gays, it remains the law of Singapore.

What irks me most is when people start of their argument with "As a Christian, I oppose ...". How come they never say "As a thinking Christian" or "As a logical and rational adult"?

Because they don't think and they're not logical. If they do, they would realise how stupid and flawed their arguments are. It is as if being of a certain religion precludes the usage of the cerebrum.

When a person claims to be a Christian, it is implicitly saying that they are just taking the Bible word for word, no questions asked. More than 10 years of education down the drain.

If someone were to follow the Bible to the word, then why doesn't he ask for laws to make an offense for adultery? Why not push for and make it a punishable offense for anyone who works on Sunday?

Why not impose one's beliefs on everyone else? Because apparently, there is no such thing as live and let live in the minds of the narrow-minded religious. It is "I am right and they are wrong" kind of mentality.

Of course, I am only referring to those so called "educated" people who can't think for themselves. There are pastors and Christians who believed that everyone is God's creation and each of us deserves happiness, freedom and love. But unfortunately the latter number less than the former.

In addition, the writer totally went off tangent and did not rebut from the rule of law perspective.

I am not sure why I keep giving blogspace to these kind of letters. Sigh.

The rule of law - Section 377A

2008-09-09T23:57:00.001+08:00

Here I am back in Singapore after a short weekend back in KL. It was quite a memorable one as I get to spend some time with Nyk.

We visited the KLCC Aquaria. I felt it was a bit small as compared to the Singapore one. One could go through the whole place in less than 40 minutes, including time to read the information of the various fishes and reptiles.

On the plus side, the animals look healthier and better taken care of, than those that are in the Singapore's Underwater World.

Anyway, my colleague in Singapore was pretty excited about an article on 377A (the one that criminalises gay sex). That article was written by chairman of Singapore Management University, executive chairman of Banyan Tree Holdings and chairman of MediaCorp.

So, it's not just anyone who wrote it, but someone quite important and credible. I am actually surprised that it got published.

The full article, titled Stop Making a Mockery of Rule of Law: Let's Accept Gays can be found here (thanks to TNT).

Basically, the article says that it is pointless to have something in spirit but not in practise. The Singapore government has publicly said that the law would not be enforced, but still be maintained in the Penal Code.

As the writer says, it's schizophrenic. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder categorised by hallucinations, delusions, disorganized thoughts/speech, disorganized or catatonic behavior, and apathy.

In other words, the rule of law is not being followed. The government is in a bind; they have no idea what to do. The government wants to appease the Christian right but at the same time wants to ensure that the gay community does not feel marginalised or leave the country.

Of course, the writer made a very good and coherent argument for the repeal of 377A. It is very true that "most Singaporeans (except, perhaps, the most fervently fundamentalist Christians or Muslims) don’t care that much about one way or the other; which the police, courts, and legal community would welcome simply to remove an archaic, Victorian-era statute; and finally, which the gay community would embrace as an important signal that their right to privacy — a fundamental human right — is considered to be more important than the right of anti-gay groups to proselytise about morality".

And of course, the fundamentalists would reply, which I would write on the next time.

Exercise

2008-09-07T01:04:00.003+08:00

Here I am back in KL for the weekend. It has been quite a slow week for me at work, thus allowing me to leave work on time. Though busier weeks are expected end of the month, due to third quarter closing.

With me being able to get off work on time, I managed to go to a commercial gym for group exercises. Yes I know, I am in the remaining 10% of the community who do not frequent the gym.

Anyway, I had a go at pilates on Tuesday, gym ball on Wednesday and Bodystep on Thursday. The pilates class was not too bad, though I felt the instructor was a bit too quick and the whole session felt rushed.

The gym ball class was very good. I was with Lloyd and at the end of the class, I was aching all over. The good kind of post-workout pains. We worked on the abs, arms and shoulders. Even though there were no exercises targetting the legs, there were some effects felt too. I suppose it was due to the gym ball used, where the leg muscles were engaged to stabilised my body.

Bodystep was quite fun too, though there were a lot of jumping, hopping and ~~complex choreography~~ stepping involved. I reckon I didn't too bad on my first try.

The pace was fast and I don't think I got the right movements, in terms of how to step. As in the knee-bending, up-stepping and ankle-lifting had to be done correctly or else it would be quite bad for the knees and ankles. And I have less than strong knees and ankles.

I also attended the Bodypump and RPM classes too.

So now I have had a taste of what all the hype is all about. Some of my gym-going friends have mentioned all those group exercises in conversations and I have no idea what they were talking about.

Overall, those classes are quite fun and it does look like an enjoyable way to be healthy and shed some pounds. Definitely beats running on the treadmill at my condo's gym.

All of the classes above were made possible thanks to Nick's and Lloyd's free 1 week pass. Thanks, guys!

Wall-e and some reminiscence

2008-08-30T23:05:00.004+08:00

It has been raining these past few days. The cool weather is perfect to just lie and laze in bed, under the covers. Better still if there was someone to cuddle with.

Anyway, just came back from watching Wall-E. Pixar has done it again with its excellent storytelling and plot. Sure, the graphics are great, it is almost a given. The story is more important as without it, no matter how good the graphics is, the latter could never compensate the former. Case in point is a certain story set in a far, far away galaxy.

How Pixar managed to humanise a story about two robots and to slip in a message on preserving the environment is indeed remarkable. Congratulations again to Andrew Stanton, the same guy who gave us Finding Nemo (I still love this the most and because of the movie, the clown fish has become the most recognisable fish) and Toy Story.

At work, things are ok. Though I find it unsettling when I become the center of attention about my love life. A colleague seemed particularly interested in it, asking probing questions. The frequency of the questions seem to have increased.

Oh well.

There is a colleague who is meeting someone from online for the first time tomorrow. From URL to IRL. I still remember what it felt like when I met someone for the first time, back in 2002. The anticipation, expectation, trepidation. Good luck to her!

Think Nyk would have felt the same when he first met me. There was a little shyness initially, but that quickly faded away.

And now, look at where we are now! LOL

Happy 51st National Day, Malaysia! (though I do think that 16 September would be the more accurate one)

AIDS in Asia

2008-08-24T22:37:00.003+08:00

The article below appeared in a Singapore free newspaper about 3 weeks ago.

1 in 5 Asian Homosexuals Has HIV

UNITED NATIONS — HIV infection rates among gay men in many parts of Asia are as severe as those which devastated homosexual communities in the United States in the late ’80s, said top officials of the United Nations Aids agency UNAIDS.

Launching his agency’s 2008 report on the global Aids epidemic, Mr Peter Piot, executive director of UNAIDS, urged more action to prevent the spread of the disease among gay men who have unsafe sex. He also stressed the importance of working with affected communities.

Mr Piot said: “All over Asia there are now epidemics of HIV in men who have sex with men, at the same magnitude that we saw in this country 25 years ago. That is something that has been detected fairly recently. There is not enough action yet but we are now starting programs,” he added.

Paul De Lay, director of Evidence, Monitoring and Policy at UNAIDS, said the HIV epidemic among gay communities in Asia was not new, but that it had recently reached the levels seen in cities such as San Francisco at the end of the 1980s when HIV infections reached their peak.

He said it could be due to a number of factors, including less funding for programs that target men who have sex with men and the fact that there were new groups who were less aware of the risks of unprotected sex.

“Asia has recognized populations of men who have sex with men for quite some time,” he told AFP. “The epidemic in these populations started in the mid-1990s. What we see now is a resurgence.”

“There are countries where the percentage of people infected are similar to what we were seeing in San Francisco or in Berlin or in London where up to 15 to 20 percent of men who have sex with men are HIV positive,” he added.

The report meanwhile noted that unprotected sex between men was a “potentially significant but under-researched aspect of the HIV epidemics in Asia,” citing countries such as Thailand and Vietnam.

“Recent study data from several major cities in the region, from Bangkok to Ho Chi Minh City, show increasing HIV prevalence among men who have sex with men,” the report said.

In China, unsafe sex between men could account for up to seven per cent of HIV infections, it noted.

De Lay said there were also high infection rates among gay populations in cities such as Chennai and Mumbai in India and in Indonesia’s capital Jakarta.

He added that these communities often faced homophobia from the wider population, as well as discrimination from health care providers, which discouraged them from seeking information and getting tested.

“Even without blatant national laws that criminalize homosexual behavior, you can still have a gradation of policies and practices that can be almost as bad,” he said.

De Lay pointed to a similar resurgence of HIV infections among gay populations in the US and western Europe, which he said showed the need for constant vigilance.

The report said higher risk unprotected sex among gay men in several countries in western Europe, such as Germany, appeared to be linked to the increasing numbers of new HIV diagnoses among that group.

“It’s disturbing because it’s this sense that we can never let our guard down as far as prevention, that the epidemic will come creeping back if there isn’t this constant attention being paid to it,” De Lay said. -AFP

I believe the same report appeared in quite a few other news publications as well.

But there was something that didn't seem quite right. Could you guess what it was?

Read the title again.

It wasn't mentioned anywhere in the article that 1 in 5 or 20% of gay Asian men is gay. It only said that up to 15 to 20% of gay men are HIV-positive.

I am not trying to nitpick here, but there is a difference. And a huge difference at that.

It's like a sale which says up to 20% discount, which could be only 5%, 10% or whatever amount below 20%, as compared to a sale of 20% discount, which means ALL items are 20% cheaper.

If someone were to read the title of the report only without reading further, he or she would have the wrong idea that one-fifth of gay men are HIV-positive.

I am not trying to underestimate readers intelligence, but stereotypes and discrimination abound. The human brain is programmed to categorise and pigeon-hole things neatly into little boxes. As such, reading the misleading title would likely lead readers to think that only gay men contract AIDS or that it is a predominantly a gay disease or straight people are less likely to contract the disease.

All of the above are not desirable or positive outcomes. It probably would have done some damage to the hard work and effort of HIV education programs to change public perception about the virus.

In my opinion, there are two concerns regarding such inappropriate headline:
1) it reinforces the misconception that it is a homosexual disease and only homosexuals get it. This would make other segments of society believe they are not at risk and thus may erroneously think that they do not need to take precautions like practicing safer sex

2) it paints a picture of doom and gloom for homosexuals, that one in five gays are likely to become infected. Being gay doesn't doom a person to a life of suffering and HIV. It is about being true to yourself and loving yourself for it. There is hope, optimism and happiness and those are not in the domain of heterosexuals only.

Actually, I had written in an email to the newspaper stating my concerns and the reasons, but it was not published. I have also sent it to Straits Times and it was also declined.

Just for readers information, the original headline reads "AIDS hitting Asian gays at high rates: UN".

So is it a case of deliberate anti-gay propaganda or just plain sensational reporting?

The swordfish, then the Concubine

2008-08-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

The OCBC Singapore Theatre is currently on and we watched this play called The Swordfish, then the Concubine. Ignoring the weird title, it was written by Malaysian playwright Kee Thuan Chye and directed by Ivan Heng.

The synopsis for the play:
Swordfish attack Singapura, terrorising its citizens. A boy saves the kingdom by lining the beach with banana stems. But the Sultan, at his ministers’ advice, has the boy executed.

A generation later, the Sultan’s successor, his son, breaks the covenant between subject and ruler when he has his concubine publicly executed on trumped-up charges, bringing untold shame to her family. Sure enough, an armada of ships from the Majapahit empire soon appears on the horizon, and threatens Singapura’s supremacy.

Conspiracy and trump-up charges? As you can see, the play is very apt indeed in the current socio-political climate in Malaysia.

There were a lot of Malay cultural influences in the play, something rarely seen in Singapore theatre. There was dikir barat, gamelan and Malay costumes.

The play started off with the trial of the concubine, Nurhalisa. The judge was obviously not going to be impartial. She was charged with one, to conspire to overthrow the king by associating with a sect deemed "deviant" by the government and two, attempted to murder the consort to the Sultan.

About the deviant sect, Mat Zin, it was portrayed as a sect that teaches its followers to love fellow human beings, that all religions are equal as they are all from the same supreme being, to appreciate diversity, etc. Apparently, there was a giant water container on the compound of this religious commune.

Of course, this reminds me of a certain giant tea pot somewhere, which was smashed by the "righteous" government for being "deviant".

Other things that raised questions, how does one prove that there was a conspiracy against you? If I have no spies and I don't have money to bribe people, how do I fight against those who want to bring me down, especially if they were powerful? Especially if their words hold more weight? It's basically their words against mine.

When the play flashback to when Singapura was attacked by swordfish, there was a scene where the National Service was poked fun off. Just because the soldiers attended NS, doesn't mean they could solve every problem like a sea of psycho swordfish.

And then the boy came to suggest that they should plant banana stems to halt the siege. He was immediately killed the next day, to preserve the peace of the state. How does one boy equal to causing harm to the society? Well, politicians like the Bendahara has a way to justify things like this and it went like this - the boy would one day grow up to be very clever, too clever with his ideas which that influence the people around him and therefore cause riot in the kingdom.

Especially when the media is the controlled by the government, through seen or unseen hands, the people would believe what they read and hear. That is why I don't buy newspapers anymore, at lease not for the news and editorials.

In the second act, the reigning Sultan who was a spoilt brat who always wanted things his way, offended his cousin, the ruler of Majapahit. For that, Singapura was again attacked. The Laksamana helped the invaders and for that, he was turned into stone, what was termed as divine justice.

However, the another boot-licking pembesar who served the Majapahit became a hundreds time richer. And he died peacefully, so where is his divine justice?

The part where the Sultan's niece become his daughter-in-law and the Bendahara's wife's brother become his son-in-law, that was so true. Ths Sultan and the Bendahara were already in-laws became further in-laws. They're related and elated. So incestious.

Acting all around was quite good, though no one particularly stand out. The two commentators cum narrators were funny, playing it to the hilt with their antics.

Overall, I think it was quite funny. There were too much talking in some parts and the pace was a bit inconsistent, but those are minor flaws. Though I did find the section where they searched for the best singer, voted by the people, to sing for the Sultan ala Singapore Idol quite jarring to the whole play.

Highly recommended to go watch, if the play is staged in Kuala Lumpur.

X-Files: I want to Believe

2008-08-16T22:41:00.000+08:00

I went to watch this at 10.45 last Saturday morning. I had no other choice as the movie is close to the end of its run at the cinemas.

First off, most reviews about it was negative. SK said it was bad. A review said that it was offensive to gays, as the villain in the movie was gay.

Thus far I have only seen one positive review in the papers. The other positive review came from Lloyd.

My opinion. It was like a typical episode of X-Files. Which is not to say it wasn't great. It was good and I felt satisfied when I left the cinema.

*spoilers ahead*
It has been five years since they left the FBI. Scully is a doctor at the local hospital and she is personally attached to this boy who has been struck with an incurable disease.

And guess what? Mulder lives together with Scully. They shared two passionate kisses and they sleep on the same bed.

But of course, they are not married. They still call each other by their last names.

The plot was about healthy young women being abducted and killed. Their body parts were found buried everywhere.

The person who led them to the body parts was a convicted paedophile priest called Father Joe. At one point, Scully said, "If God was trying to tell me something, through a paedophile priest no less ..... "

Anyway, no one believes that Father Joe (FJ) was really psychic. But he led them to another body and cried tears of blood, which had Mulder believing in him.

I think what I found interesting about the film was the familiarity of the themes from the TV series. Father Joe could be really psychic, but in the end was proven otherwise. There was a lot of ambiguity there.

To me, it was pretty clear that he was, just not he was not a very good one. He claimed to be given visions by God. This was his way of serving God and entering back into the arms of Jesus after his heinous crimes.

Which is highly possible. Probably he was redeeming himself by helping the FBI with his visions.

The other theme that was recurring was "Don't give up". For no reason, FJ told Scully that and it stuck in her mind. She did not give up and tried a new radical procedure on the dying boy, even though everyone has given up and wanted the boy sent to a hospice.

It was also relevant to Mulder, as he was not giving up on finding the latest missing girl alive. The FBI was pretty closed to solving the case and Scully wanted Mulder to let them finish the job.

But Mulder would have none of it as he believed that the latest missing girl was still alive. And he had to find her fast.

Scully accused him of being stubborn, followed by "that was the reason I fell for you". Mulder then said that was why it is impossible for them to be together. She still thinks that part of it is due to the fact that he can't stop looking, he can't stop believing even though he knows his sister is dead.

So that was why I find it satisfying. I am quite a fan of X-Files and to see all these development between the two characters, how much they have grown since but still very much the same.

Scully wanted a normal life, to come home everyday, to not chase monsters in the dark anymore. Mulder couldn't stop because that is who he is and that is his life.

But still, the darkness finds them.

About the villain. It's actually this organ transplant transportation guy who was killing people to harvest the body. His employer / husband was dying from cancer. He wanted to keep his boyfriend alive by transplanting his head to the victim's body. One body could probably last a few weeks and then a new body would be needed.

And the there was a relationship between the dying guy and Father Joe. Apparently, the employer was one of the alter boys that Father Joe "buggered", to use Scully's choice of words.

*end of spoiler*

Basically, I would think that the movie is good simply because it was good to know what has happened to my favourite FBI agents. The chemistry was still there and all the ingredients that made the series great were there. For me, the plot was secondary to Mulder and Scully's motivation and evolution since the last time we saw them.

Probably it wouldn't be as good to non-fans. Even the guy who sat behind me said "Quite good what. Who was the one who told us it was lousy?"

Bad habits

2008-08-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

With the exam over, I went to watch this movie called Bad Habits. It was a movie about, well, bad habits.

Warning, spoilers ahead.

There is nun who believe so strongly in Jesus and that faith can overcome everything.

The context. Throughout the movie, it was raining and some parts of Mexico was flooded and many have died. The nun sees herself as the saviour; she even dreamnt of herself walking on water like Jesus did.

Thus, she began to starve herself and pray whole day long asking for the rain to stop. She refused to eat even when other nuns tried to bring her food. Till one day, she collapsed and needed to be hospitalised.

Another intertwined story was about this girl of around 12 years, whom the nun taught in her religious classes. Her name was Linda and she was a little on the chubby side, though according to the doctor, she's in the normal weight range.

Her mother is skinny like hell. There was a scene showing her bag of bones body, standing on the weighting scale at only 40kg. She was obsessed about keeping her body thin; she runs everyday, have only a bite or two a day and smokes a lot.

The sad part was that the mum wanted Linda to be thin like her. She forbade Linda from eating cake at her friend's birthday party and things like that. Linda does love to eat and so she had to resort to hiding cookies in her teddy bear and bring it to the toilet to eat.

Other tortures she endured include being sign up for a health clinic where one could supposed lose weight by eating delicious stuff like blueberry sorbet and chocolate. Linda didn't make any progress and so she was booed on stage.

Linda's mother is so thin that her husband complained that there was bone sticking out when they were having sex. So he had an affair with a Peruvian girl half his age, who is more buxom. Linda's mom was so thin that her breasts were almost flat, like a guy (I wonder whether she is actually like that or did she lose weight just for the film).

After trying all sorts of methods and Linda hasn't lost a single gram, the mother wanted to her stomach stapled. Linda was so terrified and resorted to poisoning her mother.

The mother died, but in fact was due to some disease which she had. What disease it was not made clear in the movie. But I think should be something related to her diet or lack of it.

And poor Linda thought that she actually killed her mother.

Back to the nun. The rain finally stopped and she was discharged from the hospital. Standing at the church rooftop, she was enjoying the clear morning sky. The movie ended with the clouds bursting again and she took off her nun headscarf.

I suppose that means that it finally sunk in that she is not Storm.

Overdue II

2008-08-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

I know this blog has been neglected yet again, since I came back from the KL trip. But this time it was due to my exams, which just ended yesterday. Ninety six hours of torment finally over. Woohoo!

Anyway, the first week back was quite uneventful. Though there were some stronger than usual yearning pangs for my dear, to be separated again after a wonderful week together.

But two weeks ago was our 18th month anniversary. It was another milestone for us. This is my longest relationship ever. Even the sum of all my previous relationships is less than this.

Of course, a relationship is not measured by the time that we are attached. It is measured by the quality and time spent together.

As a sidetrack, let me put down what my colleague actually said.
MJ: So how did you celebrate your anniversary? Got fireworks or not?

Me: What fireworks? He's in KL and I am here. I am supposed to deliver it by mail is it?

MJ: No la, I don't mean fireworks physically. It could be figuratively hahaha

Tsk, tsk.

First off, I am extremely glad to have him as my boyfriend. It is true that no one is perfect and a relationship is what you make of it.

We take the effort to listen and understand each other. There are times when I need emotional support, to have someone to care for me and relieve my stress and the is the one I go to.

He has been sending me cards every few weeks and every time I read them, I would go awww, so sweet. He knows he can't be everything to me, but he tries anyway.

For that, I am a lucky guy.

Sometime I don't really want to think too much about the future and just enjoy and cherish what I have with him now.

And yes dear, I did notice that I am no longer genderless on your blog. To finally know that I am guy is a relief.

I am proud and glad that you have taken the bold decision.

I have never really watch you sleep, as it always seems to me that you were already half awake when I opened my eyes.

I just wanna say this. I promise to always be by your side.

I would like to be the one who could douse your anger of fire when it burns, who you could turn to when the chips are down, who would provide you a shoulder to lean on when you need it and to catch you whenever you fall.

A belated happy anniversary, dear.

P/S And for the last time, there is no domineering one in our relationship. I don't see it that way and neither does it work as such.

My week with Nyk

2008-07-24T22:34:00.008+08:00

We reached back in KL last Tuesday evening on a 30-minute delayed flight. Nyk and I had dinner together at a coffee shop near his house and all too soon, it was time to say goodbye.

It was our first trip together and it was memorable. We took many photographs together or in the words of Ritsuka from the anime Loveless, "create memories". I get to see him for 24 hours a day, with him beside me all day long, seeing him smile and cheery, never a dull moment.

The main reason probably is due to our distance and hence our time together is still exciting and treasured.

I got to see him on Wednesday night and on Friday for lunch karaoke. It was another first with him and we kicked off our duet with If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross. Not really a love song but it was a song we are both familiar with as it is always sung in leadership camps.

He went back to work and I watched Hellboy II. I have been a fan of Guillermo del Toro's work since Pan's Labyrinth. And I was not disappointed as Hellboy was a visual feast of weird and fantastical creatures.

After work, we went to this restaurant called DainTi Hill. It serves Japanese and Chinese dishes. We ordered pork, frog's legs, chicken, dragon roll sushi etc. Food was quite good and it was a good choice of eatery by Nyk.

On Saturday, SK, Nyk and I met up again for one last time. I needed a haircut and he brought me to his hairstylist for a quick snip snip. We headed back to my house as we were too tired to go anywhere else.

Surprisingly, my mum never mentioned anything about Nyk during and after his visit. She did seem to take a liking for SK though LOL

Nyk and SK were invited for dinner but they declined.

I headed back to Singapore on Sunday. After a week long break, it was finally back to work on Monday.

A very relaxing week away from work and more importantly, with my dearest. I came back refreshed, recharged and rejuvenated.

Looking forward to our next trip in November.

The cat is out of the bag Pt II

2008-07-20T23:27:00.002+08:00

Me: That I am actually a serial killer on the 10 most wanted Interpol's list?

MJ: Should we be scared? Anyway, whatever that we know, we assure you that we won’t tell anyone. We swear.

Me: Ok.

PL: Shall we say out loud what it is that we know or do you know by now? Or shall it be an unspoken?

Me: You can just say it. It’s up to you.

PL: We know what happened in June 2005. And I have to say, I really admire you for that.

Me: Thank you.

PL: So you won’t suddenly resign tomorrow, since that we now know?

Me: No la, just because of this ... I would probably just have to kill both of you haha

PL: So now we can blackmail you ... haha

Me: Well, it’s up to you how you want to use this information. It’s your conscience, I can’t tell you what to do or what not to do ….

PL: Actually I feel bad knowing also. Since you didn’t tell us earlier when we asked ….

Me: It’s a bit too late for that isn’t it? So kepoh (busybody) ...

MJ: OK, OK. We won’t tell anyone. Think we are stupid is it?

PL: You totally had us fooled you know. You told us you have a girlfriend. When I was reading your blog, I was like oh my god, oh my god, oh my god ...

MJ: No it was more like OMG, OMG, OMG with caps!

PL: We were on MSN and we were copying and sending snippets of your posts to each other, like did you read this part? Or look at this paragraph!

MJ: So with that out of the way, I have hundreds of question to ask you.

Me: I wouldn’t expect less from you. Shoot.

MJ: Who is the dominant one in the relationship?

Me: Huh? *try to not roll eyes*

PL: Who is the girl and who is the guy?

Me: There is no guy or girl. We’re both equals in the relationship.

MJ: There must be someone who is more caring and loving …

Me: We take care of each other. We care for each other. There are times when I would care for him more and vice versa.

PL: Quite different from us .....

MJ: It’s so exciting. This other whole world that was unknown to me before this.

Me: I am just like you, I have flesh and bones, blood in my veins, I can feel pain, I cry. Though I am glad this has expanded your worldview. That is always a good thing.

There was so much more to talk about, but it had to wait as lunch time was almost over and we had to get back to the office.

Thus, the cat is out of the bag. I have been discovered. I don’t actually mind them knowing, but the disconcerting fact was that it wasn’t on my schedule and on my terms.

I would probably have told them anyway, but in my own time. What happened was totally out of the blue and definitely way ahead of schedule.

Though come to think of it, they are not the most ideal people to know, judging from their reactions when I sang M2M's Pretty Boy with lyrics that go "Oh my pretty pretty boy I love you, Like I never ever loved no one before you."

Still, it has already happened. It is a kinda a big deal, but not that big a deal. I am glad that the result of them knowing wasn't as bad as I had thought it would be. Their acceptance and understanding is much appreciated. It demonstrates their understanding of the issue and its consequences.

We even had another discussion about it three days after the incident. They were supposed to type out a word document of questions that they would like to ask.

I should probably come up with an FAQ of Common Questions from Straight People Once They Found Out You’re Gay.

The cat is out of the bag Pt I

2008-07-19T09:31:00.001+08:00

I thought today would be just another normal working day with the usual Monday blues.

I was wrong.

Not long after I sat down at my desk, my colleague PL said "I went to your *social network* profile. How come you only have pictures of yourself? No girlfriend photo? And one other photo taken with a guy? Who is he?"

"Just a friend."

"And you look horrible in those photos. Except for the main picture."

"Fine, fine. I will put up new ones when I am free."

"Oh, do you have an English name?"

"No I don't."

I have no idea where this was leading to so I changed the subject to shoes. I told her about the shoes I bought.

Lunch time came. PL, MJ and I went for lunch. Usually we have lunch in a bigger group but somehow for today, it is just the three of us.

I have always wanted to try out this new place called OchaCha. It serves green tea in all its permutations and variety. Think of it like the green tea version of Starbucks.

I ordered the tuna wasabe sandwich. It doesn't look like much, but it was quite filling. The tuna has a hint of wasabi and the taste goes well with the tuna. I also had a green tea latte.

PL: Do you treat us as friends or colleagues?

Me: I think of you as colleagues and friends. Heck, we just went for karaoke last week.

PL: But friends and colleagues different.

Me: Well, I would say that some of our colleagues I would just consider them as colleagues. But you guys are friends as well.

MJ: Hey, ask us ask us. Ask how come it is only the three of us today?

Me: Hmmm, I don't know why. It is because you have something to tell us? You finally got a boyfriend?

MJ: No la ....

Me: Oh, you are getting married!

MJ: Of course not.

ME: Then why?

PL: Should we tell him? Think better not la.

MJ: We should. I feel that he should know that we know.

PL: But I can pretend that I didn't know.

MJ: No you can't. How can you pretend that you don't know when you DO know?

This goes on for another minute or so.

PL: You tell him then.

MJ: So could you guess what is it that we know? *looking at me*

Me: Errr .... no.

MJ: We know your deepest darkest secret.

To be continued ....

Bangkok trip

2008-07-17T23:49:00.003+08:00

For the past two days, I have been back in KL for the past two days. It is great to finally see my family again after a hiatus of five months.

Something pretty exciting thing happened that disturbed the tranquility of my life last week, a few days before my planned trip home. I shall blog about that later.

I was in Bangkok from the 12th to the 15th. It was a group of 14 guys and 1 girl. It was too short, but we managed to visit the Chatuchak weekend market, the Grand Palace and a lovely session of spa. The spa was excellent and the choice of it was an unexpectedly pleasant experience which deserves a repeat.

I bought 3 pairs of short pants, 5 shirts (including my first purchase from Zara), a belt, a bag, a pair of underwear. There were also souvenirs for my colleagues and a Naraya handbag for my mom which she likes a lot.

Another highlight of the trip was the seafood dinner we had. It was at this place called Lek Seafood. The food was really delicious and I especially like the seabass in lime sauce and curry crab.

Anyway, the main thing was that Nyk and I finally went on a trip together. Our unforgettable maiden trip to the land of a thousand smiles. It was also the longest time I got to spend with Nyk. A full 100 hours non-stop continuous physical presence of him. He got to know me a tad better and I also found out some interesting things about him.

Time really flies when we were there. Now that I am back in own room, I miss waking up to him beside me, receiving a morning kiss and hug.

These boots are made for walking

2008-07-09T23:32:00.004+08:00

I have been looking for a pair of sneakers or walking shoes for the past three weeks. My current Adidas one which was bought back in 2005 causes my feet to ache after wearing them, so I suppose it’s time for it to go.

The expensive MBT shoes which I bought a year ago have a tear on its sole. I wanted to get it fixed but the Singapore distributor has just been changed and they are sorting their things out. Hence, I have to wait a month or so before I could get them to do something.

Basically, I needed ~~an excuse to shop~~ a pair of work shoes and casual shoes.

Initially I wanted to get another pair of Adidas. I quite like their sneakers, with their trademark three stripes on the side. Went into every Adidas shop that I passed by and saw a pair which I quite like at Parkway Parade. But unfortunately, it is a size too big.

The search continued. I even went to Queensway where I first bought the Adidas shoes. That place is well known for selling shoes and other sport-related equipment. I think I saw dozens of shoes but sad to say none was to my liking. I am not sure whether it is due to cost-cutting or something else, but the shoes didn’t feel as comfortable. Most of them felt inferior to the touch.

Thus, it was a failed mission.

Finally, after all the hard work I bought a pair of Rockport work shoes last weekend. I quite like Rockport (thanks Ry!) and I already have a pair of their shoes.

So half of the mission is completed.

The remaining half of the task was solved on Sunday. I bought a pair of Reebok walking shoes called Rainwalker. Apparently they are water-proof, but the main reason I bought them is because of the excellent sole cushioning which is made of air. The air flows from the heel to the front of the feet as my feet on the ground.

The Rainwalker shoes cost S$139. I contemplated buying online from a U.S. store, thinking that it would be cheaper but there wasn't much difference in price.

Said one review, “Good shoe, but too much air cushioning - These shoes are taking a while to get used to. In the pictures you can't tell this, but this shoe has a thick sole, that bulges slightly outward and is mostly made of air. When you are walking in these shoes, the air cushioning is overpowering to the degree that it feels like you are walking on springs”

Yes, they are indeed bouncy, but they are really comfortable.

So now, I have two new additions to the shoe cabinet ;-)

Nyk's visit

2008-06-29T15:06:00.002+08:00

Another long period between my last post and this one.

So let's see, what happened in between? Nyk came down for a long-awaited visit and spend three nights with me. We went to the Singapore Zoo as I had free tickets. It was a humid day, made worse by the fact that almost half the Singapore population was there. Well, not really but it felt that way as it was the school holidays and it was also Blood Donors Day and blood donors got free admission.

Still, it was quite fun to look at the animals. Some of them look pitiful though, like the polar bears. They look thin and their fur seem to be falling off as we could see the black skin underneath.

The next day was a Sunday and we went mattress-hunting as Jaded Jeremy needed a bouncier and firmer mattress to sleep on and etc. I brought them to Ikea and let them had their first taste of their famous Swedish meat balls and friend chicken. Nyk loved them!

We went to this quite rundown place called Katong Mall for Japanese dinner. The restaurant was called Wahiro and the menu was extensive. It had a very authentic feel to it. The food was quite good though I would prefer Hamoru in Suntec City.

Other than that, other days have been mostly work. And more work. Last weekend was mostly spent at home to rest as I didn't feel like going out anywhere.

It is currently the Great Singapore Sale. I haven't bought much of anything yet. Which is so unlike me. Heh.

Oh, but I did go shopping for shoes yesterday. Unfortunately, I didn't find a pair which I like. There was a couple which I think were quite nice, but they were really expensive.

I need a break. Though I am not mentally-exhausted yet, but a break would be great. So I look forward to my trip to Bangkok in two weeks time!

Overdue

2008-06-08T23:25:00.002+08:00

Oh my poor blog. How terrible of you to have been ignored and not updated for so long!

But really, it couldn't be helped. Work has been terribly hectic, with me leaving the office after the sun has set and no earlier than 10 p.m. The past three weeks revolved around work, work and more work!

Heck, even my exam was postponed twice! I wanted to take it during the Wesak Day weekend, but couldn't. Then it was supposed to be last weekend. That wasn't meant to be either. It is kind of lucky of me as the exam is online-based and could be taken anytime. But still my exam plans did get screwed up.

As a result, I haven't been watching that many movies. I only watched five. Ironman was great, an unexpected sleeper hit. Harold & Kumar was funny, in a very gross (a lot of breasts!) and straight way. Accuracy of Death has an interesting storyline and a yummy Takeshi Kaneshiro doesn't hurt. Taxidermia was weird but in a good way, with a fire-shooting penis in its first three minutes a prelude to more weirdness.

And I haven't seen my dear for ages. There were times when I miss him badly, missing his kisses and touch. I really wish he could make it next week!

Till the next post.

Gay Marriage in California

2008-05-17T13:22:00.004+08:00

Apparently today is International Day Against Homophobia or IDAHO Day.

And this day is preceded by some excellent news from California.

From the Associated Press (I have edited out a few paragraphs):
California's top court legalizes gay marriage

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — California's Supreme Court declared that gay couples in the nation's most populous state can marry — a monumental but perhaps short-lived victory for the gay rights movement Thursday that was greeted with tears, hugs, kisses and at least one instant proposal of matrimony.

Same-sex couples could tie the knot in as little as a month. But the window could close soon after — religious and social conservatives are pressing to put a constitutional amendment on the ballot in November that would undo the Supreme Court ruling and ban gay marriage.

"Essentially, this boils down to love. We love each other. We now have equal rights under the law," declared a jubilant Robin Tyler, a plaintiff in the case along with her partner. She added: "We're going to get married. No Tupperware, please."

A crowd of people raised their fists in triumph inside City Hall, and people wrapped themselves in the rainbow-colored gay-pride flag outside the courthouse. In the Castro, long the center of the gay community in San Francisco, Tim Oviatt wept as he watched the news on TV.

"I've been waiting for this all my life. This is a life-affirming moment," he said.

By the afternoon, gay and lesbian couples had already started lining up at San Francisco City Hall to make appointments to get marriage licenses. In West Hollywood, supporters planned to serve "wedding cake" at an evening celebration.

In its 4-3 ruling, the Republican-dominated high court struck down state laws against same-sex marriage and said domestic partnerships that provide many of the rights and benefits of matrimony are not enough.

"In contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual's capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual's sexual orientation," Chief Justice Ronald George wrote for the majority in ringing language that delighted gay rights activists.

Massachusetts in 2004 became the first, and so far only, state to legalize gay marriage; more than 9,500 couples have taken advantage of the law. But the California ruling is considered monumental by virtue of the state's size — 38 million out of a U.S. population of 302 million — and its historical role as the vanguard of many social and cultural changes that have swept the country since World War II.

California has an estimated 108,734 same-sex households, according to 2006 census figures.

"It's about human dignity. It's about human rights. It's about time in California," San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, pumping his fist in the air, told a roaring crowd at City Hall. "As California goes, so goes the rest of the nation. It's inevitable. This door's wide open now. It's going to happen, whether you like it or not."

Unlike Massachusetts, California has no residency requirement for obtaining a marriage license, meaning gays nationwide are likely to flock to the state to be wed, said Jennifer Pizer, an attorney who worked on the case.

The ultimate reach of the ruling could be limited, however, since most states do not recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. Nor does the federal government.

Outside the San Francisco courthouse, gay marriage supporters cried and cheered as news of the decision spread. Jeanie Rizzo, one of the plaintiffs, called Pali Cooper, her partner of 19 years, via cell phone and asked, "Pali, will you marry me?"

California already offers same-sex couples who register as domestic partners many of the legal rights and responsibilities afforded to married couples, including the right to divorce and to sue for child support.

Citing a 1948 California Supreme Court decision that overturned a ban on interracial marriages, the justices struck down the state's 1977 one-man, one-woman marriage law, as well as a similar, voter-approved law that passed with 61 percent in 2000.

The chief justice was joined by Justices Joyce Kennard and Kathryn Werdegar, all three of whom were appointed by Republican governors, and Justice Carlos Moreno, the only member of the court appointed by a Democrat.

In a dissent, Justice Marvin Baxter agreed with many arguments of the majority but said that the court overstepped its authority and that changes to marriage laws should be decided by the voters. Justices Ming Chin and Carol Corrigan also dissented.

California's secretary of state is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signatures to put the amendment on the ballot.

Schwarzenegger, a Republican who has twice vetoed legislation that would have granted marriage to same-sex couples, said in a statement that he respected the court's decision and "will not support an amendment to the constitution that would overturn this state Supreme Court ruling."

It should have been like that since 2004, as after all, San Francisco is the gay capital of America.

Taken from the Economist:
Court decisions have led America into changes that seem obvious and moral in retrospect. The Supreme Court forced school integration, overturned laws against contraception and reversed bans on interracial marriage. But courts have also outpaced the American people and their elected legislatures in ways that have never been fully settled, such as by granting the guarantee of abortion rights through Roe v Wade. Whether decisions over gay marriage are later seen as enlightened is far from settled yet.

That is why for all its shortcomings and war on terrorism, America is till very much a great country. Well done, California!

Stupid straight men

2008-05-06T22:41:00.002+08:00

In Singapore's issue of Men's Health, there appeared this letter which idiocy, insensitivity and insecurity of its writer leaves me dumbfounded.

Thank you for putting a shirt on your models on the covers. You don't know how much that means to me. I have been reading Men's Health since October 2005 and when I carry it around, I'm always a bit embarrassed about holding a magazine with a shirtless guy on the cover. Covering up your cover guy really helps!

According to his logic, it is embarrassing for gals to hold magazines with skimpily-clothed females on the cover.

Hello, there are female readers too for Men's Health, however few they may be. They might enjoy looking at the cover.

Phhhptt .... straight men.

New abode

2008-04-27T23:09:00.002+08:00

Just a little update.

I have moved into my current abode since last Saturday. It has been fun thus far. Nothing too drastically different. I have fully unpacked my stuff a couple of days ago.

Went for swims a couple of times but haven't started using the rest of the amenities like squash and tennis courts.

I have also been doing the usual house-moving things i.e. buying things. I have bought a stand fan and a stand of drawers. Still need a couple of more things.

Travelling to works takes slightly longer now. The walking distance to the MRT station has increased but the MRT ride time has gone down. But the 15 minute walk everyday is good for me as I have been working late this past week and haven't done much exercise.

It is indeed quite liberating to be able to not have restrictions on the topic of conversations. To know someone who understands exactly where I am coming from.

I am contented ;-)

Cool ads

2008-04-21T09:34:00.003+08:00

Enjoy these videos ;-)

By the way, that really cute guy said "Cool car."

The text says that "You don't have to be this brave, call us instead",

Two movies and a free lunch

2008-04-14T23:20:00.003+08:00

Weekend sped by quickly. On Saturday I wanted to donate blood but was the plan was thwarted by heavy rain. I may be benevolent, but not that benevolent to brave heavy downpour just to go the bloodbank.

Anyway, I was invited to attend a talk on landbanking, by Walton International. I am already quite familiar with the concept, as I have heard about it 4 years ago when I was still in KL. I had wanted to invest then, but didn't due to lack of money as I just started working then.

I am considering that again, but of course not without taking into account its risks, especially in these uncertain economic times.

As such, I was there at the Meridien Hotel more for the free food. The spread was quite delicious. I liked the cordon bleu chicken and the fruit tarts the most. And there was wine flowing freely.

After that I watched Untraceable with James and Benji. The movie wasn't too bad, but the the story and editing could've been tighter. It was pretty slow at parts.

Sunday came and the skies were clear, so I was at the bloodbank to fulfill my role as a lifesaver, as Nyk calls it.

On a related note, apparently the Thais are finally waking up to the discriminatory wordings of the blood donor form. Taken from Trevvy:

The Red Cross of Thailand said that it would change its screening process for blood donors to address concerns from activists who said the system discriminated against gays, according to Agence France-Presse (AFP).

The Red Cross requires donors to fill out a form to assess their risk of disease.

Gay-rights activists had complained that one question, which was meant to target people more likely to have diseases transmitted by sex and drugs, had effectively blocked all gay men from donating by only asking about same-sex relations.

"We didn't mean to hurt anyone," said Soisaang Pikulsod, director of the Thai Red Cross National Blood Centre. "It was just to ensure the highest possible safety of our patients."

The Red Cross will rework the form to include more questions about all types of sexual behaviour, gay or heterosexual, that could increase the risk of diseases such as AIDS, she said.

Nathee Teerarojanapong, a gay activist who complained about the questioning, urged the Red Cross to focus on screening out anyone with risky sex and drug habits, instead of singling out gay men and women.

"Sometimes gays want to do good things too," he said.

My sentiments exactly.

Watched Definitely Maybe in the evening. It was pretty good, though it wasn't so much a romantic comedy as it was portrayed in the trailer. You can read all about it here if you are interested.

I enjoyed the movie, as it was very realistic in its story, about a guy reminiscing about his three ex-girlfriends and figuring who he truly loves. Though Benji and James felt that the protagonist was screwed up and led a complicated life. But hey, life IS complicated and screwed up.

This weekend will be my last at my current residence. Looking forward to waking up to smoke-free air.

Have a great week ahead!

Swamped

2008-04-10T23:13:00.005+08:00

I have been really busy these past two weeks with work, as we have quarterly reporting to do. About half is completed.

And in the midst of all these I have to move out, so it has been really an eventful period.

And I plan to sit for a paper next month. So is my dear Nyk.

In addition, my internet connection has been going moody, with intermittent connections even though the signal is strong. I couldn't go online much.

Anyway, my ex-colleague helped me to moved most of my stuff to Jaded Jeremy's place on Sunday.

Yes, I am finally moving in with JJ after a protracted period of uncertainty

It was very kind of my ex-colleague to help me by packing the things into his car and sending them to my new residence in the east. I had expected two trips at least, but everything seemed to just fit nicely into his Camry, with room to spare.

I would be moving to my new room next weekend, as my current tenure only ends then. I look forward to that. And I wouldn't miss the stupid bitch dog barking and its disgusting hair which is just all over the entire house.

However, I did manage to catch a movie yesterday, called Teeth. It's about a teenage girl who has a teeth at her vagina, the mythical vagina dentata. It supposedly represents straight men's fear of the mysterious female sexuality, a black hole which hides a monster (the teeth) which they have to overcome to claim the prize of virginity and return to the place (womb) where they came from.

That was according to the movie.

I googled it and here are a few meanings of the toothed vagina:
1. "Toothed vagina," the classic symbol of men's fear of sex, expressing the unconscious belief that a woman may eat or castrate her partner during intercourse. (www.goddesscafe.com)

2 A fish inhabits the vagina of the Terrible Mother; the hero is the man who overcomes the Terrible Mother, breaks the teeth out of her vagina, and so makes her into a woman. The myth expresses the threat sexual intercourse poses for men who, although entering triumphantly, always leave diminished (Wikipedia)

Pffft ... straight men and their fears.

The movie is pretty low budget, with lots of blood spurting everywhere after the penis is bitten off. And the movie actually shows the cut-off penis! There is even a locker room scene where if you pay attention enough, you can see a guy's pecker.

This is very uncommon in movies. The male organ has always been hidden as opposed to breasts which are shown wantonly. There are scenes of phallus and testicles and butts.

Nyk would definitely love this movie LOL

Moving castle

2008-04-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

I have been updating my blog only with pictures from Cleo till I haven’t been talking about myself much. Well, in case you are remotely interested, I am doing quite well, thank you very much.

Though I have been going to work on weekends and need to look for a new place to stay.

My landlord’s mother and brother have moved in to stay for about a month. The flat which I am renting has 3 rooms and of course, I have a room to myself. There is basically not enough space for 6 people to share 2 rooms and thus, I have to move out.

I did not feel comfortable with the extra presence of two people, as the whole place feels cramped. It was supposed to be a temporary arrangement for the brother and mother, but how long is “temporary” is anyone’s guess.

As such, with such an awkward situation whereby the brother sleeps in the living room, I brought the topic up to my landlord. She sheepishly said that she had wanted to ask me to move out but didn’t know how to bring it up.

So long story short, I have to move out in a month’s time. I am looking for a place in the east as it would be closer to my current workplace.

The headache of moving has begun, as I have (not surprisingly) added quite a bit of things to my possession, from the initial two bagful of clothes when I first came to Singapore. I think I now have at least 5 bags.

Eye candies V

2008-03-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

The final part of the Cleo's Bachelors. Was actually considering not putting these last few up as the results were already known two Fridays ago.

The winner was number 33, Daren Tan, who was some reality show winner (can't remember which one).

Eye candies IV

2008-03-16T23:10:00.004+08:00

This is part four of the Cleo's 50 Bachelors. This is also the one where Jaded Jeremy has been waiting for.

This leaves the final ten guys. Coming soon!

Eye candies III

2008-03-12T23:25:00.006+08:00

Sorry for the delay, this is part 3 of the Eye Candy series.

Nothing really great here. Joakim Gomez is actually quite cute, as seen during the play Chesty Nutty Bang Bang. But with the nerdy combed-flat hairstyle, it totally spoiled his looks!

The next installment of bachelors will be better. Stay tuned!

Eye candies II

2008-03-08T00:02:00.006+08:00

Here's the part two.

If you noticed, I have left out a page with three contestants. Trust me, you did not miss out anything. I am just ~~being mean~~ trying to save the upload time for readers.http://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=8532639#
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For this group, I like no 11 (look at that swimmer's body, just nice; not too bulky) and no 17 (studious look, hmmm I like!).

Eye candies

2008-03-06T23:27:00.003+08:00

I bought the March edition of Cleo Singapore more than two weeks back. It was then latched into the hands of Jaded Jeremy and now finally, it's time I share some of its contents ;-)

I just love number eight. Such a cutie, with such sharp features. I am sure QR would agree.

More to come!

New toy

2008-03-03T23:43:00.005+08:00

Recently I renewed my contract with M1 and what this means is that I could opt for a new phone. One of the better things over here is that consumers can buy mobile phones with 50% to 100% off the retail price. The latter means free mobile phone lah.

I had been looking at phones since before Chinese New Year and had shortlisted my choices to three phones – the Sony Ericsson K810i, Nokia 6500 Classic and Nokia 6500 Slider.

Price-wise, they cost $198, $198 and $168 respectively. That was before Chinese New Year. The 6500 Slider was cheaper than the Classic, which was strange because the retail price is the other way round, with a differential of at least $50.

After Chinese New Year, the Slider remained at the same price but both the Sony Ericsson’s and Classic’s prices increased to $238. It really doesn’t make sense, even though the Classic didn’t make the cut for my final two.

I was leaning back and forth between the 6500 S (Slider) and the K810i. I was more keen on the Slider as I had never had a slider phone before. Furthermore, the brushed stainless steel finish was quite nice. It was also cold to the touch which made it unique. The down side is that is bulkier and heavier than candybar phones, at 117g.

Practicality ruled as I would rather have the slimmer and lighter K810i. However, this wasn’t my ideal choice either, as it has a joystick (which is prone to malfunction and Sony’s new phones no longer have it) and the camera wasn’t as good as the K800i. But I supposed I could make do as I do have a new camera.

Unexpectedly, the thriftier side of me emerged and all these were thrown out of the window. I browsed through their models which come free and there were four – the K800i, Sony Ericsson K660i, Nokia 2630 and Nokia 6120.

So I looked up the features of the Nokia 6120 and I was pleasantly surprised with what I found out. It received the thumbs up as being the lightest and smallest phone with the Symbian 60 software, which usually comes with smartphones. There were praises all around for its 3G and quad band compatibilities, responsiveness and customization abilities. The downsides mentioned were the small screen and fonts, and also a lack of Wifi.

All the reviews made it a very attractive phone. I was definitely tempted. I don’t listen to much music so Sony Ericsson Walkman series is out. Samsung, LG and Motorola are not even worth considering.

Thus, my choice was made. It’s free and the money I saved ($238) could go into buying memory cards for the phone.

I have seen the black model often and my current phone is black too. So I didn't want that.

Also, online reviews mentioned that the white one is much nicer. Having not seen it, I took a chance and ordered the white version online. It was delivered to me the next day. I And now, I have a new toy to play with ;-)

The picture doesn’t do it justice. It shows as if it has more silver than white, but it’s not like that.

I am relearning how to use a Nokia phone, after two years of using Sony Ericsson.

Psychic

2008-02-28T23:47:00.004+08:00

In my new work place, my team of five has four girls and I am the only thorn amongst the roses.

Anyway, this conversation transpired on Tuesday.

Colleague 1: Wah ... now you are a part of us already.
Colleague 2: Yeah, you are now one of the gals ...
Colleague 3: Must be damn nice for you right ... surrounded by four pretty girls ...
Colleague 2: Yeah la. But how you know, maybe he likes guys. Then it would be no feelings, or maybe even torturous ....

How true, how true. My colleagues are psychic!

Election

2008-02-25T23:29:00.003+08:00

The elections are coming and I don't think I would be able to do my civic duty to vote this time. The incumbent in my constituency, which is Pantai, is Dato Seri Shahrizat Abdul Jalil and she will be facing the Puteri of Keadilan. Should be an interesting fight, don't you think?

Incidentally, 8th March is International Women's Day.

My dear Nyk would be voting for the very first time, so yay for him. You have my support in the things you do and you will be duly rewarded ;)

Speaking of which, this video is damn funny. Not to mention catchy.

To those of you who will be voting, happy voting!

P.S. I Love You

2008-02-23T23:29:00.004+08:00

Last Monday was my first day at my new job. My parents and Nyk asked whether I was excited and I replied that I did not.

In fact, I didn't even feel anything. It just felt normal and routine. I supposed I have become a seasoned job changer, even though this is only my third job in four years.

My new colleagues are nice. One of them is really funny and she has a loud personality. She's bubbly and in her own words "feisty". That should keep my work days from falling into boredom.

My head of department treated everyone to a seafood lunch on my second day. We had prawns and three types of crabs (I like the sweet-spicy one best; the steamed ones tasted pretty bland).

Basically where my new work place is, there is much less choices of places to eat. The CBD area has so many hawker centers and restaurants that I have not tried them all in the two years that I used to work there.

As such, I expect my meals expenses to go up. Hopefully not by a lot.

On Friday, six of us managed to watch PS I Love You. It stars Gerard Butler (300) and Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby, Boys Don't Cry) as a couple who are madly in love with each other and had gotten married at a young age of 20.

One day, Jerry (Butler) died of brain cancer, leaving Holly (Swank) to cope with his death with the support of her sister and her best friend.

Apparently, Jerry had arranged for 10 letters to be sent to Holly after he died, spread over the course of one year. The first letter came on her 30th birthday. All those letters were signed with P.S. I Love You, hence the movie title.

It was pretty obvious that they love each other deeply. Holly fell into depression and stayed at home. The letters however persuaded to do the opposite, which was to go out there and have fun. She visited a gay club, Ireland, went fishing, sang on stage, things which she would not have done on her own accord.

The movie was funny, touching, thought provoking and ultimately the message was we have to move forward in life, no matter what happens. We still have to live our lives, work, hang out, eat, sleep, etc.

There was not a dry eye left in the cinema. I was teary-eyed at those moving scenes, that two person could share a love so deep, that it is hard to move on but it is even harder to stay put. All the while, I was thinking of Nyk and hoping for the same.

Overall, I would give the movie 4 out of 5 stars. Go watch it!

Our first Valentines Day celebration

2008-02-19T23:41:00.001+08:00

It was our first Valentine spent together last Thursday, even though we have been together for a year.

We didn't have any ideas what to do or where to go. Fortunately, my ahem! quick thinking saved the day, as I proposed we go to KL Tower.

I have never been there and coincidentally, neither has Nyk.

So Nyk took the afternoon off and we headed towards KL Tower. From what I know, the nearest monorail stop is Bukit Nanas. I remembered reading it somewhere. Even Nyk thought that it was that stop.

When we alighted, we saw a sign which pointed to the direction KL Tower and we followed that.

Walk, walk, walk, we didn't seem to be getting any nearer to our destination. Then we saw another sign.

So we walked some more.

Still no sign of it.

We decided to hail a cab. The cab driver was kind enough to tell us that it's actually just 100 meters down the road.

Finally we saw the huge signboard which says KL Tower, which is NOT anywhere near Bukit Nanas monorail, but instead nearer to Jalan Raja Chulan.

That's a lesson in Malaysian signage for everyone.

Climbing up took us about 10 minutes. Nyk was, by then, sweaty and hot and not in a very good mood. I managed to cheer him up though.

So we spent about an hour and a half there, taking in the view. I was surprised to see quite a number of tourists there, as I was expecting it to be not a very popular tourist spot. We also saw three secondary school gays guys and a lesbian couple.

After that, we had ice cream and sat down for a drink at Coffee Bean.

Dinner was at Heaven Fusion, where we were joined by SK and David. The portions were quite small, so we ordered 5 main course. We ended our meals with their signature dessert.

We cuddled and kissed in the car, as I would be going back to Singapore on Friday, one day earlier than originally planned. The times we had seemed too short, too insufficient, too fleeting.

Miss you lots my dear.

First anniversary

2008-02-16T19:57:00.004+08:00

My first year anniversary with Nyk was three weeks ago, just a week before I was supposed to go back to KL. As such, I didn't think that it was necessary to get anything on the day itself, as I would be back in KL later.

Besides, I haven't figured out what to get him. Nyk is not the easiest person to buy gifts for (and I am not complaining dear, just stating a fact!). So I had an extra one week to get something.

At least that was what I thought.

Close to lunch time, I got a call from the receptionist in my office. She asked me to go over to her place.

When I got there, I was shocked to see this waiting for me:

It was two bears sitting on a wagon of flowers.

When I saw it, I beamed. The smile I had couldn't be wiped off, even if someone punched me ten times.

The card said:

You are my first,
Our first year together,
Your love I do thirst,
To be in your arms forever.

I was pleasantly surprised (my dear could write poems!). Also, I was totally caught unaware, but thankfully SK knew about it beforehand, so she acted on my behalf and got Nyk an aromatherapy burner and three stalks of flowers (tulips, I think).

Anyways, I was smiling the whole day. Though some of colleagues did not believe that the flowers were for me, as we had a female colleague who always receive flowers and they thought it was for her.

It was the first time someone has given me flowers. And they smelled quite nice.

It was also the first time I reached a full year with someone, which is a milestone for me.

There was a card also, hand-delivered by Jaded Jeremy, from Nyk of course. Thanks for helping out JJ! ;-)

Thanks again for the flowers dear! Looking forward to more anniversaries with you!

CNY 2008

2008-02-14T11:08:00.002+08:00

First of all, a very Happy Chinese New Year! Yeah, I know it's a week late, but I could only come online today.

Also, a very Happy Valentine's Day!

I have been back in KL since last Tuesday, but my modem was going crazy on me and thus I can only post something now.

CNY has been quite eventful this year. I managed to spend time with Nyk last Tuesday before he went for his family trip to Penang. That deprived me of him for a full three days!

While he was away, I met some friends. One is Sam, the repressed guy who chose not to act out his gay sexuality. But apparently, he has decided otherwise as he doesn't want to be lonely no more. The reason for the change in heart? Age is catching up.

Anyway, Sam brought two of his friends to dinner, one who is my junior from secondary school. I could still recognise him as a) my school is small and b) he is a model and I have seen his pictures appeared in the Star before.

Then I also got to meet Kenny. Did some catching up with him as I only get to see him during Chinese New Year. Was quite bored as it was a Sunday so we decided to watch Kungfu Dunk. Not too bad, it got us laughing at some parts and my eyes rolling at others for its incredulity of stunts.

I got to meet my dearest again on Monday for dinner, while giving him a belated anniversary and early valentine's gift. It's actually one gift, not two. It is something he has always wanted since two birthdays ago and he practically lit up when he saw it.

On Tuesday, I had dinner with my course mates and I brought Nyk too. There were six others and only two of them don't know that I am gay. It was quite funny, as one of them who doesn't know asked softly, "Who is that Derek's friend?" to another who knows and the reply was "Just friend la."

Then I met him again yesterday for dinner with some mutual friends. It was quite fun talking and laughing about anything and everything. We ordered steamed fish, toufu (which I didn't get to eat), kailan and sweet and sour pork. The food was too bad.

I am making up for lost time with Nyk, as I will be going back to Singapore on Saturday morning ;-)

Chesty Nutty Bang Bang

2008-01-31T23:42:00.000+08:00

I went for a play called Chesty Nutty Bang Bang: The Hairspray of the Phoenix. From the title itself, it is quite obvious that it is a parody of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Hairspray and Harry Potter.

It started off with a bang, then slowed down a little in the first hour. The laughs came inconsistently. Even though it was pretty lame, the act of Sir Ian McKellan confusing his roles was pretty funny. In a scene from Lord of the Rings where he was in the tower with Saruman, Magneto emerged spouting lines from X-Men United.

Repeat the above with King Lear which had Ian McKellan in it too. Still funny to me.

Nothing is sacred in this parody. There were Will.I.Am Legend, AVP (Ah Lian Vs Predator, tagline: You never die before ...... is it?), Ratatouille became Ratattooist, Beauty World being poked fun of, Bangkok and the fictional Chitty Chitty Bang Kock go-go bar with its Transformers team of go-go boys, Heroes, etc.

Not forgetting the out of the news and probably forgotten famous sex video of Malaysia's ex-Health Minister, which was made fun off too. It was reenacted somewhat, with the actor humping and shouting in ecstasy, "Who's your datuk (Dato) huh? Who's your datuk?"

Overall, not too bad. Had an evening of fun and laughter to kill the boredom of work.

Two more days at my current office. Yay!

It's Friday tomorrow! Double yay!